Once again, clueless authoress is clueless, but this was pretty cracked to begin with so who cares?

- o0o -

- Pheromones -

- o0o -

Allen Walker finally came to on an examining table, connected to a whole lot of machines supplying or monitoring God-knows-what. It was not a terribly good way to return to the land of the conscious, but at least Kanda was nowhere to be seen, which turned out to be quite a relief in itself.

Still, Allen's potential case of bad morning temper was not to be underestimated.

"I'm seriously getting sick of this," he said out loud to nobody in particular, restating his earlier opinion as he sat upright and began to remove various cords from his person.

The heart-monitor went flat lined and was plugged out, alongside the other machines monitoring God-knows-what as they all started beeping like some freaking alarm had gone off when he disconnected himself from them. The IV-drop was pulled out too, but with great care since Allen knew not to be careless when it concerned needles imbedded into his flesh.

It was around then that Bak Chan entered the room, flanked by both Wong and Fou. "Walker, we've finally figured it out."

Allen gave them a rather blank look, tilting his head to the side. "Figured what out?" he asked, "How to get my Innocence back together or what's wrong with me in general?"

"Both actually," Bak replied, "Because I'm such a genius."

In response to this, Fou hit him on the head. "Idiot Bak, get to the damn point already."

- o0o -

Allen blinked once, then twice. "Wait… what?"

"This lovesickness is likely the result of a pheromone like substance your Innocence currently emits into your immediate surroundings," Bak explained, pointing at various charts. "Meaning that the Innocence, which you nearly trashed by acting so recklessly earlier on by the way, somehow started producing these pheromones… meaning that people who are pheromone sensitive who are around you for any prolonged period of time is very likely to fall head over heels in love with you… when they're not trying to kill you of course."

Allen just stared at the man, fully convinced that the Branch Leader had somehow gone insane. He then looked at Wong and Fou for confirmation of their leader's failing sanity only to have them nod, showing that they somehow agreed with their leader on this one.

You have got to be kidding me….

"Walker, just think of the possibilities!" Bak Chan said, sounding disturbingly excited. "We could seriously use this pheromone producing ability in the war!"

Once again, Allen stared at the man like the man himself had suddenly grown two heads or something.

It's as I thought; the world has finally gone mad on me. Seriously, pheromones?

Allen thought back at that incident with Suman Dark, analyzing it thoroughly.

Seriously, even if Tyki's behavior back then during the whole incident with Suman Dark there were still plenty of reasons for the Noah's behavior, such as the fact that the man had basically been smoking pot and getting high. Now that was a perfectly good reason, at least in Allen's opinion, as to why Tyki had settled for playing cards with him instead of assassinating him as his mission stated. That much could be blamed on the drugs.

Then again, there was that thing with the Earl as well, the very man who'd ordered his assassination, who'd seemed quite okay with Tyki having brought him home alive once he'd gotten some flimsy explanations as to why. Now that, according to Allen's knowledge of the Earl's behavior, was not normal. And, seeing to the fact that the Earl did not seem intoxicated, Allen just had to blame this one on the other's obvious insanity.

Still, thinking a bit further about the events since he ended up here in the Asian Branch, Kanda had been acting just a bit stranger than usual, at least if one took into account the fact that the man had tried to murder him by asphyxiation by the use of lip lock last time he saw him.

"But on the other hand, why didn't you just breathe through your nose, idiot?" came the retort from his inner monologue, which had turned into a dialogue before he knew it. Odd.

Wait… since when do I have a second inner voice? Who are you?

I am your Voice of Reason obviously, you dumbass.

Allen considered it for a second.

Voice of Reason? What the Hell?

Thankfully, at least in Allen's opinion, there was no reply, which in turn meant that he wouldn't have to start doubting his own sanity for a while yet. So, finally feeling reasonably alone inside his own head again, Allen continued thinking.

Wait… various characters acting a bit out of character and some supposed mad scientist who tells me my wrecked Innocence has started producing some weird pheromones which makes people act in very strange ways simply because I'm around…

…

Tyki, you son of a b-tch… "The fun part is still ahead of us", my ass… How the Hell is this even remotely funny? I have a pheromone-high bipolar BaKanda on my ass who can't seem to decide on whether he wants to skewer or rape…

Allen's inner monologue came to a sudden end and he startled when he was suddenly enclosed in some improvised group hug by Bak and his two companions.

"Don't worry, Walker; we'll get you through this ordeal… you're safe with us…"

Allen's eyebrow twitched.

Okay, on second thought: screw that. I'm not buying this crap. The world, or at least the Order, has gone mad on me; seriously, even the Earl is saner than this.

- o0o -

Meanwhile, in the oh-so-secret headquarters far far but not too far away during the traditional Noah family dinner, the Millennium Earl sneezed. The Noah looked up in surprise at their leader and finally, after a couple of seconds, somebody blurted out a "Bless you", only to then become the very center of attention of everybody who was present at the table.

The Earl's eyes glinted dangerously behind his pair of round glasses. "Bless you?" he snarled dangerously through the clenched teeth of his ever-present grin. "Bless you?" he repeated, his voice quite far from the normal chuckling tone.

The other Noah exchanged looks with each other and some of them even sent looks of pity in direction of the family member who had spoken out of place.

Said family member, the ever teased Tyki Mikk, merely arched an eyebrow at the scene which was unraveling in front of him.

"The expression 'Bless you' is a thing commonly said to a person who sneezes," he finally explained. "Apparently it's an old custom meant to ward off the Devil which originated sometime during the medieval period… I think…"

The other Noah looked at him, some with curiosity and some with contempt, but what they all shared was the look which indicated that they thought he needed some sort of mental reevaluation.

The Earl just stared at the Noah of Pleasure for a couple of seconds before chuckling, "Is that so? Then allow me to take my hat off for you," he said and did so, revealing a pair of horns on top of his head.

"Bless you?" he then asked, clearly daring somebody to say something.

He was only met by heavy silence.

- o0o -