A Life Without Regret, A Love Without Fear

Chapter 4

By: Shironami

Raul and I continued to walk not really talking about anything important; mostly he talked and I tuned him out.

"Can we go to your house?" I asked, interrupting whatever he was saying.

"My house?" He drawled.

"Yeah, I don't want to go home yet," I said shrugging.

"Sure, what do I cares?" We walked to the fork in the road and instead of taking the right road that led to my house and the shore, we took the left that went uphill.

After 10 minutes uphill on a path that twisted and turned we were led to Raul and Marie's home. It was a nice 4 bedroom 2 bath that Raul and Father had built themselves over about 2 years.

Celeste was playing in the front yard with her pet... thing. No one knew what it was or where it came from. It was small and yellow and made happy little squeaking noises as it ran in circles on its four small paws as she chased it around.

She caught it and it squealed happily as she hugged it close to her small body and pet its long, fuzzy tail, "DADDY!" She came bolting toward us, arms outstretched to Raul, the little thing she called, Pokey now perched on her upper back, head poking over her shoulder, fuzzy ears moving as it listened to everything around it.

Raul laughed hardily as he scooped her up into his large arms, "Thar's me Baby!"

She squeezed him around the neck, "I love you!" she giggle to him.

He spun her around, "I loves ya too!"

He kissed her on the cheek, "What ya been ups ta?"

"Just playin, me and Pokey was playin tag," her eyes lit up, "do you want to play wif us too, Daddy?"

"Maybe laters, I'm gonna sees if your mom needs anythin," he put her down, patting her on the top of her little copper head, the older she got the more sure I was that she was his little clone.

They were just so alike, not just with their clear, hazel eyes and dark coppery locks. She also had his chubby face and large build. She had his personality as well. I just kept thanking the gods that she didn't have his speech patterns. I don't think I could handle that. Honestly, I don't think Marie could either.

Raul put his daughter down, "I'm gonna sees if Marie wants anythings," he said to me, "I'll sees ya laters."

I smiled as he waved goodbye to me and I walked to Celeste.

"Hi, Auntie Roro," Celeste bounced up to me and hugged me around the hips, "what were you doing wif Daddy?"

"I was helping him with his deliveries, we went to the market and Borges' restaurant. Nothing special."

I took her hand and she skipped besides me as we walked up the stairs to the porch, "Where's Bernadette? Is she around?"

The small child huffed, "Yeah... somewheres," she was clearly upset with her older sister.

"What did she do to make you upset?" I asked her.

She looked at me with a face that reminded me so fully of her father that I almost laughed out loud, "She's mean! I don't like her anymore!" She said crossing her little chubby arms over her chest and closed her eyes, a frown marring her cute face.

"I'm sure you don't mean that," I smiled at her.

"oh, no... I do!" she said with emotion so deep it was a little scary. Kids this young should have so much built up anger.

I pushed open the screen door, "Well, I'm sure the two of you will work out what ever happened. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, you should go and talk to her about it."

She gave me a scathing look, "She can come and talk to me! I wasn't the one who was mean!"

"Well, why, don't you and Pokey go and play, alright?" I wondered if Marie knew about this, I made a mental note to tell her later, in case this continued and the girls needed a mediator.

She grinned ear to ear and ran off with Pokey in tow.

I shrugged and walked through the dinning room looking for my sister, "Marie?" I called out, looking around.

Her head popped out from around a corner, "Hey, there you are," she smiled like she knew something. My eyes narrowed. I loved how everyone thought I was so stupid I wouldn't notice them acting different when they tried to keep secrets.

I smiled at her, "So, you think you know something don't you?" I sighed, "well, if it's about Zane plucking his eyebrows – that's no secret."

She giggled, "Obviously not, no one has eyebrows that perfect," she gave me a mysterious smile.

"Well, what is it then?" I asked getting impatient, maybe it was something about Blanche, or maybe she heard something about that boy Fleur liked.

"Oh, come on! Don't play stupid!" She poked me in the forehead.

I frowned, "What?" She knew something about... me?

"Raul told me already... so just spit it out!" She dragged me to the living room and pushed me onto the sofa, she sat besides me, "I want to know everything!"

She watched me expectedly, practically bouncing in her chair with anticipation, "Raul... told...you? I don't have any secrets. Well, except this," I held up my bag of candy, "but it's not really a secret..." I lamely trailed off.

She smacked me across the arm, "Not that, stupid! He told me about the pirate at Sarah's tavern," she grinned and pulled at my arm.

"He did what?" That bastard! He promised not to say anything, great now I'm gonna have to kill him, "Look, it wasn't anything. We just talked a little... less than a little, it wasn't even talking, more like... smiling with words at each other," I nodded to myself.

"Dear, that's called a conversation," she said to me slowly as if I was too stupid to understand what she said if she spoke it faster, "now tell me what you talked about!"

"Nothing, he just remember me from the beach, he had my hankie," I rolled my eyes, really not a huge deal Marie.

"Oh, he kept it! How sweet!" She clasped her hands in front of her.

Yeah... sweet, he only tried to blackmail me with it... sorta. I sighed, why did everyone have to be in my business?

"Stupid pirate refused to give it back and now I'm going to have to tell Mama what happened when she notices it's gone," I let out a grief-stricken moan, "She's gonna kill me! It's all Raul's fault! He knew pirates were going to be there and he hoped I'd run into that idiot there!"

"Yeah, that sounds like him; look, Mama won't notice your hankie's gone as long as you don't bring attention to the fact that it is," she said wisely.

"I guess that makes sense, but still..." I put my head in my hands.

"You worry too much. That was nice of Raul to try to fix you up with your little cabin boy," she smiled serenely at me.

"Yeah, nice..." my voice dripped sarcasm, "Just like how it's going to be nice of me not to lob off his head."

"Did you and your little cabin boy get along?" she asked hopefully, why I didn't know.

I thought for a second, "He's not all that little...Kinda old to be a cabin boy too. Unless he's a horrible pirate."

Marie's mouth pulled down at the corners, "How old do you thing he is?"

I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about this, "I don't know, older than me... maybe around your age."

"That is kinda old to be a cabin boy, I don't know why but I was picturing a little guy; you know, short, skinny, 15-ish," she shrugged back at me.

I laughed, "He's not little, he's huge. I bet he's even bigger than Raul." I readjusted myself on the sofa and smoothed out my dress.

"Was he nice?" She asked.

I raised an eyebrow, "Well, he wasn't a totally asshole. But he's not what I'd call a gentleman either."

"Hum, well, he is a pirate and they aren't known for their manners. What do you mean when you say 'not a total asshole'?"

"Ah! The bastard made fun of me!" I said as if it was the worst possible thing that could be done to me.

"That's it?" Marie asked with an eyebrow raised totally disappointed.

"Well, yeah... He held my hankie up above my head and I jumped to grab it like and idiot and he laughed at me!" yeah, I guess that's not so bad, Raul's done worse. But Raul didn't give me butterflies in my stomach and sweaty palms.

"If he wanted to give you back the hankie why did you let him keep it?"

"He was going to give it back but decided he was gong to keep it 'for his trouble'," I rolled my eyes doing a bad impersonation of his deep, rough voice.

"Why is it the more I like him, the less I can stand him?" I accidentally asked out loud.

Marie laughed, "I think that's normal, maybe you just need to get to know him better. Wait, why did he want to keep it for his trouble?" She gave me a slight look, "did you do something?" she whispered, knowing my temper and slight lack of self control.

I looked down at me feet, "I kinda, might have... just a little." I shrugged, dismissing my little... episode as nothing.

"What did you do? He doesn't hate you does he?" She asked quietly, her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

I shrugged, "I don't think so, he kept laughing."

"So what did you do?" she said going right back to where I didn't want her to go.

"Okay, look here's the thing," I took a deep breath, "I thought he was Raul, they're both big and Raul was yelling at me from the back and I was ignoring him, so I thought he'd come out to force me to help him. Only it wasn't him, and I didn't realize until after I was done."

"Done?" She asked mortified, "Done doing what!?"

I sighed and looked at me feet as I confessed, "I beat him with my bag of candy," I whispered.

She sat there for a moment just staring at me, then she burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"Alright, that enough," I said after a good few minutes.

She was gasping for air, " I can see you doing that!"

I gave her a scathing look, "It's not funny! I was so embarrassed! I wanted to crawl under a rock and die! And here you are laughing!"

"I'm sorry, really I am! It's just so funny!" She started laughing again, harder than last time, as she was trying to calm herself down she let out a very unladylike snort. She slapped her hand to her mouth laughing even harder, tears leaking from her eyes.

I laughed at her snort, "You snorted!" I yelled pointing at her. We both dissolved into hysterics, marie grabbed my arms, "I snorted!" she said slightly shaking me.

"Okay, okay, stop! My sides hurt!" I said grasping myself around the middle.

Marie put her hands to her face, "Oh, it hurts! Oh, you should have warned me before you said anything," she rubbed her cheeks still chuckling.

"Ahhhh," I rubbed my aching sides, "You can't tell Mama about this, she'd be furious! She told me not to go near those pirates."

Marie gave me a sympathetic look, "Do you remember when she first meet Raul?"

I frowned, "No, not really."

"I guess you wouldn't, you were still a little girl when he showed up."

"What happened?" I asked very curious.

"She hated him!" She grinned, "She said he was uncouth, rude, had no manners and was nothing but a big brute and we didn't even know where he came from," she shook her head, "She told me I forbidden to be around him, she didn't even want me knowing his name."

"Wow," I said sarcastically, "That went just as she wanted didn't it?"

Marie giggle and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, she didn't want me anywhere near him and now I sleep in his bed."

I smiled, "Raul 17; Mama 2. For being kinda dumb, his tally is way more than hers is."

She smiled, "Well, I don't think he's as stupid as he pretends to be."

I thought back over the last few hours, "I think you're right. He's one crafty SOB."

"What did he look like?" She asked referring to the pirate.

"Raul?" I asked stupidly.

"No! The pirate!"

"Oh... well. Um," I thought for a second, "Well, he is very large, his hair is thick and black. His eyes are like coal, I've never seen such dark eyes before. His smile is broad and sharp, he has perfect, white teeth. He seemed to be really care-free. He laughs a lot too, he always seems happy." I shrugged as if something was wrong with a person who happened to be happy.

"He sounds attractive," Marie observed, "What did he sound like?"

I laughed, "Not like Raul, if that's what you're asking!" I thought for a second, "He has a deep voice, kinda loud, but not really offensive. I didn't feel like telling him to shut up... well I think I did, but not for that reason. He used big words! He didn't seem stupid or anything. I'm not sure why he wants to be a pirate in the first place. I bet he'd make a good businessman or something."

"Maybe you should ask him next time you see him. He seems really interesting. I wonder what his position on the ship is?" Marie brought her finger to her chin in thought.

"Position?" I asked.

"Yeah, pirates all have jobs on the ships they sail on. Some work in the galley, some work on the ship its self, fixing repairs and such. Some man the cannons, some work the sails. They also have rank within the ship too."

"Wow," I said surprised, "When did you become such an expert on pirates?"

She laughed, "Raul tells the kids stories, I listen in sometimes. He knows lots of stories about the navy too. He used to tell you the same tales he tells the girls, I'm surprised you don't remember them, you'd listen to them for hours."

"Really?" I asked, not remembering any of what she was talking about.

She smiled at me, "You used to tell me you loved the romance of them, the adventure and that you wanted to sail when you grew up," she laughed, "You wanted to be a marine!"

I gasped, "No shit? Wow, I don't remember at all!"

She shrugged, "I'm not surprised, you told Mama once and all hell broke loose. I thought she was going to tie you up in your room and not let you out till you were successfully married off. She said no daughter of hers was going to be sailing the seas like some ruffian." Marie shrugged, "She started putting you in frilly dresses and steering you away from anything she thought was too masculine. Raul made you a few wooden boats, cute little things, they even floated when you put them in water. She took them away the second she found them stuffed under the mattress of your bed," she shook her head sadly, "You cried for ages. You loved those little things so much."

"I wonder where Raul heard all those stories" I asked, trying to remember them myself.

She shrugged a perplexed look on her face, "I'm not sure, I've always thought he was a marine and decided to stay here after we met."

I laughed, "I can see him floating around, being chased by pirates. It kinda would explain a lot wouldn't it?"

She nodded. We both stood up, "Well, I'd better get home," I sighed, "Mama might think I was kidnapped if I don't get home soon."

Marie laughed, "Sure, well, thanks for stopping by," she smiled nudging me, "and if you see that pirate again, I'm the first person you're going to tell it about!"

I rolled my eyes, "You're the only person that will know about it."

I stopped, "Oh, and before I forget, Celeste and Bernadette are having some kind of fight, just in case you didn't know."

"I didn't, thanks... I'll keep an eye on them to make sure it doesn't get out of control."

We walked through the dinning room and I saw Raul rummaging through the fridge through the open doorway that led to the kitchen.

I frowned at him, "Hey, tattle tale! Don't think this is going to go unpunished! And you'd better not breathe a word of this to anyone!"

His laughed bounced off the walls of the kitchen, "It ain't none of me businesses, I jus' told Marie cause I figures ya wouldn't."

He walked toward us with a bottle in his hand, "No matters what your Mama be sayin', I thinks ya should goes fer it. Ya be hard pressed ta finds a man like thats aroun' here."

He patted my head and raised his bottle in a funny little salute, "Jus' sayin'."

Raul bent down and pecked Marie on the cheek. He gave me a wink and walked away with a triumphant grin on his face.

I shook my head, "That man's an enigma," I turned and gave my sister a hug, "I'll see you soon, love you Sissy."

"Love ya too," she squeezed my hand, "You know, I think Raul's right. If you really like this guy, don't let Mama or Daddy stop you. You've never been one to like the quiet, boring life. You should go find the adventure that you lost back then. You're much happier when you talk about him, even when you sound angry with him."

I sighed, "You think so?" I was so uncertain about everything.

She smiled, "You can't let them tell you how to be happy. Do what you feel like you should in your heart. Don't worry about anyone else."

I gave her a final hug on the porch and she waved to me as I walked down the steps.

I heard to door shut from behind me.

Celeste was still playing in the yard, her and that thing of hers were digging holes in the dirt, "What are you doing?"

She looked up happily, "We're digging for treasures! Wanna help us look?"

I sighed a little, sure her parents wouldn't be too happy with her digging up their grass, "Do your parents know you're doing this?"

"Yeah! Daddy's the one who buried the treasures! Look, Daddy gave me this treasure mat!" She waved a paper in front of me. It was written in Raul's scratchy hand writing and colored with crayons, I was surprised how accurate it was, even down to the placement of trees and the size of the house. What shocked me even more was that he didn't write like he talked, I could actually understand it!

It had her going all over the yard, three steps this way, turn ½ way so you face the ocean. Take 20 steps, ect. This thing had her going back and forth so many times, twisting and turning, I'm surprised she wasn't dizzy.

She leaned in closer to my waist, where I was holding the map.

"We're right here on the mat," She pointed to a spot in the yard.

I raised an eyebrow, I could tell from the distance to the house and all the landmarks around us, she was right, "It's called a map, sweetheart."

She smiled at me, "Map," she repeated, "we're gonna get the treasures!" she pointed to her hole in the ground.

She pulled me hand, "Help us Auntie! We'll find the treasures t'gether!"

I let myself be dragged to the hole and I helped her dig out the earth.

"Oh! I think I found it!" She squealed as she pushed dirt off the top of a little wooden box. I sat back truly wondering what was in the thing.

She pulled it out of the hole that about 15 inches deep. She set it in between us, "What do you think the treasures are?" She whispered to me, eyes wide and sparkling with anticipation. Small shovel discarded beside her.

I shrugged, "I don't know, you'll have to open it to find out."

She pulled a key out of her pocket and showed it to me.

"Where did you get that?" I asked, she responded by pulling another map out of her pocket.

"I found this one before!" She looked at the map in her hand and smiled at me. Gods, her father had sent her on one hell of a treasure hunt, hadn't he?

"Open it," I urged, wanting to know what he'd stuffed into that box.

She put the little key in the lock and turned it. She pulled the the lock off and opened the little metal flap that kept the box from opening when locked. She peeked inside, "It's a paper!" she happily declared as she showed it to me.

"It's not another map is it?" I asked wearily, not putting it past him to send his child all over town with this little game.

"No, it doesn't look like one," she said examining it, "There are words on it, but I can't read 'em."

"How did you read the other one?" I asked, pretty sure she couldn't read at all.

"I didn't, I jus' followed the arrows and counted the dots," she pointed to what she spoke about on the paper. It was pretty ingenious, all she had to do was go the direction the arrows pointed whether they were telling her to go forward for just spin on the spot she was standing and count the dots and take that many steps in the direction it told her to.

"Can you read it to me please, Auntie?" she asked holding out the paper to me.

I nodded taking it from her, "Well, lets see... :

What you wish to acquire isn't far

You just need to look under the star

When the star you have found

Just listen for a familiar sound

With help from the sound find something round

Until what you seek is found

Round and shiny is your prize

just open it and find a surprise"

I finished, I shrugged, "I have no idea what this means."

She frowned at me, "I think I do."

"Really?" I felt a little stupid, being outwitted by a 3 and a half year old.

"There's a star on Ber'dette's bed. Daddy put it there a long time ago, it pretty and sparkles," She huffed annoyed, "and the only thing in our room that makes sound is Bernie. Daddy wants me to have her help look for it in our room."

I smiled to myself, yep, he's one crafty SOB, "Are you going to ask her? You might not find it on your own."

"I have to, that's wha' it says to do! Daddy says I haffta do all tha' they say! Or I won't get the treasures." She hugged my goodbye and stomped off to find her sister, I was pretty sure she'd forget that she was angry when they started combing their room together.

I shook my head at Raul once again, there was no way in Hell that man was stupid. Every time I thought I had him figured out he did something to blow me away. My father never would have thought of anything like that.

I closed the fence gate behind me and stared back down the hill to the fork in the road.

I kept thinking of that pirate and what both Marie and Raul had told me. I can't believe they told me to just ignore what our parents wanted for me. I was at a stand still in my own mind.

Sure I wanted to be happy, but I wanted to please my folks too. If I stayed I'd more than likely be married to a man like Zane. Something I was not really looking forward to. He wasn't nearly as warm and friendly with his family as Raul was. He was like Papa, hardworking, serious, humorless and a bit boring. Raul had his moments of complete idiocy but I had fun with him and he loved my sister to pieces, if something happened to her I'm not sure if he'd be okay.

I wanted to be loved like that, so utterly and completely, not just be someone's wife, but their life. The more I thought about it the less sure I was that I'd find that love here.

I walked down the fork that led me home. So familiar, I could walk this path with my eyes closed and not so much as trip once.

I sighed to myself and my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of people arguing.

I stopped as I watched two kids fighting with one another, I decided to listen just to stall. I still had no desire to return home.

"Stupid!" he shoved the other.

"No, you're stupid! Only someone dumb would think yellow apples are better than red ones!"

"You just have no taste!" Said the one with the purple beanie over his bright blue hair as he shoved his companion once more.

"Psh, me have no taste!? You're the one who'll shovel just about anything into that gaping hole you call a mouth!" Said the other, who had a funny straw hat over his shock of bright red hair.

They were funny little kids, maybe about 10 or 11, they kept pushing and shoving eachother as they argued about apples.

"Well, at least I don't have a stupid looking nose!" the straw-hat kid said, pointing to first the other kids nose then his own.

"What!? How dare you say things about my nose! I'll strangle you!" The blue-haired kid screamed with fury.

Wow, that kid did have one hell of a nose. How did he breathe with that thing? How did I miss that!? It's just so there.

The kid with the straw hat laughed, "I'd love to see you try, Buggy! You'd probably get top heavy and fall flat on your face! I wonder if you did, if your nose would make a honking sound!?" He continued to laugh as the child dubbed 'Buggy' ran at him with a knife in his hands.

My eyes widened, okay, not fun anymore. I ran to the kids and pushed them apart, "What the hell are you two doing!? Are you trying to kill each other?" I pointed to the knife, "Put that thing away!"

Buggy put it back in it's hidden place, "Of course I'm trying to kill him! What do you care anyways?" the kid kicked a rock with his toe.

I stopped, "Well, I guess I don't really care. But this isn't the place for this sort of thing."

The kid with the straw hat smiled at me, "It's cool, Ol' Man Rayleigh said to meet him in the tavern, we're on our way there now." He said as if he hadn't just been charged at with a sharp, dangerous weapon.

I just hummed a response, "Well, alright... just don't get into trouble! People aren't very happy you're here. You don't want to make an even worse impression than they already have of you."

The red haired kid laughed, "We're pirates, what do we care what others think of us?"

I just nodded, the kid had a point, he smiled again, "I'm Shanks, Red Nose here's Buggy."

Buggy balled his fists and looked like he was about to choke his friend... if they were friends, which I was kinda sure they weren't.

"I'm Rouge, maybe you should stop calling him names?" I suggested.

The kid laughed, did they all laugh so much?

"Where's the fun in that?" Shanks motioned to Buggy to come along, "Well, we'd better go, Rayleigh can get pretty pissed if we dawdle."

Buggy followed the other child up the path to town, about 10 seconds after they left I could hear them arguing about something else. I couldn't really tell what, there was just a lot of name calling and smacking back and forth.

I shook my head and sighed, just watching them exhausted me, I wondered how their crew put up with it.

I walked up the steps and opened the front door, hoping Fleur wasn't around to see my bag of sweets and inquire as to what they were.

I sneaked upstairs to my room and hid my candy before anyone was the wiser.

It had been one long, strange day.

….....

End of chapter 4! Yay Shanks and Buggy! Since my story's gonna cover several years I thought I'd make them younger too! I wish I knew more about Gold rogers crew, but alas I don't. Lol. This was a fun chapter! I loved writing it. I love Raul with his kids! He's an awesome Daddy! Thanks for reading please review and thanks to the people that reviewed my last chapter!

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yay! Thanks so much! And don't forget to review! They make me happy and keep me writing faster!