All Over Again…
hey guys, sorry for making your wait so long and sorry to all those who may have died of heart attacks. I hope this will revive you. Anyway work has been getting really hectic so bear with me. I wrote this while dying with the flu so again, bear with me...Enjoy or not, your choice.
Chapter 9
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or any of their characters, yada yada yada, this gets so old.
The Goth was sprawled on the grass, her hands beneath her head. With her eyes slightly hooded she took in the breathing of the night. The beautiful noises that just brought the creek alive. The billions of blue blazing stars that erupted across the planes of the night's sky. An experience only a few people were privileged to and thankfully she was one of them, she smiled. It was nights like these that got the better of the young writer's heart linking it with her most important tool, her mind. She bit her lip as her mind travelled through the parallels of her abundant conflicting emotions. Then the most important notion hit her. What if love could be a tangible? For Jade West, it most certainly was and it nearly all of its weight was lying on top of her. She stared at the half Latina that was snuggled into her.
Tori's brown eyes were wandering the sky's stars, her breathing calm, yet her heart rate was slightly elevated. It was almost exploding with the intake of the creek's magnificence. She felt as if she were in one of those story books her dad used to read to her when she was younger. You know the ones with the castles, dragons, princesses and of course the prince. How she used to dream of prince charming coming to sweep her off her feet, she thought with a grin. Oh, how times have changed, now instead her savior was a temperamental Goth girl. She nuzzled in closer, thinking she wouldn't have it any other way.
Tori smiled and pointed up into the air. "Hey look it's the northern star." Then brought her gaze back to the Goth who seemed to be lost in her own little world.
Jade was interrupted from her journey of thoughts. She blinked twice at the brunette. "What?"
Tori shook her head and smiled. "Are you even looking at the stars?"
Jade stared at her, incredulously. "Of course I am."
Tori frowned "But you were looking at me."
"And your point is?" The Goth shrugged, her lips quirking when she witnessed the soft smile that made its way onto the brunette's face. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the look she was getting from Tori she asked. "What?"
"You don't know, do you?" Tori whispered.
"Know what?" Jade murmured back.
"How romantic you are…" Tori said with a dreamy smile.
"Romantic?" Jade practically snorted. "Yeah right…"
Tori caught the small tint of red that made its way onto the Goth's pale cheeks. She leaned up and placed a smacking kiss on the Goth's lips. "God, you're so adorable!" Jade winced at the term.
"Jeez, first I'm romantic and now I'm adorable. You making me sound so gay." Jade scowled at the brunette.
"Earth to Jade, you are gay…" Tori rolled her eyes.
"Not the point, you know what I mean…"
"Uh…huh." Tori continued to grin at the Goth, making her squirm under the scrutiny.
"You loving this, aren't you?" Jade asked flatly.
It was the brunette's turn to play dumb. "Loving what?"
"Embarrassing me."
Tori giggled. "Utterly!"
"Yeah, yeah just shut up and kiss me already." Jade rolled her eyes as her arms travelled southwards to rest on the brunette's hips.
"I can do that." Tori's smirked, her hands reached up to get lost in thick raven hair, she maneuvered her body to fit more comfortably bringing the Goth's lips to meet her own.
Their lips gliding and brushing together, Jade wrapped one of her legs around the brunette's petit body and in one swift motion reversed their positions. Tori giggled into Jade's curved mouth, feeling the Goth's body weight pinning her into the grass, her arms sliding down the Goth's spine. Jade's own hands deep into the texture of the brunette hair, gripping and deepening the kiss. She just loved the feel of half Latina's hair between her fingers, so soft, so smooth and moist. The wetness increasing in her palm until her whole hand felt consumed by liquid. She broke the kiss, staring at her crimson stained hands. Her heart jumped into her throat, searching for the source. Blood spreading fast, blood, so much blood. The body beneath hers stilled. Her eyes meeting the wide, hollow, lost brown eyes. "Vega?" She said frantically patting the brunette's cheek. The half Latina's face pliable to the motion, lifeless…
...
"Tori!" Jade gasped as her eyes flew open, the white lights blinding her.
Beck gathered the Goth whose head was resting against his lap, up into his arms. "Hey, hey it's only a dream." Jade stiffened in his arms and tried to pull out. But he just held on. Then she found herself clinging to him desperately, her body writhing, her tears drenching his shirt. His hands rubbing small comforting circles against her back. "Shshsh… It was only a dream, baby." Beck stared out into the hospital waiting room, watching the nurses, patients and a few visitors drifting in and out. He squeezed Jade closer to him. Part off him was relieved to feel the wetness against his chest. For the past two days, Jade was in a zombie state, no emotions gracing her face, not even the automatic built in scowl she was probably born with. She was acting too strong for her own good, holding everything in. He was afraid he would have to admit her into hospital as well. He kissed the top her head. "Just a dream." He murmured in a comforting tone when the sobbing died down.
Jade pulled back, her face back to being in blank disarray. He was saddened to see the emptiness in those green emeralds. She wiped the remnants of her tears forcefully to erase any pain that was evident. Then gently removed herself from the comforting contact of her best friend. She couldn't bear be in his arms and not tear up. She felt cold when she moved back onto her seat. "You let me fall asleep." She said with bite in her tone.
"Well, I'm sorry but you needed it." He shot back with equal bite. When she said nothing and looked away, he continued. "Jade you hadn't slept in two days. I'm not going to sit here and watch you worry yourself sick." He placed two fingers under her chin, drawing her up to meet his eyes. "Tori wouldn't want that Jade, and you know it."
"How the hell would you know what she wants? She can't tell you can she? She's been in fucken surgery for the last couple of hours." He witnessed the bitterness burning in her eyes, but sadly he could see it was directed to herself.
His tone softened. "It wasn't your fault, Jade."
She let out a humorless chuckle. "Isn't it?" She rose from her seat her back to him, her hands crossed protectively over her chest. "Isn't it? If I just answered that fucking phone do you think she would have came back? We would have been fine. She would have been fine."
The melancholy in her was overwhelming, he stood, his heart aching for the woman who seemed to have the whole world on her shoulders. "You can't know that, Jade, things happen for a reason."
She whirled on him, her tears threatening again but she swallowed it down. "Fuck reason Beck, I don't give a shit about all that philosophical crap. Fact is she was here because of me."
"I know you hurting Jade, but…" He stepped towards her wanting to pull her into his arms. But she retreated holding her hands up, shaking her head.
"No. I don't want to hear it. It's not about me being hurt. I wish I was the one hurt Beck, but she is and it comes back to me." She dropped her hands and her gaze tilted to the side, unable to meet his eyes.
His frustration and anger threatened to get the better of him. Couldn't she see what she was doing to herself. He put his hands on her shoulders and violently shook her. "You weren't driving that goddam car that hit the cab, Jade!"
She let the motion take over her body not resisting in the least. "No, but my dad was Beck." This time she met his eyes, hers cold as ice. "My dad…My own dad."
He practically wanted to scream at this moment, his anger vibrating within him. But those eyes dead, usually full with such passion, anger, love, he knew them all. But nothing like this. She really believed she was responsible and it tore at him. "Listen to how ridiculous you sound, Jade. You're smarter than that, to know what your dad does is not your fucken responsibility."
"Apparently I'm not." With that she left him, the emotions threatening all at once, nausea building up. She rushed into the ladies' bathroom, kicking open an empty stall and letting her stomach go. The taste of bile the only thing glazing her mouth, since she hadn't eaten from the last time she threw up, a few hours ago. Her eyes remained shut as she rode off the last wave of the nausea before getting up. Her mind reeling in different states of consciousness over the past four days. The first half a dream, the rest the dream turned nightmare. It felt like a blur, from the moment she picked up the phone, hearing Trina's frantic voice, stopping her own heart. Then moments later a second phone call, relaying that Mr. West was involved in the similar accident, in his drunken stupor. Both of them now occupants of this very hospital. Her numb state going over the information over and over again.
She pulled the chain and headed towards the sink. Her eyes deliberately averting from the mirror, unable to face the person staring back at her. She opened the tap cupping water beneath her palm, and bringing it to her mouth. She gargled once, then twice, and then using both hands, she splashed the coolness of the water against the paleness of her face. The cool water soothing the raw skin around her eyes. Her eyes opened to be locked on her right hand, picturing the blood that thickly coated it in her dream. She usually didnt have a problem with blood but this was Vega's blood. Did it have some sort of significance that the perfect memory of where they spent the last night of brunette's visit, be tainted with Tori's blood on her hands? So much blood. Her stomach threatening again so she pushed the image from her mind, knowing there was nothing left inside her. She rested her hip against the counter, her head lowered and her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.
She took in a deep breath as the door opened. "Jade." The woman gasped. Jade's head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice. Their eyes held for a moment before Jade lowered them seeing the expected pain within the older woman. She looked so distraught, her appearance muddled that another wave of guilt swam over the Goth. She could sense the older woman's eyes scrutinizing her.
"Mrs. Vega." Jade finally said when she found her voice, though it was small.
Mrs. Vega sighed as she walked over to the tap next to Jade's, washing her hands. "Tori just came out of theatre." She said staring at the profile of the Goth in the mirror. Jade nodded, her tense shoulders somewhat relaxing. "How is your father?"
Jade stiffened and raised eyes to meet those in the mirror. "I don't know."
Mrs. Vega shut the tap off and turned to face Jade. "Didn't you go see him?" The Goth shook her head, a little anger visible through her shield. "I see…" She could see the twisted angst in the girl, her heart going out to the poor Goth who was clearly caught in a two way emotional battle. "Well, I'm going to check on my daughter, you'll come right?" She looked over her shoulder as she pulled out a wipe from the compartment on the wall.
Jade was stunned at the way Mrs. Vega made the request, almost expecting. How could this woman bear to look at her, so kindly even though her own daughter's well-being was compromised by the Goth? Jade simply nodded and saw the hint of a weak smile produced on the older woman's face. "Mrs. Vega?"
The older woman stopped at the door and shot a look over her shoulder at the Goth. "Jade?"
"I'm…" Jade's voice broke slightly but she knew she had to get it out. "I'm so sorr-. Oomph." She was interrupted when she was crushed in a desperate embrace.
Mrs. Vega held the stiff girl tight in her arms, her own tears escaping. "I know, honey, I know." Jade couldn't maintain her composure within the warmth comfort of the embrace. Her body started trembling, her arms at her sides as she squeezed her eyes tight in a desperate attempt to hold in her tears. "It's not your fault, not your fault."
"But my dad." Jade started, her voice failing her.
"Is also paying for it." Mrs. Vega pulled back, searching in those beautiful green eyes. "And right now, all we can do is pray." She pulled wipes off the wall and handed one to Jade. "For the both of them." Jade wiped her eyes wondering where on earth that woman gets her strength and compassion from. "So what do you say we stop hiding out in a lavatory, and go see my daughter?"
"Okay, I'll be there in a bit."
"Okay." Mrs. Vega nodded.
"Mrs. Vega?"
"Yes Jade?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"Mrs. Vega raised a brow.
"I don't know, I guess for everything. Mainly for having Tori."
Mrs. Vega let out her first genuine smile in days. "You're welcome, I guess." She opened the door. "Though I must tell you, I did have help." And with wink she left.
Jade shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips briefly. They were so much alike, mother and daughter. Their kindness, their open-mindedness, their humor and they both left her feeling light hearted. Unlike her and her own mother, that was probably camping in her father's ward. Not that she knew where it was or intended to find out. All she knew about him was that he wasn't dead. She had no idea what injuries he had sustained nor did she care at this point. She just couldn't.
She walked out of the bathroom to see Beck leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, eyes shut. His eyes popping open when he heard the door close behind her. He spoke, his voice low. "Tori's out, want to go see her?"
She shook her head. "Not yet, give the Vega's some time."
"Okay." He nodded. "Let's go get something to eat in the meantime." He grabbed her hand steering her towards the cafeteria.
"But I'm not hungry." She complained.
"Don't care, you will eat, even if I have to force it down your throat." He threatened as he pushed her into seat at a small secluded table. "Is there anything you want specifically?" She shook her head, resigning as she had no energy to go toe to toe with him again. "Okay, I'll see what they have." He left her to join the queue.
Her eyes started to wander the spacious area taking in all the signs. Casualties, ICU, ER, Pediatrics, maternity, chapel… She shook her head. What is this? Days of our lives? Beck returned with two interested sandwiches on his tray, a root beer and a Coke. He settled the tray on the table pushing the Coke and one sandwich towards the Goth. "I thought you might like turkey." She shrugged and took a small bite of her sandwich which tasted like cardboard. But she continued eating, her body craving the nutrition. They both ate silently for a while. Then Beck broke the silence. "I saw Andre, Cat and Robbie around, they came to check on Tori's progress. They asked how you doing."
"Oh and what did you tell them?" She sipped her Coke.
"I said I have no idea." He let out a humorless chuckle.
"I'm fine." She said staring at the other half of her sandwich.
He studied her. "I'd say you far from that."
"Then why did you ask?" She rolled her eyes.
"I didn't, they did." He countered with a small smile which earned him another signature eye roll. He took another bite of his sandwich, then spoke a sober expression on his face. "I saw your mother."
Jade hardened about to wake up when he caught her hand. "Don't."
"Just go see him, Jade." Beck gave her a pleading look. Truth was he was uncertain that Mr. West was going to make it and he didn't want the Goth to take more strain on her shoulders.
"You can't ask that of me."
"Well I am. He is in an induced coma, his injuries are too severe for him to heal consciously."
"No, I don't want to know. I just can't." She shook her head as she rose, pulling her hand free. She left him, sitting there staring after her.
Jade made her way through the passages, randomly needing to get away. Mostly from her own mind. Somehow she found her way into the maternity ward. The noises drawing her, the closer she got the more her thoughts died down. She finally reached a glass screen with dozens of babies behind them. Some of them crying, some of them sleeping, some of them silent eyes slightly opened staring at her.
"Which ones yours?" A voice whispered behind her.
Jade was startled and turned around. "I'm sorry what?"
"Which baby is yours?" A woman, probably in her early thirties was staring through the window. She had bleached blonde hair, her eyes seemed to have huge dark rings around them. Her robe scruffy but it was one of those high quality material. She was probably one of those LA heiresses. Yet her body looked really fragile probably from her partying life. She looked horrible in the least, Jade thought.
"Um, none. Yours?"
The lady dug into her into her robe pocket pulling out a box of cigarettes pointing it to the blonde with beautiful big green eyes. "That one right over there." She opened the box pulling out one cigarette. "So what's your deal kid? You spy on babies or what?"
"No, that would be really weird." Jade's brows drew.
"Well you don't strike me as normal." The blonde flicked her lighter a couple of times.
"I could the same for you." Jade pulled the cigarette from the ladies mouth. "And you not allowed to smoke here." Heiresses think they can do whatever they please.
"Well give me a break kid, I just gave birth a few days ago and I don't breast feed. My boyfriend left me with that little bundle over there. I need something for suckiness my life has to endure."
"Okay if we having a competition on whose life sucks worse, then my drunken father loses control of his car and rams into my girlfriend's cab, now both of them are here, him in a coma and she just came out a neurological surgery because she had slight internal bleeding her brain."
The woman blinked twice. "Okay, so you win."
"Yeah well." Jade shrugged. "What are you going to name her?" Jade indicated to the little girl.
The blonde tapped her finger to her lips. "Hmmm…What's your name kid?"
"Jade, you?"
"Andy, I think I'll name her Jade." The blonde shrugged.
"Why?"
"Because I haven't thought of name." God, people can be so oblivious, so pathetic, so selfish. Jade stared at the baby thinking perhaps in a few years that little girl would turn out to be as tormented as her.
"Well, I think its fitting." Jade said, her voice low.
"Really?"
"Yes, really because we both have losers for parents." Jade turned to see Andy taken aback by her comment. Then stepped towards her, a dark look on her face. The blonde took a fearful step back. "So unless you want her to turn out as resentful as me in a few years, I'd seriously reconsider my parental skills and actually develop some." Jade strode right past her. The woman got on her nerves reminding her of her own neglectful, selfish parents. Was there no where she could leave them? Apparently not.
She walked towards Tori's ward, thinking perhaps enough time had passed. With her hands stuck in her jean's pockets she passed many wards seeing patients walking around, families gathered, little kids running around. The doctors with their clipboards, nurses pushing trolleys or gathered chatting about who would give old Mr. Smith his sponge bath. Just the usual cold atmosphere surrounding the passages.
Finally, she reached room 207, her heart sank. She waited outside to catch her breath and keep her stomach settled. She had no idea what she expected to see, all she knew was it was bad. Could she bear to see the half Latina with machines attached to her? Well you better she told herself as she stepped inside, part of her hoping that this was all one bad dream and she would wake up any minute now. But the moment she saw the hint of a familiar face with breathing equipment resting on the standard hospital bed, her heart squeezed. It was real. All of it. That beautiful face was covered with purplish bruises, a few scratches on the side of her cheek. A little cut just above her eyebrow that dipped up into the white bandage that encircled her head completely. Jade let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. She stepped more into the room knowing that if she didn't she would flee cowardly. She looked at the little screen with the heart beat sounding off, every two seconds or so. Still beating. It's still beating. That was something. She wasn't usually the glass is half full type of person but she had to be in this case. Because she refused to think of the alternative. There was no alternative.
She strolled towards the bed, more and more wounds becoming visible. She lifted her hand up gently brushing aside the strand of brunette hair that snuck out of the bandage. It felt so unreal, the coldness of the brunette's skin against her fingers. She sat down on the chair besides the bed, her head resting against the mattress, her hand finding its way to the brunette's, gently linking their fingers. Her eyes closed, listening to Tori's strained breathing. A single tear running down her pale cheek.
….
The days were long, the nights were longer. Well that's at least what it seemed like to the Goth. A few days had passed since Tori had come out of surgery. She had woken up a couple of times in a groggy state since. But yesterday she was coherent enough, staying up for longer periods but sadly the Jade caught her in the exhaustion period. Hopefully she made the conscious one today. Her progress was slow but somewhat positive. Except for the scare they had when Tori had a seizure. It was still touch and go. Jade made her way to room 207 like she had done every day after work. Today she had a stupid black stuffed bear in her hands, it had enormous dark sunglasses for its little beady eyes. She reached the door when she heard a few voices inside, all familiar. It sounded like Tori's mother, her father and her doctor. She remained outside uncertain what to do, so she just listened.
"But you said that there was a good chance that she would recover fully."
"Well, Mrs. Vega there's a very good chance at that. But that's what it is, just a chance. There could be other complications."
"Such as?" Mr. Vega spoke holding his wife in his arms.
"She could suffer from excessive nosebleeds, more seizures which could result in extensive memory loss or something entirely worse."
Jade could hear the soft sobs of Mrs. Vega's crying muffled into her husband's shirt. "Is there anything else that we can do?" Mr. Vega asked.
"All, we can do know is wait out the storm and see where it leaves us. We have done the best we can." Mr. Vega nodded and dragged his wife out of the room.
"Shshsh…Honey, shshsh, Tori will be just fine." He kissed her forehead.
Mrs. Vega sniffled. "How do you know?"
"Because our Tori is a fighter, she never gives up. Remember how she fought to be born? When we thought we couldn't handle anymore children after Trina?" Mrs. Vega let out a watery chuckle.
"Yeah, she was a miracle." Mrs. Vega wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
"She still is." Mr. Vega grinned wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the passage.
Jade came out from the corner she was hiding in, she didn't want them to catch her eavesdropping. She walked into the room full with giant cards, flowers and dozens of stuffed animals. She placed her stuffed bear in the center with the rest of them and walked over to the bed, Tori deep in slumber. Her green eyes roaming the half Latina's face. Most of the bruises seemed to be healing nicely turning that sickening yellow colour. The little cut was almost invisible. But most of all the Goth reveled in the soft breathing of the brunette as the equipment had been removed a few days ago. She used the back of her hand to brush the stubborn piece of hair off Tori's face. She gently brought Tori's hand to her lips then slowly put it back down. Staring at her for a few moments before turning her attention to the big window. It gave a perfect view of the sunset, Tori would have loved it, she thought ruefully. She stared out watching the sun get closer and closer to the end, her mind playing on what the doctor had said. 'Or something entirely worse.' Worse how?
"I swear Vega, if you do something stupid, like die, I will never forgive you, you hear me. Never…" Jade spoke, her voice soft.
"Not even a little?" A small coarse voice asked.
"Nope!" Jade shook her head. Then froze realizing someone was talking back to her. She turned around to see Tori's eyes open smiling weakly at her, relief hit her like a gush of wind. "Hey you." She managed to say.
"Hey." Tori said her eyes drooping a little.
"How are you feeling?" Jade asked staying where she was near the window.
"Like someone took a drill to my head." Tori said her throat feeling dry, trying to reach for the small plastic cup besides her.
Jade smiled weakly and helped her, putting the straw in and bringing it to her mouth. "That's probably because someone did."
Tori took a generous sip soothing her throat. "Oh then that explains a lot then." Tori shifted then let out a small groan.
Jade put the cup down, her eyes revealing the worry. "Does it hurt?"
"Only like everywhere."
"I'll get a nurse."
"No stay." Jade stopped at the door. "They will just give me something to sleep."
"So?"
"So, I've slept for over a week, I was told yesterday. Just come talk to me for a little while." Tori gave her pleading eyes.
"Okay if you sure." Jade said and settled into the chair besides the bed and rested her hand on the bed.
"I'm sure. I woke up a couple times but I've been bored so they put me to sleep." Tori let out a small yawn.
"I came yesterday but you'd fallen asleep."
"Yeah I know, my mother said you've been coming every day, after she filled me on how I ended up here." Tori smiled as she linked their hands together.
"I have." Jade nodded.
"Well, I'm sure my company was totally tedious in my slumber state."
"Not more than usual." Jade shrugged with a hidden smirk.
Tori let out a soft chuckle. "You know if my body wasn't sore, this is the part where I'd smack you on the arm."
"And this is the part where I'd go 'OW'." Jade grinned.
"I'm so glad we understand each other." The brunette grinned playing with the Goth's fingers. "So how are the guys?"
"Beck's been on my nerves recently."
"Funny, that's what he said about you." Tori retorted.
"When did you see him?" Jade looked at the brunette.
"Yesterday, after school. He came in. And sadly babe, I'm on his side. You need to look after yourself." Tori gave Jade a disapproving glare.
"Yeah, yeah what else did you discuss?" Jade rolled her eyes.
Tori sighed. "Your dad."
"Oh." Jade's eyes widened.
"Jade maybe you should-"
"What Vega, what? He is the reason you're here." Jade turned her gaze towards the door.
"I know but Jade…"
"Please, please let's just drop this." Tori witnessed the pain mixed with anger in the Goth's eyes, unsure how to erase it.
Resigned Tori sighed. "Okay, so tell me something." He body was sort of straining but she wanted to spend more time with the Goth.
"I got a baby named after me."
"Really, did you like become a local hero while I was out of it?"
"You'd think, wouldn't you? But no, I'm no hero. Some messed up mother decided to name her baby girl Jade just because she couldn't think of another name. Imagine that, another Jade goes through the woes of poor parenting."
"I'm sorry. So was she beautiful?" Tori shifted a little, biting her bottom lip.
"She's a baby. Most of them are close to bald and gooey." Tori would have rolled her eyes if sharp eye movement didn't hurt. Jade let out a soft chuckle. "Okay, so maybe she was beautiful in a baby kind of way. She had green eyes."
"Aww, I love green eyes."
"Really?"
"Well, duh, why do you think I liked you in the first place? It wasn't because you were intelligent, different, confident, moody, dangerously sexy and absolutely the most beautiful person inside and out. It was because of your eyes, the rest was just a bonus." Tori grinned.
Jade grinned and shook her head. "You nut."
"Yes, but I'm your nut." Tori smiled, her eyes closing.
"Always. Why don't you get some rest?"
"Are you going to leave?" Tori stared down at the Goth a dazed look in her eyes.
"No." Jade smiled.
"Okay, I am feeling a little fuzzy. Goodnight baby, I love you." Tori murmured as she turned her head and relaxed her face.
"I love you too." Jade said bringing the brunettes palm to her lips. Within seconds Tori was deep in sleep. Her breathing filling the room. Jade leaned back in her chair, closing her own eyes, resting them for a bit.
hmmm... i felt bad for leaving you at a cliff the last time, so i took pity.
more drama on the way, let me know what you think...
you know what to do...
Review... ;)