After Hells Bells
I have to ease the ache seeing him with that skank left me with. I'm aching, my whole body yearning for him. I could ask him for one more time, and he'd give it, no questions asked. He wouldn't even pressure me into the second and third times that would occur that same evening. But I know it would not be one more time. If I slip once…if I slip once I am done for.
But so I close my eyes and think about other partners, of Riley. Of the feeling of his nipple under my tongue. His body wrapped around mine in a cocoon of unbelievable pleasure. I even allow myself to think of Angel, which I never do. And remember the way his body covered mine. The innocent way we would sit, and he would listen to my heartbeat. And pressed against his body we would sleep together and the peace and safety was beyond the telling of it.
And then-flashes of Spike. Intrusions. Physical sense-memories of him thrusting into me, of my body quaking with the impact so hard that my vision blurs and there's darkness surrounding my tunnel vision which sees only his face looming above me. The taste of the sweat on his upper lip after he's come. He liked to come on my stomach, on my breasts, something Riley or Angel never would have done (or at least they never did it with me). Ordinarily I might say eww, but with the way I would be without consciousness at that point, only a body and a soul, with no mind to speak of, it was intensely erotic. I remember licking the rest of his liquid off his cock and then kissing him, hoping stupidly that maybe that was something new for him (although with over a century of sex I'm sure nothing is new to him).
I yank my mind back to the present, and land my fantasy on Riley again. I realize that Riley is the only human I've been with (stupid Parker SO does not count) and the warmth, the combined heat was overwhelming. Feeling him hot inside me, hot all around me. I remember my cheeks flushing, my whole body on fire. By the end I would be covered in sweat and my face would be fire-engine red and I wouldn't care because of the way he would look at me after he rolled onto his side to face me.
And then Spike, and I can almost taste his saliva as he bites down, hard, on my bottom lip.