Disclaimer – Isn't mine.
Chapter 6 - Needing
The next few weeks passed in much the same fashion as the last, albeit with a vastly reduced number of howlers. Each morning Harry and Severus would walk, or in Harry's case limp, down the great hall and have breakfast before teaching all day, having dinner together at night and retiring back to Harry's rooms.
There was never any question of going down to the dungeons. As Severus pointed out, there were too many stairs. There was only one flight from Harry's to the great hall as opposed to three the other way.
Several nights each week after Harry had fallen asleep Severus would creep out of bed and down to his office, spending most of the wee hours of the morning bent over a cauldron as he tried vainly to find something that would help the man he loved. He would slide back into the bed just as the sun peeked up over the horizon, pulling Harry close to him and dozing off for the short time he had before they had to wake up.
Early October came and went, Severus trying a number of new potions in an effort to relieve some of the pain Harry was constantly in. The classes became easier and the students began to eagerly look forward to their DADA lessons. Poppy kept a subtle eye on Harry's condition through talking with Severus; both wanting to find that one thing that would help the young man.
Ron and Hermione came and visited several times and the Saturday two weeks before Halloween was spent in Diagon Alley as they were measured for formal robes. Saturday night they tried to have an intimate dinner only to be interrupted so many times by people wanting Harry's autograph, or to shake his hand or to sneer at Severus and ask Harry if he was mentally unstable for seeing the older man. Harry gave up, tossing his napkin on the table and retreating back to the Leaky Cauldron where they had arranged a room for the evening and leaving Hermione in tears and Severus and Ron glaring murderously at those in the restaurant around them.
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Early one morning about three days later Harry woke to see Albus' head in the fireplace requesting their presence in his office. He woke the older man and after dressing quickly, or as quickly as Harry could, they walked slowly up to the Headmaster's office.
They heard shouting coming from the open doorway as they rode the staircase up to the office.
'Dumbledore, he can't help with this.' Fudge's voice carried strongly.
'Cornelius, Harry is still a strong wizard, he is quite capable of helping with this.' Albus intoned soothingly, trying to quiet the Minister before the two men arrived.
'No, he's not. He's useless to the Ministry now. We need you on this.' Was the last thing said as they stepped into the doorway to find Albus, Fudge and four senior Aurors.
Harry softly cleared his throat, alerting them to his presence. Severus, his hand on the smaller wizard's lower back could feel him trembling although his face remained blank.
'Ah Harry, Severus, thank you for coming. Won't you come in and sit down.' Harry seemed reluctant to move and it took several moments and a soft whisper in the younger man's ear before Harry capitulated and moved towards some vacant chairs near the door. He refused to sit however, instead standing behind the chair. Severus stayed by his side and waited for the headmaster to continue. He could see the pained look in the elderly wizard's eyes that Harry had overheard the argument and Severus only hoped they Minister would be more careful with his choice of words from now on.
'Don't you want to sit?' Albus gestured to the chairs. Severus glared at the headmaster.
'No, thank you Albus.' Harry said softly.
'What exactly is going on?' Severus growled.
Albus shifted nervously. 'There was an attack in Surrey last night. By the time the Aurors arrived the occupants of the house were dead and the Dark Mark was floating above it.'
Severus felt Harry sway beside him and quickly put an arm around his waist to steady him.
'Who?' Harry asked hoarsely.
'We don't know who sent the mark up yet.' Albus said being deliberately obtuse.
Harry's eyes closed and he breathed deeply before opening them again. 'Who died?' he ground out.
'I'm sorry Harry. It was the Dursleys.' Albus said sadly.
Harry sucked in a breath, turning towards Severus to hide his face. Sure they had hated him but they still hadn't deserved to die. The thought that something would happen to them during the last war had weighed heavily on him but he had thought, with the death of Riddle, that they were now safe. The Fidelius charm he had put on them eight years before having been lifted when the Dark Lord died.
'Oh god, Sev.' Harry whispered.
'It's not your fault, Harry.' Severus murmured softly, knowing exactly what the younger man was thinking. 'You had no way of knowing.'
'They died because of me.' Harry whispered urgently, raising horrified green eyes to meet worried black ones. 'They didn't even like magic, or me, and they were killed anyway.'
The others in the room couldn't really see or hear what was being exchanged as they were shielded by Snape's tall form. 'Calm down, Harry.' Severus whispered soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down the smaller figure's back out of sight of all but Albus. 'Let them say their piece and we can go and talk about this more when we are alone.'
Harry nodded, his green eyes suspiciously bright and Severus turned back to the headmaster, still covering the smaller man from the stares of the other's with his body. 'Go on Albus.' He said quietly.
'This is the first sign of any Death Eater activity since the final battle at the end of July.' Dumbledore began before being interrupted by the Minister.
'We need to know Mr Potter whether you are sure the Dark Lord is dead.' Fudge cut in. 'Was his soul definitely destroyed?'
Harry moved slightly so he could glare at the Minister. 'Of course he's dead.' He snapped incredulously. 'Do you think after all that happened, all that he did, I wouldn't have made sure.'
'How can you be sure?' Fudge countered.
Harry's eyes narrowed and he reached up and pointed to the now almost non-existent scar on his forehead. 'Because of this.' Harry hissed. 'We were connected, Minister. Surely you haven't forgotten. I knew he wasn't dead long before he ever regained his corporeal form back in ninety five and I would sure as hell know now if he was still floating around as a spirit.' Harry had moved around Severus to the doorway. 'My leg may be useless, Minister.' He spat acidly. 'But the rest of me works perfectly well. Good day. Albus, I'll talk with you later.' Harry said curtly before limping slowly out of the room.
There was several moments silence until Harry stepped off the moving staircase before Severus erupted, Albus sitting back in his chair, knowing the rather abrasive potions master would make sure the Minister got what was coming to him.
'What in Merlin's name is wrong with you?' Snape bellowed. 'How dare you talk to him like that, after all he has done for you.' Fudge quailed slightly under the potions master strongest glare. 'He risked his life solving your problem last time and instead of thanking him, which I might add he is still waiting for, you come here and question him on the validity of his success, a success that more than three hundred people were witness to.' Snape's eyes were glinting dangerously, his hands balled into fists and the knuckles white 'Has it ever occurred to you that not all the Death Eaters died? Did it even flit through your diminutive and rather pitiful excuses for brains that it could be a lone person trying to become the new Dark Lord.' Snape also moved towards the door, turning only at the last moment and lowering his voice ominously. 'We heard what you said before we came in, Harry heard it, and if you ever say anything like that again, after all he has been through, no Auror on the planet will be able to save you from me.'
Fudge went to retort but Snape had swept from the room.
'A…are you going to let him talk to me like that Dumbledore. I'm the Minister of Magic.' Fudge blustered.
Dumbledore glanced at the others gathered in the room, placing his elbows on the arms of his chair and steeping his fingers under his chin. 'I believe I am, Cornelius.' He said quietly but firmly. 'After all, he does have a point. Why has there been no official recognition of Harry's services to the wizarding world? He gave up almost two thirds of his life, not to mention his childhood, fighting Tom Riddle and as of yet I have seen nothing in the way of acknowledgment from the Ministry. In fact, all I have seen is the Ministry deciding that their little weapon has done his job and now that he has been injured doing what you could not, he is of no further use.' Dumbledore leant forward, his usually twinkling blue eyes now cold and hard. 'That is not the case, is it, Minister?' The headmaster tone was harsh and it was noticeably evident that he was not happy at present.
'Ah, no Dumbledore. That's not what I meant.' Fudge stammered.
'Good. I'll expect an official statement later today then. Thank you for your time, Cornelius, I'll be in touch.' Albus said before picking up a quill and pulling some blank parchment from a drawer.
It was obvious that the meeting was finished and still blustering, the Minister and his Aurors filed slowly back through the floo and Albus sat back once more.
'I'm sorry, Harry.' He whispered softly.
Severus was steaming as he stalked down the halls. Even after what had happened in the headmaster's office there was no way he could go and talk to his lover in the state of mind he was in. He would only explode, saying this he didn't mean, turning his anger at the Minister on the closest available target and hurting the younger man. It took all of his self-control to walk down to his office, throw some floo powder in the fire, call Ron and Hermione, explain what had happened and wait until they had stepped through the fire and hurried to Harry's rooms before he let his temper loose and systematically destroyed the entire room.
Frantic pounding on the door broke his reverie and he stopped and stared at the carnage around him. 'WHAT?' he roared, flinging the door open.
'Severus, what on earth is going on?' Minerva stood in the doorway, eyes wide at the damage she could see. 'I had half of Slytherin burst into the great hall saying that bombs were going off in your office.'
Snape's anger deflated and he slumped against the door. 'Everything's fine, Minerva.' He said quietly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 'I was just a little upset.'
'It wasn't Harry, was it?' she asked.
Snape shook his head. 'No, Fudge.' He scowled.
Minerva glanced once more around the room before nodding slowly. 'If you're sure.'
Severus nodded. 'Yes. Thank you.'
The transfiguration professor nodded and stepped away from the door. 'I'll see you at lunch then Severus.' She said quietly before walking away. Severus closed the door and sighed. He really should go up and see Harry now. Hopefully Ron and Hermione had cheered him up a little. He tossed some floo powder in the fireplace and stepped in.
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The scene that greeted him was not quite what he had expected. He knew Ron and Hermione were due to drop in and Harry laughing at one of Ron's jokes was what he had hoped. Harry despondent with Ron and Hermione desperately trying to cheer him up was what he thought.
The sight of Ron and Hermione sitting on one sofa, looking worriedly at an obviously drunk Harry who was sprawled out on the other, cradling an almost empty bottle of fire whisky and having what looked to be a rather slurred conversation in Parseltongue with the snake he had purchased last weekend that was curled on his chest was definitely not in the realm of his possible scenarios.
His anger returned. 'Potter.' He snapped. 'What do you think you're doing?' Harry's eyes snapped up and he blinked several times at Severus as if trying to discern exactly who he was.
'Sev?' he questioned.
Severus growled, glaring at the two Gryffindors before stalking across the room and carefully lifting the snake off and placing it on the armchair. 'You're drunk Potter.'
''M not drunk.' Harry slurred indignantly.
Snape rolled his eyes. 'Right. Then tell me the order of ingredients in Veritaserum.'
Ron snorted. 'Severus, he couldn't do that even if he wasn't drunk.' He chortled, Snape's glare forgotten in his amusement.
''M not drunk.' Harry insisted, waving the bottle in his hand. 'Just wanted a little drink to calm down.'
Severus growled again, snatching the bottle from his hand and flinging it across the room where it shattered as it hit the wall, before bending down and carefully lifting the younger man in his arms. 'I'll give you a little drink.' He growled stalking through to the bathroom and sitting Harry down in the shower recess before turning the cold water on full blast.
A piercing screech rang through the room as Snape stormed back through to the sitting room to see Ron and Hermione giggling in amusement.
'I'm glad you both think this is so funny.' He snarled. 'Did you ever stop to think that the potions Harry is taking may react badly with alcohol?' Ron and Hermione's smiles died. 'I thought not. Now I have classes to get to. I ask you Hermione to stay with Harry and let me know if he starts taking a turn and Ron, Harry has two classes today, I'm sure Albus wouldn't mind if you could fill in for him.' He said curtly before spinning on his heel and disappearing back through the flames to his office.
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What with classes and detentions and another impromptu meeting with Albus it was after dinner by the time Severus managed to get back to Harry's rooms. Ron had left, having been called back to work just after Harry's last class but Hermione was still there, standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching her best friend as he slept.
'Is he alright?' Severus asked softly, startling the young woman.
Hermione gave Harry one last sad glance before turning away. 'Not really.' She said quietly, Severus, noticing that she had been crying, guided her over to the sofa and conjured some tea.
'What happened, Hermione?' He asked, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.
'Nothing to do with the potions.' She said quickly, sensing the older man's worry. 'He's just…' she trailed off.
'Hermione?' Snape said encouragingly.
The brown haired witch sighed, closing her eyes. 'He's just so fucked up.' She said shocking the potions master.
'I beg your pardon?' he asked, wide eyed.
Hermione placed her tea back on the table and sighed again. 'I should go.' She said softly, placing her cup down on the table and standing. She walked over to the door, stopping with her hand on it. 'He needs you Severus. So much it practically tears him apart. Whatever he says and does, try to remember he doesn't mean it. He is having trouble remembering why he is here, why he bothered to even survive the last battle. Try and remind him they we all love him. That you love him.'
Severus didn't even notice as she closed the door behind her, his thoughts were on the young man currently asleep in the bedroom. He stood and removed his robes, laying them over the back of the sofa and walking slowly into the bedroom. He undressed and crawled into bed, pulling the lithe body into his arms and placing soft kisses all over the beautiful face.
'I love you, Harry.' He whispered. 'Please believe me.'
Harry's eyes flicked open and Severus was lost in the brilliant green.
'I believe you.' Harry murmured, leaning up to place a chaste kiss on his lover's lips. 'I'm sorry I got drunk. I've never done that before.'
Severus ran a hand down Harry's cheek. 'I was just worried. Sorry if I over reacted.'
Harry smiled. 'You didn't. I would have done exactly the same thing in your place. It has to be said though, that the alcohol certainly numbs the pain well. You should put some of it in the pain killing potions.'
Severus snorted. 'I don't think so. The amount you take each day?' He chided. 'I'm not having the man I'm going to marry turning into a lush.'
Harry eyes suddenly widened and Severus almost smacked himself.
'W..w..what?' Harry stammered, grimacing as he pulled himself up.
'I…I…Harry, I….' Snape trailed off.
'You want to marry me?' Harry asked incredulously if not hopefully. Snape sat up, lighting the torch above the bed and pulling the young man into his arms.
'Yes, I want to marry you.' He said firmly. 'I wasn't going to ask you until after Hermione and Ron were married, didn't want to rain on their parade and all that. But I love you Harry Potter. I think you are the kindest, most selfless person I have ever met. I fell in love with you so many years ago but I let my pride get in the way and you left, taking my heart with you. Never again, I won't ever make that same mistake twice. Marry me Harry, return my heart to me fully and let me show you how much I love you. Please.'
It was the pleading tone in the older man's voice that finally undid him and Harry soon found tears streaming down his face. 'You really mean it.' He said in wonder. Snape nodded.
'Yes.' He whispered.
Harry smiled brightly through his tears, leaning up to kiss him gently. 'I love you.' Harry said, placing kisses all over Severus' face. 'Of course I'll marry you.' He pulled the potions master down on top of him and plundered his mouth. Their kisses became more passionate and with a flick of his hand Harry plunged the room into darkness, the soft sounds of lovemaking the only things to be heard.
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