A/N: Paul is up first this week. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did there would be a lot fewer vampires and a lot more werewolves.

Paul

What does she mean she doesn't date? Who the hell doesn't date? Was she becoming a nun or something?

"I don't date," she said firmly.

I didn't understand. "Can I ask why?"

She seemed at war with herself, not knowing how to explain it. Then her face hardened and she said, "I'd rather you didn't actually." My eyes fell to the ground. If she wasn't going to explain it to me, how I was I ever going to get past it? I was going to spend my life waiting in the wings for her to realize that I'm not going to break her heart. I needed to take an active role in things.

She continued. "It's not you I promise. I'm just in a place in my life right now where dating would only complicate things. I'm sorry."

This was going to be so much more difficult that I thought. Finally I decided it would be best to honor her wishes. She didn't know it yet, but eventually she wouldn't be able to stay away from me. I hoped.

"Ok, I guess I'll see you around then." I smiled at her as I got up to leave. I needed to phase NOW!

I started walking as calmly as I could towards the woods. I would phase as soon as I was out of sight. I wasn't even worried about my clothes. I didn't like these shorts too much anyway. I quickened my pace, the urge to phase increasing the closer I got. Finally I started running, and as soon I was safely within the darkness of the trees I phased, not even breaking my stride.

Thankfully everyone was at the bonfire, so I was alone in my head. I ran a quick patrol around the rez then started running east. I figured I would turn around when I hit Seattle. Hopefully that would give me enough time to think. For the first thirty miles or so my brain was just a jumble, and I couldn't form a single coherent thought. They only thing I was certain of was Rachel. She was now the center of my life, the answer to every question, my only reason for breathing.

I saw her in my mind, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even if she wasn't my imprint I would still think so. Though I wasn't sure if I could be impartial now. I thought about my previous fantasy, Keira Knightly, and now she looked like a walrus to me. Sure I could still see why most people would find her attractive, but I knew she didn't hold a candle to Rachel.

I thought about all the feelings that rushed through me when I thought about her. Pure unadulterated happiness, complete and total adoration, a desire to be her own personal armor to protect her from anything and everything that might ever desire to hurt her. I found feelings within myself I never thought existed. I knew that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I had incredible loyalty to my pack, but I knew if it came to a choice between them and Rachel, I wouldn't even blink.

I always thought the other guys were exaggerating when they talked about imprinting. I had even seen it in their heads, and I didn't believe them. I could tell that they loved their imprint, but I had never felt the pull. It wasn't anything that had to do with the mind. It was almost like I was physically bound to her. As I ran farther from La Push, it got harder to keep going. Every step I took carried me away from Rachel, and my body fought against it. I didn't even make it halfway to Seattle before I turned back. I would just run in circles around La Push if I had to. I couldn't run away from her.

I got back and ran toward the bonfire. I was almost there when I caught her scent. It was like heaven. I turned my route so I could follow it. I wanted to know why she wasn't at the bonfire anymore. Had something gone wrong?

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw her walking on the path from the beach to her house. She appeared to be going home, though why I couldn't be sure. She was walking quickly with her arms crossed in front of her body. She was shivering. Why was she walking by herself after dark? Where was Jacob? And why was she walking around half-naked? Okay, she had tank top on but it was cold, she should have had a sweater or something….

…or a werewolf. Hmm, that wasn't such a bad idea. I knew that I would be able to warm her up more quickly than any sweater would ever be able to, but when I started to phase back I realized I had shredded my shorts. I lived on the other side of the rez. She would be home before I made it there and back to grab another pair, so I had to settle for watching her practically freeze to death as she started jogging the rest of the way home.

Why hadn't Jacob walked her home? What an asshole. Didn't he care about his sister at all? As I was finishing that thought, I felt someone else phase. It took me a minute to realize it was Jacob. Shit.

Thinking about me? he asked.

You wish. I wouldn't think about you if you were my imprint. I wasn't in the mood for this.

Yeah you wish I was your imprint. Honestly, you'd probably have a better chance with me and I would die first.

I was completely confused. How did I have a better chance with him than his sister? At least she was a girl. Oh, god. She's not a lesbian is she?

Jacob was laughing. Or whatever we wolves do that is equivalent to laughing. I don't think so. She plays with her favorite toy too much.

Right before he thought of what it was he quickly diverted his thoughts to his car.

What the hell? What's her favorite toy? I had no idea what the hell a toy had to do with him knowing she wasn't a lesbian.

I'm giving you a clue dumbass. He thought of his car again. When he saw I wasn't getting it he focused on the back of the car. Right next to the VW symbol was the model of the car, a Rabbit.

A Rabbit? What the hell does that have to do with anything? I can't figure out what that could - OH MY GOD! Your sister has a vibrator?

I took Jacob's silence as an affirmation. Ok, a few questions. One, how do you know that about your sister? Two, why did you feel the need to share that with me? And third, WHAT THE FUCK MAN? You have issues.

It's not like I meant to find out, he thought, which I completely believed. You would have to be absolutely deranged to want to know that. I saw it the last time she was home, and she proceeded to tell me all about it. He made a gagging noise. I really thought he was going to vomit there for a second as I got a glimpse of that memory. Then he directed my attention to a specific quote.

Rachel was standing in the middle of her room holding her prize possession. "Oh please, don't get so worked up about it. The only drawback to a vibrator is that it can't mow the lawn."

For some reason this excited me. I could mow the lawn. When Jacob started laughing I realized how ridiculous that was.

Shut up, Jacob.

You can mow the lawn? That's the only advantage you present over a vibrator? No wonder she's not falling all over herself to go out with you. She doesn't have a lawn, Leah weighed in. I hadn't felt her phase, and I was really pissed she thought she could be a part of this conversation.

I'm not interested in your thoughts on the matter Leah. If you had your way we'd all be replaced with your battery operated friends. I'm going home.

I started running, and I wished that the wind rushing past would drown out the thoughts in my head. Unfortunately it didn't, but I did my best to block out as much of Leah's whining as I could until I reached my house. I phased back and walked back to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of shorts and looked longingly at my bed. I was desperately tired, but I knew there was no way I would be able to sleep.

I pulled my shorts on and headed out the front door. I needed to go for a walk. I was sure the entire pack knew about my imprinting by now and could be counted on to give me shit the second I phased. If I couldn't run by myself, at least I could walk without interruptions. I wasn't planning to go to the Rachel's house, but I knew that's where I would end up. I could feel the pull now, and I was sure the closer I got, the harder it would be to resist.

As predicted, less than 20 minutes later, I found myself standing at the tree line behind the house. I knew from my many visits here that Rachel's room was in the back, the second window from the right. I stood in the trees, keeping a safe distance away in case she was still awake or if Jacob had come home. It would not be good if he caught me peeking in his sister's window.

After a few minutes of standing there I had to know that she was safe and in bed. I figured one little peek couldn't hurt, so I walked about halfway across the yard to see inside the darkened room. She was lying on her bed with her back towards the door, facing me. I was about to turn back when her shoulders shook. She wasn't sleep, she was crying. Why was she crying? My heart broke for her, and I started walking around to the front of the house. I didn't care how creepy it looked that I knew she was crying. I needed to be there to comfort her.

Her urgent whisper stopped me. "Mom!" I crept back to the window to try to hear the rest of her thought. She didn't say anything more for awhile, just incoherent sobs. Every once in a while she would interject another name. I heard her mention Katie, Jacob, both of her parents, and Rebecca. Then she said what I felt like I had been waiting my whole life to hear. "I'm sorry, Paul. I'm so sorry."

Rachel

"I don't date," I repeated slowly. How hard was this for him to grasp? He seemed completely shocked.

"Can I ask why?" he inquired, speaking even slower, like he wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy. I wanted to explain to him, but in all honesty, sometimes I barely understood my reasoning. All I knew was that it was easier when I didn't date. And I tended to take the easy way out of most situations. How could I expect someone else to get that? It hardly made sense to me.

"I'd rather you didn't actually," I told him. His eyes dropped to the group, and I felt bad for shooting him down so heartlessly. He had feelings too. "It's not you I promise. I'm just in a place right now where dating would only complicate things. I'm sorry."

I really was sorry. He seemed nice enough, but I wasn't willing to risk it. He could break my heart just as easily as anyone else, probably more so since I was drawn to him more than others. I just didn't want to add broken heart on to my list of severe emotional crises.

Thankfully he seemed to accept this. "Ok, I guess I'll see you around then." He smiled at me and stood up. I watched him walk away, and he appeared to be quivering. The closer he got to the trees the faster he went. I wondered why he didn't take his car. Maybe he lived close. I didn't really speculate too much, knowing that I'd done enough guessing for the night.

Jake came and sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. He was very warm, and it felt nice in the cool night air.

"Paul leave?" he asked me. I caught the optimistic tone in his voice. I still wasn't sure what exactly had gone on in the woods, but it was clear that he didn't want me around Paul. I was glad I'd told him no. Jake was only looking out for my well-being.

"Yeah, he was going home to go to bed. He has to work early tomorrow."

Jake snorted. "I have to work early tomorrow too, and I'm still here. It's only 10. How much sleep does he need?"

"Since when do you work?" I asked him. I hadn't remembered anyone mentioning Jake getting a job.

He chuckled. "Since I had my growth spurt." Why did he keep talking about this growth spurt? Yeah he grew, but why is that such a big deal? Did he get a job reaching things on a top shelf? I doubted it, so why did he seem to focus on it?

"What do you do?" I asked.

"I work with the rest of the guys. We work security," he answered. What, was he a bouncer at the non-existent club in La Push? What could he possibly be working security for? I raised my eyebrows. "That's really all I can tell you. We have this confidentiality thing, and I can't break it."

I was shocked that he wouldn't tell me. "Does Dad know?"

He sighed. "Yeah, but only because he's an Elder."

I needed to know more about this. Security sounded dangerous. And why did Dad get to know because he's an Elder? What do the Elders have to do with anything? Jake looked at me and realized he'd told me too much. I was about to start asking questions, so he preempted them.

"I'm really sorry but I can't tell you about it." He looked away, then let out a big sigh before he continued. "I'm sure if you really want to know Paul will tell you," he said with resignation.

My eyes bugged out of my head. Paul? Why would he be allowed to tell me something my own brother wasn't? I was hopelessly confused. I shook my head hoping some of the information would fall together and make some sense. No such luck.

I was more confused that ever, and the day's stress was starting to take its toll on me. I needed to sleep. "I think I'm going to go to bed," I told Jake.

"Oh, are you sure? They're about to start telling the stories. I know you always used to like them," he said.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired. Besides I know those stories inside and out," I bragged. He smiled at me.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

I shook my head. "No I'll be fine." I kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you in the morning."

I turned from the fire and started walking home. It was a lot colder away from the fire, and I regretted wearing only a tank top. It was August, but it was still the Olympic Peninsula, I should have known better. I shivered as I moved faster. I finally decided to start jogging. I would get there faster, and I wouldn't feel like such a waste for sitting in the car for eight hours today.

I opened the front door and went straight back to the room I shared with Becca when we were younger. It still looked exactly the same as when we had graduated from high school. Neither of us had been home long enough to care to change it since. I stared at the Orlando Bloom poster above my bed. I had been so in love with him when the Lord of the Rings movies were coming out. Of course the movies were dull as hell, but he was hot so I sat through them.

I collapsed onto the bed without even bothering to remove my jeans. My laundry was still in the washer and I had no intention of exerting the effort to put them in the dryer, so I had no pajamas. Normally at school I would just sleep in underwear, but Dad and Jake had this obnoxious habit of just barging in whenever they felt like it, and they didn't like when I didn't have pants on. Which personally I thought was whiney, since it covered just as much as a bathing suit, but they were old fashioned when it came to sleeping attire. I'm sure my dad would have preferred I sleep in a flannel nightgown. That wasn't going to happen.

I laid there for a few minutes, trying hard not to think, but I was extremely uncomfortable. These pants had to go. I didn't even sit up as I removed my jeans. I tossed them onto the floor and pulled the blankets over me. I tried to get comfortable, but I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I knew no one was going to come barging in. I stood up and walked over to the door, locking it. Normally we didn't lock doors (in fact, when we were younger it was expressly forbidden) but it seemed like the better option in this situation.

I made my way back to my bed and curled up under the covers. As hard as I tried I knew there was no way I was going to be able to sleep until I cried. So I let myself go, remember this morning, the fight with my roommate Katie, the emotions that always overtake me when I'm home, and my own insecurities about my inability to form an emotional attachment to anyone. I felt horrible for the way I'd treated Paul, and I cried about that too. I cried for what felt like forever until I finally drifted off to sleep.