Two weeks.
Two weeks since that god awful day.
The shooting had everyone at the school still quiet and walking on shells.
Emma bent down infront of a memoral wall. There were flowers everywhere, and candles, cards, and pictures of the students who didn't make it.
Rick.
Jimmy.
Heather Sin Claire.
Emma whiped a tear that slipped her eye. It could of been her too.
She slowly stood up and sniffed, whipping her tears once more as a voice was heard behind her.
"Been trying so hard to reach you, Em... to find you..."
Emma shut her eyes but didn't turn. She needed him so bad right now but she didn't know how to say it. Besides, he probably wouldn't want her, he had proved that months ago so it was silly, her trying to find comfort in him.
"Emma..."Jay spoke again, begging she'd turn around and look at him. "I've been going crazy. Even your dad wouldn't let me come see you."
It wasn't a big thing, Snake wouldn't allow anyone to see Emma. Even he knew she was pretty messed up right now. Rick had wanted her dead and she had that gun right in her face.
Emma finally sucked in a shakey breath and turned to him. Jay was a bit taken back to how tired and sad she looked. He hated it, wanted to take her in his arms and-
"I just need to be alone right now." Emma said quietly. She seemed so helpless as she stared down. She crossed her arms and sort of hugged herself tight, like she was cold.
"Emma...let me take care of you." Jay whispered, stepping closer and she stepped back so quick it broke Jay's heart. He sniffed hard looking away and finally got the courage to look at her, "fine. But please, when your ready, come see me?"
Why can't you fight for me? Emma silently asked but just kept quiet and nodded at Jay before walking away.
"It's been two weeks since Degrassi shooting and we've finally found the parents of shooter Rick-" Spike turned off the TV so Emma didn't have to listen to it anymore.
Emma sat on the ground as her mom played with her hair, watching her baby sadly.
The door bell rang.
Spike whispered, getting up, "I'll get it."
Emma nodded as she stood up and just went down to her room. She was exhausted. She stopped when she went past the mirror and stared at herself.
She looked disgusting.
Hadn't slept in days. Barely eating.
Suddenly someone came down her stairs, Emma felt a bit of happiness as she turned, expecting Jay but found Sean. He was a bit sprinkled by the rain that poured outside.
Sean sucked in a shakey breath digging his hands into his pockets, "Hey Em."
Emma tiredly gave a small smile, he had saved her life. Maybe she owed him..something? And maybe he could help her problem of not being able to feel? Oh and that big problem of not being able to move on from a certain someone.
Sean went to her and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight.
After a moment, Emma wrapped her arms around his neck tighter and shut her eyes.
"Sean..." her weak little voice whispered, "I need you." she cracked out.
Sean swallowed hard but slowly pulled away to look at her. She stared back at him and then looked down at his jeans to slowly tug on his belt and unbuckle it.
Sean was still a bit confused, but with the weeks they've been having, he needed Emma too. Like REALLY needed her. He wasn't sure if she had that much of a craving, but they were both seeing some kind of eye to eye on this.
She sat down on her bed as he followed her to it, standing infront as she looked up at him and he adored watching her finish off his belt, throwing it to the side and then unzipped his jeans.
Sean grabbed her hands and she was thrown back on the bed as he crawled over her after shoving his pants down.
He crashed his lips down to hers and she stifled a cry but kissed him back, ripping up at his shirt that he pulled off and then ripped down her skirt.
She leaned up, throwing her top off as he leaned back down to her and kissed her again. He started leaving trails of kisses down her chest until she put her hand on the back of his head and he looked back up at her.
"Just do it." She pleaded so brokenly. With that, Sean thrusted his already hard member inside of her. She shut her eyes tight, it wasn't that painful but she wasn't really in the 'horny wet' state and it was only her second time..since...Jay had rejected her that one time..
Emma felt tears rushing to her eyes with the thought of Jay now. Pain, that's all she's felt recently. Flashes of Jay, and flashes of Snakes cancer, the shooting, all went through Emma's head.
Emma whispered into Sean's ear, "Hard."
And that's what Sean wanted too, he pounded into Emma and groaned, she felt amazing inside. He gripped her hair and kissed her hard. She just kept her eyes shut tight but grinded with him panting heavily. She wanted to cum, she wanted it hard because she felt weak, she wanted to explode and forget the thoughts in her head.
Meanwhile outside, Jay ran through the rain towards Emma's house, he was about to knock to remember Snake never let him in. He clenched his jaw but then remembered Emma's window. He ran to the side of the house and saw her light on.. but then he saw more than that.
He was drenched from the rain, and he looked like a lost puppy with a broken heart whose lost it's way and could never return home.
Through the window, Sean was on top of Emma in her bed, now under the sheets and slamming into her, he watched emma grit her teeth everytime he thrusted up in her and then they shared a hard kiss until Emma cried out.
Jay could even hear it through the sound of hard rain and he looked away from the window with madness and sadness at the same time in his eyes. His eyes looked black, and full of betrayl. His heart slowly broken into tiny bits of pieces too. He blinked heavily from the rain and ran a hand through his hair. How could she do this?
About almost an hour later thunder started to crack.
A sound of the front door was opening and Sean ran out into the rain and down the steps to his car. Jay still was there and he leaned against the side of the house, watching Sean dangerously as he left. He stood in the shadows and wasn't seen.
Meanwhile, Emma got out of the shower and back into her room, wearing a white tank top and black short shorts with her wet hair in a messy dampish bun.
She didn't even feel...anything, from that. Maybe a little pleasure and pain but nothing special or that good. She tossed her towel in defeat onto her bed when she heard slow and heavy steps walking down her stairs.
Emma looked over to then stop breathing. She stared at Jay as her mouth dropped a bit.
He looked like shit, like he'd given up on everything, or maybe like someone had died. He was drenched, like he just stepped out of a swimming pool and by the way he looked at her, she felt like he knew what had jusy happened.
How could he?
"What are you doing here?" Emma then asked, looking away and distanced herself by walking past him to stand on the other side of the room.
Jay just stared numbly at the ground where her feet once were.
He opened his mouth to say something but it didn't come out for a few minutes, "Remember when I said I couldn't do..it?" he asks.
Emma was at her closet and went through her sweaters to pause when he said that then swallowed hard, going through her clothes again. Of course she fucking remembered.
"I only meant that I couldn't, and I wasn't ready to sleep with you." he revealed, shaking his head slowly.
How could she do that? With Sean!
Emma was putting on a new sweater and dropped her arms when she heard that and whipped around to stare at him, he was still turned though.
Her mouth dropped. Wait... "Since when is Jay Hogart never ready?" she taunts. She's heard things, everyone heard things. He's done it with half the girls at the ravine, it was said when he first dated Alex she didn't sleep with him, so that's why he went to other girls until she finally caved in and begged him to.
Jay turned around and sized her up and down.
She stared at him wondering what was he was trying to say.
"Since I actually fell in love with you." he declared, and stared away from her, "I didn't think I would, but that feeling in my gut wouldn't lie and I tried to ignore it but when you..."
He sighed, looking at her, remembering when she laid naked under him, giving herself to him.
And when she leaned over and casually and happily kissed him? That made his heart and himself more happy then he's ever been in.. ever.
"Looking down at you that night, half naked a-and ready to be with ME? I didn't think you'd ever want that with someone like me." He said, his eyes staring into hers and watching as hers watered up, "And I wanted you, badly, yet.. I didn't want to ruin it so soon, I didn't want you to be like other girls because your not. When you kiss me..." drifts Jay shaking his head, not being able to explain that wonder but she got the point, "That scared me shitless, big bad Jay falling to the feet of little Emma Nelson? By just a kiss?"
Emma sniffed and walked only a little closer, 5 or 6 feet away. Her heart was doing things Jay had always made it do, even when she loathed him.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" her voice cracked.
"You wouldn't listen to me, I tried." His voice stayed steady and his eyes almost seemed to burn at her.
"I didn't know." Emma said taking steps over to him but noticed him back away, closer to the stairs again.
Emma's mouth fell, wh-what was he doing?
His eyes looked away from hers and mumbled, "You fucked him."
Emma shut her eyes as soon as he said it, her heart breaking all over again. "You don't understand, I wanted you- you- he was here and I needed to-" she was panicking when he started backing up and going up the stairs, she tried grabbing his arm but he yanked it out.
He went up a few stairs, rubbing a hand down his face and sniffed.
"Jay!" Emma cried, tears streaming down her face.
Jay stopped and turned halfway, looking over his shoulder to her and then looked away, "I loved you.." he then sadly snickered and walked up.
Emma noticed the past tense, loved. So he meant no more?
Emma crashed to the floor when she heard the door shut and bursted into tears, pulling her knees up and hugging them tightly.
"Em?" came a voice the next day.
Manny skipped down her stairs happily to then stop in her tracks when she noticed Emma still on the ground, dried up tears on her face, pitch red eyes from lack of sleep...and crying.
"Emma." Manny whispered and ran over to her.
She was up against the bed now at least. And she could hear Manny but she just stared at the floor and swallowed the hard lump in her throat.
Manny pulled her into a hug but Emma's hands stayed on her knees.
"Is this about Rick, Emma?" Manny pulled away and put a hand on Emma's shoulder and then cupped her face, "Emma, your scaring me."
Emma closed her eyes ever so tiredly and just stood up, to crawl into her bed.
Manny stared in awe, a bad awe. She's never seen Emma so destroyed. The blonde laid under her covers and silently started to cry.
Manny wouldn't leave her best friend, she got on to the bed and under the covers, she even held Emma tight as the blonde cried her heart out.
It wasn't long after her sleep that Emma finally told Manny everything. Including Jay.