They are in Pucks room when everything goes silent. They know what they came there to do. He was a sex shark and she was a lizard, but today they just sat there unable to even tare the clothing from one another. Today they were just damaged bodies that were empty inside.
Vulnerability. It was something they had both loathed the thought of, something they both had no intention of feeling. So delicate they both were, so weak in their own right. What had become of the both of them? They were supposed to be strong willed, their darker thoughts were supposed to dominate, yet they always found a way to smoothen the road between themselves. Too much at stake to let their guard down, too much to risk to actually feel something. But what good would ignoring do?
She craved the feeling like a bad habit. She needed the blonde in her life, and him he only wanted one girl. Putting on her best bitch face was getting tiring, and she just decided to stop faking it. Hiding the truth behind her little comments, she let the lie take over, the lie that she was okay when really she was eons away from the meaning of the word. She lets out a deep sigh, almost to fill the air with something other than the silence. If their was any sound in the room it would probably be the self hatred of her own breathing and the beat of her heart that continued to work even though it obviously had no reason to anymore.
Puck could tell. He knew something was wrong with her. He wishes he cared about her sometimes. He wishes he could do something to make her smile, but the truth was she didn't want him. She only wanted one person and her name was Brittany.
The silence seemed to be one of the most terrifying sounds he had ever heard, silence was what haunted him. The silence at the hospital when he gave away his child, the silence at school when Quinn didn't even say hi to him as if she had forgotten they had a baby together. Puck's thoughts of Quinn and Beth soon disperse from his head as he feels her hand wrapped in his. He turns to her, but says nothing.
Santana is staring at him and she squeezes his hand a little, almost to convince herself that they aren't just ghosts floating through life without meaning. "It's not the same is it? My hand doesn't fit into yours the way they fit into hers." She says as she stares at the contours of his hand and how rough they are. His knuckles are bruised, probably from throwing kids into the dumpsters. They are nothing like Brittany's, Brittany's soft delicate hands were always kind and loving, and always lingering for skin. Sometimes Brittany would etch the words onto her arm like an imaginary pen, writing simple letters like L-O-V-E.
Puck knows its the truth. He and Santana will never fit together. They were both negative charges attracted to positives. He looks down and he wants to say something, but nothing really needs to be said when they both already know, they already know how much they deserve each other. How even though they don't love each other that they wreak havoc on everyone else around them and that it's just easier this way, it's easier to have this even if it's meaningless.
There only seems to be meaning when she's with Brittany, but maybe it is better this way, maybe she was never any good for the blonde.
Puck squeezes lightly almost assuring her of her own thoughts. With a heavy sigh he looks down, "For you and me, love sucks doesn't it?" He says with a certain truth in his voice that makes her cringe. Puck os in love with Quinn, but sometimes Santana thinks he will never be able to have her because he ruined it the first time, and it was partly her fault. I mean she didn't really have to tempt Puck so much with her sexts. But the very mention of love makes her feel uncomfortable and a little nauseous.
Puck implied that she loved someone, that someone being Brittany, but in her head all Santana could think was, I don't love her