Did you ever felt that life is just a circle that you follow, even if you want, even if you don't want? And the problem is that it just takes you from the point where you've started.

It never ends.

This is the question that has crossed through my mind for the last two years.

Chapter 4: Insanity

"Dear, please, stop…"

"Shut the hell up!"

This is the same old fight between my step parents.

I'm not feeling sorry for any of these humans from this house.

My stepfather turned out to be a drunk and unfaithful husband that annoys or concerns my stepmother that has a problem with frustration, and says that she will die from a disease from the frustration which her husband has caused to her mind and soul.

And my stepbrother seems to be careless for his parents like I am.

I don't know if it bothers him but he sure doesn't seem bothered.

And I am not, not even a bit, not at all.

"What is this?"

The bookcase is filled with books, and I don't want to read any of it.

But I need a book for my homework and I found a book that seems different from others.

The boy didn't rose up his eyes from his book.

But for the first time, I spoke, asked something, and I wasn't asked before.

I think is as odd for me as it is odd for him because just now he had realized that I said something.

He came beside me and took the book which I just found and he spoke:

"It's a book that explains the Japanese names, like their meanings. Why?"

"I just found it..."

It was odd.

Anyway, it seems interesting to me.

"Boys, me and your father are going to take dinner in town, don't stay awake too much, it's already 8."

"Yes."

We responded in unison. It became a habit.

She closed the door from our room and after a few seconds I heard the door of the apartment.

And then I realized. Why did she lie every time?

I know, and he knows, that they don't go together. He will be at some bar until morning, and she will go at some friends or something like that.

I put myself on the chair of the desk, and I put the big book on the desk too, and I opened it.

I stood some seconds just wondering myself.

"So, he is Junichi Matsumoto, I hope you will accept him as your older brother."

She wanted to change my name, like she wants, so, for sure, she changed his name too, before I came here.

Then, she really searched for the meaning of his name, she is not dumb at all, I looked at he twice and I realized that.

So…Junichi.

It's a Japanese name and it means "obedient one".

Why would you choose your child to be obedient?

But if I look at him, the name, maybe this is the first step to change him in what they want, maybe…

"I've always liked this name, Junichi, and I think it suits him. So, I understood that your name is Naruto. I wonder… do you like the name Nao?"

Nao? What Nao means?

Japanese unisex name meaning docile child.

She wanted me to be docile?

That reminds me...

She cried more and looked in my eyes.

"You, poor child…"

She cried and said my name.

"Naruto."

Maeko.

Truthful Child.

Suddenly, the light dissapeared and the dark has replaced it.

„Goodnight."

He does this every time, when he wants to sleep, he just turns off the light, doesn't asks me at all.

But I didn't complained.

I walked to the bed and I put myself under the blankets and before I realized, the clock showed that is 3 in the morning.

And I haven't slept at all.

„Good morning class!"

I am sitting in my chair, with my head on the bank.

I never felt more tired than I feel now.

I tried to fall asleep many times but in the end. I stood awake all night.

If I would only know the reason...

„Naruto, you don't feel well?"

„No, I didn't..."

That reminded me. I found that book but I didn't found the book I needed for today.

„I am just tired."

„You want to go home?"

Better here tired than home.

„No, I am fine."

The teacher has just sigh and walked until he was in the front of the class, and he begun to read something.

I turned my head on the desk and I stared at the window which is closed, and at the bright blue sky.

It's spring, so the cherry trees had blossomed.

But I stopped staring outside when I realized that my collegue is sitting beside me, so quiet.

Of course, he is quiet, he reads something, again.

I don't understand. I don't talk too much, almost not at all, but I have my reasons, what reasons he has?

These days, I lost my temper too many times.

I yelled at my stepmother to shut up because she had complained about the same thing for more than an hour.

I yelled at my stepbrother that day, because he turns off the light when he wants but not when I want too,and I didn't slept, so I was annoyed but he obeyed in the end when I yelled.

I yelled at my stepfather to remind him that I exist and that I don't care about his opinions about kids and money for his alcohol.

I yelled at everyone and today, I yelled at Sasuke.

„Do you ever fucking stop reading?"

My luck is that the class is completly empty.

We are the only ones here ,because we arrived the firsts.

He always arrives first and I was getting sick of that house, and I ran for silence to the school and what did I found?

I see him every day and he just responds to the teachers when he is asked, he writes when we have a test, never takes notes, but always gets 10's at every test or responds perfectly at every question.

And he reads, all the time, with the same book two or three days or sometimes just one day ,and then another book and then another book, always different, always huge, always in his hands.

I don't care about him but I hate these books, I hate those stories with happy endings, is not real, it's a lie.

„It bothers you?"

The tone of my voice was annoyed and loud.

The tone of his voice was calm and low.

„Yes."

„Then get used to it."

He smiled and begun to read again.

I never see him smiling, and every time someone asked what bothers me or something like that and I responded with yes, they turned off the light, or they made silence, or they took the food which I didn't liked from my plate, but he, he didn't closed the book and he didn't put it back ,in his backpack.

He didn't seems angry or confused, he didn't rose an eyebrow or quickly did as I said.

The tone of his voice was calm and his smile was warm.

I wanted to say that question for about two years, and now that I said it.

I am sure. I hate this circle that never stops.

And I would wish that I could know the reason why all these things had happened in this way.

To be continued...

Well, yes, there are not many interactions, and I know I haven't updated in ages.

And no, I haven't gave up on this story.

I actually thought about it a lot, but I haven't had time to write it.

And this chapter is another chapter that is needed.

And maybe you think is nothing.

But from my point of view, to don't make you say ' I hate it' or something similar, I will tell you what is with this chapter.

Feelings. Even if it's insanity, even if it's anger and fatigue, Naruto has feelings my friends, and he begun to show them.

And yes, he shows them ,yelling at everybody.

Well, I have whole more constructive idea, but this will be long, and if you stick with me until the end I hope that everybody will be pleased.

Well, now, that I explained and I wrote not too much in the chapter but much here at the end of it, opinions?