Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.

Baby Makes Three- Chapter 2

The moment Jim arrived on the transporter pad Bones did a double take and scowled. He strode up to Jim and took the screaming baby out of his arms, cradling her and rocking.

Jim let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you, she wouldn't stop crying," Jim stared at him for a moment before he huffed, "Oh, so she doesn't cry with you. Isn't that great."

Bones glared at him, "Scotty said you were beaming up two but is this some kind of joke? Because it isn't funny."

Jim shook his head, "No, it's apparently my daughter. I'll need you to do a DNA test, by the way."

Bones shook his head, "A ship is no place to raise a child."

Jim glared back at him for a moment before sighing, "And where am I supposed to put her, hmm? You tell me because I'm very open to suggestions right now."

"I don't know, who's her mother?"

"Sarah. Remember the leggy brunette I was telling you about that had that wicked thing she did with her mouth?"

"No," Bones replied, "They all have something. With how many girls you've been through I can't say I do remember."

Jim smirked, "Yeah, well she was particularly good," he frowned again, "And she dumped the kid on me, she doesn't want the baby."

Bones shook his head, "I'm surprised something like this didn't happen earlier, frankly. Can you send the child to your mom or do you have any other family that would be willing to take her?"

Jim glared at him and nearly snatched the baby back, "My mother wasn't the greatest so there is no way I'm sending her my kid, besides she's on a mission for Starfleet too. And I haven't talked to my brother in years so the answer to your question would be no."

"And just how do you plan on taking care of her and doing missions at the same time?"

"I'll figure something out."

"Uhura! Just the person I was looking for." Jim smiled charmingly as he held the squirming kid.

Uhura looked at him, suspicious. "What do you want Jim?"

"Would you mind taking care of the kid? I have some, some…captainy duties to do."

"And why are you asking me this?"

"You're a woman, you're better suited to taking care of kids than me."

Uhura's face turned cold and Jim tried again, "Um, you're awesome?"

"No," she replied, "You're going to have to take care of the kid at some point instead of foisting her off on people."

The baby chose that moment to let out a wail and Jim winced, jiggling her up and down. The kid just cried harder.

"Come on, stop crying."

Uhura rolled her eyes and snatched the screaming baby out of his arms. "Really, Jim? Did you even check to see if she's hungry or anything?"

Jim looked at her, panic in his blue eyes and backed away, "I'll just leave this to you, Uhura." He sprinted away, yelling his thanks over his shoulder.

Jim made his way to the Sick Bay, the screaming child in his arms. He sighed, it was all she seemed to do around him. And people wondered why he was always letting others take care of her.

He entered and made his way to Bones, holding out the shrieking baby, "Please do something. God, she hasn't stopped crying since I got her."

"Then why'd you take her? I warned you about this, didn't I? It's been two weeks and all you've done is coerce other people into taking care of her for you."

"It's not my fault, Bones. Fuck, I have no idea what to do with a baby and honestly, does it seem like leaving one with me is a good idea?"
Bones' eyes darkened and Jim automatically knew that was the wrong thing to say, he tried to backpedal but Bones had had enough.

Bones growled, "No idea what to do with a kid, huh? Well maybe you shoulda kept it in your pants then if you weren't prepared to deal with this possibility. For fucks sake, Jim! It's a baby! She needs milk, cuddling, dry diapers, and some toys to keep her attention. How hard can that fucking be? The universe isn't about you so grow the fuck up. At least you get to be around your kid! So stop being a jackass and think about what it feels like when both your parents are absent or don't love you! And for Christ sake, give the kid a fucking name!"

Bones snatched the kid out of lax arms and cooed softly at her, getting a bottle of milk from the replicator. He sat down and started feeding her before looking up at Jim with angry green eyes. "Get out."

Jim paled and stared at him for a moment. When Bones didn't take back his words or say anything else, he blinked, nodded, and shakily made his way out the door back to his quarters. He took out his PADD and pulled up everything he could find about taking care of children and read long into the night.

A/N: If anyone that has knowledge of Star Trek would like to beta this please let me know.