Hello all! God I know it's been along time. But here I am with the latest chapter of my Rouge story. I had this almost done when I killed my comp and we had my hard drive and I was going to pull it off so I could finish it but that didn't go as planned, so I finally decided to just rewrite the whole bloody thing.

And we should all say hello to my new comp I've named it Tsubaki! My last one was Ginkishi. But I killed poor Ginkishi. I had to wait like 3 months to get a new one. So I'm happy, kinda... it's a netbook and they are tiny and kinda stripped down. But I can write so who cares!! and now on to chapter 5 of this bitch! Oh, and I want to thank all the people that have encouraged me to continue this little piece of crap story, I totally would have abandoned it if not for you hounding me to finish!

DISCLAIMER: Don't own OP don't make money off this crap story, just write it for fun, get off my back!

A Life Without Regret, a Love Without Fear

By: Shironami

I was glad when day finally broke and Mama started yelling at us from downstairs to get up and moving. I had slept badly, I tossed and turned all night and when I finally slept I had weird dreams.

I tossed my clothes on and ran downstairs to get breakfast. It had dawned a beautiful day and my sisters and their families would be here soon.

The new boat Papa and the boys had started last year was almost finished and we were going to start making the sails for it today. It would be a few more weeks before the boat was done but Mama said she wanted to finish as soon as possible.

We sat around the table eating breakfast while Papa and Mama talked about how big the sail should be and other such details I totally tuned out.

After we finished eating we pulled out all the looms and everything we would need to create the main sail that would give the boat the power it would need to pull forward.

About the time everything was set up my sisters and their mini armies arrived. Papa and my bothers went out to the stretch of beach they had chosen to build the boat on and told us they'd see us later.

Mama and Blanche sat next to each other and talked about things mothers and daughters talk about, with Blanche's oldest daughter between them, helping whenever they asked.

Fleur, Marie and myself were huddled in a loose half-circle each working our own loom. We talked about the usual just to pass the time.

I huffed angrily as I noticed I'd messed up my work about three rows down. I shook my head as I un-wove my work to the point were I'd picked up two of the weft threads with my shuttle instead of just the one. I started moving my shuttle faster as I got into my rhythm again. It was slightly boring and repetitive work; slip the shuttle under the weft, then over, then under, then over, until you were at the end of the row. Then you beat the weft into place and start over again.

It took the better part of ten minutes but I finally was back to where I started, I looked over at Marie and was shocked (okay, maybe not totally shocked) to see she had added like 7 inches of finished work to her loom. I had never seen anyone that was as good at weaving as Marie was. Her hands moved with fluid grace as she continued unabated.

I could only imagine how easy this was for her, she was used to making fine tapestries and elaborate patterns. Just a plain white piece of canvas must have been a breeze for her. I was the worst out of all us girls, I couldn't weave to save my life. Just in the last few years had I been able to make something that wasn't completely horrible. But I still had a habit of pulling the shuttle too tight or not tight enough and having my work look all lopsided, or working too many warp threads at a time. Something I never heard the end of, my sisters loved making fun of my awful weaving... and I couldn't really blame them.

But we all had the things we were good at and the things we weren't. Fleur was a great cook, she could make just about anything. Some of her baking was better than Mama's, not that I was ever going to tell Mama that. Blanche could sing so beautifully and her crocheted work was better than anyone else on the island; and I was pretty good at sewing, I could fix almost anything so it didn't look repaired and create anything I could think up in my mind.

For the dozenth time that day I found my mind drifting toward that man again, I could feel his hankie burning a hole in my pocket. Of course I knew it wasn't on fire but I felt it was screaming at me so loudly I was sure my mother would turn and ask what the ruckus was all about.

Despite how hard I tried not to, I found my hand slipping into my apron pocket and feeling the silky fabric. It reminded me of soft, flowing water. It was the color of water too. It looked so expensive to me, but maybe that was just my county bumpkin background thinking.

I heaved a giant sigh and continued my work, not really paying attention to what my sisters were saying just nodding my head when it seemed like I should.

Bernadette walked up to her mother, "Mom, what are you doing?"

Marie smiled, "We're making sails for the ship Grandpapa's making. It won't go anywhere without sails."

Bernadette leaned in closer, "How do you do it?"

"Come here," Marie pulled the child onto her lap, "like this."

She demonstrated how to weave and how to work the shuttle and beater. After a few minutes Bernadette was working the loom all on her own.

Fleur laughed, "Wow, she really caught on to that pretty fast didn't she!"

I shrugged, "Well, look at who her mother is. I'd been surprised if she didn't pick it up."

Raul happened to walk by with an impossibly large plank of wood over his shoulder.

"Honey, would you get the spare loom out for Bernadette?" Marie asked her husband, though it sounded more like a request.

He smiled and nodded, "Sure." He waved to Bernadette to tell her to come with him.

They toddled out of sight as I watched them go, "So," I asked Marie, "how long before she gets bored of this and moves on to the next big thing?"

Marie smiled, "Oh, I'm not so sure she will get bored of it, I mean once I teach her how to do patterns and other more advanced stuff. With all the things that can be done she might actually love it enough to do it all the time just for fun!" She shrugged, "remember how much I hated it at first, now it's one of my favorite things to do!"

Fleur smiled sweetly, "Well, you always did like boring things."

I laughed with Fleur as Marie tried vainly to defend herself.

Our laughter had died down by the time Raul and Bernie got back. He had lost the plank sometime between then and now, I had half a mind to ask him where he put it, knowing Mama wouldn't want some stray piece of wood laying around somewhere. But shrugged it off not really caring enough to make any effort to materialize my thoughts.

Raul set the loom up in between Marie and Fleur, they had a little more space between them than her and I. Even though she was learning we didn't want her to get in the way of our work.

It was no time at all before Bernie had a good seven or eight inches of work done, it was quality work too, not like what usually became of my loom-work. I'm not ashamed to say I was a little jealous of a seven-year-old. Her work was so much better than mine, I was ready to tell her to take over my loom and I'd go take the rest of the day off.

We continued chatting and working, Bernie sometimes adding in her two cents, she was feeling very grown-up at the moment, sitting with us working and talking about adult things as the young children played around us.

The sun was already high in the sky and we were starting to get hungry, Mama and Fleur stopped working and went inside to fix something to eat.

The boys decided to take a small break too, our work might have been tedious but theirs was laborious. They were drenched in sweat and looked tired.

Papa and Zane went inside for something to drink; not surprisingly, Raul was chasing around the kids as they ran and screamed excitedly. I really think he's a little kid stuck inside a grown man's body.

Marie got up and rushed to Nolan, who was crying and holding his bleeding elbow, that kid always seemed to be hurting himself.

I found myself alone and sighed a little, much to my dismay my mind started drifting off again, I'd sat here for so many years my hands were trained to work without my brain bothering to tell them what to do.

I smiled happily, coming out of my reverie as my Uncle sat beside me, "Hey, haven't seen you in a while! Where you been?"

I laughed and threw my arms around him, giving him a tight hug, "Me!? Where have you been!? I haven't seen you since before you all set out last time!"

He shrugged sheepishly, "I caught a cold on the ship, when we got home I went back to my house and been trying to get better. You know, you could have come and said hi to me... or did you totally forget that I existed?" He teased.

"Of course not! You're my very favorite uncle," I nodded solemnly.

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah? Well, as far as I can remember, I'm your only uncle."

I batted my eyelashes a little, "That's why you're my favorite."

He rolled his eyes again, clearly not buying it, "If ya say so." He patted my head and walked toward the house, probably seeking out my parents.

Uncle was one of my favorite people, he reminded me a little of Raul, only he could be much more serious. He was my father's little brother, as of yet he hadn't married or had kids. I remember Mama saying once that he had been in love with Mrs. Valhurst, but she had rejected him and married the man who would eventually became the island mayor instead. Mama said he never got over her and has lived as a bachelor ever since.

I always thought she was crazy to reject him, he was nice and smart and would have made a good husband and father. I remember once when we were younger, Donnie and I tried to set him up with Donnie's auntie who was also never married. It would have been a wonderful marriage, at least we thought so... too bad they didn't. Ever since then I've stayed out of his love-life... Mama said she'd hang me if I didn't.

I looked over to see Marie walking back inside the house holding Nolan who was still crying and bleeding.

Most of the kids followed her, concerned about their brother and cousin.

I sighed to myself, I was now all alone with my thoughts again, I hadn't realized I'd pulled the hankie out of my pocket and was holding it in my hands. I stuffed it back to where it belonged as fast as I could. Hoping I hadn't had it out for too long.

I figured what the hell and got up to follow Marie when someone calling out my name distracted me.

My eyes followed the path down to the gate that ran along the border of our property, "Donnie!" I yelled out to him happily, "what are you doing?" I waved excitedly at him.

He grinned and hopped the low white fence, running to meet my half way, his hair flying behind him, "Ro! Wow, it's been a while, what are you doing?"

I waved my arm over the scattered looms and piles of finished canvas, "What does it look like?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh," he nodded with his hand cupping his chin, "yes, I see... your favorite thing in the whole wide world," he started to look around, for what I didn't know.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Sure, I love this more than life it self. If I died behind a loom I'd have lived a full and perfect life," I returned his sarcasm full force.

"Okay, I can't tell which ones are yours," he pointed to the piles scattered around, "normally it's so easy cause they're the ones that look like a blind two-year-old did them."

I was about to get pissed off and give him a sound, well deserved smack, but thought he was right and it was a waste of my energy anyway.

I sighed, "I know, right," I shrugged, "I haven't finished a block of canvas yet," I confessed.

He grinned at me, a playful look in his sky blue eyes, "Well, that's for the best. We wouldn't want the whole sail falling apart now would we?"

I glared a bit, "I'm not that bad!"

"Keep telling yourself that," he smiled at me again, then started walking toward the house, "your mama let you out and about yet? Mami said she saw you and Raul yesterday. Wanna do something? I have to pick some cherries for Mami wanna come?" He pushed his long, auburn bangs out of his face and pulled his hair into a ponytail high on the back of his head.

"Ooh, I would so love to! But I'm not sure what Mama will say. I had to beg her to let me go with Raul."

He was still playing with his long, thick, loose curls, trying to get them in the ponytail all at once, I giggled when he again missed and he had a long, stray lock of hair that was hanging from the back of his head, "Crap, I should just chop it all off," he tried once more and finally got it, "well, tell her you'll bring some back for her."

"Hmm, that's a great idea, I can bribe her with food!" I clapped happily.

We walked to the kitchen, Donnie waving and saying greetings to everyone. Mama was at the stove stirring a pot of whatever and Blanche was at the sink washing carrots.

Mama turned and saw Donnie, "Hello dear, how have you been? It's been so long since you stopped by. What brings you here today?" she asked sweetly.

I grinned, Mama was always charmed by Donnie, and we both knew it. She thought he was the greatest kid she'd ever met. I was sure she was hoping he and I would end up married, I wasn't going to pop her happy dream bubble by telling her he was gay. If she couldn't tell by herself, well... it was just too obvious. Half the time Donnie looked better than I did, he dressed better and was far more concerned with what he looked like than I ever was. He always said every gay guy needed a Butch best friend... He had me assume that role, gay or not, much to my dismay. It didn't really matter how often I told him I wasn't lesbian, he thought I was just in denial or something.

"Well, Mrs Portgas, my mother has sent me to go get some cherries from the orchards, I just wanted to know if Rouge could go with me?" He asked politely, turning his charm up to the max.

Mama giggled and waved her big wooden spoon at him, "Of course she can! If it's with you I just don't see a problem. Just promise to stay out of trouble and stay away from those awful pirates!"

I smiled at Donnie, man he could read my mother like a book sometimes, "We'll be very careful, I promise," he gave her a wink and a charming smile.

She giggled again, "Be sure to bring me back some, I've been needing to make jam for a while now. And a fresh cherry pie sounds wonderful."

We thanked her and waved goodbye, running out of the house full force before she changed her mind.

I stopped and grabbed my collecting baskets on the way out.

It was no time before we were on our way to the orchards, I'd never felt so free in my life! I was happily skipping down the cobblestone road with Donnie beside me as we laughed and joked.

We stopped at the old worn out fence and entered the cherry orchard. Cherries were my favorite fruit, we looked around to see if there were any that weren't too picked through. I pointed to the east.

"How about over there? They still look nice and full," I started walking in the direction of the trees, Enjoying the smell of summer and cherries. It was a nice peaceful afternoon, the birds were high in the sky or sitting in trees singing to each other.

Donnie followed smiling and doing bird calls to confuse the poor creatures.

I dropped my basket to the ground and climbed up the nearest tree.

I perched myself on a high branch that was heavy with fruit. I picked what I could reach and dropped them into a bowl I'd made with my apron, when it was all full I'd carefully drop them down to Donnie who caught them in the collecting baskets.

We continued to talk about nothing as the afternoon wore on, it was wonderful just being outside, doing something I loved without anybody around to babysit me or judge my actions.

I put a few more cherries in my apron and popped a couple in my mouth, Donnie had decided I was being too slow and sat down beside his baskets and pulled out a few sandwiches. He ate and I started dropping cherries one by one into his basket that was sitting on the ground.

"Oi! Be careful! You're gonna bruise them all doing that," He pointed at me accusingly.

I rolled my eyes, "It's only like 3 feet more than where you were holding it up anyway! They'll be fine, stop nitpicking."

He started complaining again and I spit out a few cherry seeds at him to shut him up, I was very pleased when they hit him square in the face, one bounced off his cheek and the other off his nose. I giggled at the little slobbery stains they left behind.

He didn't find this as amusing as I did and tossed one of his sandwiches at me.

I laughed when it hit me on the forehead, splattering mustard across my forehead. I peeled the saturated piece of bread off my face and tossed it back at him, "No thanks, I'm not hungry!"

I frowned as a small stump of branch began to dig into my rear end, I shifted my weight and moved to get the offensive thing off my ass. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the hem of my dress pulling as I tried to get up from the crouched position I was in. I cursed out loud as I felt myself falling backward, my stupid dress still caught on the heel of my shoe.

I tried vainly to catch myself, but before I knew it, I was in a very unflattering heap on the ground, Donnie had dropped his sandwich and was rushing to me, "RO! Ohmigod! Are you okay!?" I could tell that he was stifling giggles, that little bastard.

I unrolled my self and smoothed out the front of my dress, "Yes, I'm fine. So you can laugh to your little hearts content... no need to feel guilty about it now that you know I'm alright, right?" I said with a little more snoot than I really meant.

It took about 3.5 seconds before he was practically rolling on the ground with laughter, "You should have seen it! The way you flipped like that! It was pretty awesome, who knew the human body could bend like that. You should be lucky you didn't land on your face."

He walked behind me and pulled the bottom of my skirt down, "Whoa, you're getting a little indecent there," he was still chuckling to himself, "Does your mama know you wear those things? They're a little racy," he tutted at me, "I don't think she'd approve."

I rolled my eyes at him, "They're just panties, and they're not as provocative as you make them sound."

"Yes," he countered at me, "But does she know you wear them?"

"My underwear is not my mother's concern, and it's certainly not yours either. Or are you just jealous that they look better on me than on you?"

He rolled his eyes at me, "Oh, yeah... I'm so jealous," he clasped his hands in front of him and swayed back and forth, "Oh, why can't I wear a cute little pair of red panties?" he squeaked out, trying to mimic my voice.

"Che, maybe cause everyone will think you're a freak."

We turned to see where the voice was coming from. Donnie exhaled loudly and turned back away from the voice as its owner came closer.

I sighed quietly and rolled my eyes, not in the mood to deal with this.

I tried very had to put on a genuine smile, "Charlene! Wow, it's great to see you again," I was going to be nice to her, even if it killed me.

A few years back she had been one of my best friends, back when she was gangly and pimply. Once she started to get really pretty she began to hang out with another group of kids; kids who didn't like Donnie or I. She starting hanging out with us less and less and with them more and more, until she was completely one of them.

Before we knew it she was making fun of us and treating a lot of the other kids like crap too.

The old Charlene was gone, and in her place was a beautiful young woman who unfortunately was not as beautiful on the inside as the out.

She tossed her glossy raven locks over her shoulder, "So, Rouge... Still wearing your sister's old handmedowns. That's too bad, maybe in another 20 years they'll be fashionable again."

I rolled my eyes, like I care, "Yeah, lets hope that."

Donnie scoffed, "You know, not every body's mother remarries a wealthy merchant. In fact, if yours hadn't you'd still be in handmedowns too."

She glared at him, "Oh, you're so funny."

He smiled back, "I know," he said tossing his ponytail over his shoulder, mimicking her.

"You are and always will be just a looser."

He shrugged, "And you're a whore. Why not go find some pirates, they haven't had the company of a... I guess I could call you a woman... right? Or would 'fire breathing hag' be more realistic? Anyway, they haven't had the company of what ever you are in quite some time," he laughed, "they might even pay you for your services!"

Charlene looked livid, her coffee colored eyes flashed with anger and hate, "They'd probably pay you more!"

"Honey, they couldn't afford me," he said with a smile.

I just sighed and shook my head, once upon a time they had been as close as siblings and wouldn't have let anyone talk to the other as they were speaking to each other now. It made me sad and nostalgic, thinking of how we used to be and how we are now.

I missed Charlene, she was the one I told all my girlish fantasies to as a child, the one I giggled with in the dark, under sheets we fashioned into a fort during sleepovers. The one I went to when I had problems and secrets. I can't understand how we've come to this point. I wish I could go back in time and fix whatever went wrong.

I sighed again as they continued to fight, "Donnie, can we stop this now, please?"

He turned to me with an eyebrow raised.

"You should listen to your girlfriend," Charlene said, her voice oozing malice.

Donnie shrugged, "I couldn't care less about hurting her feelings," he told me, "but if you want to sure."

He looked at the sky, "I've gotta be getting back anyway. It's nearly suppertime I'd wager."

He picked up his basket full of cherries, "I'll talk to you later, alright?" he asked me.

I nodded, "Sure."

"Good bye, Whore!" He smiled and waved at Charlene, "Have a wonderful time tonight, selling your wares to unwashed pirates!"

She glared at him and started walking off in the opposite direction. It felt strange, standing there watching two of my oldest friends walk away from me and each other, knowing how much hatred was between the two.

I stared at my half empty basket, forlorn and melancholy. My uplifted mood had vaporized like mist warmed by the rising sun.

I couldn't let myself go back home without the fruit I'd promised so I decided it'd be best to finish filling my basket before returning.

Not wanting to be in that area anymore, I decided to go south and find more trees.

After another half hour my basket was almost to the top, Just one more tree should do it, then I can get the hell out of here.

I picked a tree off to my left that looked sturdy enough to hold me, I didn't want to fall again, even though I knew the tree really didn't have much to do with me falling.

I set my basket down and gazed up into the tree trying to plan my route up into its branches. As I searched my gaze landed on a woman.

I frowned, Why is she up there? I looked her over wondering if she was alive or not. She was very large and had on a bright yellow sundress with little orange flowers on it, a long purple scarf that was decorated in a swirly pattern, a huge green floppy hat with ribbon around it and heavy boots. She looked like she had dressed in the dark.

I began to wonder if she was one of the Nelson girls, they were very stout ladies. Their father was the local blacksmith, he and his wife had no sons so they began to let their daughters work in the forge. They actually did very good work. No one dared to mock any of the Nelson girls, they were as fierce as they were strong. Over the years they had become very well-thought-of, not only as blacksmiths but as very respectable young women.

I had half a mind to wake her up, but at the same time I didn't really want to disturb her. Maybe she was getting away from the family, as I was and wanted privacy. Or she lost track of time and was late, as I was.

I pulled myself up into the tree, seeking out the branch she was sleeping on. As I got closer I could hear her lightly snoring. I chuckled to myself, not very ladylike. But something told me this girl wasn't very ladylike anyway.

I stood on the branch below hers and straightened out enough to give her a little shake. She didn't even move. I frowned, if she hadn't been snoring I'd be scared she was dead. I shook her a bit harder, "Oi! Wake up, it's kinda late. Well past Suppertime, your mother and father will be wondering where you are."

I gave her another little shake and gasped, stunned when she rolled off the tree and went plummeting to the ground on the side opposite to me.

"! I killed her!" I jumped to the ground from the branch I was on ran stumbling to the other side of the tree where the girl had landed. Hoping she'd be alright.

I dropped down beside her just as she was pulling herself up. I sighed, relieved that she seemed to be unharmed.

"Are you alright? Do you need a doctor!? Are you dead? No, of course you're not dead, that was a stupid question, I-"

I frowned as she started laugh, a loud, boisterous laugh.

I started aghast, "You're a man?"

He unrolled himself and got up, pushing his ghastly dress down and straightening his hat, "You know any lass as big as I am!?" He continued to laugh, his back turned to me.

"Well, actually I do..." why the hell is this idiot dressed up like that!?

"No way!," he retied his scarf around his neck.

"Yeah," I replied slowly. Wait a minute... oh hell no!

I was almost sure I knew who this idiot was, and this was totally just my luck.

He turned around, "Why did you wake me – it's you!" He laughed as he pointed at me.

"I was about to say the same thing..." I answered disillusioned. My god, it is him... well, now I've got two faeries in my life... how wonderful for me.

He caught the look I was giving him and grinned, "Aren't I pretty?"

"Honestly?" I asked, if he wanted honest I was going to give it to him.

He started laughing again, "Sure!"

I sighed, "The dress is hideous, and everything you put on clashes. So no, I'd have to say it's not very pretty. In fact, it's borderline ugly."

He paused for a moment and looked down at himself, "You're right!" and started laughing again, he waggled a finger at me, "not many would be so upfront with me! Most would lie!"

I rolled my eyes, "Well, I guess there's the fact that you tired. So that kind of counts for something."

"Tried? Tried what?"

"To look... nice?" I shrugged, he looked so ridiculous, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Nice...BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not trying to look nice! I lost a bet with some of my shipmates!"

"A bet? Really, a bet? Why would you agree to a bet that would have you in a dress, looking like a fool?"

"Because I thought I'd win, Obviously." he stated it like anyone would have the same sound logic.

"Obviously," I echoed dumbfounded, well if anything this guy's full of surprises, "So how long do you have to dress like that?"

"Oh, I don't know..." he shrugged.

"You don't know!? How could you not know?"

"I didn't care at the time cause I thought I'd win!" He laughed again, "I will next time!"

I just shook my head at him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Picking cherries," I pointed to the basket on the ground.

"I'll help, and then I can walk you home. It's getting dark, and there's lots of unsavory characters about! Pirates even, and you know who bad a lot they are!" He chuckled to himself.

I sighed, Oh yes, my mother would just love this, "Sure, why the fuck not?"

I was already late, she was going to yell... why not give her a proper reason?

Okay kids! This is the end of this chapter! It took WAAAY longer than I'd hoped but there it is! Hope you liked it, review and tell me! I'm going to bed now. toodles