As he saw the light go out in his brother's eyes, Nathan allowed the hopeless fury in his heart to unleash itself; slashing and cutting with his wand, wicked curses cleaving holes into stunned Death Eaters while the deflected ones left chasms in the stone walls. As they began to reorganize, Marie ducking behind the assembled mass, taking cover and returning with spells of their own, Nathan debated whether to stand and fight or run….the common concept of fight or flight that most people gave into instinctively was being debated with near disinterest. Slowly, Nathan was pushed backwards….dodging the streams of deadly attacks with sidesteps and deflecting lazily those he decided to.

Turning the corner, the wizard had to fight to keep his knees from buckling beneath him. His first thought was to return to headquarters, but that wasn't where he wanted to be. When the former Auror apparated, he popped back into being far from the most noble house of Black…instead, he tucked his wand into his belt and drug himself through the doors of his favorite bar, The Orange Loco. Finding a stool at the mostly empty bar, Nathan dug out his wallet and tossed it on the table.

"What do you drink?" The bartender was a stout man of Hispanic heritage, a man with a well trimmed goatee and slicked black hair.

"What's the strongest stuff you've got?" Running his hands through his hair, Nathan barely heard the barkeep's response.

"The Dark Wizard."

"Then give me as much as I can afford from that wallet of something stronger than that."

Nathan concentrated on the dark residence of Number 12, Grimmauld Place and let himself be swept there…the feeling of damp concrete beneath his feet told him he had arrived. Lingering in the street for a few moments, he almost hoped to hear the popping sound to announce the arrival of pursuit; of a Death Eater that the former Auror could take his anger out on. But none came. There was no sound from the dimly lit street, and so Nathan waited for Number 12 to come into view. Trudging his way up the steps, the exhausted wizard found turning the doorknob to take all of his remaining strength. Letting the door swing shut behind him, Nathan heard raised voices from the kitchen.

"He should NOT have gone after him!"

"Molly, that was his brother. Could you have left Arthur? Or Ron, or George, or Bill, or Ginny?" Nathan heard Sirius' voice and somehow that brought him back to reality, removing the fog that had settled over his mind and spirit. Pushing himself onward, Nathan staggered to the kitchen, having to support himself on the walls to avoid tumbling to the ground.

"You leave my children out of this! These were grown men who knew exactly what they were getting into!"

Before Sirius could retort, silence gripped the room as the lanky wizard leaned against the doorframe, a smirk that held no humor etched across his face. Everything seemed to stop as the new Order member staggered over to the kitchen table, standing beside Sirius and gazing with a mad look in his eyes at .

"Franklin was an innocent victim. All he did was try and help me, and it got him killed."

"Where have you been? Sirius and Remus arrived almost 4 hours ago!"

"Molly…" Arthur put a hand on 's shoulder, but the look of determination in her face reminded everyone of their last argument. Recognizing it, Arthur pulled his hand away. Sometimes, two bulls just needed to square off with each other.

"I think we should just go to our corners and let this calm down a little. We shouldn't talk when…" The look Nathan gave Remus cut him off mid-sentence. Putting his hands up in surrender, Lupin retreated back to the nearby edge of the kitchen, Sirius taking a few steps in the same direction as everyone cleared away from the table, the room a tension swept battleground with the two combatants glaring at each other across the kitchen table.

"I don't think it's any of your bloody business where I was at, but because I'm in a telling mood, I was getting drunk in memoriam." The sarcasm was as heavy in tone as the smell of alcohol on his breath, Pierce swaying somewhat as he locked eyes with .

"Getting drunk? The order is in crisis, and you're off getting drunk? You are the most irresponsible poor excuse for a man I have ever known!"

"I have sacrificed most of my adult life to keeping you people safe from the dark things that go bump in the night. I chose with my own free will to recognize my brother in my own way."

"I'm sure your brother Franklin would be very proud to see you drink yourself to death in his image!" Before anyone could react, Nathan's wand was in hand, the tip pointing at Molly's heart.

"My brother loved me, and he was very proud of me. You mention his name again, and I'll send you to join him!" Nathan's voice quaked with fury, and the room stood in silence; waiting for any noise or movement to send him off the edge.

After nearly a minute, Nathan's hand eerily steady despite his drunkenness, it was Sirius who came to put a hand testingly on his old friend's wand arm.

"I understand how you feel….but this isn't the way. Just put the wand down…" Sirius voice seemed to sway Nathan's weary heart…the former Auror lowered his wand, body still shaking from the adrenaline running through him.

"I'll put the wand down Sirius…and I'll keep my oath. I gave my word to Dumbledore that I would serve the Order and I aim to keep that promise. But you hear me Sirius…and Remus…and Arthur…and anyone else that can hear me. If I ever hear that twat speak of my brother in any tone short of piety and respect, I'll make her wish she had been captured by Voldemort himself!" Arthur stepped forward to argue, but a glance from Lupin told him now was not the time. Slowly Nathan was led from the room, Remus and Sirius flanking him on both sides as Molly and Arthur sat down, embracing each other and being thankful the situation had not ended in yet another tragedy.

"Goodnight Nathan." Remus had departed hours ago, needing his sleep before a long journey ahead. Sirius patted his old friend on the back, hoping their talk had, at least to some small degree, helped in the grieving.

Watching Sirius leave, Nathan debated leaving for another bar, but found, though he couldn't sleep, he also couldn't find the energy to leave his chair. Sitting in the dark, Nathan ran his hands through his hair, wondering how much more he would have to sacrifice to bring peace to the world. The sound of footsteps broke his thoughts, but the exhausted wizard couldn't tell how long he had sat there…perhaps it had been only moments, perhaps hours.

Watching the figure turn the corner, Nathan wondered if he was suffering from some sort of illusion, or if he really was staring at the robed form of Albus Dumbledore.

"So what brings you here? Emergency meeting of the order and no one told me?" Chuckling at his own joke, Nathan's mirthless laughter turned into a deep and painful sounding cough; a look of deep concern covered Dumbledore's age-lined face.

"I heard of your loss…" Dumbledore went to put a paternal hand on Nathan's shoulder, but decided against it. Instead, he sat down opposite his new ally, waiting for the younger man to look up and meet him eye to eye before continuing.

"I will not think any less of you if you decide to back out of the Order. You have suffered a great tragedy, and no one could say you have not done your fair share, recently here and with the ministry."

"As I told Molly earlier…I made an agreement with you, and I will honor that agreement. If you only came here to check your roster numbers, you can leave." The gruffness in Nathan's voice seemed to go unnoticed by Albus, who's face remained concerned but not taken back.

"I do not only see you as a member of the Order, but as a good man and a good friend. I would be honored if you regarded me the same way." Nathan nodded slowly, trying to smile but finding he had forgotten how…

"Albus…I wanted you to know…that I was the one who killed Franklin." A genuine gasp of shock burst from the headmaster, who leaned forward and tried to see if this was survivor's guilt or an actual confession…he found no guilt in Nathan's misty eyes.

"He was captured by the Death Eater's…I couldn't save him, so I performed the killing curse..." Letting the words hang in the air, the former Auror found he couldn't hold his former headmaster's gaze for another second….gazing around the walls, he suddenly felt a strong, aged hand upon his broad shoulder.

"You did what you had to do Nathan. You saved your brother torture and pain, and I know how hard it was for you to do. You are not at fault for your brother's death, and it would be a shame to his memory if you thought you were. I did not know Franklin as well as I would have liked, but everyone that knew him will mourn him. I have only ever heard good things about your brother, but I want you to know this. I have on the greatest authority that your brother once said," If I could give my life to bring about a world where my little brother would be happy, I would do it gladly.' He knew the risks, and you were the only person he would ever put himself in jeopardy for." Nathan stood up abruptly, his drunken state momentarily forgotten as he strode to the corner of the room, pressing his face against the wall as tears flowed freely from his downcast eyes.

"Have I ever asked a favor from you Dumbledore? Have I ever asked you for anything?" Turning to see the senior wizard, he saw a look of confirmation.

"You are a man of honor, of that I am sure."

"Then I'm asking you now, personally, not to stop me when I go to avenge him. I may do terrible things, things you won't want to hear, but I need to know that you understand, even if you can't approve." Turning around with an air of purpose not seen since his days with the ministry, Nathan locked eyes with his former headmaster, with the leader of the order, and found solemn acceptance.

"I wish you would find another way. I am in no position to judge you…but murder is not the way to honor Franklin's memory."

"Will you stop me?"

"I hope it doesn't come to that…"