Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's Note: This chapter isn't really a reason, but this is how it was in the book so I'll write it this way. Don't forget to comment! Nine more reviews and we're at a hundred!

Also, I've been thinking of writing a sequel to this, where, a year later, everyone finds out that Rachel's death was fake, and that she is still alive. The DVD's were merely to help them move on, and prevent themselves from hurting others like they hurt her. If I wrote it, would you read?

Reason Nine

When Mr. Schue walked into the choir room, promptly at three, all of the New Directions were already seated around the room except for, of course, Mercedes and Quinn, in fresh changes of clothes. However, none of them looked like they had gotten any sleep in the few hours they'd been gone. Mr. Schue himself had taken a shower and changed into his favorite sweater vest and khakis for graduation, but had been unable to sleep at all, so bags were under his eyes. The only thing keeping him awake were the five cups of coffee he had chugged in the teacher's lounge.

"I'd say I'm happy to see you…" The teacher began, but he just trailed off there and sat down. There were still four DVD's lined up on the piano, next to folded caps and gowns for all of the seniors to wear at graduation tonight. Off in the side of the room, however, laid one of them. It was the smallest one and white, the colors all the girls were supposed to wear. On it was a sticker that read: "Rachel Berry" in the neat cursive handwriting of Principal Figgins's secretary. A diploma reading the same name had been placed on top of it, by who Mr. Schuester didn't know. Unfortunately, nobody would be there to receive the certificate or wear the gown.

After a silent minute passed, the door to the choir room opened and in staggered a disheveled Quinn Fabray, looking sloppy with her plaid pajama pants and disorganized blonde plait. She fell back into the open chair between Puck and Rory, throwing her backpack onto the floor and across the room.

"Quinn," Mr. Schue said. "We didn't expect to see you here."

"Rachel said my name was going to be on the DVD's again," the girl pointed out. "I want to know what else I did, because I honestly don't know. I couldn't sleep anyway." Quinn's pretty blonde head fell forward as she sniffed into her elbow, before looking back up with watery eyes. "I was really just jealous of Rachel," The girl confessed. "She seemed so perfect…talented, loved, confident…but I don't feel that way anymore. I'm happy to be alive, while she's…she's…" Quinn choked on the word "dead" and so she just skipped over it. "Now I feel so bad. I never knew how awful she felt inside, she hid it so well."

"It's okay, Quinn," comforted Tina, laying a hand compassionately on Quinn's shoulder. Despite the terrible secrets they had all learned about each other today, Tina was just as sweet and helpful as ever, perhaps even more so.

"It's not okay," Quinn said with a bit of anger. "How do you guys not all hate me?"

"We could never hate you, Quinn." Mike added. "You're one of us, through thick and thin, no matter what you do."

Quinn sighed and nodded. "But can you let go of me, Tina?"

The Asian girl reluctantly retracted her hand and leaned against Mike's shoulder, letting Quinn slump against her seat in defeat.

Reason Nine…doesn't have to do with any of you. So you can relax.

On the DVD, Rachel appeared to be under the bleachers, where The Skanks went to go smoke everyday at three instead of heading off to after school activities. It seemed to be a sunny day, as light was pouring through the cracks in the seats and shining down on Rachel's pretty face.

This reason…this reason is myself, because of several things. I gave up on so much…friends, family, love, and finally, life. I have given up hope, and I can never get my drive back. It is gone forever, and so I cannot help but be angry with myself, for losing hope, for giving up.

Sometimes I try to force myself to keep fighting, I try to change my mind, but I just can't. I have lost so much, I have hurt so many people, and I can't take it back. I can only make it worse and I'm doing forcing everyone I love to suffer with me. I want you all to be happy, I want you to forget me and the pain I caused every single one of you in life…and in death.

None of them would ever forget Rachel. She could beg and plead for them to, but they never would. They would always remember the perky brunette with the beautiful singing voice. The choir room felt so empty without her (very loud) presence.

Some of you I hurt more than others. People who tried to be my friends, like Tina, Kurt, Blaine, or people who tried to love me, like Finn, Jesse, Puck…even Matt. I care about all of you, even those of you who acted like you hated me. Because I know, deep down, you didn't. You never did and you never will. Hate is such a strong word, I don't hate any of you. Do you feel the same way about me?

There are people I will regret leaving, my dad's who treated me well for eighteen years, my friends who always stood by me, my boyfriend who I will love forever, even my mom, Shelby Corcoran, who attempted so many times to be there for me, but failed every time she tried.

I just want you all to know that I love you. I regret hurting you in any way. You were all so loving, and I didn't deserve you.

On the DVD, tears were streaming down Rachel's face. Several people in the room, Tina, Kurt, Finn, and a few others, were on the verge of crying as well.

I just hope that you can learn to move on without me, after my death. Please promise me not to do something…you might regret. Please. I love you.

And then the DVD ended, and the whole room started to cry.