Chapter 7

I don't know why I felt so strange about the whole lap dance thing. I mean, it was fun, my friends were having a good time, and I was grinding on the man that people would do anything they were asked just to meet him for a few moments. And it wasn't like I had a boyfriend at home to feel guilty about. There was nothing holding me back, seemingly. But still, why did it feel like I was doing something wrong.

Maybe it was just the look on Cory's face whenever I saw him. I wanted my dance to get him going, to make him look at me with eyes that practically undressed me… but was that what I really wanted out of him? In my weird little twisted way, I wanted to be with Cory, get married to him, have all of his kids, and live a very happy life together. I didn't want him to see me as this girl who would grind up on anyone at the drop of the hat… or ask of a question. Really, maybe it was just some weird guilt creeping up on me. Guilt that I had never felt before, because we had simply never done anything like this before.

I had walked into the house to get away from everything when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't want to turn around, because I wasn't sure what I would be confronted with. So, instead, I went straight for the collection of liquor bottles on the coffee table and I grabbed the first thing in my reach, raspberry vodka. I unscrewed the cap, and instead of looking for a shot glass or another cup like a regular and normal person, I took a shot straight from the bottle.

"What do you think your doing?" Dianna asked.

I spun around quickly, wiping the corners of my mouth with the back of my hand. "Nothing" I replied as I extended my arm. "Want some?" I asked, offering her the bottle.

She shook her head. "Want to talk about it?" she asked, nodding her head towards her bedroom.

I felt so bad that I just couldn't say no. I had to get this all out of my system, and maybe the alcohol along with it. I put the bottle of vodka down on the coffee table and screwed the lid back on top. "Okay," I muttered simply before we walked back to her bedroom.

And as we walked to her bedroom, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Darren and Chris toweling off and the rest of the group getting up from the floor, meaning that they were going to be coming back in at any moment.

Dianna led me to her bedroom, and it was actually adorable, and very different from the room that Cory and I shared. Dianna and Jenna shared the bedroom that featured two twin-sized beds with matching room furniture. Pink and purple sheets lined the beds, and a television sat on top of their dresser. Their small suitcases were both neatly unpacked and tucked away in the corner. This was clearly the room that was meant for the children staying at the house, and I give them credit for making the room look like it was suited for adults. She shut the door behind us, and I sat down on the corner of one of the beds.

"How awkward was that for you guys?" I asked as I watched Dianna sit down across from me. For drinking all day, she looked really sober to me.

She let out a heavy sigh. "Honestly, not awkward at all, since no one really knows how in love with Cory you are," she replied, which made me feel slightly more comfortable. "It got awkward when you left." And that was quick. I'm uncomfortable again.

"I didn't mean to leave and ruin the mood," I admitted. "The longer I sat there, the worse I felt. I should have just given Cory the lap dance when I still had the option of picking any guy I wanted. I'm pretty sure I would have been inside for a completely different reason then."

"For a cold shower?" Dianna asked, her lips curling up into a sweet smile.

I giggled, because she was so right. I would have been uncontrollable. "How did you know?"

"Can I tell you something?" she asked as she leaned across the space between the beds to close the gap. Her voice got quieter. "You have to keep it a secret."

I nodded quickly. This was going to be good… really good. "What is it?" I asked as I leaned in closer to her.

"I was watching Cory's reaction the whole time," she whispered.

Oh God, oh God, oh God! Why was she watching him, first of all, and second of all, why is she telling me this so quietly? I anticipated more from her, raising my eyebrows in surprise as I waited impatiently. "Well?"

She chuckled before replying. "I'm pretty sure he was into it. He was so focused on you and your body, it was actually kind of cute."

Cory Monteith was into my lap dance. He was into my body. HE WAS INTO MY LAP DANCE. Was this real life?

"Did anyone else notice his reactions? What were they like?" I asked quickly, but still in a whisper.

"I don't think anyone else did," she replied. "And I don't know how to explain them, it's tough."

"Show me!" I begged, desperate to know.

She shrugged before nodding. "Okay, so first, his eyes got all wide like this," she said as she widened her eyes and gave a small, tight-lipped smile. She didn't exactly look like Cory, but I gave her credit for trying. "And then there was this one," she continued, imitating Cory's 'hide a smile in your cup' face by drinking out of an imaginary cup with a bigger smile. "Oh! And then there was the awkward eye contact avoidance look," she explained, as she lowered her head and looked into my eyes, and looked away again, and she repeated this a whole bunch of times until I slapped her on the arm.

"What was that look at the very end after I finished my dance when I sat down?" I asked, hoping she knew the one I was talking about.

"You mean this one?" she asked as she gave me a small, half-hearted smile, almost exactly the one Cory gave me. I nodded quickly. "Well, that one, I'm pretty sure he wet his boxers, and that was his 'please forgive me for my mess' face."

I have to admit, Dianna was making me feel so much better. I just hoped that everything she was saying was the truth, and that she wasn't misinterpreting all of Cory's reaction faces. "So what should I do now? Go back out there and pretend like everything is fine and that I just came in here for another drink, or should I just get a new start in the morning?"

Dianna looked towards the clock. "It's almost three in the morning, and we've been drinking the entire day. I'm pretty sure everyone is going to start heading off to bed sometime soon. I mean, I'm dying for my pajamas, but I didn't want to be the first one to put them on."

I had to smirk. She was right. It was late, we were all blasted off of our asses, and it was just a long day that was filled with lots of traveling and excitement. Hard to believe that I was still home that morning and at how much had happened over just a period of about twelve hours. "Want me to be the first one to throw in the towel?"

"It'd be great," Dianna laughed as she got up off of the corner of her bed and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around her petite little frame. "Get some rest," she whispered in my ear. "Don't keep Cory up all night."

"I'll try my best." I pulled myself up from the corner of the other bed and walked over to the door. I took a short breath before turning the handle and leaving the bedroom, not really sure of what I would be walking into. I just knew that I wanted to get some sleep.