Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters!

Another chapter from Emmett's point of view! Enjoy :D

EmPOV

"Quit walking around in circles Emmett, you're making me dizzy." Rose snapped from the sofa. "For God's sake! You stupid baby! Why are you crying!"

I stopped pacing and knelt down beside my wife. "Have you fed it?"

"Of course I have! Do I look like an idiot? I've fed it, burped it, changed its nappy twice and I've been rocking it for the past twenty minutes. What is its problem?"

"Why don't you give it to me for a minute? You can go outside and cool off for a bit." I grinned up at Rose who just groaned and shoved the crying doll into my chest. "Hey little buddy. What's the problem?" I asked, re-adjusting the dolls so that I was holding one in each arm. As soon as I had, it stopped crying. "Hey Rose! I made it stop crying!" I yelled, hoping she would hear me.

"It's not an 'it', it's a her!" Rosalie shouted back from another room. She sounded pissed. Maybe I'll just leave her to cool down or a bit. I looked around the room to find Jasper and Alice sat in the corner, fussing over their baby. See, why couldn't we be like that? It's not my fault that our children hate her and cry whenever she's near then stop when I take over. Kids just like me, what can I say?

"Yo, Jasper. Got any ideas for revenge? I have to get Lauren back for what she did to me." But I was just being ignored. "Hello? Have I turned invisible?" Still no response. "Fine, be that way. Me and my babies are going to have fun. And F.Y.I. you are soooo not invited." I stood up and stomped out of the room.

After mooching around the house for an hour, I decided to do something productive. I remembered that Jess and Lauren still needed to be taught a lesson, so I thought I'd go and pay them a visit. I asked everyone if they wanted to come, but they were all busy, either playing happy families *cough* Alice and Jasper, listening to their I-pods in their bedroom then turning the volume up extremely loud whenever I tried to speak *cough cough* Rosalie, sleeping or watching people sleeping *ahem* Bella and Edward. Personally, I found it a little creepy, but hey, whatever floats your boat dude.

Anyway, I ran all the way to Jess's house and waited under the window. I know what you're thinking – Emmett, that makes you sound like a creeper. Admittedly, yes it does, but I wanted to hear what they were saying before I formulated my master plan. I'm guessing the film had finished, as I didn't hear any stabbing or murdering from inside.

"I don't get why you even like Edward so much. I mean like, yeah he's hot and all, but he's like obsessed with whiney Bella Swan. Seriously, and he seems so boring! We never see him at party's or at the mall or anything, it's like all he does is go to school, go home and hang out with Bella." I recognised Lauren's voice. I stifled a laugh, I would have to remember to Edward what Lauren thought of him!

"Hey, that's not fair! He managed to get Bella pregnant so he must have some fun!" Jess defended her one true love. There was a moment of silence before both girls burst out laughing. "Anyway, I could say the same thing about Emmett. I know you're crazy about him."

"How could you not be? He's absolutely gorgeous!" I poked my head above the window ledge. I saw them both sat cross legged on the floor doing each other's nails. I was scared to hear the rest of this conversation, but I felt like I had to.

"Okay, he is super cute!" Jess agreed.

"You wanna know another reason I like him? He's a big guy, you know with all his muscles and stuff. And the bigger the guy the bigger his - " One of the twins slipped out of my arms and fell to the ground. Crap! And then it – I mean she – started crying her eyes out. Double crap! I put my hand over her mouth trying to quieten her but it didn't seem to work.

"Hey, is that a baby I hear crying outside?" Jess stood up and walked towards the window. Oh my God! Where the hell am I supposed to go now? I slid further down and pushed myself as close to the house as I could. If I could sweat, I would totally be doing it now.

"Is anyone there?" Lauren asked, her voice getting closer and closer to the window.

"I can't see anyone." Jess opened the window and leaned out. I pressed my hand tighter over the baby's face, willing it to shut up. "Lauren, what if it's the crazy guy? What if he's come to kill us?"

"Stop being such a sap, no-one's there." Lauren must have slammed the window shut because the whole building shook. But luckily, the baby had stopped crying. She was more like gasping now. Wait, babies aren't supposed to gasp! I pulled my hand away from its – I mean her – face and the gasping got heavier, like she was fighting for breath. Whoops! I almost killed her. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself though. It was really cool that the doll could tell when you were smothering it! I ran to the back of the house before it could start crying again.

Okay, so right now I had two choices. Option 1, go home. Option B, stay here and wind Jess and Lauren up some more. When I think about it, it really wasn't a hard choice! I'd make one last phone call from the killer, then I'd go home because I think my son had done something disgusting in his nappy. I whipped out my phone and dialled Jess's number again.

"Hello? Who is it?" Jess's voice was all high-pitched and shaky. This was going to be a cake walk!

"Hello Jessica. I think you know perfectly well who I am." I said in my scary voice, trying my very hardest not to laugh.

"Wh-what do you want?" I could just imagine her face. All wide-eyed and terrified!

"I want to see what your insides look like." I winced as Jess screamed down the phone. Wow! That girl had a set of lungs on her.

"Listen jerk! I have had it with your stupid prank calls and thinking that you can scare us. Either you hang up now or we call the police. Your choice." Lauren's voice was sharp in my ear. Couldn't she take a joke! She wouldn't really call the police though, so I called her bluff.

"By the time the police get here, you'll be long dead. Especially if you keep talking to me like that. You understand?" Woah, how was I thinking of this stuff? My mind is more evil than I thought!

"Whatever. You call again and Jess won't answer the phone, I'll let the police have the honour." And she hung up on me again! For the second time tonight! I knew when I was beaten.

I trudged back home, with the stench of defeat hanging over my head. Or maybe that was Emmett Juniors dirty diaper. I guess we'll never know.

Another chapter for you :) Hope you like it. Please review/comment. Any sugguestions for future chapters welcome ^_^ Hope to update soon xx