Nowhere Man

-By Yo-yo

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

I'm so tired:

Why do girls fall for their best friends?

Is it a compromise? Do they give up looking for someone and turn towards the boy closest to them?

"Bonjour Mademoiselles."

It's a stupid idea. Falling in love with your best is too comfortable, too familiar. Isn't there supposed to be a level of excitement that makes love more fascinating? Isn't one of the greatest events in falling in love learning about one another? Where is the new excitement that one when falling for someone they already know?

"It's afternoon, it's bonsoir."

"Well, thank you."

Paris and I have known each other forever. On the first day of pre-school I stole her green crayon.

I've seen her naked. I'm made her cry. I've thrown her goldfish out the window to see if it could swim in the air- we're practically related.

"Whatever, what do you want?"

"Me, want anything? I'm appalled. All I wanted to do was spend some time with the most beautiful creatures here in Chilton, and Paris here accuses me of an ulterior motive!"

"What do you want?" Lane deadpans.

"I just wanted to know who is this angel you've been escorting around our humble halls?"

"Tristan DuGrey, this is Rory Gilmore. Rory this is the king of Chilton himself, Tristan."

I am a jerk. I know it and yet I can't stop myself. Before she can react, I take her hand. Just before I can kiss it, she pulls away.

That's never happened before. Every girl I've ever met would have giggled. They would have let me kiss their hand, then their collarbone, their neck and finally their lips. They would have given themselves over to me. In a week, I won't even nod towards them in the halls.

But she pulls her hand away.

"Can you please not flirt with every girl in a skirt?" Paris makes herself known.

About a year ago Paris fell for me. She thinks I don't know.

I don't know why she picked me. She knows I'm an ass. Maybe she thinks she can change me, tame the wild beast within?

Why do girls always think they can change us? What is so wrong with men? We don't sugarcoat shit. If we don't like someone we don't talk to them; or at least we make it known. So what's so horrible about being male? Because we're so blunt and don't dance around things we must be changed?

Now that I know she has a thing for me I can't help being an asshole. I try not to, I really do, but I can't help it.

I lean over and curl her hair around my finger. I bring her face close to mine. I feel her breath on my lips. I lower my eyelids, I whisper:

"I don't flirt with you and you wear a skirt ... jealous?"

I am a dick!

When her face flushes, I knew I deserved a kick to my crotch. She doesn't deserve that.

"No, I'm not jealous. It's just that your tired lines make me want to become bulimic!"

"Maybe you should, I hear eating disorders were in?"

Damnit, stop DuGrey.

"Get a life, Tristan." She leaves.

"I am, Paris, I am."

Biggest jerk in the world, tattooed on my forehead.

I turn back to Gilmore to gauge her reaction and she is scowling at me, actually scowling at me. Only Paris, and sometimes Lane- but no one ever scowls at me.

Toothbrush in hand I exit the bathroom stall wiping my mouth with the back of the other.

"...In the bathroom again, brushing his teeth." Jase laughed, loosening his tie.

"If I paid half enough attention in Greek Myths as I pay fucking Heather Victori in the janitor's closet, I'd say you have a Narcissist complex." Austin grins.

"Yeah, you probably wouldn't be having to treat all those cold sores, either," I mumble to which Jase laughs.

"What, Mister Hygiene speaks? Maybe you should be dispensing your knowledge of mouth safety to some of the girls at this school. Maybe you should hold an assembly and teach them where to put theirs."

"I know Heather wouldn't mind demonstrating!"

"Uh, can you guys just shut up?" I shout, quieting their snickering. "I'm trying to brush my teeth."

"God," Jeremy rolls his eyes, "you're so sensitive. Sometimes I can't tell you from a common cunt."

"Shut up man," Jason frowns, "Don't be so fucking vulgar. Maybe if you weren't you'd get laid!"

"Hey, I'll have you know that just yesterday-"

"Can you please leave?" I return to my task.

I don't remember how those three became part of our group, but in know it happened here. Jason and I would have never hung out with them at Chilton El.

I'm making my way towards the school and she catches my eye.

She is hugging a woman I suspect is her mom. Their hair is different, but ... they look happy.

A tear falls as she pulls her mother tighter and whispers something in her ear. Her mother kisses her hair. She is lost within the hug, within herself.

I've never been lost inside someone (literally or figuratively).

It's at that moment I can truly see the Mary inside of her.

They hold each other until her face turns green and she pulls away.

I think she wants to vomit. I want to know why.

At that moment a scream pierces the air. I turn my head and there is Paris. She is on the ground with puzzle pieces all around her. Her face is red and she looks frustrated.

She fell on the ice.

She scrambles around grabbing the pieces and pushing away tears.

"Paris are you-?"

She screams again, pushing my hands away.

"What, am I okay? When did you ever care if was okay or not?"

"What are you talking about, I always care-"

"You don't care, nobody cares. That's what wrong with this place, nobody cares. Everyone's just out for their own good."

"Paris, what are you talking about?"

"I'm so tired," she pushed a tear away. "I'm so tired. I do so much and get nothing back. I try so hard-"

"You don't have to try so hard, Paris. You're smart. Everyone know that, you don't have to-"

"What, I don't have to be the best at everything? You think I don't know that? You think this is fun for me? Well guess what DuGrey, people don't smile when I enter a room. People don't give me late passes. People don't ask for my opinions in class. People don't gossip about me in the lavatories. Boys don't wink at me in the halls. No one picks me up from school and presses kisses to my head. People don't pay attention to me. And I'm so tired of being responsible ... so tired of being forgotten."

"What brought this on?"

She sighs deeply, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"...She just walks in here and everyone is enamored in all that is her. She ruined everything."

"What happened?"

"Just..."

She shakes her head and stands up. Without looking at me she pulls on her backpack and walks away. She doesn't look back to see me sitting on the ground. She doesn't look back to even asses the broken puzzle at my feet.

Paris out of her element is a Paris I have but rarely seen. Although she is an enigma, there is still one part of her I do understand:

I'm so tired, too.

TBC...