"I'm not mopey."
"Look at your face. It's covered in mope." Darcy stared at him. As much as she wanted to smack him, yell at him, kick him hard in the stomach…she couldn't. He looked like a child. His lips were pouting, he had perfect puppy-dog eyes, and his shoulders were slumped from their normally flawless posture. Before she could stop herself, she wrapped her arms around his slim waist and hugged him tightly, resting her head on his chest. She could feel his muscles tense at the contact, and it took a while before they relaxed. Loki hesitantly slid his arms around Darcy, one hand on the back of her head as his fingertips lightly stroked her hair.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you've mentioned that."
"Darcy…?"
"Hmm?"
"I…" For the first time in his life, the Prince of Lies was at a loss for words. The one thing he could count on his whole life to get what he wanted, and he just couldn't think or speak right now. "I'm sorry."
"You keep saying that and I'll give you a reason to be sorry," Darcy said with a smile. Loki tightened his arms around her.
"Darcy?"
"Hmm?"
"May I sleep in here tonight?" She paused, unsure of how to respond.
After a few silent moments, "Yeah." The god released her as she walked to the bed and pulled the covers aside. She climbed in and turned to see Loki removing his shirt.
"What are you doing?"
"I always sleep shirtless."
"Oh…Right. Gotcha." Loki climbed in after her, pulling the covers back up and slipping his arm around Darcy's waist.
"You're very warm."
"You've mentioned that."
"I'm sorry, it's just not what I'm used to. Asgardian women aren't this warm. Are all of you humans this hot?"
"Nope, I'm an exception. I'm hotter than Hell," Darcy chuckled.
"You know my daughter?"
"What?" Darcy rolled over to face Loki, "You have a daughter?"
"Well not just a daughter. I have sons, too."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, of course."
"Well…what are their names?"
"My daughter is Hel, she rules the underworld, then there's Jormungand. He's known as the world serpent. And then there's Fenrir. He's a wolf."
"…The fuck?"
"What?"
"Your children are a snake, a wolf, and a dead chick?"
"Hel is not dead, she just rules the underworld. Well, technically half of her body is dead."
"So you have kids? And what, you just abandoned them?"
"They're fully grown, Darcy, it's not like I've simply left children all on their own," Loki spat. How dare she accuse him of bad parenting.
"So what do the others do? I mean, it's not like a wolf or snake can grow up to be doctors or lawyers."
"They are…well…Jormungand is in the waters of this planet-"
"Are you kidding me?"
"No, not at all. Why would I…What is kidding?"
"You're serious? There's a huge snake in the ocean?"
"Yes. Oh don't worry, he's far too large to actually do anything bad to you people. He's been growing for near a thousand years."
"Okay…And what does the wolf do?"
"He is bound on an island at the moment."
"The fuck?"
"What?"
"You just left your kid all tied up and shit on an island? That's messed up."
"Fenrir has a part to play in events to come. For the time being, he must remain bound and alone." Loki's eyes were cold and calculating as he spoke.
"So you have a plan for your kids or something? What, like the Jackson Five? That's kinda weird."
"Their purpose is much more important than…Whatever that is."
"You don't know about Michael Jackson?"
"Obviously not."
"Remind me in the morning. I'm fixing that."
"Yes, of course."
The two laid there silent for minutes as the clock ticked by.
"I still can't believe you have kids. So do you have like an ex-wife or something?"
"No, their mother was merely a mistress."
"Okay…So you're just a man whore."
"I am not a whore."
"Oh right, guys who sleep around are studs, my bad."
"Well I actually was a mare once," he reminisced briefly.
"The fuck?"
"I always forget about Sleipnir."
"Slipknot?"
"Sleipnir. She's an eight-legged horse."
"Okay you're gonna have to explain that one."
"I'm a shapeshifter. In my younger days, I was a bit…Adventurous."
"So you turned into a horse and knocked up a spider?"
"No, I turned into a mare and…I had Sleipnir."
"Did you just have Slipknot or did you get preggers?"
"As I said, I was a bit adventurous."
"Oh god. That's like having gay sex. No, that's past having gay sex. That's…I don't think there's even an equivalent for that."
"You humans are so closed-minded."
"Look dude, I consider myself pretty accepting but that's beastiality, that's sick!"
"I don't expect you to understand. Those were…interesting times. And I spent most of those times incredibly intoxicated."
"God that's like something you'd find on a shock site."
"It wasn't considered that outlandish at the time."
"I mean seriously, like a really sick and demented part of the internet."
"Looking back, yes I guess I regret it, but really it was a learning experience."
"I mean what kind of depraved person makes that kind of a website?"
"Darcy."
"What?"
"Let's just not think about this anymore. Agreed?"
"Definitely."
Silence filled the room once more.
"So did you like it?"
"It's done, Darcy."
"Okay."
The next morning, Darcy woke to the feeling of being in someone's arms.
Not gonna lie, this is nice….Even if it's not real….She rolled over, rather awkwardly, to face Loki. They were so close it was near impossible to not have their faces touching, and Darcy imagined she looked ridiculous as she craned her head back to avoid smushing it against Loki's face.
"Hey." No response. Unless you count steady breathing. "Hey." Still nothing. She nudged his leg with her foot a few times, to which Loki responded by tightening his arms around her waist. Darcy's earlier attempts to keep her face from his became futile, and the brunette found her lips pressed against the god's.
Loki then proceeded to roll over, on top of Darcy, deepening the lip contact into a passionate kiss. His hands- which had been locked around her slim middle- slid over her body as his hips pressed into hers.
Well this isn't so bad. Looks like he's got a bit of a routine so I can just-
Her thoughts were derailed as Loki, rather than trail kisses down her neck like he seemed to always do, sat up and yanked Darcy into his lap. Using magic, he vanished both of their clothing and Darcy's skin tingled at the contact.
"You have the sexiest bed head I have ever seen," he growled in her ear. While Darcy's brain attempted to crank out a coherent response, Loki distracted her by moving from the bed. Instinctively wrapping her legs around his waist, Darcy squealed slightly when Loki pushed her against the wall. With his body flush against hers, Darcy could feel each breath even a faint, racing heartbeat.
She released a gasp as he thrust into her, simultaneously biting her neck. It wasn't hard enough to break the skin, but there was a looming possibility of a bruise she would rather not explain to her parents.
"That's a hell of a way to say good morning," Darcy breathed an hour later.
"I like to be creative," Loki smirked, lying next to her on the bed.
"Clearly. I mean…Clearly."
"Knock knock!"
"Shit, MOM!" Darcy yanked the blanket over her body…right off of Loki's. Nicola Lewis froze in the doorway to Darcy's room, staring at the naked god.
"Oh…Darce…"
"Mom, staring. Rude."
"Right, sweetie, very rude." Her eyes never left his body, and Loki made no attempt to cover himself. Darcy pushed part of the blanket over Loki's hips, which seemed to break her mother's moment.
"You back yet?"
"Sweetie," she cleared her throat, "Yes, brunch. Down…Downstairs," her eyes wandered back to Loki's hips, and the god merely smirked, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.
Nicola walked out backwards, awkwardly closing the door.
"Oh my god."
"Yes?"
"This is not the time, Loki. My mother just saw you naked."
"Many people have seen me naked. It's not a sight that should be denied to people," he raised an eyebrow at Darcy.
"God you're conceited."
"Clearly. What, are you saying you wouldn't stare at my unclothed body?"
"I…How dare…I have never…Not once, stared at you naked!"
"Give it time, Darcy."
AN: Don't forget to review! Love you all!