A/N. My goal is to finish this before school starts up again on the 24th. So far, so good.

"Christmas is all in the heart, that's where the feeling starts. And like a fire inside, it touches every part, 'cause Christmas is all in the heart." - 'Christmas is All In the Heart' by Steven Curtis Chapman.

In the morning, Carlos is awakened by Logan shaking him gently by the shoulder. "Logan?" he murmurs sleepily.

"Carlos, it's almost 11:00!" Logan tells him impatiently. He sounds wide awake and excited. "I've been up since 7:30, but I wanted to let you sleep. We can-"

Logan is forced to tumble backwards as Carlos sits up suddenly and quickly. "11:00!" Carlos repeats in disbelief. "Logan, you shouldn't have let me sleep so late! Why didn't you get me up sooner?"

"Because," Logan says, his voice already quieter and calmer for Carlos' benefit. "You got up earlier yesterday and we've been busy. I knew you would be tired. Plus, it's Christmas break. You should be sleeping in anyway."

"I can sleep in when we're finished everything," Carlos tells Logan. He stands up and starts walking to the door, Logan close at his heels. "We should be finished today anyway. All we have left is the tree, right? Then we can do whatever."

Slipping on ahead of Carlos, Logan steers his friend into the kitchen. "We'll decorate the tree after breakfast. I made sausage and scrambled eggs."

"My favorite!"

Logan grins. "I know. It's only fair since we ate my favorite breakfast yesterday. I'm sure it's not as good as what your mom or dad make, but I don't think it's all that bad."

Carlos eagerly takes a mixed forkful of the breakfast food and gives Logan a thumbs up. "Tastes great to me!" he assures him.

"Awesome," Logan sighs in relief and then joins Carlos at the table, helping himself to some of the food. "I have a quick question, Carlos." he says, glancing around the corner and into the family room where the tree is.

Taking a sip of orange juice, Carlos eyes Logan over the rim of his glass. "What is it, Logie?" he asks curiously.

"Remember how I said that me and my parents. . ." Logan blushes a little. "How we used to. . . make an ornament ourselves every year?"

Carlos is nodding already. "Of course I do," he says. "We're going to make one this year too, right?"

Logan's blush deepens. "Yeah. . ." he says, trailing off. "I was just wondering. . . uh, what do you think we should make?"

Carlos prods his friend's plate, reminding him to eat, and then leans back in his chair. "I guess it depends on what you already have made," he says simply. "We'll look at it all when we're done here."

"Right," says Logan, nodding in eager agreement. "I hope we can figure out something simple to make. I don't think we have a whole lot around here. My dad probably has glue and stuff like that in his office, but. . I doubt we could make anything colorful."

"You never know," Carlos says with a shrug. "We'll improvise as best as we can. I think we've already proved that we're pretty good at making things up as we go along." As usual, his answer satisfies Logan.

"It'll be nice to have all the decorating done," he says as he takes another bite of food. "I mean, it's been awesome. But I'm ready to just hang out with you."

"Me too," Carlos agrees. "But just wait. The tree is always the best part." So their tree is a little pathetic. What does it matter? Like Logan told him the night before, it's not the things people do around Christmas that bring them joy. Or at least, it shouldn't be that way. It should be that people get joy out of Christmas simply by being with their loved ones.

They finish the rest of the breakfast in a hurry. Carlos convinces Logan to leave the dishes until later and they go to look at the decorations. There are two boxes. The first is fairly large and filled with traditional Christmas ornaments. Carlos and Logan take out a strand of cranberries, brightly colored balls, and an angel to top the tree.

The second box is much smaller. Carlos sits back and lets Logan sift through its contents. There are a number of beautifully homemade ornaments, but there is also a Baby's First Christmas, and family Christmas photo ornament, and even a First Christmas together one with both of Logan's parents. Logan stares at this third one for some time before carefully placing it on a strong branch.

"So," he says, his voice snapping Carlos out of his gloomy thoughts. "What do you think?"

Carlos leans over and looks closely at the handmade decorations. There's a snowman made from cotton balls, a Santa Claus made from red felt, and even a Rudolph. "How did you make these?" he asks Logan in wonder when several beautifully carved and painted wooden ornaments catch his eye.

Logan's gaze softens and Carlos knows the answer before he speaks. "My dad made these," he says, lifting a tiny Christmas tree up. "He used to carve things out of wood. My mom painted them."

Carlos takes a snowflake out of the box and turns it over carefully in his hands. It's so simple, but so beautiful at the same time. They all are. The shapes are perfect, the edges are smooth. The colors Mrs. Mitchell used to paint them bring them even more to life. "Wow," is all he can say.

"They're beautiful, aren't they." says Logan. It's a statement, not a question. Denying the beauty of the unique ornaments is impossible. "This one is my favorite," Logan adds, lifting an angel out. Instead of the traditional blue eyes and golden hair that Carlos often sees in representations of angels, this angel's hair and eyes are a dark brown, unmistakably a more personal touch. A lump rises in Carlos' throat and the realization hits him at the same time as Logan speaks. "It's my mother. He made it the Christmas after she. . . you know."

Carlos is surprised when Logan hands him the precious ornament. He holds it carefully in both of his hands and looks at it closely. It bears a startling resemblance to Logan's mother. In spite of its tiny size, he can see a kindness in the brown eyes and when he looks at the rose colored smile, he can't help but smile too. "Wait," he says, noticing something else. "Logan, what is she holding?"

Logan sighs and takes the angel back. He doesn't look at Carlos, but stare longingly at the angel instead. The silence is almost unbearable until he finally speaks in a slow, halting whisper. "Carlos, there's something I never told you. Or James. Or even Kendall. I don't think anyone ever knew except for me, my dad and mom. . . and your dad."

His dad? Carlos' mind is racing as he struggles to figure out what it could possible be. He cranes his neck to look at the angel again. She's holding a tiny wrapped bundle in her arms, gazing down on it with love in her eyes. "Is that a baby?" he whispers, his voice breaking slightly. Logan nods wordlessly and Carlos tries to ignore the nagging horror that is about to dawn on him. "Is it you?" he chokes out.

Logan shakes his head slowly. "Remember how we were all supposed to be at your house that day?" he asks softly. "My mom had to stop at the grocery store before. While we were in there, we saw a little girl with her mom and baby brother. I told my mom that I wanted a baby brother or sister just like that little girl and you and Kendall."

Carlos feels a little sick. He doesn't want to hear the rest. He wants to continue living on in complete oblivion. But he also knows that after nine years of bearing this heavy burden alone, Logan is ready to tell someone. He needs to tell someone.

"Carlos. . . I was supposed to be a big brother. My mom was pregnant when she died. I lost a little brother or sister that day."

Carlos claps a hand over his mouth, steeling himself against the oncoming tears. It all makes so much sense now. Logan's wistful gazes when he's looked at one of Carlos' sisters or Katie. The way he's always looked so sad when the rare subject of him having a sibling comes up. The way he never ignored his friend's siblings while growing up, even though the other three all did at one point or another.

"She told me we were going to name the baby Chloe if it was a girl. . . and Scott if it were a boy. We were going to call him Scotty." Logan traces the angel with his fingertip, letting his touch linger on the baby. "I was going to be a big brother." He starts to cry then, but only quietly.

Through his own blurry eyesight, Carlos manages to move to Logan's side and hug him tightly. He squeezes his eyes shut and holds onto Logan as his best friend shakes in his arms. "I'm sorry, Logie." he says mournfully. "I'm so sorry."

"I miss both of them, Carlos." Logan confesses. "How can you miss someone you've never even met?"

"I think I know," Carlos sighs. "My mom lost a baby when we were eleven." At the shocked look on Logan's face, he swallows the lump in his throat and continues. "It was early on in the pregnancy so no one really ever knew. They only told me and my sisters."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Logan whispers, wiping his tears away with his sleeve.

Carlos looks down at his hands and shrugs. "I guess part of the reason was because Kendall's parents got divorced around the same time." he says quietly. "Kendall always takes such good care of us and hardly thinks about himself. I wanted to be there for him just once. And besides. . . I didn't know how to tell anyone."

"So you know then," says Logan, looking sadly at the other bit. "You know what it's like to miss someone you never knew. You know what it's like to imagine what they would have been like if. . ." he trails off, knowing that Carlos really does feel the same way. And as much as it hurts him to know that his best friend has this terrible knowledge, Logan takes comfort in one fact: He's not alone.

"It was a boy," Carlos offers after a moment of silence. A gentle smile turns up the corners of his mouth. "I had a little brother."

"Have you ever thought about. . ." Logan seems to be struggling to put his thoughts into words.

"About what I would do if we didn't lose him?" Carlos asks. "All the time. One time I made a list. I'd teach him how to read, how to play hockey, how to swim, how to cheat at Life without anyone knowing. . . I'm kidding, Logie." Carlos smiles at the look that passes over Logan's face.

"Sometimes I wish I at least knew if I was going up have a brother or sister," Logan tells him. "But I guess I would do most of the things you would do with your brother. If we got to keep him. And if it was Chloe. . . I'd do anything, even though she would probably like girly things like dress up and tea parties. And when she got old enough, I would make sure that the boys would leave her alone."

"You would have been the best big brother ever, Logan." Carlos says quietly. "I know that Chloe or Scotty would have loved you and thought that they were the luckiest kid on the planet."

Logan offers a tiny smile. "I like to think that I would have been at least half as good as you and Kendall. Carlos. . . I'm really sorry about your brother."

"I am too." Carlos sighs. "I still miss him sometimes as crazy as that sounds. We never even had a name for him. My sisters call him Baby Boy when they talk about him, but-"

Logan watches Carlos, a sad light in his brown eyes. Then he stands up and carefully hangs the angel mom and baby on the tree before turning back to his friend. "I think I know what kind of ornament we should make."

"Here," Logan hands Carlos the finished product and steps back. "You hang it on the tree, okay?"

Carlos looks with a bit of pride at the ornament he and Logan came up with. It's incredibly simple, just a piece of soft blue cloth twisted into the shape of an angel. But it represents the little brother he never knew and that makes it the most beautiful ornament Carlos has ever seen in his entire life. "I love it," he says softly, stepping back to look at the tree. "Thanks, Logan." Now they all have their angels looking out for them.

"It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?" Logan asks. The lights are hung, the cranberry string is wrapped around it, but it's the ornaments that make it so special. Not just the ones that commemorate special events and bring back memories of happier times, but the handmade ones as well.

"It's the most beautiful tree I've ever seen in my life." Carlos replies truthfully. The tree has been transformed right before his very eyes. It's not something he'll ever be able to forget.

A knock at the door shakes them both out of their thoughts. Logan looks blankly at Carlos, wondering who it could possibly be. Their families are all gone and so are James and Kendall. Logan reluctantly leaves the tree and Carlos follows him to the door. Peering out the window, Logan suddenly smiles, and pulls the door open. "Hi, Luke!"

\"Hey, Logan. Carlos. Mind if I come in?" The young police officer who works with Carlos' dad on the force gives the two boys a friendly grin as he steps inside. "Man, it's cold out there! The house looks great though, did you boys decorate in here too?"

"We did!" Logan's eyes light up and he takes Luke's jacket, hanging it up before leading the way into the warm kitchen. While they walk, he starts telling Luke of everything they've done so far and how Carlos has thought of everything.

"Sounds like you've been having your own little Christmas," Luke replies with another smile. He rubs his hands together and blows on them to warm up his frozen fingers. "Sorry to interrupt, but I talked to your dad last night and I promised him I'd check up on you some time today."

"We don't mind at all, Luke." Carlos assures him as Logan puts water on the stove to make hot chocolate. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

Luke shakes his head. "Actually, if you haven't eaten yet either, I was going to offer you my services. I can make a pretty good grilled cheese."

"Sure, I think we have everything." Logan nods to the fridge. "Carlos knows where everything is if you need any help." As he speaks, he adds milk to the water and stirs it around, watching it closely.

Luke moves around the kitchen, glancing into the family room when he can. "I like your tree. The whole house looks fantastic. Have you baked too?" he asks with a teasing smile.

Carlos and Logan both start laughing. "We tried," Logan explains. "We made sugar cookies. I think we switched the salt and sugar by mistake. I'm also pretty sure that we messed something else up because they were really flat and hard. We threw the rest of the dough out."

Luke laughs with them as he sets several slices of bread on the electrical skillet that Carlos got out for him. "I'll have to see if you have the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. They're the only kind I know how to make."

"Logan always has chocolate chips," Carlos tells him, pulling out a bag from the cabinets. "He loves chocolate chip pancakes."

Logan blushes a little, but doesn't protest when Luke and Carlos both laugh. "What else do you need?" he inquires, adding the cocoa powder to the steaming liquid.

Carlos retrieves the ingredients as Luke names them and to their surprise, they do have everything they need.

"But first!" Luke says, sliding hot sandwiches onto plates and handing them to the boys. "Let's eat."

The chocolate chip cookies go much more smoothly than the sugar cookies. Cookies and hot chocolate makes the cold outside a lot more bearable. Carlos and Logan and Luke all move into the family room where Luke fully admires the tree and then tells the boys about Christmases he had when he was their age. "My mom made all of us go Christmas caroling every year." he laughs. "None of us could sing very well though so it was definitely a case of "it was the thought that counted" for us. It was fun though and it was something we did every single year. I think we all appreciated that."

"Carlos, we should go caroling!" Logan suggests suddenly. "I mean, I don't think we would sound that bad. Remember when we were twelve and James made us sing karaoke at the fair? Everyone seemed to like us." "

Yeah, but that was with James, and you know-"

"Oh come on," Logan interrupts. "We might not be as good as James or even Kendall, but it's not like we're auditioning for anything. We're just going to sing for some of our neighbors."

Carlos glances over at Luke who holds up his hands. "Don't look at me!" he protests. "I can't sing, trust me. Plus, I have to get down to the station." The boys walk Luke to the door and thank him for stopping by. When they close the door behind him, Carlos turns to see that Logan is still waiting for a response. "It's. . . cold outside?"

"Please, you grew up in Minnesota." Logan scoffs. "We've both been out in a lot worse. Come on, grab your coat and everything and let's go!"

"All right," Carlos relents. He doesn't say anything, but he honestly is a little afraid of singing in front of people. He doesn't mind people noticing him, but now when he's performing. That's more James' thing. It's cold outside, but like Logan said, they're both used to the weather. Fortunately, there isn't much wind and that makes it easier and almost pleasant. The sidewalks are for the most part shoveled, but the boys are wearing boots, so the going is never too tough. At first, they stand outside Logan's house, debating on their first move.

"I've never done this before," Logan says even though Carlos already knows. "Do we go up to the first house and make our way around the block? Do we just knock on the door and sing when they open up? What if they think it's too cold to keep their door open or stand outside? Carlos, maybe we shouldn't-"

"No way," Carlos interrupts, grabbing Logan's arm and pulling him along. "You wanted to do this, we're not backing out of it now." His own stage fright forgotten, he marches himself and Logan right up to the nearest house and then rings the doorbell. It's opened pretty quickly by Mr. Humphreys, an aging, retired bachelor. He's not the most cheerful person in the world and when he greets the boys with a scowl, they panic and start off their Christmas caroling by each singing a different song. Carlos is halfway through the first verse of, We Wish You A Merry Christmas when he realizes that Logan is singing, Jingle Bells. It gets even worse when both of them both switch to the other song. But gradually, Logan steadies out and nods to Carlos and then they're both singing, Silver Bells of all things.

At first Carlos is confused that Logan seems to know every song and then he realizes that driving with his friends during the Christmas season must give him just enough exposure. Really, he's very surprised that Mr. Humphreys' hasn't shut the door on them given their disastrous start. He actually looks like he's enjoying it now that they've settled in. Carlos forgets about his earlier nerves and sings along with Carlos, noticing with a little pride, that they sound really good together. James and Kendall aren't the only performers. We should do this professionally! he thinks brightly, before remembering that there is no way Logan is going to give up his dream of being a doctor.

"Thank you, boys." Mr. Humphreys says when they finish. "That was very nice. You should think about going to the nursing home and singing for the people there. I have some friends who would enjoy it very much."

Logan's face turns bright red and Carlos simply grins. "Thanks, Mr. Humphreys!" he says cheerfully. "We'll have to think about that! Have a good day and Christmas!"

"Well," Mr. Humphreys says with a smile. "I'm Jewish. But I'll be sure to have a good Hanukkah and you boys have a good Christmas, all right?"

Logan is clearly mortified beyond all speech and Carlos has to mumble an apology, which Mr. Humphreys graciously accepts. The door closes and Carlos grabs Logan's arms and drags him away, laughing nervously. "Oops."

"Carlos, I can't believe we did that! Look, he's not even decorated for Christmas! That should have at least been a hint!" Logan is freaking out, his brown eyes wide with disbelief, face still flaming with embarrassment.

Carlos can't wait to tell Kendall and James about it. "Logan, he didn't mind!" he tries to assure his friend. "The only Christmasy Christmas song we sang was, We Wish You A Merry Christmas. And we didn't even get all the way through that one! Jingle Bells and Silver Bells-"

"It's Christmastime in the city." Logan quotes with a groan. "Carlos-"

"Okay, but he appreciated it." Carlos insists. "Come on, he's usually. . . not that. . . pleasant. If he was really offended then he would have slammed the door in our faces. Maybe it's like Luke said. It's the thought that counts."

Logan is gradually relaxing. "Okay. . ." he says slowly. "But maybe we should only knock on the doors with Christmas decorations on. Or at least stick to songs like, Jingle Bells is we aren't sure."

"Happy Holidays?" Carlos suggests with a snort. "Whatever makes you more comfortable, Logie. But I'm sure it'll go fine from now on."

Fine is a relative term. It could mean anything. It could mean someone even grouchier than Mr. Humphreys slamming the door on them before they could get five notes out. Or it could mean the three kids that sang with them. But on the whole, as they walk back to Logan's house later that day, Carlos thinks it went pretty well. Just fine.

"That wasn't too bad," he says happily. "Much better than I thought it would go."

"I thought it was fun." Logan seems to have made a full recovery from the Mr. Humphreys incident. "We should do it more often. Like, um, Mr. Humphreys said, we should sing at the nursing home. When Kendall and James come home, we can all go. I mean if we're good at something like this, then why not use it for the benefit of other people?"

"James would probably let it go to his head and want to go to Hollywood even more than he already does," Carlos laughs. Logan laughs to and quickly unlocks the front door, letting himself and Carlos into the warm house. "Let's get more hot cocoa," he suggests before picking up the topic of singing again. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to do that. But for now, why not let people enjoy us for free? Maybe one day James will go on to bigger and better things, and then people back home can say he sang for them. I think that would be really nice."

"Who knows?" Carlos teases. "Maybe it'll be all four of us in Hollywood."

Logan just laughs again and shakes his head. "I don't know, Carlos. I'm pretty sure Kendall is dead set on being a professional hockey player and I feel the same way about being a doctor. You want to take over your dad's job one day, right?"

"Yeah, but we're still just kids." Carlos reminds him. "We don't know what's going to happen a year from now."

This time, Logan considers his words and then finally smiles. "I guess you're right," he admits. "We'll just have to wait and see."

A/N. Lol. I actually liked that ending. I hope you guys did too!