I am tired.

So tired that I don't even care what happens around me. So tired that I don't even care what happens with me.

I am sitting in my chair, in a big empty classroom, at my bank.

And I stare at a black board, I rephrase, it is black but it's covered with colored chalk powder, it says:
Welcome to your first High School year!.

Such irony…

Chapter 5: Weak

I am not surprised that no one arrived yet. Outside, the rain made everything quiet, and even here, it is very quiet. It's almost too quiet.

My head hurts, I feel weak, and above them all, useless.

It may be because the big 'break' has ended. Maybe because this class is almost too new to me. Maybe because I don't know how the others will be, but I know about one single thing…

The door opened and a black haired boy entered in the room, soaked from the rain and as quiet as if a cat has entered and walked on its pawls.

He closed the door behind him and he sits himself beside me.

As I said, I know about one single thing, I am in the same high school, no, in the same class with the only one from my previous school.

And to be a bigger irony, he even sits in the same bank with me, like before.

And to be ridiculous, we even share the same room in the dorm.

Not to mention, that he hasn't changed at all.

After he sits down, he searches in his backpack and I didn't even looked at him anymore because I know what he is searching for.

His book.

But to be sincere, I'm getting used to it, but no, it still annoys me in every possible way but I became to get used to the idea that if I don't kill him or beat him until he will be so scared to never read again, then I have no influence of what he is doing.

But the truth is that now, we talk more than before and I even asked him once or twice about his books.

He seemed pleased to answer my questions.

He didn't ask me anything though.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I am not the only one.

Someone I don't even knew, and I don't think he knew him either, yelled at him one day, saying that he thinks that he is so great and smart with his books all the time, reading all the time, he didn't even looked at him but before the boy would really want to beat him because he was getting byword annoyed because he was completely ignoring him, he said something that made me tremble and think twice.

"You think you are cool, don't you? Always fucking perfect! Well let me tell you something! One day you will meet someone that you want to talk to and he will be fucking reading, then you will say that I was right!"

Later, I found out about the boy's story, he had a brother, a brother who had problems, well, with drugs.

He was younger than him and you didn't have to be a genius to figure out his story.

The bigger brother who always prefers drugs above his little brother.

And even more later, I found out that his brother died because of the drugs, he didn't even had teeth's in his mouth when he was buried, but that was just a rumor.

Even so, I remember his name, and I even searched for it in my book. His name was Jiro and it means "second son".

At that moment, I really thought it was sad. That boy seemed cursed.

And I think at him as it 'was' because I never saw him again, not even after a week after that incident, not even after years .What was even more weird was that everybody avoided to talk about him, not even a word, not even his name, nothing.

And I never really cared too much; it was a mystery that didn't felt like it concerned me.

As I said, my relationship with Sasuke Uchiha changed radically but just when we feel like talking and today, I don't really feel like it.

The sounds of a thunder awaked me up from my thoughts. Thoughts like these kept me awake for some months. I fall asleep just when I am completely exhausted.

I looked from the surface of my bank at Sasuke, who, as always, reads.

His face is as always, stoic, even when he reads. But when he was in his bed, in our dorm room, he smiled while he was reading.

I was really surprised.

For me, this boy, became a complete mystery.

Not like Jiro, that was a lost case. Sasuke was something else.

But just then, he raised his eyes from his book and I looked at the desk's surface again.

Why was I staring so much at him? … No idea.

These months made me more than annoyed.

I wanted to pass this mood.

It already passed a week from the first day of high school and the board has still the same message.

Sasuke reading beside me, the rain pouring outside, the still too early hour for the classes to start, the silence…

That made me crazy.

I am calm, tired, on the outside, and somehow, I have a feeling of peace in me, but in the same time, it's like something is missing, something screams in me. Whatever I do, I feel like I do nothing, because nothing really registers in my mind, it's like I have a wall in me that doesn't lets anything to pass after it.

And I try to tell myself to wake up, to break that wall, and I am getting annoyed by the fact that I accept that I begin to have a problem but I can't solve it , no matter what I do.

I can't concentrate at anything.

The peace in me just hides something after it, after that 'wall' there is something that screams in me, something that keeps me awake at night, something that makes me eat too little because I forget, I don't even realize that I am hungry just until I feel too hungry and it bothers me, but even when I eat, I eat too much because I don't even realize what I do, I just put food in my mouth.

I can't study, I just do things before trying to study, saying that I need to relax before, but I never study, it doesn't matters that I relax 10 hours and it's 5 in the morning, I don't want to study!

And now, this is just the start, I will get bad grades, and that…won't make me any good.

If I think better, I wasn't supposed to be in this school, I didn't have such good grades as Sasuke had, but my wonderful parents have money.

I don't think something more could explain my situation.

This school isn't the strictest school, but it's a much praised school with a very large history behind it.

So that's why I am here.

But did he have to be here too?
Sometimes I think that I am too cold to him, or he is too cold to me, we are both cold to each other anyway.

But sometimes I realized; if he wasn't here with me, I wouldn't know what to do.

But even so, once or twice, I talked to my classmates, it really is odd for me to try to fit in, I don't even know why I do that… maybe because of boredom?
And what would someone want to ask me, as I am, the one who stays beside Sasuke in classes, as I share the same dorm room as him, well, guess what, you have three chances.

"Hey, how the Uchiha kid is like, I mean, you are the only one he talks to, are you two friends or something?"
It was odd to even hear something like that.

I never thought about that.

Me and Sasuke friends?

We are not enemies like before, or just I felt that we were anyway. We are not even just classmates like the others are; I mean, I don't even bother to remember their names, and we are not friends either but what do I know, what friends do I have?
"Uzumachi?"

I looked around me and realized that just Sasuke is in this room. These thoughts never stop, do they?
"Yes, Uchiha."
I don't look at him, instead, I still look at the board, but then I wondered why he is talking to me.

"Would you mind?"

And then, I looked at him, what is he talking about?
"What?"

I stared at him, really confused and he nearly looks a little annoyed and then I felt something under my feet ,and I stared at it, my foot is on his, I really am that tired that I don't realize?

"Oh."

I took my foot from his and then looked at my right, where he wasn't staring at me, but after what might have been a minute, I looked at him again and he was reading as nothing happed and then I stared at the window, soaked from the rain which hasn't stopped and then at his hair.

Some drops of water fell from his hair on his white shirt. And then something made me realize.

They stopped.

The voices, the thoughts, they stopped as I stared at the round circles of water on his shirt.

And just when I was about to say something even if I had no idea what I was about to say the classroom door opened and loud classmates entered in the quiet class.

They stared at us for a moment and then they go to their seats as they thought they seen a ghost where we are and they decided to ignore it.

Like there is nothing there.

But I didn't mind. It wasn't like I am the social type.

I don't have any hope after all. I have nothing to gain. Nothing I want. Nothing I need. I have nothing.

As I stared at the door as more people entered I realized that the wall came back.

The thoughts came back.

The same thoughts but somehow I wondered why, why would they stop if I look at him, after talking with him made me feel better.

Ten minutes later, everyone was in their seats and the first hour has begun.

"Excuse me; can I go to the bathroom?"

I received a small nod in return as he continued to teach his boring history lesson.

I almost ran to the bathroom. Which to my luck, it was empty. I washed my face with cold water and stared at a tired expression in the mirror and he stared back.

I hate how I look.

I hate how strange it became for me to look at myself.

I don't really care but even if it's just my face.

'I am like a stranger to me; the only face I like to watch is…'

In one second the mirror's glass almost flied to the ground making some noise.

My fist hurt and some blood flew from it, some glass cut me.

But as I stared at my eyes in the remain mirror, I was almost to scream.

'This isn't happening to me.'

I quickly got back to the classroom, hiding my hand, and I got away quickly enough when someone came to check what has happened in the bathroom.

What was odder is that I thought that I heard someone in a bathroom stall after I got out, because after the guardian entered, I heard one of the bathroom stall's door openings.

But I continued to walk and when I entered in the classroom, I quickly sat down.

After all, I skipped the next hours.

I return to my room, and I washed my hand, and disinfect it.

But the scar was still there.

After some hours of simply laying on my bed without sleeping, I finally closed my eyes, tired to think.

'I am so sick of thinking.'

And just when I thought that I could sleep, I heard the door opening and pecked a little without him noticing.

Sasuke finished the classes.

He opened his computer, like always.

And then he begins to unbutton his shirt.

For a moment, I thought he was going to change completely in my face but when he turned around and saw me he stopped halfway and I think I closed my eyes quickly enough to make it look like I am asleep.

I realized that he is very close to me when I heard the wooden floor making sounds under his feet.

And then my hurt hand was in his hand.

It wasn't hard to tell even without thinking that I was freaked out.

'He looks at my wound doesn't he? But why?"
He put my hand back on the bed and then he got to the bathroom after a few minutes and closed the door behind him.

I opened my eyes almost automatically and stared at the closed bathroom door.

'How did I become so weak?"

To be continued...

Yes, it passed an eternity and yes I am sorry, and yes it may be a little different from before but I am sorry.

It's 5 in the morning and I thought that I should finally start to write again, I don't know if it was a writer's blockage or break but I simply couldn't write anymore.

I don't know why either.

And I should study right now, I have an exam, and I am writing this, and at this hour, I didn't slept either.

Yeah, I am boring, complaining like that, it's just my fault but I am just trying to say I am really sorry, and I hope I didn't lost all my readers, I just couldn't write, I don't know who knows that feelings but I just couldn't.

And it passed very much time, yeah, I am sorry (again).

Well, even so, I hope this chapter isn't very different from others, I write poems too, so I guess in all this time something changed in me and I can't really write the same as before, so don't get mad, I really hope that this doesn't sucks, this is how I feel, almost all his feelings are like mine, this is me now.

Writing about it was the only way to be able to write something, I guess maybe having no idea what to do (okay I have an idea for previous chapters) but I felt like he should have a breakdown, so why not use my life?
Even so, I will try to get into the story more and really write something more interesting in the next chapter.

I hope I didn't disappoint anybody.

And yeah, this wasn't corrected for mistakes, sorry, but I try to update all of my stories, and it's hard to correct everything, I read it a few times for mistakes but not very elaborated, I will give it to my beta lately, and if there is something that it really isn't readable then tell me in a review (preferable) or in a message.

Thank everyone who reviewed or put this story to favorites or anything or who still waited for this story even if I am a jerk (I said it, I made someone happy?) and I hope I will be forgiven, someday…

And it isn't that I didn't wrote from a long time, it is this breakdown, not at all, this is supposed to happen, this breakdown, he is weak now, just now, he didn't forget his promises but he is just scared of the 'new' world he entered. It's normal, believe me, I had gone through that and that is the way I reacted , if someone is strong, of course there are, at least let him be weak in this chapter, that was his breakdown.

So…

I really have a plot settled in my mind and I promise to blow your minds later.

Thank you.