Perfectly Imperfect 3

Disclaimer – I don't own south park cause if I did my god would it be epic...anyway matt and trey just letting you know that this definitely isn't making me any money -_- if only...anyway dont sue me pls k thanks

AN~ O-o whats this? an update that didn't take 6-8 months? O_O what am I on...anywayyyyyy enjoy and get them review in even if its anonymous

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DIDNT KNOW I REPLACED THE AN WITH AN ACTUAL CHAP SO GO READ!

~ Kenny's House

"You want me to do what?" Kenny said deadpan staring at me.

"I want you to do your thing to Wendy." I told him smiling, I was sure this would work.

"Why?" He asked raising one eyebrow and crossing his arms. "Not that I wouldn't mind adding her to the list I just always figured she was off limits."

"List?" I said, it was my turn now to raise an eye brow. "What list?"

"What you don't have a list?" He looked at me like I had 3 heads.

"A list of what Kenny?" I annoyed that he'd avoided the question. He just sighed and walked across the room to a poster he had hanging on his wall and flipped it over.

"That list." He said gesturing to it. I walked up to it and began to read what was on it. It was a list of names, girls mostly but some guys, almost everyone in our grade and some who were above and below.

"Kenny...this isn't a list of what I think it is, is it?" I said turning to him my mouth must have touched the floor. He just gave me the biggest grin ever. "Thats impossible dude theres over one hundred...oh my god..." about twenty names down the list in red sharpie was CARTMAN. "Kenny!" I said horrified.

"What dude?" he looked up from his playboy he'd been reading. I was at a loss for words.

"You and...Cartman...?" I'm pretty sure my sex drive left me for good at about this point. "Dude thats disgusting!"

"There are two Cartman's in South Park Stan." he said bored and went back to his playboy. I just stared at him for a moment letting the ol' light bulb warm up, damn compact fluorescents.

"Dude! Mrs. Cartman!" My jaw definitely felt warn out carpet that time. Kenny just smirked not even looking at me.

"Every Friday night for the past two years. Now aren't you getting a little of topic? Lets get back to the me banging your girlfriend." he said obviously bored with the conversation now.

"Huh? Oh right. And shes my ex now Kenny and that also answers why you need to bang her." I said sitting on the edge of his bed and instantly regretting it as a spring decided to try and shank me.

"So you guys broke up big deal. Why do you want me to bang her? You guys are just having a fight, you guys are the perfect couple remember?" He turned the page as he talked how he could focus on the conversation and peruse the magazine was beyond me.

"First: We are NOT perfect I am tired of letting her tell me what to do all the time and just going along with it I don't even like her I just was with her cause I don't even know why anymore." I said sighing at the end.

"And the second reason?" He said obviously interested now since the playboy had been discarded onto his bed.

"Well I didn't exactly give her any warning...and I guess I was a bit...harsh? Basically she wants to murder me now." I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"So you need me to basically placate her? Keep her from killing you like some kind of sex decoy?" He said deadpan almost seeming to be mad until his smile bursts wide. "Your the best friend ever!" he said as he hugged me before deciding that wasn't sufficient and added "And you let me know if you ever want your name on that list handsome." I shot backwards away from him and tumbled off the other side of the bed with very little grace.

"Umm...no thanks dude" I said not sure if it was safe to turn my back on him or use the gym showers at school for that matter. He walked over to his drawer and pulled out a few items I couldn't see. "Do I wanna know what you just grabbed?"

"Nope." he said turning towards me with that shit-eating grin of his that he always got when he had new prey. "Stanny-boy it's time to work."

WOOOOO! YEA! that JUST FUCKING HAPPENED! O_O Oh and in this story im not making kenny all knowing honestly that happens way to often in stories I even have it in my other story Moop ^^; ...well a little bit REVIEW BITCHES!