Care and Feeding of a Hawke

Behind that Eldritch Mask pt 2

It was mid day by the time Conner stopped running, exhausted and worn out. His body protested the abuse loudly enough to finally get him to stop. Conner had no earthly idea where he was in the city, somewhere above Low Town still, not far from the docks and where the Quinari were hold up. He slumped to the sun baked roof, soaked with sweat and shivering from the cool breeze off the sea. He had no idea how long he'd been running, if anyone was following him at all be they friend or foe. Only now as he sat breathing hard did he realize he left without weapons, without coin or company. He looked like some down on his luck refugee which could either keep him out of trouble or get him into it. His practical side warred with the rest of him on how foolish he was being.

"Finally finished running all over the city?" Conner spun into a crouch, hands poised as if holding his daggers, amber eyes ablaze and ready for a fight. It took him a moment to recognize Fenris standing across the roof with his arms folded over his chest. While Conner was still breathing hard Fenris looked as if he could keep running all damn day. He was a bit jealous of the elf's unflappable look actually. "I have no intention to cause you harm...the others were... concerned when you took off earlier. I seem to be the only one who could keep up."

Conner straightened up and ran his hands through his hair. "That was not exactly how I wanted this morning to start. Nor how I really wanted my friends to see me."

"It has proved to be an interesting morning." Fenris quirked a little smile and a shrug. "How did you climb up there in the first place?"

"The walls have enough cracks and nooks to get a hold of. I used to climb all the time." Conner shrugged and rubbed at his arm where his mother had grabbed him. "She hates it when I do."

"Your Mother mentioned as much in a fashion..." Fenris said as he looked Hawke over, reading into him perhaps. Not for the first time Conner wished he knew what he was thinking. "She mentioned an oak tree?"

"That was the last thing I climbed to her knowledge. We had this big old oak on our property and for ages I climbed it. One day after a rain storm I went out with my brother, Carver. I didn't realize the tree had a broken branch, it looked fine and had climbed on it hundreds of times. It broke and I fell, hitting every limb on the way down it seemed." Conner pulled one of the sleeves up to show an old scar, like a little rip in his skin that just pearled over. "Broke my arm when it got caught and the bone came right through. I hit the ground unconscious... woke up to my Father using his magic to heal me back in the house. I hit my head a few times and at one point stopped breathing. Carver was afraid of heights from that point on."

"So your mother is justified in her fear." Fenris moved to sit down, setting his sword across his lap. Conner sat too, sprawling back on the roof to stare at the sky and calm his breathing. "Your father was a mage?"

"Yes... an apostate. Mother eloped with him and fled to Ferelden. He seemed a little disappointed when I showed no talent in magic but he taught me how to fight people who used it anyway. When Bethany and Carver were born...well since then I've been the one keeping them out of trouble and landing myself neck deep in it."

"Did he teach your sister how to use her magic?" Conner could pick up the beginnings of the 'i hate mages' growl in his voice.

"He did... showed her how to control it first, then how to hide it. He taught her about how to guard against demons, templars... persistent brothers who wanted her to use magic to help with chores. Most of her magic is subtle and she knows how to fight without it too. If anyone knew she was a mage she'd be taken away, all of us tested for magic. Before they were born we just moved when someone questioned my father about magic. After we settled in Loathering." Conner turned his head to regard Fenris. "I know you hate mages, and in a way justifiably so considering your circumstances; however my sister is a lot different than a magister. You say you cannot trust a mage on the outside but I've been fighting to keep her out of the Circle most of my life. I like to think I have a damn good idea what my sister is like and how to handle her magic if she ever loses control. And she has in the past...she has much better control now."

"I... should not have spoken as I did about your sister after you helped me in Danarious' mansion. I still cannot see how you still trust so many of them." Fenris fidgeted where he sat, seemingly uncomfortable apologizing even if he did it all the time.

"I can't paint everyone with the same brush. Just because I try to keep Bethany out of the Circle and away from Templar attention does not mean all Templars are bad. I won't label every Ferelden I meet as a lazy refugee or snub my nose at every Orlesian... Its demeaning to people. I do hate slavers on principle though." Conner sighed and looked back up at the sky, unsure if he could face Fenris' scrutiny. "I don't see you as a slave or a sword or just an angry elf. You are your own person, someone who is trying to define himself and get even with the people who caused you harm. You also happen to be quite smart, have serious endurance if you managed to follow me all this way and you have to be a decent friend to even bother at all. You speak your mind and stand by your convictions... even if I think you are wrong about all mages you are right about some. I don't have to agree with you to like you as a person."

"You see all of that in me? We have barely known one another a week." Fenris furrowed his brow, frowning a bit at Conner's admission.

"I've learned to read people. To look farther than what they show." Conner laughed a bit. "I mean up until this spectacular failure of a morning how did you view me?"

"You are a capable fighter and leader. You seem to have garnered the loyalty of a few people who normally would not be around one another. I have seen you walk as easily in the Guard Barracks as you do down a Low Town street as if you belonged there with every right to be there. I was surprised to see Anso had found such a capable person to help me." the rogue didn't miss the softer tone to Fenris' voice as he mentioned it. He reminded his heart to stop reading everything as a sign of affection from the elf.

"I meant what I said when I told you that all you had to do was ask."

"That too... you help and ask for little in return, often before you know someones character. Sometimes before you even know what you are getting into." Fenris shook his head. "You are a strange man Hawke. But one more honest and true than any I've met in a long time."

"Even with this outburst today?" Conner winced, still abel to recall with frightening accuracy the look on his mother and sister's faces.

"Everyone has their limits. It is unrealistic for anyone to expect you to do what you do and not be affected by it." Fenris graced Conner with another ghost of a smile. "I do have to say though you show a great deal of fortitude. You sounded resentful of caring for your family as you do however. A burden you keep on yourself even if you have no need to."

"I... don't really know what else to do." Conner folded his arms behind his head from where he lay on the ground, sweater riding up to show his stomach, hasty bandages and little ripples of scars peppered across the exposed skin. "You were a slave and shook off your shackles... you make it sound like I willingly chain myself."

"Do you?"

"Perhaps I do... but I dare not think of what will happen to my mother and sister... hell even Gamlin if I stopped and walked away. I don't think I could walk away from them. Not from Varric or Avaline... even Isabella and Merrill or even Anders. Least of all you." Conner caught an intrigued look and tilt of the head from Fenris at that last bit. The rogue blushed a little and looked back to the sky to try and act like it hadn't happened.

"It is... what you do and who you are, Hawke; but there is more to you than what people see. I... am greatful to see that side of you."

"Why? Nice to know that even a human or someone who has it all together can fall down too?"

"No." Fenris stood, sheathing his sword across his back. "A lesser man would have continued the argument, perhaps become violent against family. You saw yourself as a threat to them and removed yourself... there is a strength to you I did not see before and am glad for it. One day, perhaps, I shall figure you out." Fenris gvae him a small, fragile half smile. A barely there one but it was very much worth it. He reached down to help his companion back to his feet.

"Well at least I can prove to be entertaning until you do." Conner took his hand in a firm grip and was pulled back up with very little effort of his own. It was almost frightening and more than a little enticing how strong Fenris actually was. "I will have to apologize to Mother and Bethany... Just...not now."

"Come... let us go to the Hanged Man. Your sister said if anyone finds you to go there first. I am sure by now Captain Avaline has sent some of the city guard looking for you."

"She does hate it when she can't keep tabs on me." Conner smirked a bit, heading to the roof edge to look for a way down.

"Conner?" Fenris looked at the rogue, sure he was once again going to fling himself into free fall to get to the ground. He didn't want to tell the human how many times he was sure that he'd be peeling him off of a building or the street during the chase."There is a ladder over here."

"Oh.. well we could use that sure." Conner shrugged and followed Fenris down to the ground, leaping down the last few rungs just for the heck of it. "Well lead on, to the Hanged Man and whatever awaits."

"Of course... one more thing however." Fenris turned to face the slightly taller man squarely, eyeing him in a way that made Conner's stomach flutter in that cold yet thrilling way. "Cornelius?"

"Oh Maker..." Conner's palm impacted his own face with a resounding smack, gold eyes peaking between his fingers. "Mother wanted a good proper name... Father didn't want me to hate my name and I had a hell of a time spelling it so Conner stuck."

"You do realize the others are going to poke fun for a while."

"Weeks at the least! Then they'll wait till I forget they know." The rogue's shoulders slumped, making him look even more waifish in the over-sized sweater and bare feet. Fenris caught himself following the darkening line of the man's blush down around his ears and along the contours of his neck.

"I think I prefer Conner." Fenris said quietly walking in step with his friend. The smile he earned was worth the entire run across rooftops.