I had been feeling bad for quite a while, but I finally went back to the movies by myself. I saw this beautiful, red-head girl. She came up to me and let me cry on her shoulder. I suddenly felt better and could live without Johnny and Dally.

The End

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Just kidding. :B Here's the real thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Go away.

Of course when Darry got home he threw a fit. But he couldn't fool me. I could see the glint of pride in his eye when Soda told him the whole story. And he seemed to settle down after I cried "self-defense."

"Last time it was 'self-defense' three people died."

That startled me. At first I thought that the voice had just been in my head but when I turned around I saw Steve stretched out on the couch. Where had he come from? I hadn't even realized he came in.

"What do you mean?" Two-Bit asked what I was thinking.

Steve shrugged, sitting upright, "I mean last time Johnny killed out of self-defense. And in the end him, Dally, and the Soc he killed were all dead."

I stuffed my hands in my pockets to try and keep them from shaking. Consequently, the whole rest of my body started shaking instead.

Soda put a steady on my shoulder while he looked to Steve, "Why'd you have to bring that up?"

Another shrug, "Just a simple comparison."

"Well, no one's dying this time, okay?" I could barely keep my voice under control. I felt like screaming and whispering at the same time.

"Easy Ponyboy," Darry said, "No one said that was gonna happen."

I looked intensely at Steve and shook my head, "You're wrong. You're dead wrong."

I wasn't quite sure what I meant, even now, but I felt like crying. So to save myself from even more embarrassment I backed into my room and shut the door.

Why did everyone have to remember that? Why? I just wanted to forget. I needed to be back in control. Control.

"What's the matter with you Steve?" I could hear Darry say from the other room.

"Nothin'," Steve replied smartly.

"Kid's still not over it. Not that he ever will be. But he's still real sensitive about it."

"We all are. Maybe he should toughen up."

"Yeah," I said to myself, "Maybe I should."

I really didn't want to go to school the next morning. I really didn't want to wake up at all. And I really didn't want Soda and Darry telling me that Steve didn't mean it, or he was just upset about his breakup with Evie. I didn't care. What he said was true. No matter how much I didn't want to remember.

So my solution; I woke up early. I just barely remembered to scribble a note to Darry and then I walked to school. I walked down two streets before I doubled back. I had forgotten my backpack.

Finally I arrived at school. And though I left early I was still late to my first class.

During lunch I headed to the library. I didn't really want to be around anyone, just to get lost in a book. Lost in the thoughts of someone else.

While walking down the hallway I saw my track coach. He stopped to talk with me.

"Hey Curtis, tryouts tomorrow. You ready?"

I shrugged, "Guess so." To be honest I had nearly forgotten about tryouts.

"Better be," he said, studying me, "Randal's trying out."

Josh Randal was on the soccer team. I suppose you have to be pretty fast for that. But I wasn't too worried. Even if he made the track team, it didn't mean that I wouldn't. Even if he was better than me, it wouldn't mean that I wasn't good. It really all didn't matter. I'd never felt so much uncaring towards track. But right then I knew; it was just a game.

"Between you and me I think he's a pushover," Coach gave me a wink.

"Um, yeah," I muttered lamely.

Coach nodded," "See you out there tomorrow."

As soon as he left I finished my journey to the library. I didn't want any more distractions.

I roamed the short shelves looking for something familiar. I ended up choosing Great Expectations, which I had read for English at one point. I sat down in one of the hard, plastic chairs that lined the room and started to read.

When the first bell rang to warn us class was starting soon, I ignored it. I was entrapped by the book. When the final bell rang I looked up at the clock uneasily. I'd never skipped class before. I scorned people who thought they were too good for class. But this was different. I just didn't want to go. I'd go tomorrow. I had days and days of school to make up for it. For this once, it would be okay.

After school I stayed in the library. I was there until the librarian tapped me on the shoulder and told me they had to get everyone out. I looked around and "everyone" seemed to be me, a kid working on some sort of research project and a couple "studying" which consisted of kissing every couple of seconds. The librarian clicked her tongue at them and then let me know that I could check the book out. I smiled and declined. After all, I knew how it ended.

Author's Note: Sorry the update time was a while. I just got a new computer, so I couldn't write it or get anywhere to upload it even if I had it written, so yeah. Okay, the story's finally rolling into motion. I know, I know, lots of background. But I'm really trying not to rush. That always seems to be the problem when I write. I rush. So I'm taking my time. Quality. Heehee. Anyways, thanks for reading!