AlexSamtin: Don't worry, there's more of them coming up :3 Yaya won't get off too easily, I've felt very similar to how Tsubomi has in this situation, so I know how to drag it out just enough, I hope.

DrYuriMom: Thanks :3 Chikaru and Tamao is actually probably the most exciting pairing for me at the moment. Everyone needs a Chikaru, and Tamao more than deserves her by this point, I think :) I also like them because life has too much drama at the moment (how can my life be dramatic when all I do is sit at home and wish my roommate hadn't stopped talking to me when I accidentally posted something about my relationship on Facebook? o.O), and they're probably gonna be the least dramatic couple :3

TheNomade5: Thanks, I'll do my best :)

keitaro5286: Thanks :)

TheDarkAznVampZard: I'll do my best, especially now that my first semester at college is (finally) over :)

Jam: Thanks, will do :)

DividedBy: Thank you! I love those two together, I feel like Chikaru is just what Tamao needs to heal her broken heart. Tamao and Miyuki, I feel, would just kind of leech off each others' sadness D: Thanks :3 I'm so glad you like it, I thought for ages on how to have her react, and I feel like in the end it wouldn't be Yaya if she completely understood. Well, my writerly heart is just full of too many emotions right now, and writing seems to be a good outlet, so I don't see me dropping this fic again any time soon :)

ObsidianandCobalt: Thanks :3 Don't worry, Tsubomi and Yaya will make it through in the end :)

Huggler: It's all good, I do the same thing when I don't like a pairing. I'm so glad you feel that way, it's definitely the emotion I'm going for :3 To be honest, I'd put up with Yaya too, if I loved her like Tsubomi does.

KisaCross: Thanks :3 I definitely will.

ShadowApparation: Don't worry, everyone will be happy in the end. It's just some necessary gaysnt (hey, there's an idea for a fic title xD) because love never really is easy, especially for teen girls. No way I'm going to have them end up single, why would I want a sad ending in a fic when I can get that in real life all I want? :3 I'll try my best, I actually have a lot of Thorns finished, I just have to refind the files :P

Regretx993: Don't worry, I plan on it :)

I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please continue to review. Side note- one hundred reviews! I've been aiming for that for a while, thanks for making it possible :)

XxxxX

How Can You See With Your Eyes Closed?

Chapter Fourteen: And The World Keeps Spinning

xXLiStLesSXx

XxxxX

Tsubomi was torn between wanting to jump into Yaya's arms and wanting to smack the girl upside the head- to be honest, it wasn't much different than usual.

But the girl just wasn't giving up. It was flattering to an extent, as Tsubomi had never been in a relationship where she meant enough to her partner for them to chase after her and not just let her go, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that just taking Yaya back with open arms would only hurt her more in the long run; take her back now, and there would always be that tiny shred of doubt, that pang whenever Yaya was near Hikari. She wasn't called mature for her age for nothing.

But she really, really wished Yaya would stop hanging all over her like she was, as it was making it increasingly difficult for Tsubomi to make the right decision.

"Get off, Yaya-baka," she muttered, squirming in her seat as the brunette slid into the seat beside her, instantly thrusting an arm over her narrow shoulders.

"Nope," the brunette chimed casually. "You're my girlfriend, I think it's kind of my right to hold you whenever I want."

Tsubomi growled under her breath. "You don't have any 'rights' anymore, baka!" she hissed, still well aware of the other girls in the dining room. They were preparing to go stargazing that night ("though I don't know who in their right mind would want to go out at midnight on a winter night."), and everyone was bustling around in that busy way they do when they're on a bit of a sleepless buzz. Tsubomi herself was slumped over on the island in the middle of the kitchen, her nose buried in her folded arms, still half-asleep, and an all-too-energetic Yaya had wasted no time in bounding up to her.

Yaya frowned at her words, but kept her protests to herself and turned back to face the rest of the room, her hand slipping instinctively to rest on Tsubomi's lower back.

And for as much as she felt like a complete cliché, Tsubomi couldn't bring herself to shake the hand away, because it meant something. It was there, and it meant something. It meant that despite it all, Yaya wasn't going to give up on her just yet, and it meant that the brunette was with her, and not Hikari.

And then she felt a pair of lips press to her cheek, and remembered that this wasn't supposed to be easy.

It can't be. She'll never learn and you'll never be anything more if it is.

So she shoved the brunette away and jumped down from the stool she had been sitting on, moving to stand next to the only person she knew she could trust not to make everything worse.

And maybe Amane never said a word, but at least she didn't say all the wrong ones, either. The little jealous glare of Yaya's was only the cherry on top, really.

PGBR

For as patient of a person as Chikaru was, it was quickly becoming almost unbearable to be around Tamao when she, in turn, was around Nagisa. The lovesick, kicked-puppy looks were starting to make her feel sick to her stomach, and she found that she had a newfound respect for Tsubomi, who had to have been putting up with this for much longer than she had. The pity she'd previously felt, the disapproval towards Shizuma…it had morphed into a foul-tasting, stabbing sensation that left her feeling breathless in a way she was quite sure wasn't good. She could hardly look at Tamao and Nagisa without feeling a sharp, twisting pain in her stomach.

Chikaru sat there on the grass only several yards away from where Tamao and Nagisa were located, keeping her feelings to herself for the longest time. But then she remembered that morning, and the way Tamao had curled into her arms, fitting perfectly, as though they were made for each other, and her insides twisted in utter defiance as she stared at the two younger girls. Maybe Tamao wasn't hers just yet, but she knew the poet well enough to know that Tamao was one of the most perceptive girls at Astraea Hill. There was no way that the blunette hadn't picked up on her intentions, and yet here she was, giggling with Nagisa as if Chikaru wasn't there at all.

Squaring her shoulders and fixing a nonchalant look onto her sweet features, Chikaru strode over to where Nagisa and Tamao were giggling together- or, rather, Nagisa was giggling, and Tamao was staring at her like someone had brought her lost puppy back to her after years. Even as she promised herself she would be rational and calm about the situation, Chikaru couldn't resist the urge to squeeze Tamao's shoulder slightly as she reached the two girls, something inside of her begging for some sort of contact. "Ara, you two seem to be enjoying yourselves," she said casually with a smile that almost hurt. She hoped Tamao wouldn't pick up on the slight inflection of her words, though at the same time, marveled at the fact that she didn't mind if the redhead beside her did.

Tamao frowned, confused at Chikaru's sudden change in behavior. "What's wrong, Chikaru-sama?" she asked, not even bothering to play along with the girl's admittedly brilliant façade. There were just a few cracks in the mask that were all too obvious to the young poet- Chikaru's aura was somber, not its usual plucky state, and the Le Rim president hardly ever touched her like she just had (though Tamao dare not name what she thought it had been).

And Chikaru wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Here, Nagisa-chan," Tamao said, smiling at her adorable friend as she handed her a cookie she'd brought from the dorms. Nagisa beamed up at her and Tamao couldn't help but flush only to feel Chikaru tense behind her. "I'll be right back, okay? Or you could go sit with Shizuma-sama, I'm sure she misses you." The words escaped her mouth before she properly thought them through, but Tamao was surprised to find that she didn't regret them at all. Instead, she turned her full attention to the black-haired girl on her right, who currently looked as if someone had stuck a stick inside her and churned up her emotions like butter. "Please, Chikaru-sama," she said in a soft voice, scooting closer to the taller girl and placing a hand on top of hers, squeezing gently. "Talk to me."

Chikaru opened her mouth to speak, but was almost shocked to realize that for once in her life, she had no idea of what to say. She didn't even know what to tell Tamao had been going through her mind when she came up and interrupted the two girls. Her brows furrowed together in utter confusion and Tamao realized with a start that the Le Rim president had probably never felt jealousy before. After a second of wondering how nice that must be, she shook the thought from her head and shifted closer to Chikaru, very nearly swooning when the older girl kissed the top of her head as if it were nothing. She had to be the luckiest girl in the whole wide world for managing to capture the attention of such a wonderful girl.

Finally, after several moments of neither girl really knowing what to say, Chikaru began to speak, finding her words first. "I'm sure it would be fairly heartless of me to ask you to get over Nagisa-chan so soon," she said in a sadly resigned tone, startling Tamao with her straightforwardness. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what came over me." Chikaru swallowed forcefully- for as much advice as she gave, it was completely different to be in the situation herself. And it hurt it a way that was almost physical, in a way she could never have imagined. A single tear slipped from her eye despite her effort to keep it locked away.

Tamao reached up and wiped the tear away gently, her heart aching when Chikaru still refused to look her way, and she realized that this was so much more than jealousy. Yes, it had probably been jealousy that had caused her to interrupt herself and Nagisa, but Tamao never even stopped to think how much she was hurting Chikaru by both mourning Nagisa's love and accepting the Le Rim president's affections all at once. "Nagisa-chan and I…" Tamao began cautiously, massaging the back of Chikaru's hand as she spoke, "we were never going to happen, Chikaru-sama. Nagisa-chan was never mine." She stared down at her feet as she said the words.

Strange, the more she spoke out loud of the thoughts that used to cut her so deeply, the less they weighed on her heard.

Tamao felt Chikaru's gaze, and knew she had to keep going before she lost the nerve to say what she needed to forever. "I can get over Nagisa-chan," she said, her voice almost a whisper, "because there was never any chance for us. But I don't think I could forgive myself if I hurt someone who truly cares about me in the process of not letting her go."

There was a pause as Tamao continued to stare at her feet, her breath coming in short bursts as she tried to calm her racing heart.

And then everything was finally alright again, because Chikaru had leaned over and pulled her to her by her lower back and they were kissing and everything felt so right for the first time since it all began. And as they broke apart and Tamao sank into Chikaru's warm, safe embrace, Tamao felt happier (lighter) than she had felt even back when she thought she had a chance with Nagisa.

With a shaky, contented sigh, Tamao leaned back against the Le Rim president's chest, feeling free and stripped of burden for the first time in what felt like forever. Chikaru's steady breathing felt like a lullaby, and suddenly Tamao realized something she should have realized a long time ago-

The past was literally in the past. It could only hurt her up until she let it go.

PGBR

Miyuki was leaning back against a large log, comfortably huddled beneath Shion's protective arm as she leaned against her fiancée, thinking about nothing (everything). She accepted Shion's possessive tendencies for what they were, realizing it would be a while before the blonde was okay with her being around Shizuma at all, and actually relished in the increased affection it meant for her.

Catching sight of Chikaru and Tamao out of the corner of her eye just as her newly-found friend leaned in for another kiss from the slightly blushing blunette with a playful smile, Miyuki felt her heart warm up just a little bit more. "I'm glad they worked out," she mused, more to herself than anything, but she felt Shion's head turn in the direction of her gaze all the same.

"'Course they did," Shion stated matter-of-factly. Miyuki turned to her with a confused frown and the blonde leaned down to kiss her fiancée briefly before explaining. "Chikaru's the one who taught me never to give up on something I couldn't go an hour without thinking about," she said, smiling down at Miyuki with the barest trace of a blush. "I guess it doesn't really hurt that she's probably the most eligible single on the Hill, either." The Spican then yawned widely and slumped in a very un-Shion-like manner against the log, pulling Miyuki to lean against her chest. "Besides your lover girl, at least." She scowled as Shizuma winked over at them.

Miyuki rolled her eyes, but couldn't deny that it was just a little bit cute, despite the fact that Shion's petty jealousy went against everything she normally stood for. "I'm sure you can be a bit more childish if you try, Shion," she said in a lightly teasing tone, giggling uncharacteristically when Shion grumbled and tugged her closer.

PGBR

Tsubomi found herself blinking in and out of sleep as she lay flat on her back, staring up at the stars, trembling with the cold. She had long since given up on getting Yaya to keep her distance, and like the selfish girl she was ashamed to admit she was, she wanted to keep the brunette close by, if only to keep her away from Hikari.

She felt Yaya's eyes on her before the girl spoke, and braced herself for the conversation that was soon to come. "How long are you going to hate me for?" she heard the girl ask in a low voice, making her usual husky tone almost irresistible.

"As long as it takes for you to understand how I feel," Tsubomi replied, not even bothering to correct the girl, to tell her that she didn't actually hate her, that it was quite the opposite, in fact, and that's why things were so complicated. "Yaya-senpai can't just say she's sorry and expect things to fix themselves overnight."

There was a rustling as Yaya shifted beside her, and suddenly there was a warm weight covering Tsubomi's upper body, and the brunette was jacketless. The smaller girl instinctively clutched the fabric closer, eliciting a hopeful half-smile from the older girl. "Well, can you give her a chance to try?"

Tsubomi paused, her nostrils now full of Yaya's scent, a smell that had become so familiar, so safe. Should she just let Yaya go? Probably. But could she? Well, that was another story entirely, and what was the harm of letting the girl try and prove to her that she could change? Worst case scenario, Tsubomi would end up just as heartbroken as she was now- ergo, now that things had hit rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. "Just don't mess anything up, Yaya-baka," she muttered into the fabric, glaring up at the stars as Yaya did an exaggerated fist-pump and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

Have you ever been so upset you made yourself sick? There are certain things about me I'd give absolutely anything to change, things that make me absolutely intolerable in a relationship. The one thing I need more than anything in the world is to for someone to care about me, and every time I think I manage to find someone who does, I fuck it up. I fucking disgust myself.