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Chap 13- Take A Chance?

EPOV

The drive back to the hotel was quick and quiet. The thoughts reeling through my head distracted me.

Everything Izzy had said was flashing through my head, imprinting themselves in my vast memory. She had opened up to me and had allowed me to see the 'new' her; what she had been through, what the kids were like, what my son was like.

I parked the Volvo in the garage that was linked to the hotel and quickly headed up to the room. I could tell that everyone was back.

As I walked into the room Alice's thoughts hit me first.

'So...how was your date?' I could plainly hear the amusement in her voice.

I looked over to her, seeing her sitting on the couch next to Rose and Kat, a fashion magazine in her small hands.

"It wasn't a date." I smiled walking past the couch.

"Oh, Eddie has a smile on his face. He either drank blood to fast and is on some type of high or he got laid tonight." Emmett laughed.

Rose reached forward and slapped him on the back of the head, then leaned over him and yanked the controller out of his hand, walking away.

"Rose…Babe, don't be like that, I was just joking with my bro. Can I have the controller back please!! I was beating Jazz." I heard him whine, following her out of the room.

I sighed as I headed up to 'my room'. I sat on the bed and let my thoughts turn over. I didn't realize what time it was until I heard a knock on the bedroom door. It was 11:30AM.

'Edward, one of the maids dropped off a letter for you.' I heard Alice's voice run through my head.

The door wasn't closed so Alice just through the letter to me, then left. I looked at the envelope, my name written in fancy writing on the front. I opened it and started reading.

Edward,

I'm sorry you had to find out this way but I forgot to get your cell phone number, so I couldn't call. I regret to say that I had to leave Barcelona earlier than I thought. One of the modeling companies back home had 6 models cancel on them and they called me and some others to replace them. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, but sadly this was the only way I could do it.

Thank you for last night. I appreciate that you took the time to get the know me. It was a wonderful evening.

I also wanted to let you know that what we talked about last night, particularly Zane, does not mean that you are expected to take any responsibilities for anything in anyway. I just wanted to let you know that just because you now know that Zane exists doesn't mean that you have to be a part of his life, or mine. The choice is yours. I'm not trying to force you into anything. Giving you my address and number was just so you could get a hold of me if you wanted to, not because you have to.

I just want you to be happy. When I was still a human you did everything you could to ensure my happiness, now I'm returning that. Like I said the choice is yours. This letter isn't to make you feel guilty or upset, I'm just making sure you know that you should do what you want to not what you feel you 'have' to.

Thanks again for last night. It brought memories back that were buried deep inside all these years. It made me remember why I loved you in the first place.

Take care and tell your family I said 'Hello'. I hope we run into each other again some day.

Love always,

Izzy

I reread the note again. To me it almost sounded like she didn't want me back in her life, the way she kept mentioning 'do what you want to not what you feel you 'have' to'.

Did she want me back or not? Should I go back regardless or not? If I went back would Zane and the boys accept me? How would Zane react if I showed up and told him I was his father? Would he accept that or would he be angry?

So many questions filled my mind.

I placed the letter back into the envelope and tucked it into my pocket. I decided I needed to talk to someone. Carlisle.

From his thoughts I could tell that both he and Esme were in their room.

Even though the door was open I reached around and knocked before I looked into the room.

"Yes?" I heard Carlisle's voice.

"Can I talk to you and Esme for a moment, please?"

"Sure Edward, you know, you don't have to ask." I heard Esme say as I walked into the room.

Esme was on the bed reading a book, that she now put down, and Carlisle was on the computer in the corner of the room, his back to me for only a second.

I stared at the floor unsure of how to begin.

I looked back up and noticed both of them facing me, curiosity in their eyes.

"Edward, are you okay? You look a little stressed." Carlisle said.

"Yes. No. I don't know. I feel completely lost." I whispered, knowing they could hear me.

"About what?"

"Last night I took Bella, Izzy, to the park to talk. I wanted to know what was going on in her life up till now. About Zane and why he was a vampire so young and just about her in general. She told me all of the answers and I felt like things were slowly going back to the way things used to be.

She said she had to leave to go home today but not till this afternoon. Then one of the maids dropped off a letter for me. It was from Izzy saying that she had to fly home early and that she wanted me to know that she had a good time last night."

"And that was confusing?" Esme asked.

"Well when I asked her why she didn't tell me that Zane existed she said that she didn't want me to feel that I needed to go back to her because he was my son. I didn't leave her anyway to get a hold of me, so she couldn't tell me anyhow. She told me multiple times that she didn't want me to feel that I had to stay with her because of him.

When I read the letter she wrote that in there twice. It makes me feel like she doesn't want me back in her life. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I should go back to her, or if she wants me back, or how Zane would react? I'm lost. My feelings tell me one thing but my heart tells me another."

"Here. Come over here and sit down and let me read the letter." Esme said patting the place on the bed beside her.

I sat down and handed her the letter. When she finished it she handed it to Carlisle. It was silent for a moment as he read it.

"From what I read all she's telling you is to make the decision that makes you happy, Edward." Carlisle said handing me the letter back. "So the only question you need to worry about right now is what would make you happy?"

"I think that you should just leave her alone. She obviously didn't want you to know that you had a son. That was her way of getting back at you for leaving her. If she didn't want you in his life what makes you think she wants you in hers?"

We all turned our heads towards the doorway. Rosalie.

"Rose that was rude!" Esme shouted.

"What? All I'm saying is that she didn't want him to know. That was her way of getting back at him. And them giving him her address was like she was trying to bait him into thinking that she would just take him back, so that when he tried getting back into her life she could slam the door in his face. It's obvious that's what she's doing!"

"Bella would not do that!" I shouted back.

"News flash Edward!! The girl isn't Bella, she even told you that to your face. She kept a huge secret from you. Would Bella have ever done that to you?" she said, her eyes flashing black as she looked at me. I looked down to the floor. "I didn't think so." She said before walking away.

"Edward, just ignore her." Esme whispered from beside me.

"Maybe she's right. Maybe Izzy doesn't want..."

"Edward look at me" I heard Carlisle's voice interrupt me. I looked up. "You do what YOU feel is right. Izzy told you to do what makes you happy."

"I know, but if I want to be a part of her and Zane's life and she doesn't want me to, I'll be making her unhappy and I couldn't live with that."

"Edward from a woman's point of view from reading the letter I can tell you that Izzy loves you. She just wants you to be happy," Esme whispered wrapping me in a hug.

Then I remembered what Zane had said yesterday.

"My mom loves me and my brothers, but I often wonder if she's really ok. She acts so strong for us, but I know that something is not right. She just doesn't seem to be all there. Just like the puzzle. Without my dad we're not really a family and without my dad my mom's not really whole."

Maybe Esme was right. Maybe she still did love me.

"But what about Zane, my son? He doesn't know that I'm his father. He's only had Izzy and his 'brothers' his whole life. What if he doesn't need me? What if he doesn't want me around?" I asked. The question were true and questioning. What if he didn't want me around?

"I think that it would take sometime for Zane to get used to you being around, but I think that he'd be happy to finally have his father in his life. Most children do feel that way when parents are divorced or one parent leaves." Carlisle said standing up to come and sit on the other side of me.

"But what if he hates me for leaving him and Izzy alone."

"I don't think he'd hate you, he may be upset that you left and he never got to know you when he was growing up, but I don't think he'd hate you. You'd just have to give him time to get to know the real you and vise versa."

Once he stopped Esme began, "That is something that no one can predict, but you'll never know if you walk away. But the main question is do you still love Izzy?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitating. And I did 100 percent. She was just like Bella but more confident and outgoing. I still loved her, maybe more so than before.

"Do you want her back?"

Again I answered, "Yes."

"Do you want to be a part of Zane's life?"

"Yes."

"Then what are you waiting for?" they both asked at the same time.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around both of them. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without both of you."

"Anytime. Now go get on a plane and see your son and your mate and this time don't let them go." Carlisle said.

I stood up and smiled then quickly ran down the stairs to see Alice standing by the door tapping an envelope against her arm.

"You might want to hurry your flight leaves it 30 minutes." She said handing me the envelope.

I hugged her. "Sometimes I love the fact you're physic." I turned around to see my siblings standing there smiling at, me minus Rose of course. Then I noticed that someone was missing.

Kat and Kayla.

"Apparently Jeremy stayed behind so he and Kat could 'catch up'." Jasper said.

I smiled. At least she's getting what she deserves. The chance to be happy again.

I turned to walk out the door when Emmett called me.

"And Edward. Do NOT come home without my little sister or my nephew. Or the other boys for that matter, do you hear me? If you do, I will personally use you to knock down a wall in the house, build a fireplace, and toast marshmallows over your burning ashes do you understand?"

I laughed, "Ok."

IZZY POV (at her house in Pacific Beach, WA)

After the shoot for the magazine I returned home. Gabriel, Lucian, and Darius were downstairs playing basketball in the gym that was built on the other side of the garage.

It felt good to be home again. But, at the same time I can't help but get that feeling that something was missing. But it isn't something that was missing; it's someone.

Edward.

My best friend, my son's father, and my mate. The very thing that I wanted back in life.

I realized a long time ago that I had to be strong for Zane. I had to show him the love of two parents without leaving. I loved Zane more than anything in the world, but I just didn't feel complete. I wanted someone to love me back. Someone who loved me for who I was, someone that I just relax with, someone to watch the sunset with, and someone that I could have fun with.

Kairi told me a few years ago that I needed to 'go out and get laid'. She was defiantly the Emmett of the group.

As I stood here in Zane's bedroom door way, him completely unaware that I'm here due to the fact he had his Ipod on and he was building a 5000 piece puzzle, I can't help but be afraid of what Edward might do.

It would kill me to not have him as mine again, to not have him say 'I love you' to me everyday like he use to. To have been so close to having Zane finally get the father he had said he wanted.

I walked down the hall, into my room, and sat on my bed. Forest and Eddie at my feet. I put my head in my hands, remembering how after Zane was born he would scream and scream and keep screaming after I picked him up, only to find out from Siete that what he was doing was screaming for 'daddy' and I couldn't do anything about it. What it felt like to feel useless.

How every year on his birthday since he could talk he would wish that daddy would 'come home'. And how at Christmas he always said that all he wanted was for daddy to come home so we could be a family.

I wish that Edward would come back. But so far wishing has done nothing for Zane and I.

I had to keep reminding myself that there was a good chance he wouldn't come back. That he was angry that I didn't tell him in the first place, that he might think that not telling him was my way of getting back at him for leaving.

But, at the same time if he did come back and I let him back into my life and Zane let him into his that he could just walk out on us like he did 70 years ago.

I don't know if I could take that again, and God only knows what it would do to Zane. To finally get his wish and have it torn away.

I told Edward to do what makes him happy.

But no matter what Zane come first, even before me.

So, could I really let Edward into his life and take the chance of Zane getting hurt?

Is that really a chance I'm willing to take?

Only like 3 or 4 more chapters left!! tell me what you think!! I would also once again like to thank my WONDERFUL BETA: taylorcullenforever. Thanks for editing this for me!! And thank you to all the people who volenteered to be my beta. You guys Rule!! PLEASE REVIEW!!