Aaaaahhh! I passed, I passed! YAAAY ME!
Now I finally have time to post some chapters again. I swear, I was that close to being kicked out, but ... phew!
Okay, next month I'll be in the same shitty situation, but at least it won't be an 1,5 hour oral exam!
Gah, I'm rambling, just READ THE STORY!
He was leaning against the trunk of his car, arms crossed, watching the girl as she came out of the big double doors, chatting away with some other girls.
She couldn't be overlooked: her outfit stood out from the rest.
How could it not be?
School uniforms everywhere, and then a girl in blue jeans, red top and a black leather jacket. Come on.
She noticed him looking at her, but tried not to show that she did.
Stupid.
He could read her thoughts, of course.
The girls said their goodbyes to each other and Maddie cursed like a sailor under her breath while she made her way over to her brother, angry and annoyed.
"What the heck are you doing here?" she whispered fiercely.
"I came to pick you up as I always do," Edward answered, completely nonchalant.
"I told you that -"
"- that you are a liar?" he finished for her.
Maddie took a step back. "Woah, hang on a sec."
Edward walked over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for his sister.
"Madeline, you called me and said Carlisle would pick you up today, which is not true. Now get in the car so we can drive home."
Maddie just stared at him.
"Did Alice tell you?" she queried.
"No," he answered while still holding the passenger door for her.
She did not move.
"Come on, get in."
"Not until you've explained to me how you knew," Maddie demanded, her eyes narrowed into slits.
"You are the one that has some explaining to do, not me," Edward retorted and pointed into the car. Finally she moved and got in.
Edward shut the passenger door before walking around the car to get to the driver's side.
The moment he sat down in his seat, he eyed Maddie once more.
"And what are you wearing?" he asked, sounding appalled.
"Clothes. Gosh, you are annoying," she huffed while taking her cell out and opening it to type a message.
"I don't think you will be using that for a while. Or that 'shirt' if you can call it that."
She let her hand with the cell phone in it drop to her upper thigh and then looked at her brother in the most annoyed way possible.
"Huh?"
"Well, I think Esme will want to talk to you and the same goes for Carlisle when he comes home from work," Edward clarified.
"You called them, you piece of dirt," she said knowingly.
Edward steered his car away from the curb and sped down the street. "No. I only called Carlisle to check if you told the truth, he probably told Mom."
"Well great, thank you."
"Do not blame me. Had I believed you, I'd be in trouble now."
She let out a mocking laugh. "Oh, come on. You're never in trouble. You are like ... their golden boy or something."
Edward could have snorted with laughter. "Remember your finger?"
When she just rolled her eyes, he went on. "I'm older than you is all. I made mistakes, too, when I was your age. We all did."
"Can't you just drive home without me? Tell them I got detention or something."
Edward sighed. "I will not lie for you."
Maddie shifted in her seat, then suggested with bright eyes, "Okay ... I call Mom and tell her that I have detention and that you know already. Problem solved."
With his eyes fixed on the street ahead, he just said, "No."
"Please?"
"Stop that. I will not lie to them."
"Fine." Maddie huffed, turned away again and went on typing a message.
They drove on without talking, so Edward put on some music.
But unfortunately, after twenty minutes they arrived home and Edward parked the car in the big garage right next to Emmett's.
Both got out and walked into the kitchen where Esme stood, waiting.
"There you are!" she exclaimed in relief the moment she saw Maddie and Edward, holding a hand over her heart.
Looking at her daughter, she then asked calmly, "Madeline, what was that all about, hm?"
But Maddie obviously did not want to talk, because she just walked on as if she hadn't heard or seen her mother.
Esme wouldn't have any of it, because she grabbed Maddie by the wrist and said sternly, "Sweetie, I have asked you a question and I do not like to be ignored."
She sounded neither amused nor happy about her daughter's behaviour.
Awesome.
Carlisle probably told her to be as strict as possible with her.
"Fine, I wanted to have some time to myself. Happy?" Maddie snapped then forcefully wrenched her wrist from her mother's grasp.
After a little moment of silence, in which Esme looked at her daughter with eyes that held bewilderment and Maddie just glared back at her, Esme spoke again.
"Do not take that tone with me," she admonished with a warning finger. "You could have told us and together we would have found a way. Do you have any idea how worried we would have been if you had left after school and no one knew where you were?"
Esme's tone had changed from stern to distraught while she asked the question.
"I happen to have a phone."
"And you would have answered it, yes?" Her mother questioned, back to being stern again. Then she noticed Maddie's clothing for the first time. "And what are you wearing? Where did you get that shirt, young lady?"
That was when Maddie decided she had enough of this ridiculous and just plain stupid talk.
"I can wear whatever the fuck I want, I don't have to ask for your permission!" Maddie yelled and stormed out of the kitchen.
"This conversation is not over yet, Madeline!" Even Esme raised her voice now, calling after her.
"Whatever!" Maddie shouted down the stairs, then vanished into her room and slamming her door shut.
Maddie slammed the door so hard that it nearly broke off its hinges.
That would be the seventh door she had destroyed.
Thank God it didn't.
Carlisle told her if she'd do it one more time, she wouldn't have a door anymore for a certain amount of time.
If you break it, you don't deserve it.
Okay, calm down, calm down.
But she was sick of it, so sick of it! Nobody let her have any fun. She had to spend all of her days at home or at school. Well, sometimes outside, but only with at least one member of the family. That was mostly for hunting, or maybe the movies but that couldn't be too late at night, because she was supposed to be thirteen. Why couldn't they just let her be the seventeen year old that she was? And why couldn't they let her at least go home on her own?
Argh, Maddie knew she would be in trouble now. She had tried to fool Edward, yelled at Esme and cussed; Carlisle would not be impressed.
But ... nothing happened, right? She was at home and not outside, she had yelled but was calming down now.
No biggie.
Throwing her backpack into the farthest corner of her room, she then walked into her closet and changed her clothes, just to busy herself with something so she wouldn't break half her room out of pure anger.
Then she lay down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling of her room.
Everything was so unfair and they expected her to accept it without complaining.
But she wasn't like that. And she had the feeling that it had gotten worse over the last couple of months and it was slowly but steadily driving her insane.
After half an hour of calming down and staring at the ceiling, there was a knock on the door.
She said "Come in." and added silently, "... you would anyways."
And there stood Esme ... and Carlisle.
Now that surprised Maddie and she sat up with a frown on her face. "Dad, what are you doing here?"
Carlisle, still wearing his coat, walked over to the bed and sat down next to his daughter.
"Esme told me you were very upset, so I took the day off to be here with you," he explained while cupping her cheek in his right hand.
Oh, how sweet.
"I'm fine," she answered and pulled away - just because she had calmed down didn't mean that she wasn't still annoyed.
"Maybe you would still like to talk about what got you so riled up today."
Maddie shook her head. "No, I don't. Wouldn't change anything."
"Try it," Carlisle encouraged his youngest daughter.
He looked like he really wanted to understand and Maddie figured that maybe this time it would indeed change something.
"Okay ...," Maddie said and exhaled. "I wanted to have some time to myself."
"That's what you told me," Esme, who was sitting on a chair next to the bed, confirmed.
"Exactly."
"Go on, honey," Carlisle said.
"Well, that's it." Maddie just shrugged.
Carlisle shook his head in disbelief while saying, "That can't be all. You lied to your brother."
Maddie rolled her eyes. "Oh, big deal, but I did not lie to you."
"Madeline, we are a family and trust is very important. It doesn't matter to whom you lied, it is still a lie."
"I see ...," she spat.
After giving her a scrutinising look, Carlisle asked, "Now tell us: Where did you plan on going today after school?"
Maddie bit her lip, then replied in a soft voice, "I don't know. Maybe to the park, or the mall or probably just home."
Maddie's response made Carlisle frown.
"Home? I am not following. Edward would have taken you home, just like he always does," he told her, sounding positively confused.
Maddie's head shot up and she looked her father straight in the eye. "And that's the point! You don't even let me go home on my own! I can't do anything alone, you treat me like a baby!"
Carlisle sighed deeply. "I see what is bothering you and why, but we explained to you that it is the only way for now."
"But I hate it, Dad!" Maddie's voice cracked a little at the end.
His expression turned into a pained one. "You cannot imagine how hard it is for me to see you upset and I would love to grant you your wish, but it is just not possible yet."
"But when is it then?" she asked with venom-filled eyes. She sounded desperate and frustrated and just completely and utterly unhappy.
Esme was next to Maddie in less than a second and hugged her close to herself. Over her daughter's head she looked at her husband with despair in her eyes.
They had turned her so she would have the chance to live a good life. A happy life.
But now here she was - miserable and sad - and they couldn't do anything about it but tell her to be patient. It would get better with time, when she would understand the necessity of pretending to be younger than she actually was and the frustration that came with that.
But the advantages far outweighed the disadvantages: They would fit in, have the chance of staying in one place for several years at a time and live a next to normal life. Have a home where they could be themselves and just live.
Maddie hadn't done that before unlike her siblings, so she had trouble accepting her role. To them it was a routine; they wouldn't change it because it worked and granted them normality and security.
"Darling, the time will come, but it is still too early yet. Can you understand that?" Carlisle asked while rubbing his daughter's back in a comforting manner.
"No!" Maddie said petulantly, her voice muffled by the fabric of Esme's pullover.
"We simply cannot take the risk. If you wish to walk home, we'll have someone accompany you."
Maddie pulled away from Esme to turn around and look at her father. "Argh! This is not about walking, it is about you not letting me do anything!"
Why wouldn't he get it?
Carlisle cleared his throat. "I understand that you are feeling angry, but yelling at us will get you nowhere."
Maddie narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath, before saying, "Then leave me alone."
"You want me to leave?"
"No, I want both of you to leave," she said through gritted teeth.
Esme went rigid, then slowly unwrapped her arms from around her daughter and stood up.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asked softly, worry written all over her face.
"No! It doesn't change anything, it never changes anything!" Maddie yelled, then turned away, not wanting to look at her parents any longer. Besides, if they wouldn't leave her room soon, she would probably throw something at them and she wouldn't even feel sorry for doing so.
Seeing that Maddie was clearly upset with them, they left to grant her some alone time. And to ponder about whether her actions today warranted punishment.
"Maybe we should tell Rose," Esme suggested when they reached the bottom of the stairs. "She could talk to her and explain."
"I'm not sure, she didn't ask for Rosalie."
"What about me?" Rosalie turned around on the couch, having heard Esme and Carlisle talking about her.
They looked at her, then Esme spoke. "Maddie is upset, I was thinking that maybe you could talk to her."
"If she hasn't asked for me then she just wants to be left alone. I'll check on her in a while," Rosalie said casually, then turned around again and continued to read the fashion magazine she had found lying on the coffee table.
"That would be great, thank you, Rosalie." Esme gave a sigh of relief.
"Sure."
Maddie didn't answer when she heard a knock on her door. She remained sitting on the floor next to the big windows, looking at the forest and the street, her knees hugged to her chest and her head leaning against the cold glass.
The next knocks were ignored as well.
Then the door opened. Maddie didn't look at the intruder, just kept on gazing into the distance.
"Maddie?" Rose asked, but didn't get an answer from her younger sister.
"Come, let's talk," she spoke again and walked towards Maddie who still wouldn't look at her.
So Rose knelt next to her, stroking her hair softly. "I don't like seeing you like this, please, just talk to me."
"Why," Maddie said with a voice that held no emotion whatsoever.
"Talking might help, you can let it all out. Shout, scream, whatever you like."
"No," she replied in the same dead voice as before.
"What is going on?"
After a moment of silence, Maddie said, "I'm sick of it."
Rose wasn't sure what exactly she meant, so she decided to guess. "Not being able to do what you want?"
Maddie snorted. "That is a minor problem."
"What is it then?"
When Maddie answered, increasing anger was detectable in her voice. "Having to do everything others tell me to, being observed all the time like I cannot be trusted with the simplest decision. Having no privacy whatsoever. That is my problem."
Esme and Carlisle wanted her home as much as possible, Alice saw her every move - her future - and Edward was always in her head. How could you not feel caged in then?
"It takes time."
"That's all I ever hear," Maddie scoffed.
"That is all we can tell you at the moment. Be patient."
"I'm not me anymore. I'm nothing."
"Don't say that," Rosalie said, not liking her sister referring to herself as nothing.
Maddie laughed without humor. "See? I can't even speak the truth without being scolded."
"You know you can tell me everything, just don't belittle yourself."
"Right, I don't have to do that. You have done it already."
"Maddie..."
Maddie whipped her head around and looked her sister directly in the eye. "What? You don't know what it's like! All you ever tell me is bullshit! You got treated like a grown-up right from the beginning. But me? I'm no different than a doll or a pet here," she said the words doll and pet with so much distaste, that it almost sounded vile.
Rose didn't say anything, because there was nothing she could say. It was true, after all - she had never been treated like Maddie was. But Maddie was a lot younger than her, wasn't she?
And telling her once again that it would get better wouldn't be very helpful at that moment - the girl was utterly frustrated and depressed.
It sounded as if Maddie's anger had turned to desperation then. She was looking at the floor when she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why did they change me? Why couldn't they just let me die?"
"Sshh, come here." Rose immediately wrapped her arms around Maddie, swaying back and forth a little in order to calm her.
"If eternity is like this, then I don't want it. I don't want any of it," Maddie whispered into Rose's shoulder.
Rose kissed her forehead, then let her cheek rest on top of Maddie's hair. "Eternity won't be like this."
Maddie pulled away to look at Rose with bleary eyes, asking, "How do you know?"
"I just do. Look. Half a year after you came back, you were allowed to go to school. That was a change, wasn't it? Before that, you had to stay home all the time."
"But school sucks," she said sullenly and fumbled around with the drawstring of her hoodie.
Rose wanted her sister's full attention, so she stilled her sister's hand with one of hers, which made Maddie look up at her again.
"That may be, but I am trying to tell you that there are indeed changes. Maybe they'll decide to let you stay home on your own soon, or let you go out with friends."
"I don't think so."
She sighed. "Maddie, don't be so pessimistic about it."
"So it's my fault now."
"No! Stop it!" Rosalie exclaimed and gave Maddie a light tap on the side of her thigh.
After a moment of silence Rose spoke again. "Would you like to watch a movie?"
"No."
"Come on, let's watch a Disney movie," she suggested.
"No! I don't wanna watch a movie and I don't wanna see anyone; I just wanna be left alone!" Maddie turned around again, to stare out of the window like she had before.
Rosalie hesitated for a moment, then said, "I just don't want you to feel lonely."
"How can I feel lonely? I'm being watched and babysat 24/7," Maddie scoffed without facing Rose.
"Yes, and that is why you feel lonely, don't you? Like nobody gets you?"
"Leave me alone."
Begrudgingly Rosalie straightened up and tentatively asked, "Are you sure?"
"Yes! Go."
"Maybe I can cheer her up," Emmett offered after Rose had told them that Maddie was still in a depressed mood and didn't want to see anyone.
"She wants to be left alone," Rose said again.
"Ah, she won't say No to me," he scoffed in response.
Rosalie crossed her arms and leaned again the counter in the kitchen. "She told me to leave. I don't think that you can change anything."
Emmett hopped down from the counter he had been sitting on and suggested, "Let's go to the store and buy something for her then, something to cheer her up."
Uncrossing her arms, Rosalie turned a little to face Emmett completely. "Like what? She is so depressed, I don't think a book or a movie would lift her spirits right now."
"Just leave her alone," Jasper said while closing the book he had been reading before.
"How about we go on a hunting trip with her instead of school tomorrow?" Emmett suddenly suggested with bright eyes, completely confident that his idea was a great one.
Jasper shook his head. "She wants to be left alone, a hunting trip with the family is definitely not what she wishes for."
Emmett frowned, trying to think of a different idea. "Can't you change her mood a little?"
Jasper laughed without humor and stood up from his chair. "No."
"I just don't want her to be sad," Emmett replied and made a face.
"Come on, she'll be herself again by tomorrow." Jasper told his brother encouragingly.
But she wasn't.
Maddie came down the stairs when she was called, ready for school.
She walked past her parents right into the garage and sat in the passenger's seat of her father's car.
Her eyes looked empty, like they had never seen them before. It concerned Esme more than anything, but Carlisle told her that he would try and talk to her. Everything would be fine by afternoon, for sure.
But when they drove off and in the direction of Maddie's school, she wouldn't talk. No matter what Carlisle said or asked, she wouldn't talk.
They reached the school but Maddie didn't even say goodbye, just grabbed her backpack and got out of the car.
Now Carlisle was concerned, too.
This wasn't a silent treatment to punish her parents.
Maddie didn't seem angry - she seemed broken.
Her behaviour didn't change.
Edward picked her up after school and told her that he would stay out of her head and she could talk to him if she wanted to. But she didn't. Not even his offer of making him unable to hear her thoughts piqued her interest.
At home, Maddie went straight for her room and closed her room door behind herself.
Nobody liked that she wouldn't talk and Emmett was getting mad. He had wanted to talk to his sister yesterday, but they wouldn't let him. And now she was sad and it was all their fault.
He stormed into Maddie's room, a new video game in his hand, but she didn't even look up or shout at him for just barging into her room without knocking.
Maddie sat curled up next to her window, looking out and funny enough, she was still wearing her uniform. She hated this clothing more than anything and changed the second she came home, always.
Today she obviously didn't care. She didn't care about anything.
Emmett's face fell and he didn't know what to say.
He looked around, then remembered the video game in his hand.
"Tiny? I bought a new game," he said and held it up for her to see.
Nothing. She didn't even look up.
He cleared his throat. "You'll love it, for sure."
Still nothing.
"I'll let you win," he offered with a smile - a smile she couldn't see because her eyes were fixed on the forest outside.
And she didn't reply.
Emmett let his hand with the game in it drop back to his side, a little sad that his plan hadn't worked.
"Um ... don't you wanna get changed? No offence, you look great, but wouldn't sweatpants be more comfortable?"
She didn't react, so he went on. "I'll get you a pair. Your favourite one is grey, isn't it? The one with the marker stain on it? Esme wanted to throw it away, but I know that you wouldn't let her."
He disappeared into her closet, only to walk out again a couple of seconds later.
"Yeah, this one, nice and comfy. I'll just put it on your bed, okay? And a hoodie. You get changed and come downstairs whenever you want. Then we'll play, all right? I won't start without you, okay? Okay?" But when she didn't answer, he just left the room.
"Jasper, please. Make her happy or angry or at least something unzombielike," Emmett begged when he entered the living room again.
Jasper shook his head. "That would be counter-productive."
"Does Alice know something?" he asked, then looked over to his right where Jasper pointed to.
"Oops, sorry, but I could swear you are getting smaller by the second."
She grinned at him, then crossed her legs. "I haven't seen anything."
"Really?"
"She didn't plan on behaving that way, and therefore she isn't planning on stopping it - it wasn't conscious. I think she is probably feeling like not talking and so she just doesn't."
"You don't see when it will end?"
Alice shrugged her shoulders, then shook her head. "No. Just let her come around on her own."
"She doesn't seem like she'll come around anytime soon. Not even a new game could cheer her up. Heck, not even I could cheer her up, and I am awesome at that."
Jasper looked at Emmett, sighing. "And that is what it's about. She wants to be left alone, and not even that is possible if every few minutes somebody barges into her room. Just respect her wish to have some privacy."
"That's enough!" Emmett shouted when he entered his sister's room a couple of hours later. Maddie hadn't come downstairs - not even the tiniest noise had left her room, so Emmett decided he had to do something about it.
At least Maddie had changed, but was still sitting by the window.
He walked up to her, pulled her into a standing position and threw her over his shoulder.
"We are going to play now, understood?" he asked and left the room, ran down the stairs and approached the couch in the living room.
Giving her a tap on the backside, he then carefully dropped her on the big couch and sat down with his back leaning against it.
He switched the TV and the game console on, then took two controllers in hand, passing one over his shoulder for Maddie to take.
When it hit the ground with a loud thud he looked behind himself with a startled expression on his face. He noticed Maddie sitting there with an empty facial expression, unmoving. She hadn't even reached out when Emmett let go of the controller, so it had bounced off the couch and fallen noisily to the floor right next to him.
"Tiny?"
Nothing.
"Mad?"
It was like she didn't even hear him.
"Come on, say something."
But when she didn't, he stood up and lightly slapped her upper arm.
"Come on."
She didn't do anything.
He seized Maddie by the upper arm then and shook her a little.
"Maddie, talk to me," he said.
"Let go of her, Emmett," Carlisle, who had just arrived back home from work, said from the kitchen.
When Emmett let go of his sister's arm, she stood up and walked towards the stairs, ascending it, and vanished into her room.
"What did you do to her? !" Emmett asked with anger in his voice when he heard Maddie's door closing with a soft click.
Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "I beg your pardon?"
"She wasn't like that before, what did you say to her to break her?"
"I don't think it is just of you to accuse us of breaking her," Carlisle admonished. He did understand that Emmett was concerned about his sister, but that didn't mean he could be disrespectful.
"Well, what else happened to her then?"
"She is unhappy," he replied while taking off his coat.
"Oh, really," Emmett scoffed.
Carlisle's tone had an edge to it now. "Emmett, we are just as upset as you are. I do not enjoy seeing any of my children miserable."
"Then do something," he requested, but trying to sound less rude than before.
Carlisle sighed. "Do what, Emmett?"
"She is distancing herself from us. Even from me. She has never done that before."
"Then maybe she needs some time to herself to think, wouldn't you agree?"
Emmett looked away, before facing his father again. "Does Esme have an idea?"
Esme was the most loving person you could ever meet ... she would know how to comfort Maddie, wouldn't she?
"I think she wants to leave Maddie alone for now. It pains her to see her that way, but there is only so much we can do. And you know your sister won't talk about certain things if she doesn't want to."
And so they didn't do anything.
Before I forget:
Jamie: I, too, think that Esme and Rose can be very strict, I just couldn't picture them spanking Maddie before. But if any of you have an idea what could make Esme explode and take matters into her hands to punish Maddie, then feel free to tell me ;-) I just need ideas for that! Or you give me some time to come up with something, your choice!
nameless reviewer: I didn't mean to leave you guys hanging, but I was reeeaaally busy studying my ass off! It probably would have taken even longer if I hadn't written the first part of this chapter a couple of months ago. But I'll try to update at least once a week again, promise!
patz13: I would love for Maddie to have a PS3, but it is '04 in this story, so ... not possible :-/
So? What do you think should happen next? Who will be able to cheer her up again? What will cheer her up again? Or will nothing cheer her up again?
I have two ideas, but they might be a little meh, so I am asking you :D
REVIEW and tell me!