Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters.

BPOV

"I highly doubt that any of you are ready to be parents" Gladys said surveying the room. "I mean just look at the lot of you! Especially you." She locked eyes with Emmett who seemed intent on staring her down. I even thought I heard a little growl in his throat. It was hard to keep a straight face. "Parenting is like a war. You need to do things as fast as you can, as soon as you can or else you stand no chance of surviving. But after today's class, each and everyone of you will be able to handle anything your little stinker will throw at you. Is everyone ready for the most intense learning experience of your life?" I looked around the room slightly confused, and just a little bit scared. I looked up at Edward who was sat protectively by my side.

"What is she planning?" I whispered as quietly as I could. The last thing I wanted was to draw any attention to myself. Edward stared intently at Gladys for a few second before whispering back,

"I have no idea what she's going to do with us. She doesn't even know herself yet!" I bit my lip nervously. She already had it in for us because of what happened in Walmart a few weeks ago. So if it was going to be hard for everyone else here then it will be twice as hard for us lot!

"Okay people. Everybody up and find a workstation at the front of the room. Look lively now!" Gladys went into the corner of the room and retrieved a huge box full of – well, I don't exactly know what. She plonked it down in front of everyone's stations and removed the lid. "In this box is everything we are going to use today. Starting with this…" She pulled out a very scary doll, with one eye missing and only half a heedful of hair. "This is now your daughter or son for the day. I'm not really sure which, I can't tell anymore. Anyway, you will get a number of challenges to complete. When you have completed a challenge you will hear this noise." She paused.

A nervous looking lady in her early thirties sheepishly put her hand in the air. "Excuse me, but I don't hear anything."

"Exactly!" Gladys almost shouted out. "Silence. Because all the way through the tasks you will hear this." She held out a Dictaphone, turned up the volume as high as it would go and pressed play. The whole tape consisted of a baby screaming and crying. I put my hands to my ears to shut it out. I really could not deal with that this early in the morning. Gladys pressed the stop button so we could all actually hear ourselves think again. "Trust me, it will feel ten times worse when it's happening at three o'clock in the morning. On with the lesson!"

Edward put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear just as Gladys dumped our doll on our desk. "That is hands down the scariest baby I have ever seen. He can't have got his looks from his mother." I blushed and tilted my head upwards so I could see his face.

"I actually think it's a girl, hang on a second - " I lifted the hideous red dress the doll was wearing. "Yep, it's a girl."

"Oh. Really? Are you sure?" He asked, a confused look on his face.

"Check for yourself if you want to." I giggled and handed him the 'baby'.

"No thanks. I trust you." He placed it back down on the table.

"Your first mission, should you chose to accept it, is to change your baby's nappy. By the way, you kind of don't have a choice. Start your tapes now!"

All of a sudden the sound of angry babies filled the air. I tried to think about what I had to do. Firstly find the clean nappy, then put it on the doll, then I could stop this bloody crying. Okay, so where is the nappy? I looked around our station, I checked under the table and I even considered stealing the one from Alice's table next to me but she didn't seem to have one either. Everyone was looking around trying to find one for their own child. I looked up at Gladys who had a sly smirk on her face.

"Oh yeah, I've hidden the diapers somewhere in the room. You won't always have one handy, sometimes you have to search for them in the piles of baby clothes and baby toys. Go look for them then." She flung her arms back, gesturing – I think – for us to go and search. Before I got a chance to move, Edward had gently brushed past me and was halfway across the room. I was going to help him look, but I felt that I would be more of a hindrance than a help. I was lucky that I did stay because the rest of the group stampeded across the room, everyone looking for the same thing. Before I knew it a fight had erupted at the back of the room, two grown men fighting over a bloody nappy! It was then that I realized the two men were actually Edward and Emmett. A short wrestling match later, Edward returned triumphant.

"I totally had this first. And Emmett started the fight, not me." He stated handing the nappy to me. I nodded and made one of those 'uh-huh' noises whilst I quickly wrapped the diaper around the dolls bottom half. I then lunged forwards to turn off the tape. It made the room a little quieter but not much. I turned around to see Alice and Jasper proudly looking over their surprisingly not that ugly dolly. However, Emmett and Rosalie on the other side of me were the total opposite. Rose was beating Emmett with their baby as well as shouting at him about how he should have ripped the nappy out of Edwards cold dead hands. I hoped me and Edward would never get to that stage. It took about ten minutes for everyone to finish and by the time everyone had I was already ready to kill someone because of the freakishly loud baby crying! Gladys stood up from the chair she had plonked her butt in when we were running around the room searching.

"You think that was hard, just wait till you see the next challenge." She plodded over to her magic box and this time pulled out a night-light. "This time you have to get your baby to sleep, no matter how long that takes. There may also be a few surprises because babies cannot be planned. Sure you can plan to have a baby, but once that little sucker's out of you they have their own minds and because they can't talk, you have to guess what your baby is thinking. And that is hard." She plugged the light in and walked back to the center of the room. "I'll come and tell you when your baby is asleep. When you're ready, start the crying again."

I reached gingerly forwards and pressed the play button. Once again loud crying filled the room. I buried my head in Edward's chest whilst he rubbed my back. "It will all be over soon. Then we can forget all about this."

I wish I could believe him, but I knew I would never forget this. I also knew that it wouldn't be over soon. I turned around to pick up our child already willing it to go to sleep. I cradled her in my arms and rocked her back and forth and up and down. "Come on little baby. Go to sleep for mommy. Come on now, sleep." I was rocking and cooing and shushing for ages before I gave up the ghost and handed it to Edward. Well, I say handed, I really chucked it at him. "Here, take it. I can't do it." Edward only just managed to catch the baby's leg before it dropped to the floor. Gladys came marching over and picked up the screaming Dictaphone. She then wobbled over to Edward and thrust it in his ear.

"You here that? Babies don't like dangling from their legs. Sort it out!" She only stepped back when Edward was rocking the doll in his arms just as I had just been.

"Did she really have to do that?" He whispered to me as soon as Gladys was walking away.

"Probably not." I answered, "But at least we're not doing as badly as Emmett." We both looked over to Emmett and Rose's station where Emmett was being beaten by Gladys with his own doll.

"BABIES DON'T LIKE BEING DROPPED!" she was shrieking whilst simultaneously striking with the battered baby.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Emmett replied in a slightly high-pitched voice. Gladys hit him one more time for good luck then wandered over to another couple on the other side of the room.

"I guess you're right there." Edward chuckled. He took my hand and led me to a chair. "You sit down, I'll deal with the insomniac." I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, trying to block out the hysterical babies all over the room. My head was hurting more and more.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I stood up and said to Edward as I passed him. I just couldn't stand the noise anymore.

Needless to say I spent as long as possible just mooching around in the toilets. But then I remembered Edward stuck in there without me and felt guilty. So I wandered back to the hall. When I got there the hall was practically silent. I walked over to our station and saw Edward sat down cradling a silent baby.

"How on Earth did you manage that!" I whispered, not wanting to wake it up.

"What can I say? I have a magic touch with deformed plastic dolls. You want to hold her?" He held the baby out for me to take. I gingerly reached forwards and took the doll into my arms. I winced, half expecting it to start crying again but to my surprise It stayed quiet. Edward gestured for me to sit on his lap. I sat down slowly, moving as little as possible. I was doing it! I was holding the baby without it waking up! I felt a smile spread across my face. "Look who else has the magic touch." Edward kissed my forehead and I curled into his chest waiting for the two or three babies left to fall asleep.

After that the challenges seemed easier. I don't know if that was because I had more confidence in my mothering ability or because everyone else was worse than us. We had top bath the baby, without drowning it. We had to fed the baby, without the food being spat back in our faces. We had to baby-proof our workstations and baby-proof ourselves. By the end of class I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sit down and never get up again, well, at least not for the foreseeable future anyway.

"One last thing, before I leave you I want to share with you the top three couples who did the best today. And the death couple, so named because the baby they have will probably die from neglect or from general bad parenting. In my eyes, the couple that did the best today was…" Gladys paused for dramatic effect. There was silence in the room. "…Alice and Jasper Hale. You both did well on everything and, despite your young age, I think you will both make wonderful parents."

You could just about make out Emmett's voice shouting "Kiss-Ass!" from somewhere in the audience. Gladys chose to ignore the childish remark although I had a private giggle at it.

"Second on my list is Anna and John Jones. You are both more than prepared for every eventuality. Third, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, it was a bit of a rocky start but you managed to sort it out by the end. They are only my top three. I think every one of you did brilliantly today. Except the death couple, Emmett and Rosalie Cullen. You dropped the baby five times, burned it in the bath, you beat it with a dirty nappy when it wouldn't sleep and when I told you to baby-proof your workspace you told me and I quote 'We want our baby to make it's own mistakes. The only way to learn is the hard way.'. For the love of God get your baby adopted. If you don't do that I'm afraid it won't last until it's first birthday." The whole class turned around to look disgustedly in their direction. "Anything to say in your defense?"

"Actually yes I do. You are a sour faced old trout who thinks she knows everything. You're what? One hundred and sixty? Who are you to tell us that we would make bad parents? Well, I for one don't give a damn what you or anyone else in this room thinks." I whipped my head around to see Emmett pointing timidly at Rosalie who was wearing a rather smug smile.

"Okay. Now that we've got that sorted I want to wish the rest of you good luck on your adventure into parenthood. I hope to see you sometime in the future. For the last time, Class dismissed." Gladys seemed unfazed by Rose's remarks. I heaved myself out of my chair with great effort and waddled towards the exit.

"Ooooh." I doubled over just as we were outside. "Ouch." I mumbled rubbing my strap-on stomach.

"What is it now." Emmett teased as he strolled by. "You're baby kicking again?" I nodded and straightened up again.

"I swear that baby is trying to burst out of me. That was one hell of a kick." I moaned as I climbed into the front seat of the Volvo. Edward climbed in next to me and started the engine.

"Don't worry love, we're going home now." He said to me in that wonderful soothing voice of his. The voice that makes everything seem better.

I put my head back and closed my eyes, waiting for the car trip and the kicking in my stomach to stop.

Here's another chapter. Again, I appologize for it being late. Hope you like it and think it was worth the wait. Please comment and let me know :) Thanks! Byeeeeeee