A/N: In case you didn't already know, I started another story (because I'm an idiot.) It's from Maddie's POV during this story, because she demanded – I mean asked politely for it, so go check it out. Also, Maddie herself is writing her own fanfiction, because she was inspired by the amazing moi *bows* So go check that out; her pen name is LazyTeen95240. And about the last chapter; the little pessimistic voice at the end? It'll come into play later in the story. Sadly, I'm a mean person, and will not tell you how, so you'll have to find out (; I was just looking at Wattpad, and how many views and comments stories are getting there, and it just makes me feel like such an amateur. I don't know why, but I just feel so tiny in comparison or something. When I get that feeling, my self confidence begins to drop, and when my self confidence drops I start to get like Alex… So could you leave me a crapload of reviews to make me feel better? :3 Was that a ploy for more reviews? Maybe. But I'm not lying… This chapter is a little "emo" in the beginning because I was kind of in a mood when I started writing it. Now if you're not ready to kill me for my terribly long author's note, enjoy the semi-depressing writing.

*Later that night*

I lay, my arms and legs sprawled across my bed as I contemplated what happened today.

We'd hugged. It may seem like something insignificant, but it meant a lot to me. He made it impossible for anyone to get close to him, so even something as simple as a hug was a huge accomplishment. And it was so…comforting. I felt so protected in his arms, in a way I'd never felt before. Secure. Safe.

I smiled faintly at the ridiculous cliché. I wanted…

My thought trailed off. What did I want? I…I wanted him to know my secrets. To know if he knew what everything felt like as much as I did. To know if he harbored the same pain I once had. But you can't tell him. He'll definitely think you're a freak then. I frowned. I wanted to not be scared anymore. I sighed, as my eyes closed slowly. That was probably impossible. I'd been psychologically damaged, and I could fake my way through life and pretend I was perfectly normal all I wanted, but I was always going to be at least a little broken inside. I drew my covers up around myself, praying for sleep, so I could escape my thoughts.

I was in a dark room. No, not a room. It was just a…place. There was no other description for it. It was pitch black, and entirely void of anything. I could still see, though there was nothing to see. I crumpled where I was. I was alone. Again.

Tears escaped my eyes, and I then felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me. I raised my gaze to find Alex with me. His expression matched mine, save for the tears. He bent towards me slowly, to place a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth, as I intertwined our hands. He drew back all too soon, and began to back away from me, though he wasn't actually walking away. It was as if an unseen force was pulling him from me. My eyes grew wide as I tried in vain to keep him with me, but his hand was slowly pulled from mine, each of us stretching to stay together for as much time as possible. Then he was gone.

I felt like a part of me had been stolen, and I simply slumped to the ground, as the darkness consumed me.

I woke with the taste of saltwater on my lips, and blindly wiped at my eyes. My cheek pressed against the wetness on my pillow, and I felt even worse than I ever had. I almost never held the memory of my dreams, so why was it suddenly happening? And why with these horrible nightmares? I sat up, and suddenly became enraged. Why did my mind enjoy torturing me? Was it my fault I'd gone through that hell? Fuck no!I wrenched my sheets away from myself, and stormed out of bed. I immediately grabbed my phone and searched my contacts for the number I wanted, calling it.

It rang for an unbearably long time, before a tired voice came from the other side. "Hello?" He sounded genuinely confused. I smirked.

"Would you mind too much if you spent the day with me?"

Silence. "…Why?"

"Because." I answered simply.

"Well I can't argue with that answer," I didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice.

"Good. I'll be at your house in…however long it takes me to get ready."

"No. Um…it'd be easier if you didn't," I could almost hear him shifting uncomfortably.

"…Okay," I agreed easily; out of character for me.

"Okay. I already know where you live, so don't worry."

"Good. Wait, what?" I suddenly wondered if he stalked me or something, but I couldn't hold back the slight feeling of delight if he did. Okay, now you're getting weird, J.

I heard him chuckle softly, "Everyone knows where you live."

"Oh…right." It was true. Popularity kind of made things like your address well-known. "So, see you in…soon."

"Right. Bye."

"Bye."

(A/N: Hmm, I wonder who she could have called… *sarcastic voice*)

I skipped lightly around my house, going through my morning routine with an odd sort of cheer, my dream entirely forgotten. I'd been finished only a few minutes when a soft knock on the door sounded. I bounced down the stairs, not hiding my enormous grin. I wrenched the door out of my way, my smile growing surprisingly. He stood awkwardly, in a band T-shirt and jeans, his hair slightly disheveled as usual, his eyes downcast. At least he wasn't giving me a death glare.

I brushed past him, our shoulders touching briefly before he shifted away from me, as I walked towards my car.

"Shouldn't we take my car?" he finally spoke.

I turned to fix him with an odd look. "Why?"

"If people see us together, they'll think I kidnapped you, so as not to tarnish your rep."

Is he fu-freaking kidding me? I thought. "How do you know I don't want people to think I kidnapped you? But I suppose if your car's left here, there would be the ever-present question of what the neighbors would think," I added sarcastically.

He gave a soft smile, and walked to his car, waiting for me.

I sighed, and followed. It was very unlike me to give up without a fight, but I was still a little tired.

I was never very good with cars, so I couldn't really describe it as more than a black Camaro. It was shiny though. Really shiny; like brand new shiny. I stood in awe, and reached a tentative hand out to stroke it.

"Um, what are you doing?" He gave me a look as if he was questioning my sanity.

"It's so pretty," I said, not taking my eyes off the machine.

He chuckled quietly, and just got into the driver's seat.

I became aware of my surroundings once more, and slid onto the smooth leather seating. Okay, I was seriously jealous.

"So, where are we actually going?" He asked.

I hadn't thought of that. I stared ahead blankly, and said the first thing that came to mind. "Amusement park."

"…What?"

"We're going to an amusement park, now deal with it," I commanded. My expression dared him to protest.

"Fine," he mumbled, shifting the car into drive and speeding out of my neighborhood.

We sat in silence for a while, before I couldn't take it anymore. "How come you never say anything?"

"Is that a bad thing?" he responded emotionlessly.

"Yes."

He laughed humorlessly at that.

"It's just…you seem so broody all the time. Like there's always something bothering you."

He didn't respond.

"…Would it bother you if I said I was secretly a guy?"

He automatically burst into hysterical laughter, so much that the car swerved slightly. I laughed with him, glad he didn't seem depressed anymore.

"Do you always have thoughts like that just floating around in your head?"

I thought about it. "Yes."

"What are you thinking about right now?"

"…I'm not at liberty to discuss that information."

"Really?"

"Not unless my lawyer is present."

He laughed again, and I smiled, pleased that I could make him happy so easily.

We drove for a while, talking and laughing about nothing in particular, until we arrived at the amusement park.

"Yay!" I squealed.

"You really love these places, don't you?" Alex smiled crookedly.

I gasped, "How could you ask such a horrendous question? Who doesn't?"

"Me."

I fixed him with a wide-eyed stare. "Then I will make it my mission to make absolutely certain that from today on, you will always love amusement parks! They're freaking called amusement parks!"

"Fine," he smiled, climbing out of the car.

We skipped – well, I skipped while he calmly walked at my side – up to the gates. It was a Saturday, so the line was ridiculously long, but we just chattered away until we got to the front. We paid for our tickets and I walked with a slight bounce into the park. There was a scent of popcorn mixed with cotton candy and tons of other junk food. I heard the sound of people screaming on roller coasters and the laughter of kids on the smaller rides. I smiled.

"We're going on a roller coaster first!" I declared.

He opened his mouth, as if to object, but I latched onto his arm, dragging him towards the Vortex. We waited for what seemed like hours to me, and then got strapped into the ride. I giggled excitedly, turning to look at him.

I could tell his jaw was clenched, and he had a burning glare set on the area in front of him. He looked like he thought I was leading him to his death.

"Alex. You're not going to die."

"Says you."

"Seriously! It's fun, trust me."

His glare intensified.

"I can hold your hand if you're scared," I mocked.

He turned to look at me, with an indignant scoff.

The ride then lurched forward, and began its steady ascent. We stared at each other, an unspoken challenge currently waging. The ride reached its peak, then dropped. I threw my arms up, screaming in delight. The ride went through several twists and loops before coming to an abrupt standstill. I pouted. It had ended much too soon to my liking.

I then turned to look at Alex. He was wide-eyed, with a faint smile on his face.

"Fun?" I asked.

"I would normally disagree, but…yes."

I smiled at my victory, and we exited the ride, in search of more. We walked around, talking and laughing like idiots. Our proximity became greater throughout the day, and I realized we probably looked like a couple. Even then, I didn't miss the looks other girls were giving him, though he might have. I frowned, moving even closer towards him.

We – I – decided we needed standard junk food for the full experience, so we were currently sharing a bag of cotton candy. I pulled a tuft out and stuck it to his face, giggling like a 5 year old. He didn't see it coming, judging from his expression. He pulled it off and placed it in his mouth.

"Not cool," he said, looking at me darkly.

I screamed girlishly, and began running away. He chased after me, a piece of the fluffy food already in his grasp. Unfortunately, we ran right past the splash zone of a water ride right as it whizzed by us. I froze in shock, and he caught up to me, placing the quickly dissolving candy on my nose. "Gotcha."

I laughed at that, slapping lightly at his chest.

"Aww!"

We turned to see a group of girls – probably around the age of 10 – smiling at us. They turned away in a rush when they saw us looking at them.

We ignored it, and began playfully insulting each others' appearances as we walked towards another ride, both soaking wet.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"So, do you still not like amusement parks?"

He deliberated. "No."

I slapped his arm.

"Okay, yes, I like them." He chuckled.

"Good," I smiled, pleased by my success.

We were currently inside a McDonald's, as we hadn't eaten any real food all day, and were both starving. He'd at first not wanted to go, because he thought I would have some sort of aversion to being seen with him. I all but cussed him out at that.

"You know, I don't see you eating this type of stuff," he said casually.

"There's lots of things I do that you wouldn't expect," I turned my words over in my mind, "That's what she said."

He gave me an odd look.

"And one of them is making 'that's what she said' jokes." I stated simply.

He shook his head, releasing a quiet laugh.

We pretty much devoured our food when we got it, with him surprisingly having no comment on my "unexpected behavior."

We finished scarfing food down our throats, and were walking out the door when a guy ran into Alex.

"Watch it," he barked at us.

"Why don't you, asshole?" Alex snapped at him.

The unnamed guy immediately slammed him against the wall. "You want to take back those words?" he growled.

"No, not really," he challenged.

That dumbass is going to get himself killed! I thought. "Hey, stop it!" I shouted, glaring at the unnamed guy.

"Oh, letting a girl fight for you? Nice," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, fucktard," I spat, "Why don't you pull your head out of your ass and leave before I castrate you?"

He stared at me in disbelief, which quickly shifted to anger, "Shut up, bitch!" I wasn't prepared for when he slapped me. My head whipped to the side from the impact, and tears stung my eyes. I looked back at him in fury. I was about to beat the shit out of him when Alex punched him right in the face.

He flew backwards from the sheer force, landing unconscious with a thud.

"Take that, you fucking dick," Alex spat towards the figure.

I stared at him in awe. That was certainly impressive if he could knock him out with a single punch.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his worried eyes examining the huge red mark probably covering the entire side of my face.

"I'm fine," I reached up to tentatively poke the warm skin, wincing when my finger came in contact.

"No you're not. Fuck, this is all my fault," he berated himself.

I snorted, "Your fault? It was my idea to come here. Hell, it was my idea to go out at all in the first place! It's far from your fault."

"No. if I hadn't said anything, this wouldn't have happened," his frown deepened.

"Well, it doesn't matter whose fault it was because it happened, and I'm fine, so forget it."

"You're not fine," he hissed.

I frowned.

He sighed. "Sorry, I'm being an ass again. I just…feel like I'm responsible."

"Well don't. You're not my babysitter, are you? There's nothing to worry about." I smiled.

He attempted a smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

"There's something else bothering you," I observed.

He didn't answer.

"Tell me." I commanded.

He sighed again. "…It's just…I feel like wherever I go, I seem to always have problems. That's why I don't like going places."

"I know the feeling."

He looked at me, doubt clouding his features.

"Don't give me that look. I do."

"Really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes. A…a while ago…I never left my house – well, my bedroom, really – unless entirely necessary."

"Why?"

I contemplated my answer, slightly worried to explain the exact reason. "…I…had problems when I went places, too."

He looked at me skeptically, "I have a hard time picturing Jamie Miller of all people 'having problems' every time she went outside."

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "Yeah, you're right. Let's um…just go home now," I started walking towards the car.

"Jamie," he called after me.

I ignored him, climbing into the car instead. I watched him come around the front of it, sliding into the seat next to me.

"Hey, tell me what's wrong," he looked genuinely concerned.

"Why? You'll just think I'm being melodramatic."

His expression momentarily became pained, "I'm sorry. I just have issues trusting people. I promise I'll listen. No sarcastic remarks whatsoever," he grinned apologetically.

I laughed at his expression, but it quickly faded. "It's a long story," I warned.

"I have time."

I smiled halfheartedly. "Okay," I began reluctantly, taking a deep breath, "When I was younger, in elementary school, I…was basically the opposite of who I am now. No friends, no happiness. Nothing. I spent every day wishing I would just die because I hated my life so much. Everyone hated me, and went out of their way to make sure I knew that. I had incredibly low self esteem, and absolutely no confidence. I always made sure my hair was covering my face, because otherwise I just felt…exposed. I walked with my head down, making sure I never looked at anyone; it was a useless attempt to have people just leave me alone. I cut myself with whatever I could find, and eventually I figured out how to get razor blades without seeming suspicious. I hated how I looked, and I stopped eating. I cried myself to sleep every night, and dreaded waking up. I just…when I got to high school, I was so desperate to not go back to that, I put my all into being popular…" I trailed off. I hadn't meant to tell him so much, but I just couldn't stop the flow of words. Now he knows the real me. He'll really think I'm a freak now.

He didn't say a thing, just pulled me gently against his chest. I curled against him as my tears flowed endlessly, staining his shirt. He didn't leave me, or push me away in contempt, and the thought made me cry just a little more, though they were happy tears. We just sat there silently, with the occasional sniffle from me, as he stroked my hair. It comforted me for some odd reason, and I drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Tear, tear. I did cry just a little. I was basically writing about how I felt all the time when I went through that. Like I said at the start of this story, this was a self-insert. Now away from my depressing comments! I keep having my MCs have little hug scenes, 'cause they're just so cute w You all were probably hoping for romance *cough* Maddie *cough* but these guys are both damaged goods, so it'll take some time for them to open up enough for that. Think about it, if you spent years of your life thinking no one could ever want you, would you just immediately feel comfortable enough to just start dating someone you've only known…how long? A few days? Just bear with me. Honestly, though the beginning and end were a tad bit heartfelt, I'm not so sure the rest was that great. But who am I? Just some person who constantly degrades herself. If you care enough to leave a review, tell me what you thought about it. The options are: Most horrible thing I've ever read, Sucked, Okay, Good, Great, Most amazing thing I've ever read. Voting begins as soon as you click the Review button.