THE NEXT DAY, AT SOME STUPID MEETING...
'HON HON HON I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE,' France shouted, scaring the shit out of everyone. (They were all making paper snowflakes, goddammit! YOU DON'T JUST YELL AT PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE MAKING PAPER SNOWFLAKES!) 'I HAVE BECOME ONE WITH RUSSIA!'
'NON-FUCKING-SENSE,' Germany said. 'HE PROBABLY RAPED AND BRAINWASHED YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. YOU SHOULD SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST.'
'I'm a psychologist, kolkol,' Russia said, smiling. Canada looked at his smile and immediately died.
'AWESOME HE'S DEAD!' America said. Everyone was confused. Someone died?
'I mean a REAL GODDAMN PSYCHOLOGIST, YOU VODKA-FUCKER!' Germany threw the table out the window in rage. (Not rape. RAGE.) 'ACH, MEIN GOTT! I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND DROWN MY SORROWS WITH WURST!' He grabbed Italy by the crotch, morphed into a jet, and took off. (All Germans can do that, yo!)
'So... what was that, France?' America said.
'Ah yes, Amerique, I have become one with Russia!' France said. Russia somehow took this as a cue to make out with him.
'GET A BLOODY ROOM,' England exclaimed, throwing scalding hot tea at them. France and Russia, through the magic of much-more-than-friendship, had put up an invisible force field, protecting them from the tea. 'OH BLOODY HELL. THAT'S JUST BRILLIANT.' He jacked a nuke from America's pocket and soon a whole wall was gone. Who gives a shit about radiation? 'GO WANK IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM!' With a puff of smoke, he disappeared.
China and Japan just sat there.
'... What just happened aru?'
'... I have no idea.'