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Reason Five

At eight-thirty, Mr. Schue pulled into the parking lot on Rachel's street. The Glee kids were crowded into his car and the whole vehicle was stuffy from the people crammed in there, so the AC was on full blast.

"There it is," Mr. Schue pointed through the windshield across the empty lot, gesturing towards the hedge surrounded window at the fifth house down. "That's Rachel's bedroom window."

"I can't believe Matt was a Peeping Tom," Mike said. "He was such a nice guy,"

Quinn snorted. "He seemed like such a nice guy. He was really an ass."

"Yeah, but he was an ass in love." Tina added, staring at Rachel's window. "Love does crazy things to people,"

"That's no excuse!" Puck nearly shouted.

"You've done some pretty bad things to Rachel over the years," Santana snapped, flipping her glossy black hair.

"Well, so have you," Puck replied. "And I feel bad for them,"

Finn was about to open his mouth and ask Puck what he was talking about, but Rachel's voice came pouring out of the speakers before he could say anything. Mr. Schue had hooked up the DVD player to his car someone and had it perched awkwardly on his dashboard, but everyone could hear it clearly now from the front all the way to the third row of seats.

Brittany S. Pierce. What a pretty name, and a very pretty girl.

Everyone looked at Brittany. So this DVD was about her?

"…Me?" The blonde mumbled feebly. "What did I do?"

Santana kissed her girlfriend on the cheek affectionately, trying her best to comfort Brittany. "It's okay. Let's just listen. Rachel wanted you to see this,"

Brittany nodded.

And you're also very nice. And popular. Senior class president. Cheerio. You were even Homecoming Queen once, I believe.

Brittany is nice to everyone she meets, she's just…so…innocent.

Rachel's face appears on the screen. This time she has bags under her pretty eyes and her hair is messy, her clothes wrinkled. There is a clock in the background which is flashing 3:34.

But is it just a show? I think it might be.

Brittany, I don't think you do it on purpose. I think you can't help but be posed. Love ya Britt, but you're not the sharpest crayon in the box either.

Brittany frowned. "Of course, I'm not a crayon! Duh!"

This is why I put you on here. To let you know, you deserve that. Your actions affect people, and they affected me.

Brittany, I do not hate you. I kind of like you, actually. It's just that I used to think you and I were almost friends.

Right after I enlisted you to help me with my comeback, you forgot all about me again. You even forgot to say goodbye to me after our English class one day, when we had been talking. I don't know why that bothered me so much, it just seemed…more, intentional. Like you didn't even care if you said bye to me or not, like I would never be more than a glee club acquaintance to you. You didn't even acknowledge me, until the party.

Now, I'll be talking about a different party later, so let's refer to this as The Party on Maple Street. It was at a hockey player's house, Rick The Stick's I think.

I was leaving my math class when you ran up to me.

"Rachel, hi!" You said perkily. "How are you?"

I don't remember what I said. Probably something like "Fine, yourself?" or "Good, thanks for asking." It doesn't matter what I said.

You asked me if I was going to Rick's party, and I said I wasn't planning on it. Then, you bat your eyelashes and touched my should sweetly.

"We should go together," you said.

Yes, Brittany was sort of flirting with me.

Santana gave Brittany a look. "Berry, seriously? You flirted with Berry?"

Brittany shrugged. "Didn't you ever noticed how nice her butt was? Those animals sweaters were kind of hot, too."

Quinn pretended to gag.

I asked you why. "Why should I go to a party with you?"

That took you by surprise. Everyone wanted to be seen going to a party with you, you were sweet to everyone and made out with everyone, I even walked in on you and the janitor playing with a rubber ducky in a closet when you should've been in Glee rehearsal.

Brittany blushed. "That…um…wasn't me. It was my evil twin…uh…Whitney. Whitney Z. Pierce."

"Because then we can hang out, Rachel!" You answered. "Don't you want to get to know each other better?"

I was suspicious, but I gave in. The first thing you said? "Great, can you drive?"

Whoever is listening to this, I want you to go to Brittany's house. Pull your car up to the curb, and sit there. Finish this DVD there and imagine that you're me, on the night of the party.

Mr. Schue paused the DVD there. "Buckle your seatbelts guys and gals," He said. "Next stop, outside Brittany's house."

Mr. Schue pulled up outside Brittany's house fifteen minutes later. The Glee kids all shifted to one side of the car so they could look at the house. The Pierce home was a pretty white townhouse with green shutters and nicely trimmed hedges. They tried to picture what it looked like to Rachel the night of the party as Mr. Schue pressed 'play'.

You skipped out of the house when I came to pick you up. In your pretty pink mini dress, I felt underdressed in my tunic and jeans.

"Thanks for the ride, Rachel," You said as you climbed into the car.

No 'hello', just 'thanks for the ride, Rachel'.

Your mom came to say hi, or perhaps make sure there weren't any boys or drugs in the car, and I said hello to Rory, who was standing in your front door, watching us leave.

I wanted to be wrong about you, Brittany. I wanted to be more than your chauffeur. So I drove you to Rick's and hoped we'd actually have some fun together. Let me say, the way that party ended was…interesting. Very interesting.

We had to park a block away, and even from there we could hear the rap music coming from the party. You squealed.

There was over a dozen students flooding the street as they headed towards the party. When we finally reached the door, there were two hockey players standing there, selling beer. When they saw it was you, and they gave us the cups for free. One of them actually told to go hang out with him later.

"Don't go," You advised when we walked away. "Guy's an ass,"

"Brittany, you and the hockey team?" Tina asked.

"Don't you think mullets are cute? They look like adorable little animals," Brittany replied.

In less than a minute, you said we should split up, you had some people you needed to see. Wanna know what I was thinking? 'Gosh, that didn't take long!' So I lied and said I needed to talk to someone too. You told me not to leave without you, or else you'd have to walk home. Brittany, how could I forget?

Rachel gave what looked like an eye roll.

And then you said it, "Goodbye", as if you didn't expect to be talking to me again until you wanted to leave.

I spent half an hour wandering the party aimlessly. I saw a fistfight, disgusting, and a few make out sessions, also disgusting. Finally, I went out back towards the pool. I found Brittany sitting on a keg, talking to some boys and laughing.

Then, a very cute boy walked up to me. I didn't know him, he must've been on another school's hockey team. I had heard the team that beat our school at the championship might be there, so that's who I thought he was. He told Brittany had said I was fun to hang out with and sent him over. So, I relaxed a little. I thought Brittany felt bad.

Note, I said thought.

After the guy had drunk two more beers, he admitted that Brittany hadn't sent him over.

"I did hear her say that you were fun though," He gushed drunkenly. "And that you have naughty things in your drawers,"

"Brittany!" Mr. Schue gasped.

The blonde looked confused. "What?"

"You told everyone that Rachel had sex toys in her drawers?" Santana said.

"Oh, no!" Brittany answered. "I meant that she had Jewish stuff so Santa was going to put her on the naughty list for Christmas,"

"First off Britt, Santa isn't real," Kurt said. "And second, Rachel is Jewish, so she doesn't celebrate Christmas!"

Brittany sniffed in response. "Oh."

I marched right over to Brittany and told her I was leaving. She begged me to stay, but I said no and I told her to find another ride. You and I never 'hung out' again, and I became sick of you, myself and this town.

Next DVD.