A/N: Ha, I think I jinxed myself. Because my muse decided to take a vacation...so instead of finishing by Wed., I only had 2 pages started! But it came back with a vengeance, to spawn this monster of an update! I could have separated it, but I liked it this way. So you guys get a two-for-one that hopefully makes up for the delay! :) Enjoy it...it'll probably never happen again, lol!
Lexie: that bet I mentioned regarding the eleventh-hour? I kind of won that one! ;P haha!
I don't own OTH or it's characters. Nor do I own the "'quotes like this'", only the journey I take them through and the mistakes you find, as it's not beta'd.
Chapter title comes from a lyric in "To Be Alive Again" by Journey.
Ch9: With A Song (To Help You Believe It)
"Testing, one, two, three..." Peyton drawls sardonically, practically flinging herself into a chair by her hospital bed, next to her dad. Larry was settling into his chair with the morning newspaper and a cup of coffee.
It was odd. Yesterday, when she'd wanted to leave the hospital room, she couldn't...not even through the freakin' door. Not until she had wanted and thought of her mom. She'd brushed it off when it happened, but after leaving Lucas' house and spending the night watching herself remain in a coma, Peyton decided to explore this limbo she found herself in. What she discovered, is that doors and windows were off limits. As were any places: like bedrooms, the bridge, the cemetery, the Rivercourt...
People seemed to be key. She'd been able to blink in and out to check on Lucas before he woke up this morning. She'd wanted her mom, and appeared at the cemetery before returning to herself. Trying her theory on her dad had made her laugh though...she'd popped up next to him in the hallway right outside her hospital room. She'd walked with him through the door, but had been unable to take a single step backwards to exit the doorway once inside. She'd slammed up against something solid that didn't truly exist. But when her dad stepped out again, she'd been able to follow. So she apparently was stuck by 'her' side, within those four walls, unless she was with whomever she'd wanted herself to.
Leaning forward to address her other self, she muses, "You know, what good is having this ability to just think yourself with someone, if it can't work on really important people?"
Like Dave Grohl. Or any of the other Foo Fighters. She'd tried all morning...with absolutely no luck.
Laughing lightly at herself, Peyton takes a peek at her dad. He's immersed in his reading, tired eyes devouring the random stories of life in Tree Hill. She makes a face when she spies a brief blurb about the female shooting victim who remains in a coma. Oh joy. Just what her dad doesn't need to read about at the moment. And what she doesn't want to think about, either.
Settling back in her chair, she eyes the clock, wondering if it's too early to go visiting. Probably. But she just wants to get out of the hospital room...it's depressing to be in there.
She drops her head back on the chair, saying aloud, "Where shall I go, Peyton Elizabeth? Luke's probably still asleep. I don't even want to think about what Naley are up to." She chuckles and makes a face at the thought. "And Brooke's—"
She cuts herself off mid-sentence, turning to her dad with a grin, before deflating at the recollection he can't interact with her. Well, that just ruined her lighthearted mood. Damn it. Sighing, Peyton stands, pacing to the middle of the room with one eye still on the clock. The minute hand had moved one whole millimeter since the last time she looked at it. Impatiently running a hand through her hair, she decides to just go for it; the worst thing that could happen would be for her to sit around somewhere else just as bored as she is now. And she really misses her best friend.
It takes a second for Peyton to shake off the disorientation, a grin spreading over her mouth at her surroundings. She's home, in her own room, with her own things. An uncharacteristic squeal of happiness escapes as she bounds over to her records, forgetting about limitations for a moment. Just until her hand passes through her albums like air, causing her to crash back down to reality again.
She's gotten a little spoiled being able to talk to Lucas. And she really dislikes these constant reminders about her situation...it's not like she doesn't know about it. Before she can really dwell on the issue, the bathroom door opens, startling her.
For two reasons. One, she hadn't been expecting it. Two, it was way too early for Brooke to be awake, much less out of the shower and dressed. But she smiles at the sight of the cheerful brunette, content to just tag along and see what her best friend has planned for her day. It'd be nice to pretend they were spending the day together.
"Brooke? Are you in here?" Both girls turn towards the bedroom door in time to see Haley enter with a hesitant smile. She gives a half-wave. "Hey."
"Haley." Brooke breathes out, moving to wrap her arms around the shorter girl.
She returns the hug, pulling away with a smile. "It's good to see you, too, Brooke."
"How're you holding up, Tutor-girl? I haven't seen you around all that much."
"Yeah." Haley grimaces slightly, gesturing with her hands. "Sorry about that. Nathan and I...we're just spending a lot of time together, you know?"
While she's talking, Peyton takes a moment to test her bed with her hand, oddly surprised to find it solid enough to sit on. She pulls her legs up, crossing them in front of her and watches the interaction between the other two.
She smiles when Brooke does, the brunette waving her hand at Haley's earlier words. "Good for you. After everything...well, you need that. Both of you." She grins, reaching over to grab something off the desk and give it to Haley. "Here."
"'What is this?'" Haley stares at her hand, confused. Peyton can just make out the key sitting on her palm.
"'It's my door key.'" Brooke shrugs. "'Actually it's your door key.'"
Haley offers it back, "'Brooke...it's your place.'"
"'Nah." the brunette says airily. "'It's always been your place.' And Nathan's. 'I was just keeping it warm 'til you came to your senses.'"
"Aww, Brookie, that's really, really sweet." Peyton murmurs, feeling touched at the gesture on her best friend's part.
She can tell Haley is as well, especially when she throws her arms around Brooke again. "Thank you. That—that really means a lot to me." She pulls back with a small laugh. "But what about you?"
Brooke's face falls a little, before she rallies and makes an attempt at a smile. "I'm going to stay here for a while. Just until Peyton comes home."
"You can stay after that, too, Doofus." Peyton pointlessly interjects, knowing neither one can hear her.
"Okay." Haley gives Brooke an odd look at the phrasing of that sentence. But she kind of glosses over that. "How are you holding up? With the Peyton thing?"
Peyton quirks her eyebrow, wanting to know the answer to that question, too. Brooke sighs. "It's hard, you know? To see her like that. I went yesterday, and just talked about things we've done, and stories about us as kids. I miss her. And I'm scared that she won't—"
When her best friend chokes up, Peyton has to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. She watches, feeling helpless once again at her inability to comfort her friend. But she's relieved that Haley's there to do it, to take the brunette in her arms and murmur words of empathy.
Brooke pulls herself together pretty quickly, dashing her hand under her eyes and wiping away all traces of tears. She gives a tremulous smile to Haley, "I'm not thinking that way, though. Only good thoughts!"
Haley gives a watery laugh, "Yeah. That's why I came, anyway. I wanted to know if you'd like company to go visit her today?"
"'Safety in numbers?'" Peyton chuckles, remembering when she'd tried to convince Haley to visit Luke in the hospital last year. Then she frowns with the realization she'll be going back to her hospital room for the morning. "Yay." She mocks, doing a little cheer wave of her hand.
"yeah, I'd like that." Brooke nods, seating herself on the bed right next to Peyton, who grins at the girl that can't see her. "When I went yesterday afternoon, it was just Larry. Kept him company for a while, but he left so me and Peyton could have privacy, or something."
Haley nods too, shifting to lean against the open closet door, right under her husband's name. A fact that makes the blonde on the bed roll her eyes, recalling the 'married-people limbo' phase of the couple. "I feel bad, that I only went to see her once. I guess I've just been caught up in my own stuff. Anyway, I stopped by Luke's to see if you guys wanted to join me, but he was conked out. So I tried here. How's he doing?" Haley scoffs, shaking her head at herself and continuing before an answer can be given, "I really am a horrible friend, huh? If I don't even know that much about my best—"
"Whoa!" Brooke interrupts, wide eyed. "You're not horrible. Just doing some things you need to. And I don't know how he's doing."
Peyton narrows her eyes at the brunette with a frown. How can she not know? Don't they see each other everyday? She focuses her attention on her best friend as the questions in her head happen to fly out of Haley's mouth. With a small glare, Brooke slides off the bed, moving to the desk to fiddle with the art work tossed haphazardly upon it.
"Brooke?" Haley prompts, when the other girl fails to give an answer.
Turning, the brunette shrugs casually, belying the tension creeping into her expression. "Luke and I broke up, Hales."
"What?" It's an echoed exclamation, coming from both blondes at once.
"The other day." Brooke explains further.
Haley moves to lay a hand on Brooke's arm. "What happened?"
And why hadn't Luke said anything about it? They had just talked last night, about a lot of things. And not once had he let on that something like this had happened. He must be devastated. Peyton ignores the tiny part of her that wants to smile at the fact he's single. It probably won't last, anyway. Brooke and Lucas always had drama going on. But they always get better afterwards.
She tunes back into the conversation when Brooke says, "...then he talked about us not trusting each other. I try to be there for him, but he won't let me. He said it was just too hard. And just like that," With a snap of her fingers, "We're apparently done."
Peyton grimaces. Haley makes a sympathetic face, "I don't think so. He loves you, but he's just going through a lot right now. Once he's able to stop and think, he'll realize he misses you." She smiles widely. "And I bet the two of you will be back to normal in no time!"
Brooke shakes her head. "No we won't. I thought about what he said, and he's right, you know? We didn't trust each other the way we should have."
"Why not?" Haley queries gently. She sits on the end of the bed, dropping her purse to the floor by her feet. Brooke joins her, causing Peyton to instinctively scoot over.
Her tone slightly dry, "Well, I can't talk for him...but for me, I think a lot of it goes back to what happened last year, with him and Peyton. And I just never really trusted that they wouldn't do that again."
The guilt kicks in with that statement, at what happened between the three of them. Peyton sighs, turning her head to study her best friend. And feels utterly wretched for not only sneaking around behind Brooke's back last year, but also for still loving him to this day. Not to mention, spending this time with him. She only hopes her situation didn't play a part in their break up...she couldn't stand it if it had. All the same, she refuses to be sorry for having Lucas during this time, for not having to be alone in this weird in-between.
"Okay." Haley draws out slowly. "But, that stuff can be worked on. It takes time to build up trust like that. Maybe you two need to give it that time, and not break up in the midst of emotional turmoil. Especially since I know you guys love each other."
Shaking her head again, Brooke half-whispers, "I do...but he—he ran back to protect Peyton. And I love him for that. But I can't help thinking..."
She trails off, looking down at her hands on her lap. Peyton clambers to her feet to face both girls fully, shaking slightly and trying to keep her breathing regulated. It sounds like it's all about to be dumped on her shoulders again. She can't handle that, not now. But maybe she's kind of masochistic, because she won't leave without hearing it, either.
"Are you...are you blaming Peyton?" Haley's incredulous.
"Oh god, no!" Brooke cries, looking horrified. She jerks her head to face the girl next to her. "No! Of course not! I just—I'm only saying, that I think he loves her. To do what he did..." Tears start welling in her eyes and her voice breaks, "How can he not?"
"Because he's a good guy, Brooke!" Peyton exclaims, hands flying in front of her, frustrated because she knows her best friend can't hear her. "That's just who he is! Why can't you see that?" She steps closer to the brunette, wishing she could make her listen. "The boy is crazy about you! So am I. You just have to give him that time Haley's talkin' about. He really needs it; trust me."
She ignores the painful squeeze to her heart at the fact she's trying to convince Brooke—who can't hear her anyway—of how much Lucas loves her. But Peyton loves them both; as long as they're happy, she will be, too.
"Brooke," Haley starts calmly, "Luke...he really cares about Peyton, we all do. He carried her out because of that. But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you."
"That's not all of it, though." Brooke interjects despondently. "It's the trust thing. I just don't...trust his feelings about either of us."
The petite blonde huffs out a breath, rising to her feet to amble around the room. "I guess I can understand that. You've all been through a lot."
"Yeah, understatement there, Tutor-girl." Brooke gives a watery half-laugh. "We had a—a triangle of hell, going on!"
Haley makes a face and offers up a sheepish smile before it spreads into a genuine one. "But then he fought for you."
That statement gives Peyton's heart a quick jolt, enforcing a fact she was already aware of. No matter what had happened between them in the past, Lucas' heart belonged to Brooke completely. It's only the brunette who refuses to believe it.
Brooke rolls her eyes. "Sure he did. But he never did the one thing I kept asking him to." A confused look crosses Haley's face, making Brooke look away shamefully. "I told him to stay away from Peyton. He never did."
"What?" Once again, it's an echoed statement. Peyton's stunned. And a little sickened. All this time, she'd thought she and Brooke had fully repaired their friendship. That Brooke was absolutely happy in her relationship with Lucas. And that Brooke was okay with Lucas and Peyton being friends. Apparently it was an illusion, a house of cards just waiting for a puff of breath. And here it was.
Haley continues, voice tinged with disbelief, "You asked him to stay away from her?"
"Not in those words exactly." Brooke fidgets uncomfortably. "But pretty much."
"Wow. I—I don't—I don't know what to say." Haley stutters, darting a quick look at Brooke before focusing her gaze on the closet doors. Gesturing towards them, "Does that have anything to do with these? I wondered."
Peyton turns to look at the doors too, Brooke's way of ensuring they didn't go after any of the same guys. A playful little dart at their history. That, in light of new information, wasn't playful at all, really. Collapsing onto the bed next to Brooke again, Peyton has to battle back a surge of emotion, devastated that she didn't know her best friend felt this way about her.
An uncomfortable silence permeates the room, neither girl knowing what to say now, both just staring at those lists written on the doors. The third girl unnoticed as she loses herself in a morass of confusion. It hurts to witness a conversation that never would have been heard if not for her unconscious state. She doesn't quite know what to do with this new information from her best friend. Or what this means for their friendship anyway.
Brooke breaks the tension. "You know, I thought if I could just joke about it, I wouldn't worry about it."
Haley nods, a look of understanding gracing her features, while the other blonde scoffs bitterly. "Yeah, that doesn't work. For any situation."
"But now what?" Haley questions. "I mean, you really can't put Peyton in that position this time. She's in a coma. And she didn't really do anything."
Peyton flinches. Nope, not a thing. Except maybe kiss the guy and confess that she loved him. And then turned it into a joke so she wouldn't have to worry about him freaking out on her while she bleeds to death. She really hopes that's not a reason her best friend got her heart broken.
The brunette flops backwards, staring up at the ceiling. "God, I really sound like a bitch right now, don't I?"
"Maybe just a little." The other girl teases gently.
"I don't mean to." Brooke shares in a murmur. "It all just hurts. And if you stop and think about it, all of us—me, Luke, Peyton—did it to ourselves."
The blonde in question tilts her head to better see her friend's face next to hers as they lay side by side. Brooke keeps going, "And the funny part is, we hurt each other in the long run by trying not to hurt each other at the start. Is that just stupid, or what?"
Haley walks over, standing so she's peering down at the other girl. "So you're saying, that if you guys had been less nice about it, you'd all be okay?"
Peyton raises her eyebrows at that one. She was always taught that no one ever lost a lot of sleep by being too nice. Apparently, there is such a thing as too nice. She can't suppress the highly inappropriate giggle that escapes her lips. A giggle that becomes a full out laugh once Brooke starts doing the same thing.
Haley stands there, nonplussed at the random reaction to her words. She nudges Brooke, who tries to calm down. It takes her a moment to control the giggles, breathing hard as she stares up at Haley's flummoxed face. "Well, miss Married-at-Sixteen, the rest of us don't move that fast." She heaves herself to a sitting position. "But I guess you can say that. I'm not sure. It does seem that way, though."
"Hindsight's 20/20." Peyton whispers, turning onto her side facing the other two. If she were to be honest with herself, she could see what Brooke might mean. If she'd just told her best friend that she didn't like the idea of her going after Lucas in the first place, maybe they could have avoided a lot of the mess they'd created. Not that Brooke would have really listened back then; she had loved the thrill of the chase. Luke was the first guy she ever kept after catching him. Peyton sputters out a laugh when a whimsical, half-forgotten rhyme enters her mind, "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe/catch a tiger by the toe/if he hollers let him go..." She can't help wondering what had made Luke "holler" enough. Or why these thoughts are in her head at all.
"Anyway." Brooke scoots off the bed, with an overly bright smile. "We were gonna go visit P. Sawyer today, right?"
Haley glances at her watch, "Oh! Yeah, I was supposed to meet Nathan there, actually. Once I got you two." She gives the other girl a sheepish smile. "Like, twenty minutes ago."
The brunette chuckles, looping her arm through the shorter girl's and tugging her towards the door. "Well, let's go meet up with your husband then!"
Peyton sighs, rolling over onto her back. Brooke just hid behind her cheerful mask again, and she's not sure what to think about it all. It's a lot to sort through. The important thing is that if—when—she wakes from her coma, she and Brooke start being more honest with each other. Their friendship depends on it.
Hearing the front door open, Peyton bounces to her feet, thinking herself to Brooke again. Then she's settling down in the backseat as they drive towards that damn hospital room, listening to a conversation between the other two about Karen's grief over Keith.
0.o o_o o.0
A sharp pinch to his foot has Lucas surging out of a sound sleep, his only thought bursting past his exhaustion, "Peyton?" Before he remembers that she can't touch him.
Confused, he forces his eyes open. The sight he sees is his mom, standing at the foot of the bed with pursed lips and surprise in her eyes. Her presence is both welcome and feared, since he's not sure where to go from the other day's encounter.
Lucas hauls himself to a sitting position, darting quick looks at his parent, not feeling prepared enough to face her just yet. When Peyton had told him to talk to his mom, he was expecting to at least have some time to muster up the courage he'd need for any sort of conversation.
"'He did a good job with you.'" It's a quiet murmur that pierces the tense atmosphere.
He blinks, eyes shooting up to meet hers, stunned by her words. She smiles softly at him, moving closer to where he's situated at the head of the bed. She briefly hesitates before seating herself right next to his hip, facing him. She reaches out, laying her hand on his arm in a comforting gesture. One that has him automatically covering her hand with his. He's missed this. He's missed her, being his mom.
"Ma—"
She lifts her free hand, index finger raised in a silencing gesture. He's been brought up too well not to obey the subtle command from his mother. Underneath the blankets, his free hand curls into a fist, an attempt to bolster his nerves for what's to come.
Gifting him with a small, sad smile, Karen takes a deep breath. "When you were born, and they placed you into my arms for the first time...I was scared to death. I couldn't believe that I was going to be responsible for a tiny little life, that I'd have to keep you safe and teach you how to be a good man. I didn't have a clue what I was doing!" She gives a little watery laugh, tears sparkling in her eyes.
Lucas swallows the lump of emotion trapped in his throat, rendered defenseless by the sight of his mom vulnerable. Bewildered by the topic and scared that he might not be able to handle it.
She continues in the softest tone he's ever heard from her, "It's amazing, you know. That you don't know how much you can love someone, until you meet your child. And watch that child become this...really good man, with a heart of gold."
His grip on her hand tightens, her image becoming blurred by threatening tears of his own, as hers start sliding down her face. She turns her hand under his, locking her fingers around his in a fierce grasp.
"I love you. More than anything. You don't know how...terrified I was standing outside that day. Not being able to tell the police what you were wearing. Not knowing if you were hurt or d-dy-ing—" She chokes, sucking in a sharp breath of air, persisting despite her difficulty speaking. "Not able...to k-keep you safe, like I'm s-supposed to—"
Control fails him, emotion overflowing his eyes, as he pulls his mom into a tight hug. She burrows her face against his shoulder, trembling as she clings to him. Her voice is hoarse and muffled, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you."
He rocks her gently in a side to side motion, trying to soothe. "It's okay. Shhh, Ma, it's okay...I'm okay...shhh."
They remain that way for countless moments, gaining solace from their embrace and peace from freeing the storm of emotions. Finally drawing back, she rubs shaky hands over her face and gives him a faltering smile. "I didn't mean it. Blaming you for Keith. I was just...so angry when I found out you purposely ran into danger, instead of staying outside, safe. So scared at how close I came to losing you."
Lucas nods slightly, turning away to scrub at his eyes. Looking back at her, he croaks out, "I had to, mom." He braces himself for a negative reaction. But he knows he did.
She surprises him by cupping his face with her hands. "I know." She whispers. It's barely a sound, but the conviction strong. "That's how Keith taught you to be. And he did a good job with you."
"I miss him." The words escaping his mouth in a husky mumble.
She uses her thumb to gently wipe a tear he hadn't known he'd shed, and compresses her lips to stop the quiver. "Me, too." Pulling him back into her arms.
Since he can't see her face, he feels more able to say the next words, "I'm mad at him for going back in, though. And not coming out again."
Her response is a strangled sob, and to tighten her arms around his body. He finds himself once again making shushing sounds and it's okays in a mindless litany. He's trying to stay strong, to be someone his mom can count on for support in her grief. He's trying to feel okay about being this vulnerable himself. But she's his mom. They're a team. And he needs her to make it okay.
When the tears are spent, she leans limply against him. "I'm a little mad at that, too."
"It's okay to be mad." He leans his head against hers, feeling drained but oddly lighter. "Peyton told me that. You just can't close everyone else out while you're feeling it."
Karen makes a little humming sound, straightening to a sitting position and facing him. "When she'd tell you that?"
"A while ago." He shrugs absently, inwardly chastising himself for bringing up a subject no one would believe. "Something she learned when she lost her mom."
His mom nods her head softly, exhaling a sigh. "When I was sitting with Larry yesterday, he said something about Peyton being the one to hold him together back then. His reason for trying to be okay."
Lucas tilts his head to the side, regarding her out of one narrowed eye when she stops there.
"That's how I knew I'd be okay...eventually." She smiles at him, a smile tinged with sadness, but one of love. "You're my reason to be okay. That's why I got mad, because I wouldn't know how to be okay if I had lost you, too."
He doesn't know what would be the right words to say in the moment. So he says nothing. It's a silence filled with understanding as he reaches out to clasp her hand with his again. He simply smiles at her as a weight falls from him, one he hadn't noticed until the debilitating burden was no longer there. He's still mourning. He's still sad. But this moment in time, he feels like things will be okay.
"Mom?" When her eyes meet his, he squeezes her hand, "Thanks. For talking to me."
She squeezes back. "Ditto." Rising from the bed, she lightly pats his knee. "It's still early, if you want to go back to sleep."
"Nah. I'm up." He stretches, flashing a dimpled grin and softly teasing, "I was never able to go back to bed after the toe thing."
She smirks, making her way out the room. Pausing in the doorway, she turns and studies him. "I'm going to check in with Deb, I think. Maybe stop by to see Larry later. Are you going to visit...Peyton?"
He raises his eyebrows at the way she says Peyton's name, but answers the question at face value. "Probably. Yeah."
"Okay." She says simply. "Give her my love, too."
Lucas watches his mom disappear from the doorway, a little confused by that last exchange. He shrugs it away, leaning against his pillows for a few minutes, going over his morning thus far. He was happy to see his mom being his mom again, even though he's aware the sadness won't ever fade completely. There will be good days and bad days, but simply knowing that his mom doesn't blame him for what happened, that their bond isn't broken...it gives him faith that they'll be able to weather all the days ahead.
And so far, today is a good day.
Pulling himself from the tangle of his covers and standing, he stops short at an overturned picture frame on his dresser. It's been there for the last few days; he's been unable to look at it. But maybe... Holding his breath a little, Lucas turns it over, gazing at the grinning faces of a much-younger family. A family that will never be the same. His family. But this time, the pain isn't crippling. It's sharp, deep and raw, but manageable. So he takes that picture and gives it a place of honor on his nightstand, to let that happy little family have their memory.
With one final small smile at it, Lucas makes his way out the room, intending on getting ready to face this good day. Before something happens to it.
0.o o_o o.0
Laughter fills the room, "...no, seriously!" Haley exclaims with a grin, "She did! She got up with me for sound check, and we're goofing off singing the chorus in I Don't Care and she's doing air guitar—"
"God, I can just picture that!" Nathan breaks in, grinning over at the unconscious blonde in the bed. "She always had some goofball moments!"
Haley mock glares at him, "Anyway, as I was saying—" A pointed look at her husband that has him smiling at her, "—when in walks the band we're imitating!"
"I would have just died! Right there on the spot!" Brooke giggles. "But know what makes it funnier?"
Peyton, who's perched on the end of the hospital bed, groans. "Please don't..."
But she does. "The fact that Pete Wentz totally flirted with her before their set!"
"You're kidding!" Haley's mouth falls open in shock.
Larry gives them both a weird look. "Who?"
"Some singer, or something." Nathan informs him helpfully. The girl sitting on the bed covers her face with her hands and groans. Not only at the conversation itself, but that Nathan got it totally wrong.
Thankfully Haley's there to correct his error. "I can't believe you just called him a singer! He's a bass player. And a song writer." Nathan just shrugs, completely unconcerned with the difference.
"Who?" Larry interjects again.
Brooke gives him a wide eyed stare. "Pete Wentz? From Fall Out Boy? Totally cute, by the way. And totally flirted with her."
"Thanks, Brooke. Thanks a lot." Peyton wryly states, watching her dad perk up with interest at the mention of flirting.
"Whatever." Nathan dismisses. "He's a rock star. He probably flirts with every hot girl he sees."
Haley rolls her eyes, "Or maybe he was interested in her."
"He was! I saw the whole thing."
"Was not!" Peyton protests with a smirk. "And you didn't even see anything, 'cause there wasn't anything to see!"
"Why are we even having this conversation?" Larry wonders aloud. "I don't think I want to hear about rock stars hitting on my daughter."
The two girls look at each other, both trying to muffle their giggles at a typical dad reaction. Peyton rolls her eyes, but looks on fondly. This visit was definitely going better than she'd expected. Being in that hospital room wasn't depressing anymore. It's actually heartwarming. She likes listening to the random topics of conversation that come up. She loves the fact that her dad doesn't look so beat down, that he's actually letting himself smile and talk about inane things.
"Okay, okay!" Brooke laughs, pointing at Nathan, "Your turn."
The boy looks over at the bed, fully able to see one blonde, but not the other. Peyton waggles her eyebrows at him, "Tell them about the time I totally kicked your ass at pool and you practically cried!"
"I know!" He smirks at the rest of the group in the semi-circle of chairs. "You know how the girl loves her sleep, right?"
A chorus of affirmatives and nods answer his question. "Well, when we first started dating, I used to come over in the mornings to walk her to school, since we didn't drive."
"Is this going to get...awkward?" Larry asks with a challenging tone. Brooke chokes on air, remembering how a large part of the Nathan/Peyton relationship had gone.
Without skipping a beat the boy cheerfully states, "Not at all! It's gonna get funny!"
"Well, tell it!" Haley half whines impatiently. Peyton just shakes her head. But she really does like this memory.
"Jeez." He makes a face at his wife. "Well, she wasn't easy to wake up. So I used to take one of her curls and brush it over her face 'til she hit herself."
A burst of laughter erupts from Brooke. "Oh my god! I have to try that next time."
"Don't even think about it!" Peyton playfully warns her best friend. "Or I will...do something...bad..." She rolls her eyes at her highly ineffective threat. For a lot of reasons.
"Wait. How'd you get in the house?"
The three teens share glances, silently agreeing to keep quiet about the fact that Peyton doesn't lock the doors.
"Spare key." Haley supplies.
Nathan picks it up, "One of us always had it. I think Brooke's got it now, right?"
"Mhmm." She agrees readily.
Larry regards them all suspiciously, but nods in acceptance.
"Nice one, guys." Peyton chuckles.
"Anyway, finish your turn, Superstar." Brooke demands, lightly nudging Nathan's foot with her own.
He grins. "Every time I did that, she'd give me this scary glare and come up with the randomest threats!" He chuckles, lightly shaking his head. "The best one was the time she told me that if I did it again, she'd whack me with a cannoli."
Larry and Haley start laughing, but Brooke looks confused. "I don't get it."
Peyton rolls her eyes. She really has to work on her friend's movie education.
"Don't worry, I didn't either." Nathan shares with a roll of his eyes. "She gave me the weirdest look when I said that! She was all like 'Dude, don't tell me you've never seen Godfather' then made me watch the entire set that weekend."
"Those are some great movies!" Larry defends good naturedly.
Haley nods. "Luke and I used to have marathons all the time, too."
"And I still don't get it." Brooke complains.
Nathan makes a face. "Jeez, you don't have to rush me, Brooke."
"Then don't be slow!" She tosses back, with a flutter of her hand.
He continues, ignoring her, "Yeah, I ended up really liking them. But anyway, Brooke, the thing in the movie is, after he whacked off the guy, he left his gun behind and took the bakery box of cannoli." He pauses dramatically before telling her the next part, Peyton chiming in to say it with him, "Since you leave the gun, the cannoli is the only weapon you have on hand when you want to whack the next person who pisses you off!"
She bursts into laughter, meeting the laughing blue eyes of one of her closest friends. When they widen, and his face leeches of all color, her laughter abruptly stops. They stare at each other for only a split second before Nathan squeezes his eyes shut tightly. She holds her breath, but when he opens them again, he just aims a confused look at where she's sitting. She watches him shake it off, feeling her heart sink. That was closer than he came to seeing her last time.
But she does notice the odd looks he shoots her way a few times, while letting the chattering voices of her female friends wash over her.
"Is that it?" Brooke asks, "'Cause it wasn't all that funny."
Nathan turns his attention back to the rest of the people in the room. "No, there's more. Me and her spent every lunch period for the next week sitting at the farthest table in the cafeteria, just us. The 'mob' table, the one that people can't sneak up on—"
"Where was I?" Brooke interrupts.
Haley snarks, "Probably chasing some guy." As soon as the words fly out, her eyes get wide and she sends an apologetic look to a stunned Brooke.
Larry clears his throat, and Nathan snickers. "You can't say that didn't happen."
The brunette sticks her tongue out at him, but grins at Haley. "Eh, you're probably right, anyway."
"No probably about it, B. Davis!" Peyton adds with a fond grin at her friend's old habits.
"I bought a box of cannoli, but we didn't really feel like eating them. So I got us in trouble when I kept trying to hit Tim from across the room, and ended up bouncing them off of people who kept getting in the line of fire."
"Dude, that's just wrong!" Haley cries with a snicker. "But it's Tim, so I get it."
Larry agrees with a grin of his own, "I get it, too. But I hope it wasn't a lot of trouble you got her in?" He spears the boy with a 'parental' look.
Nathan gives her dad a sheepish grin and shrugs. "We got detention. She spent all of it ignoring me and…coloring." He says the last part with a mocking sneer aimed at the hospital bed.
She merely shakes her head. "Oh, you'll pay for that when I do wake up."
"Okay, that was kind of funny." Brooke allows. "But not as great as my turn."
"When you told the story about almost burning down my house?" Larry drawls.
Haley mocks Brooke, emulating her affronted tone, "'One little smoke detector!'"
"Well it was." The brunette pouts.
Everyone chuckles, Peyton savoring the lighthearted atmosphere that fills the room. There's a moment of silence that falls naturally over the group as they come down from the subject they were discussing.
"You know," Haley muses, "I haven't really known her long. But I feel like I have, sometimes. She's become such a big part of my life in such a short time."
Larry smiles at her and then glances over at the hospital bed. His smile falters for a moment, which sends a ping of sadness through Peyton.
"Yeah." Brooke expands. "P. Sawyer can be hard to get to know, but when you do, you can't ask for a more supportive friend."
And maybe Peyton lets that smooth over the small hurts from Brooke's earlier words. Friendships aren't always cut and dried, black and white, right and wrong. They're usually tangled knots of all sorts of emotions. Especially friendships that have lasted as long as theirs has.
"Speaking of friends," Nathan butts in, "Anyone know where Luke is?"
There's a chorus of negative responses and worried looks exchanged. No one's seen him for a while.
Peyton stirs to her feet, deciding to just go and get him. It's not like it's that hard for her to do.
0.o o_o o.0
He'd taken his time in the shower, enjoying the rush of hot water sluicing over his skin. Until it suddenly turned icy. He hadn't enjoyed that part.
Turning his head to check the time, Lucas swears softly to himself. He'd taken longer than planned, wanting to get over to the hospital before Larry got too settled. And he wasn't even fully dressed yet.
Yanking a pair of jeans from his bottom drawer, he shoves one leg into them…only to trip over himself and nearly stumble to the ground at the unexpected appearance of a girl in his room.
"Oh, my god!" She warbles, half turning around as she dissolves into laughter. "Do you get dressed that way every morning, Luke?"
"Every time someone pops themselves in without warning." He shoots back, feeling his face heat up as he quickly pulls on his pants. Reaching for a T-shirt, he tells her, "I'm decent."
"You sure?" She teases. "You're not gonna suddenly fall over if I look at you?"
He rolls his eyes as he dons his shirt, his voice muffled when he jokes, "Just don't look too fast!"
Peyton faces him, rolling her eyes and scrunching up her face. But she stops when she goes to speak, tilting her head at him consideringly. He tries suppressing his grin, but he feels like his mood is fully on display anyway.
Green eyes widen at him. "What'd you do?"
"Nothing." He shrugs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and reaching for his socks and shoes. "Well, actually, I made a decision this morning that I wanted to ask you about."
"What?" She asks, testing the edge of his desk to prop up against it. Sighing in defeat when she passes right through the thing.
Lucas raises his eyebrow at her actions. "You do remember that you're…not solid, right?"
"No, here I thought everything else was turning insubstantial." The sarcasm makes him smirk, earning a small glare from the blonde standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. "What'd you want to ask?"
He busies himself with his shoelaces, "Jimmy's funeral is tomorrow. I'm gonna go…for support. With the rest of the guys. Will you come with us, too?"
He senses movement as she comes closer, looking up to see her crouch down to be eye level. She gives him a smile, "Of course I will. I'm really proud of you, you know that?"
"It's what Keith would've done." He tells her. But he's pleased she feels that way. Her opinion means a lot to him and he'd hate to disappoint her.
She stands again, watching him yank the knot into place and sit up straight. Biting her lip, she stares at him intently.
Feeling self-conscious, Lucas rubs his hand over his face. "What are you staring at? Do I have toothpaste on my face or something?"
"You look...different." She murmurs absently, narrowing her eyes. "Did something happen?"
"I took your advice. Talked to my mom." He grins at her, letting it widen when her expression lights up.
"Luke! That's really great!"
He nods. "Yeah. Went much better than I expected it to."
"I'm glad." He can hear the sincerity in her voice, and can actually see the happiness for him in her eyes. It makes him feel warm inside, so he takes the moment to savor the feeling.
A comfortable quiet descends between the two of them. It only lasts a few moments before she starts shifting her weight from one foot to the other. He spies her fingers twisting together in front of her. A nervous habit that makes him slightly uneasy.
Glancing up at her, Luke's startled to see an indecipherable expression on her face, completely opposite of her earlier openness.
"What happened with you?" He questions warily. Not sure he wants to let his good day go this soon.
She shrugs. "I overheard Brooke and Haley talking this morning."
She doesn't expand, and she really doesn't need to, because he knows what she's asking. He sighs and rises to his feet as well, "About the break up?"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She inquires, frowning at him. "I mean, with the timing and everything, too?"
"I think so." He runs a hand through his hair, pacing away a few steps. "Brooke and I…we tried, you know? But it really wasn't working the way I wanted it to."
Her frown deepens slightly. "Why?"
Lucas shrugs, not really sure what she's expecting. "Me, mostly." He's being as honest as he can, since he's not fully sure of the answer himself.
"Okay." She drawls slowly, blinking at him. "Well, if you need to talk…"
He grins. "Thanks. You really are a great friend, you know that?"
Something he doesn't understand flashes in her eyes. But it's gone before he can indisputably claim it had been there. It leaves him uncertain about whether he'd actually seen anything at all.
"Of course." Peyton smirks at him. "I'm an awesome friend!"
"Humble, too!" He retorts with a laugh.
She giggles—actually giggles. "I learned that from you, Lucas Scott!"
"Haha." He rolls his eyes, querying drolly, "What else did you learn from one of the greats?"
"This." She states simply, putting an expression of false seriousness on her face as she stumbles over her feet.
When their eyes meet, she tries really hard to compress her mouth, but the laughter rings out anyway. He joins in, even though embarrassment is shooting through his veins. He just knows he's never going to live that one down.
"Luke?" She starts, once her laughing fit has calmed.
He's leaning against his desk facing her. "Hmm?"
"What time tomorrow?"
He gives her a small smile, studying the clear compassion in her eyes. "Early. Eight."
She nods, obviously falling into her own thoughts. He continues, "Hey Peyton?"
"Hmm?"
Giving her a wry look at the intentional mimicry, before it melts into a genuine smile. "Thanks for going with me. I think…I'm probably going to need the support, too."
"Of course." She flashes him a grin. "Just don't talk to me. I can't be seen with you."
He squints at her, pursing his lips. But he can't help enjoying her unusually sunny mood. It seems to match his uncharacteristic one of this morning, too.
"Some friend." He intones sadly. "Abandoning me for the sake of appearing sane. Don't you want to join me in the insanity?"
"Anything for you." She mocks, rolling her eyes.
He laughs, bringing his hand to his chest. "Gets me right here."
Peyton narrows her eyes at him playfully. When a mischievous look crosses her face, he gets leery. "We're friends, right?"
"Well, yeah." He's startled into a quick answer, never hesitating.
"So we need a fight song. To describe what's going on with us right now."
"A what?" He questions dubiously.
She doesn't answer. At least not directly. She starts humming, and bouncing to the rhythm of her tune. It's when she starts singing that his mouth drops open. It takes a moment for the words to register, but when they do, he can't stop the fond amusement.
"Lean on me, when you're not strong/and I'll be your friend/I'll help you carry on/for it won't be long, 'till I'm gonna need/somebody to lean on!" She dances over, halting right in front of him and gesturing for him to join her.
He shakes his head, but she only raises her eyebrow, and gestures again. He caves. He can't help it. Adding his voice to the next verse and bopping around to the off-key beat they've created.
He whirls around, slowing his movements as he takes in the sparkling green eyes and laughing face of the girl who really is helping him carry a heavy load.
It's not an epiphany. It doesn't come like a flash of lightning, or hit him over the head. It's a subtle glow, a recognition and understanding of what's always been there. There's a reason he can tell her things no one else is privy to. There's a reason he seeks her out time and time again. She gets him. Understands the dark edges. Knows when to push and when to back away.
There's a reason he feels compelled to keep her safe and protect her. She makes him feel safe. Like everything he shares with her is handled with the utmost care. Cherished, no matter how tarnished he may be.
And he's in love with her.
A/N: excuse this as it's late and I'm tired. I don't own the song "Lean on Me" by The Temptations, used as the LP fight song. I wrote this in the last couple of hours, didn't really proof it as much as I should, so if you find any glaring mistakes...please PM them to me! :)
Otherwise, Hope you enjoyed it! Review and let me know what you're thinking!