…

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Cheers!

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Tyki just had to admit to himself that things weren't going as expected, seeing to the fact that he, instead of assassinating Allen Walker instead had brought the white-haired teenager home. Said teenager was currently occupying HIS bed, sprawled out in the sleep which had been enforced by all the pills he'd seen the kid consume earlier.

Tyki frowned lightly. Sure, as he had pointed out earlier he really couldn't be seen as a role model in these things and certainly shouldn't be preaching to anyone about the potential dangers of overdosing on pills or smoking pot, but he still found himself frowning at seeing a fifteen-year-old, a child soldier to the boot, sleeping under the influence of drugs since he couldn't do so otherwise. On some plane it was just so sad, so utterly pitiful, yet he couldn't look away.

The thing that was the most sickening however was the fact that Tyki thought the sight of a drugged teen sleeping on his bed sprawled upon the sheets was cute. Really cute. Disturbingly cute.

It was about then that Tyki decided he would go fetch himself some alcohol and get drunk. On second thought, he might as well bring some snacks along while he was at it. He'd see whatever was around. Just sitting there on a chair and staring at somebody, and a minor of all things, did make him seem as somewhat of a pedophile and seriously, while Tyki Mikk considered himself a man who took great pleasure in not living by the laws (of human and of physics) he seriously didn't have any intention of becoming a pedophile, whatever his behavior may have indicated before. But on the other hand, was it really pedophilia when the object of your potential affection was a teenager, hence was undergoing puberty?

Seriously, having a thing for minors was more like Sheryl's piece of cake, although he was worse, seriously. Come on, Road didn't look like she was even in her teens yet (she was far older than that, but still…) and she dressed like a goth loli. Besides, although they weren't related by blood both of them were Noah. But on the other hand, it was more of an unhealthy fatherly obsession than anything else; thank God.

Just imagining the possibilities of so called "Noahcest" made him incredibly nauseous, but after having downed a bottle of wine he felt more like considering possibilities… and impossibilities. Hence, he started to pair up people with each other in his imagination.

Sheryl X Road. Ugh. That was just plain creepy, end of story.

Skin X "Anyone-besides-chocolate-cake". He couldn't even imagine it.

Jasdero X Devitto. They were pretty gay already. Jasdevi.

Jasdero X Road X Devitto. The threesome from Hell. Definitely.

The Millennium Earl X Road. The mental images. Hideous.

He downed another bottle.

The Millennium Earl X Lulubell. Could work, but was still very gross. Hell, it was gross with anyone whenever the Earl was involved. Sorry boss.

"What are you doing?" A tired voice from the bed asked while its owner rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Nothing much," Tyki replied with a shrug before finishing his glass. "Just drinking and pairing people up in my imagination and drinking more to rid myself of the pictures I get inside my head… You know, stuff."

"Oh," Allen said, sitting up and running a hand through his messy white hair. "Can I join?"

"Sure," Tyki replied. "Want a joint as well?"

"Nah, I think I'll stay clear of the drugs for a while," Allen replied. "I'm still feeling a bit woozy."

"Of course you are after taking all those pills," Tyki said. "If you were a normal person I'm pretty sure you'd either be dead or in a come, which means you either have built up quite a resistance to them or should be considered an abnormal person in general…"

"Let's not talk about such complicated and uninteresting things," Allen cut off, tilting his head to the side. "Let's talk about who to pair up with who… it doesn't take much IQ… to do so."

"Why do you rhyme, boy?"

"I dunno… I just felt like it."

"Want some?" Tyki asked, indicating the alcohol at his disposal.

"Nuh-uh," Allen replied, gaining a slightly sickened look on his face. "Childhood trauma. Need I say more?"

"Childhood… apprenticed to Cross Marian… Alcohol…" Tyki muttered. "I think I can imagine what happened… kind of…"

"Let's get back to this pairing thing instead," Allen said, smiling cheerfully at him. "I'll start off with Sheryl X Road X Tyki."

Tyki immediately choked on the drink he had been occupying himself, breaking out into a coughing fit. "You're terrible," he finally choked out. "I have plenty of objections to that one."

"Then pick another one who's equally offending?"

Tyki looked thoughtful for a moment before opening his mouth. "How about… You and that Kanda-guy you mentioned earlier?"

"Nuh-uh. We'd probably kill each other. Besides, we fight all the time."

"Well…" Tyki said with a smirk adorning his features. "You know what they say, the more they fight the better they get along."

"In such case the Earl and I would be best friends, if not in a paternal relationship," Allen replied, looking deeply skeptical about Tyki's reasoning. "Hell, I would probably be involved in an intimate relationship with not only you but at least half of the Noah clan…"

"Care to give it a try?" Tyki asked, sounding quite amused with the whole thing.

"Allow me to consider it," Allen replied, staying silent for a brief moment before speaking again. "Nope, definitely not. I think I'd rather go and snog Kanda, and that's a lot having taken into consideration that we hate each other's guts."

"Really?" Tyki said, sounding just a tad skeptical himself. "Did you know that there are women out there who'd kill to get a load of this?" he continued, pointing at himself.

"That's right…" Allen replied flatly. "Women. Most of them can be blamed for having quite bad taste really since so many of them have a thing for the debt-making womanizing drunkard that is… was… my Master."

"Master, huh?" Tyki echoed, tilting his head to the side. "Sounds just a little kinky, doesn't it?"

Allen immediately flushed, causing Tyki to break out in laughter.

"Along with your fear of drinking it really has you wondering now, doesn't it?" Tyki continued with a smirk. "Did he get you drunk beneath the table or something?"

"In case such a thing had really occurred then I would've made sure he'd be in jail for being a pedophile," Allen coolly replied, his face showing no trace of the earlier flush. "But let's not talk about me. Let's nominate the worst threesome there is… ever… so far at least."

"I nominate the Skin X Road X Earl. Disgusting."

"I nominate… let's see here now… Kanda X Cross X Earl."

"I haven't even met this Kanda-guy yet, but the sound of that pairing really makes me shudder… and not in a pleasurable way at all…" Tyki murmured, nursing his drinking glass.

"Understandable," Allen agreed with a shrug. "Though I still have this distinct feeling that there is one far worse out there…"

"Who cares?" Tyki replied, refilling his glass. "I have some serious mental scarring to treat and some seriously sick mental images to suppress…" he downed another glass before reaching into his pocket. "I seriously need to smoke some crack…"

"Druggie."

"I don't want to hear that from you."

"…"

"On second thought… weren't the rules of that game we had earlier that the loser had to serve the winner?"

"Something like that," Allen finally replied, giving him a slightly suspicious look. "You're not planning anything perverted, are you?"

"Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not," Tyki answered, taking a deep breath. "I was more like considering ordering you to go away and back where you came from and having us continue this odd conversation some other time…"

Allen blinked. "You want me to go back to the Order?" he asked, sounding a bit disbelieving. "And where's the fun in that?"

Tyki smirked. "The fun part is still ahead of us, Boy."

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