Chapter 5

Two hours later, both Chell and GLaDOS were bored out of their minds. In order to remedy this, Chell had used the small phone the guard had dropped to ask other random guards if their refrigerator was running. GLaDOS was both experimenting with what exactly she could do (which included being able to use her cord as sort of a whip), and occasionally giving Chell a new line to try.

On their 274th call, a guard removed the phone from the room- or tried to while Chell cursed him out. Eventually, though, he succeeded.

"What I don't get," GLaDOS said a couple minutes after the guard left the room, "Is why you'll talk to pretty much anyone except me. It's really getting old."

Chell shrugged. 'Who am I to break tradition?'

GLaDOS gave a long-suffering sigh. "Well, fine then. Be that way. Like I care."

Chell grinned. At least she still knew how to push Her buttons.

"…" GLaDOS looked to be about to say something, then apparently either a. thought better of it, or b. she found something else to occupy her attentions.

Chell was betting heavily on b.

"Someone's coming!" GLaDOS hissed.

Sure enough, someone opened the door not two seconds after GLaDOS proclaimed it.

That 'someone' was a boy who looked about 17. He had slightly spiky brown hair, and amber eyes. He was wearing a suit embossed with the White Plateau logo.

"Uh. Hi. I'm your escort…" He mumbled, also clearly intimidated by the stare he was getting from both AI and woman.

"Wow. Really? Really? She sends a teenager to 'escort' us somewhere?" GLaDOS laughed.

"You don't have to laugh…" the boy muttered.

"Y-you do know that Chell could probably drop-kick you off of a ledge somewhere?" she said as they began walking. Chell, for the sake of her poor ears, decided that until they got some oil, she'd carry GLaDOS. Even though she was kind of heavy.

"Yes…" he said, now more annoyed than embarrassed.

"They really must not be paying you much."

"Shut up."

"I mean, seriously now. I can see at least 20 ways to get out of this situation, not counting the ones that would include violent dismemberment of your person."

"Shut up."

"Waitwaitwait… I see an air vent. 21."

"I am warning you, robot-"

"I prefer the term Artificial Intelligence. Actually, considering my intelligence is quite genuine, 'Your Vast Superior' would do."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL DO IT FOR YOU!"

"I don't have one."

"Would dropping you off the ledge suffice?" The boy growled.

Chell, although quite entertained by the spectacle, cupped a hand over GLaDOS's 'mouth' to tell Her that he probably meant it.

"Fine." GLaDOS huffed.

As they walked, they noticed they were coming very close to the Central AI Chamber. Chell made a motion to the boy asking if that was where they were going.

"Yes." He said shortly, apparently still mad after GLaDOS's tongue-lashing.

"Oh, she did not just set up in my chamber." GLaDOS hissed. Chell gave a half-apologetic shrug, while the boy just ignored Her.

They passed a broken window.

"… 22."

Chell gave the AI a smack on the bottom of the monitor- then immediately regretted it as her own belly stung.

"Ow!" yelped GLaDOS. "Don't do that!"

'Don't worry,' she thought, 'I think I've been convinced.'

The boy lagged behind as they strode into the Central AI Chamber. In the middle of the room, instead of a chassis, there was now a desk and revolving chair.

GLaDOS grumbled something under her breath about décor. Everyone ignored her.

"Well," said Olivia as her chair spun around, "Hello there." She smiled a smile too sweet to be trusted.

And for once, Chell and GLaDOS agreed completely on something:

'This is not good.'