Chapter 3: Not Gon' Cry
"Wasted my years a fool of a wife / I shoulda left your ass a long time ago"
"Morning, Sasha," Payson said as she sailed into the office early the next week, a cardboard drink holder and two large cups of coffee in her hands.
"Morning." Payson looked at him for the first time and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the longer-than-usual stubble on his cheeks, and the wrinkles in his clothes.
"Did you sleep here?" Payson asked.
"Yes," Sasha said, groaning. Payson shook her head and pursed her lips. He shouldn't be sleeping in his office when he had a perfectly respectable apartment practically across the damn street.
"Why on earth did you do that?" she demanded.
"Because…I just did," Sasha said, glancing quickly at her. His eyes begged her to drop it, so she did.
"Well I guess it's a good thing I brought us both coffee. Here."
Sasha took the coffee and sipped it carefully while Payson booted up her computer. She could feel his eyes on her, tracking her as she moved around the office gathering paperwork she'd need for the first bit of her day, and it made her shiver.
"What?" she asked.
"Where are you planning to live?" Sasha asked after a moment.
"A house. I've been a little too busy to start looking, though," Payson said, gesturing around the room.
"If you want help looking, a second opinion, I'd be more than happy to go with you," Sasha offered. Payson smiled, oddly touched.
"Sure. I thought about going on Sunday, since it's our only day off," Payson laughed. Sasha nodded.
"It's a date," he said. Then, taking another sip of his coffee, he ducked out of the office and left his words echoing in Payson's head.
It's a date.
#
"You are such an idiot," Payson muttered to herself. Looking in her mirror, she fixed her hair for about the hundredth time, trying to make sure it looked just right. She felt like she was sixteen all over again, getting ready for the ballet and trying not to think about kissing her coach. But she wasn't sixteen, and she had no intention of kissing Sasha. So, why was she so…twitterpated?
Finally Payson forced herself to stop primping and grabbed her purse, heading for the living room. She scooped Harper into her arms on her way out, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"You gonna be okay with Grandma while Mommy goes to look at a house?" Payson asked, running her fingers of Harper's hair.
"Yes Mommy," Harper replied.
"Morning Mom," Payson said as she set Harper down. Kim looked up from the newspaper and smiled.
"Morning Pay. When's Sasha getting here?"
"A few minutes. Call if Harper needs anything, okay?" Payson said as she rummaged through her purse to make sure her phone was actually there.
"We'll be just fine," Kim said. "Won't we baby?"
Harper barely paid her grandma any attention as she started "making breakfast" at her little play kitchen, and Payson laughed. Finally the doorbell rang, making Payson nearly jump out of her skin. Kim gave her a look, that special Kim look that said she knew something was up with her daughter and was going to relentlessly dig it out of her, but Payson hurried away before she got the chance.
"Bye!" Payson squeaked.
"Where's the fire?" Sasha asked, chuckling, as Payson ran past him and jumped into the truck.
"Hmm? Oh, nowhere. Let's go." Sasha climbed in and started the engine, then turned the truck towards Mapleton Hill, the neighborhood Payson was looking at.
"So what's this one like?" Sasha asked. Payson knew he was trying to ease the tension that had appeared between them in the last few days, and she silently thanked him for it.
"It seems nice; four bedrooms, three bathrooms, twenty-six hundred square feet. It has a detached garage, which I'm not wild about, but it isn't a deal breaker."
"Not too big for just you and Harper?" Sasha asked. Payson shrugged.
"No. I want to have space for people who want to come visit, and who knows what will happen in the future." They pulled up to the house and Sasha killed the engine. It was quaint; grey stucco with white trim. Cute enough, but Payson wasn't in love with it yet.
"Come on, let's have a look inside," Sasha said. He came around and opened Payson's door, a gesture that actually made her blush for the first time in years, and then closed the door behind her. Payson checked her watch to make sure they weren't early, and then went to the front door and knocked. A real estate agent opened the door, a wide, forced smile on her face.
"Good morning! You must be Payson," she said loudly. Payson almost winced. "I'm Betsy, the listing agent for this house. Come on in!"
Payson smiled over her shoulder at Sasha, who was trying to hold in his laughter and he winked at her as he followed her inside. The living room was pretty open and warm with hardwood floors and a tannish-yellow color on the walls. Lots of big furniture made the space feel smaller than it probably was, but it was nice.
"This is the living room, complete with a nice fireplace for those chilly Boulder winters," Betsy said, laughing a little. They passed a dining…nook that was much too small for Payson's liking.
"And here we have the kitchen. Great new appliances, marble counter tops…" The kitchen was nice, with an island stove and a hanging vent fan, but she didn't love the see-through cabinet doors. The whole thing looked like an Ikea catalog.
"Do you two have any kids?"
"What?" Payson asked, her voice verging on a shriek. She heard Sasha snort behind her.
"Kids," Betsy repeated. "Do you have any?"
"Uh, I have a daughter. This isn't…Sasha is just a friend," Payson finished lamely. Betsy's eyes went wide and she nodded.
"I see. Well, there's a room upstairs that can be converted into a playroom if you like. Come on, I'll show you."
They went through the rest of the house, Betsy stopping in each room to extol its virtues and point out little things she thought Payson might like. Over-all, Payson wasn't in love with the house. She had lofty visions of the home she wanted in Boulder, and she knew maybe it was a little crazy to expect that she would find it already built and for sale, but she wanted to try. After buying a house in Los Angeles with Jeffrey, one that was ultra-modern and even a little cold, she wanted someplace warm and inviting, but spacious. A house that felt like home, not a museum.
"Well thank you. I'll give you a call and let you know," Payson said, trying to hurry out the door. Sasha paused behind her.
"What's the asking price?" he asked. Payson rolled her eyes.
"One point six," Betsy said. Sasha made a strangled noise in his throat and Payson saw his eyes bug out a little.
"Oh. Well thank you." As soon as they were back in the car, Sasha turned to her. "Payson, you are twenty four years old, what are you doing looking at a one point six million dollar house?"
"Sasha, I am worth about thirty times that. The sponsors were good to me, especially after I swept all six golds in London, not to mention that a divorce settlement with Jeffrey would pay for the house in cash, plus at least ten year's worth of property taxes. I'm not hurting for money," Payson explained. Usually she was uncomfortable talking about the fact that at just twenty four she was a multi-millionaire, but she knew Sasha had experienced the same thing when he was coming off an Olympic win.
"I just…hadn't realized, I suppose. Although I should have."
"Come on, I've got more houses to see."
They saw four more houses, each one worse than the last, at least in Payson's mind. She wasn't finding a single house that she could imagine calling home for her and Harper. Payson was exhausted, and it was only noon.
"This one looks nice," Sasha said as they pulled up outside the sixth and final house of the day. Payson had to admit, it was a beautiful house. Situated in the middle of the University Hill neighborhood, it was a little closer to the university than she wanted, but it was gorgeous; mostly made of large stones and light tan stucco, it felt warm already.
"It does," she said. "How many bedrooms?"
"Four, and four bathrooms." They climbed out and ventured inside. The real estate agent, Janet, was much more relaxed than some of the others they'd dealt with and she let Payson and Sasha explore on their own.
"I think I found my house," Payson whispered as they wandered through. Much of the main floor was hardwood, with wood trim and light cream walls, very inviting. The master suite had its own fireplace, a balcony off the back of the house, and a closet that could have been another bedroom. The second bedroom down the hall was perfect for Harper, and Payson knew that when she was a teenager, she'd love it even more.
"It's beautiful," Sasha agreed. Payson didn't notice that he was looking right at her.
#
"I really hope the owners accept my offer," Payson babbled as Sasha drove them back to the Keeler house after lunch. She felt giddy, like she couldn't stop smiling.
"It's a good offer," Sasha said. Payson was about to respond when they turned the corner onto her street. What she saw erased her good mood in an instant.
Jeffrey's Porsche 911 Carrera was parked outside her parents' house.
"Wow," Sasha said, whistling low. Payson resisted the urge to tell him to keep driving.
"That would be my husband's car," Payson said, reaching for the door handle.
"Do you want me to stay?" Sasha asked carefully, eyeing the car as Jeffrey climbed out of it.
"No, it's fine. I'll see you in the morning."
Jeffrey leaned back against the hood of the Porsche, waiting for Payson. Sasha reached across the console, catching Payson's hand as she stepped out.
"If you need me, I'm just a phone call away," he promised. Payson nodded, looking him in the eye and squeezing his fingers.
"Thank you."
Payson watched Sasha drive away, disappearing around the corner before she approached Jeffrey. He looked angry, probably because he assumed what everyone else did: that Payson and Sasha were together. Honestly, at that point she didn't care if he thought she was sleeping with her former coach.
"What are you doing here?" Payson asked. Jeffrey started towards the house.
"Can we go inside? Your Dad made me wait out here until you got home; I've been here for two hours," Jeffrey said, verging on whining. Payson arched an eyebrow.
"No." Jeffrey frowned at her. "What are you doing here?"
"Pay, I want you to come home. I miss you." Payson fought the urge to slap him. She almost did, taking a step forward and reaching out before catching herself and clenching her fist. She pointed at him instead, poking her finger into his chest.
"Don't." Jeffrey caught her by the wrist, keeping her from backing away.
"Payson…"
"She wasn't the first, was she?" Payson said, thinking over what Sasha had told her about the first time he met Jeffrey. He looked away, guiltily. "I knew it. How many?"
"Four or five, but I've been with Rebecca the longest." Payson snorts, feeling all the breath leave her lungs.
"You're still with her? And you're here asking me to come home?" Payson asked, her voice shrill.
"I…Payson I'm not the monogamous type," he sighed. Payson laughed, hysterical laughter bubbling up from inside of her. She laughed so hard, tears started leaking from her eyes and she had to force air into her lungs.
"You're…not…the…monogamous…type," she repeated through her laughter. She doubled over, hands on her knees, and tried to catch her breath.
"Payson…"
"Don't you think that's something I needed to know before we got married?" Payson demanded. Jeffrey shrugged.
"I lov…"
"Stop it. Don't you dare say you love me. I want a divorce, Jeffrey, so you had better find yourself a lawyer." Jeffrey's face hardened.
"I already have one. Do you?"
#
"Pay, can you run to the grocery store for me? Your father insisted we had condensed milk, but we don't," Kim called from the kitchen, where she was baking. It was Kim's go-to comfort ritual, one Payson had always loved, and desperately needed after her encounter with her soon-to-be ex.
"Sure, Mom. Harper, want to come to the store with Mommy?" Payson asked. Harper jumped up and grabbed her purse, one that had been Payson's when she was a teenager. Harper had found it in Payson's closet, buried with a bunch of her old clothing, and hadn't let it out of her sight since.
"Yes!" Payson followed Harper out to the Lexus and waited while she buckled herself into her car seat. "I saw Daddy today."
Payson almost slammed on the brakes in surprise. She knew that her father had forced Jeffrey to stay outside, but no one had said anything about Harper seeing him.
"You did?" Payson asked, trying to stay calm as she navigated the Lexus out of the driveway.
"I saw him out the window. He looked mad," Harper said. "Why is he mad?"
"Because he has to go to work while you and I get to play with grandma and grandpa," Payson lied. She wasn't ready to explain things to Harper, so she was going with the 'we're on vacation' lie. It seemed to work, at least for now.
The grocery store was crowded, as it usually was on a Sunday afternoon. Since she only needed one thing, she decided on carrying Harper and forgoing a cart, even though Harper begged and begged to ride in the "basket."
Payson had almost found the condensed milk when she heard her name being called.
"Payson?" Payson would recognize that chipper voice anywhere.
"Summer, hi."
"Oh, is this your daughter?" Summer asked, waving at Harper. The former Rock manager hadn't changed even a little bit, except for the large, sparkly diamond on her left ring finger.
"Yes, this is Harper. Harper, this is Mommy's friend Summer."
"She's adorable! So, how are you? Back in Boulder for a visit?" Summer asked, smiling broadly.
"Uh…sure." Payson saw Summer's eyes tick to her ring finger and widen slightly when she noticed the very conspicuous lack of a wedding ring.
"Payson, is everything okay?" Payson knew that well-meaning Summer would never let it go if she suspected that Payson might need help, or comfort, or a sermon, so she turned to Harper.
"Hands over your ears, baby." Harper dutifully clapped her hands over her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. "My husband and I are getting a divorce."
"Oh I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"Thank you, but no. I'm sorry, I really need to get back to my parents' house," Payson said. She turned to Harper and smiled, tapping her nose lightly. "Say bye to Summer, baby."
"Bye!"
#
"Why does she always have to get in everyone else's business?" Payson ranted the next day, pacing around the office.
"Who are we talking about?" Sasha asked, confusion written all over his face.
"Summer Van Horn! I ran into her at the grocery store yesterday and ended up telling her about Jeffrey and I, and I could just feel her judging me. Clearly she doesn't believe in divorce, but why should she care? It's my life," Payson growled. More than anything she was irritated with herself for giving up the fight so easily. She could have been stronger and kept her mouth shut in front of Summer, but she didn't want to give the woman an excuse to meddle any further in her life, which would probably happen no matter what she said.
"It's actually Summer Tanner now," Sasha said.
"What?"
"Summer and Steve Tanner got married a couple of years ago," Sasha explained. Payson grimaced.
"Ew."
"Why don't you run conditioning this morning, coach?" Sasha suggested with a smirk. Payson rolled her eyes.
"I'm not "Coach" just yet, you still have to find another gym manager," she said. But she left the office anyway.
Payson put the gymnasts through the wringer with conditioning; they were going to hate her eventually, they might even come to think of Sasha as the easy one, but she knew that in the end they would thank her for it.
"Payson," Annabelle moaned, crawling over to where Payson was standing. "Aren't we done yet?"
"One more circuit, and then you're done," Payson promised, laughing a little as Annabelle groaned again. Then the gymnast shot to her feet, standing straight and tall, her eyes wide. "Annabelle?"
"Isn't that the guy who like…started The Rock?" Payson frowned and looked over her shoulder, towards the main door.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Payson hissed. Steve Tanner was standing at the edge of the mats, staring at her. When he caught her looking, he jerked his head towards the office and started up the stairs.
"One more circuit, then Sasha will be out to tell you what you're working on today," she said to the gymnasts. Then she trudged towards the office.
"Payson, good to see you," Steve said as she walked in. Sasha sat in his chair, glaring.
"Yeah. What do you want?" Payson asked bluntly. Steve's gaze ticked to Sasha and he frowned.
"This might be better discussed in private," Steve said. Payson rolled her eyes but looked to Sasha anyway, raising her eyebrows. His eyes narrowed, but he shoved his chair back and stalked out.
"Okay, now we're in private. What do you want?"
"Summer told me about your divorce. Do you have an attorney yet?"Steve asked. Payson frowned.
"No," she said carefully. In the instant she admitted that, she remembered that besides being a pain in the ass, Steve's job was to win Boulder's biggest legal battles.
"Good. Then I'd like to take your case…pro bono."
Payson heard the term pro bono and wanted to scream. Even if she couldn't pay for his services, Payson Keeler did not accept handouts and the idea that Steve though he could use her to boost his community service was infuriating.
"No."
"What?"
"I said no. One, I am not your newest charity case, and two, why would I ever put something this important in your hands after everything you did while I was training here?" Payson scoffed. She sort of did want to know how he would justify that.
"Think about it. Everything I did while you were here…it was to win something, to get my way. If you let me handle your divorce, your way and my way would be the same thing. Look, I know I've done some not-so-savory things, but this time they would all be to your benefit. There's a reason I haven't ever lost a case, Payson, or ended up with less than everything my client wanted," Steve explained. Payson had to admit he was right.
"Why do you want to take my case so badly?" Payson asked.
"After everything that happened, the things Lauren and I did…I kind of owe you one, don't I?" Steve asked. Payson considered it for a moment before she made up her mind.
"Fine. But I'm paying you." Steve smiled broadly and reached out to shake her hand.
"You won't regret it Payson, I promise." As she watched him walk out of the gym, she sighed.
"I'd better not."
A/N: You guys are really incredible! Thank you so much for all the kind words goalie19, justxsmile, PSawyer22, Dawn of a New Eclipse, JCI, als, Elli-Wyatt, Steph, BearyFunny66, iheartcam, Bailey90, elliemarie84, JTellersOldLady, AndromedaJane, and xxCrimexObsessedxPrincessxx.
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