A/N: This vignette is based on "Ladies' Choice" from Hairspray.
Draco was pleased to find himself standing when he regained consciousness, or rather reacquainted himself with being awake. He looked down himself and found that he had been returned to his pristine Slytherin uniform. He was wrinkle-free and lint-free, an almost astounding state of affairs considering the amount of floor time he had been accruing. He ran a hand through his hair with the intention of perfecting the strands' arrangement, but found it slicked back and sprayed. One curl was styled against the pale (flawless) skin of his forehead.
His foot was tapping of its own accord. The urge to sing was rising like bile in his throat. Oh, no. Not again… at least I look good this time. He spun around smoothly. Two groups of adoring fans clustered on a dance floor, one wearing the smart silver and green of Slytherin and one dressed in the drab Gryffindor maroon and 'gold.' Though properly color-coordinated, the adorers were clad in tacky patterns and pathetically outdated styles. His hips were shaking in a steady rhythm, reminiscent of something familiar.
Hey, little girl with the cash to burn. His voice rang with a pretty-boy quality with which he was not all-together comfortable, or all-together uncomfortable. The girls in the audience seemed to enjoy this. Both fan-groups kept up a steady set of dance moves. Their ability to synchronize would have impressed most Wizards, but a Malfoy has higher standards. Always one to be admired, Draco continued. Well, I got something you won't return. He subtly looked around for this show-stopping product. He came up empty. Basking in the glow of adoration, he decided not to employ his extraordinary brain-power in the search of such petty information. Hey, little girl, take me off the shelf. The shrieking increased. The implications were not lost on our vocalist. Damn right, you won't return me, Draco thought smugly. 'Cuz it's hard having fun playing with yourself. Once you've browsed through the whole selection, shake those hips in my direction. The Muggle sound-amplifying thing was getting some provocative Draco-dancing. No one in his audience seemed to find this the least bit disturbing or unpleasant.
Draco mentally congratulated himself for being drop-dead-sexy enough to sing this song without appearing silly. How dreadful would it be if a complete dud sang this song? Like Longbottom or Scar Head. Yes, not only am I a better Wizard, I am also better looking and a better singing sensation. A prettier package, you never did see. Take me home, and then unwrap me. With the assuredness of a man who always knows, and gets, what he wants, Draco dropped the robe from his shoulders. The material cascaded down him, much to the delight of his fans. In a testament to his superior Malfoy undressing skills, the garment pooled an un-trippable distance from his feet. Shop around, but little darling I've got to be, The Ladies' Choice. Who are you kidding, Muggle music? I'm everyone's choice.
Hey, little girl looking for a sale. Test drive- A chorus of screaming overwhelmed his voice. The sexual frustration of those attentive women was practically palpable. Then, again, anyone who dresses like that certainly isn't getting any. -male. It's gonna take cash to fill my tank. So let's crack open your piggy bank. At this point in the number, Draco began having some qualms about the content of this tribute to himself. He found that he was rather offended by the presumption that his (perfect) body could be bought by people who hopefully dress themselves in the dark and have no mirrors. Hey, little girl going window shopping, I've got something traffic stopping. He contemplated his potential for stopping traffic and concluded that such an outcome was highly likely, despite the whore-ish slight on his impeccable character. His lips continued the song with fading brain-power. Hey, little girl on he swayed indelicately, or, loosely, a spending spree. I don't The stage came up to greet him come cheap, but the kisses and he once again welcomed his friend sleep.