Chapter 6: Beside You
"If your heart wears thin / I will hold you up / And I will hide you when it gets too much / I'll be right beside you / Nobody will break you"
Weeks passed, but Payson still hadn't said anything to Sasha and she had no idea when she was going to. The girls badgered her every day with text messages and phone calls, pushing her to tell him and that only made her dig her heels in more.
"If you don't tell him, I will," Kelly said as Payson talked to her on the phone. She swiveled a bit in her office chair, doodling on her notepad.
"Kelly, just stop it," Payson begged. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Sasha come in, effectively ending that part of their conversation. "So, we're all set for this weekend?"
"Did he just walk in? Yeah, we're all set; your team will get here Thursday night, competition is Friday and Saturday, you'll go home Sunday. The press wants a post-competition press conference on Saturday afternoon."
"Got it. Okay, I actually have to go work now, Kelly, so I'll talk to you later. See you in a few days," Payson said.
"Yeah, yeah. Travel safe." Payson hung up the phone and turned to Sasha.
"The arrangements for the invite this weekend are taken care of; mom got us a block of hotel rooms on the same floor so we can keep an eye on the girls, plane tickets are in the safe, and schedule changes are made to cover for you and I being gone from here," Payson explained. Sasha laughed lightly and Payson frowned. "What?"
"You're still acting like gym manager," he shrugged, still smiling. Payson rolled her eyes.
"Come on, coach, let's get to work."
#
"Keeler!" Payson turned towards the sound of her name being called through the Miami airport. Austin Tucker stood at baggage claim, looking just the same as the last time she'd seen him two years ago at the 2016 Olympics. He smiled brightly.
Payson couldn't help herself, she ran and leapt into his arms, hugging him tightly. Austin had been a great friend and ally during her years as a gymnast and she cared deeply for him. Besides the girls, and Sasha, Austin was one of her best friends.
"Tucker! How are you?"
"I'm good. I'd be better if you let me and Kelly take care of that little prick Jeffrey," Austin said darkly. Payson shook her head.
"I appreciate the thought, but seriously, no."
"Fine," Austin sighed, setting her down. Then his face brightened again. "Kelly and I are taking you and Sasha out on the town tonight. Our assistant coaches will keep an eye on your girls at the hotel, so you can't say no."
Payson and Sasha exchange glances, but agreed.
#
"So, working with Keeler again, huh?" Austin asked, handing Sasha a beer and grabbing his pool cue. Sasha racked up the balls and then set up to break.
"Yes. She needed something to do, I needed an assistant coach," Sasha said, shrugging. Austin stared at him for a moment.
"What's that like? Being around her all the time and having her not be your underage, jailbait gymnast?" Austin asked. Sasha focused on his shot, sinking a striped ball into a corner pocket before taking a sip of his beer and looking up at Austin.
Austin had known about Sasha's feelings for Payson, although Sasha hadn't ever actually come right out and said it. Austin was weird like that, almost clairvoyant.
"It's…interesting," Sasha admitted.
"Interesting how? Are you two together?"
"No. We're in a very frustrating state of limbo; I love her, I think she might love me someday, but she's still fresh off this mess with Jeffrey and I don't want to rush her," he explained. Austin took his shot and sunk two solid balls.
"So basically you're torturing yourself, keeping the one woman you want, but can't have, close at hand?" Austin teased.
Sasha looked across the bar to where Kelly and Payson were sitting, leaning in close and talking animatedly. Payson smiled brightly at something Kelly said and Sasha thought she had never looked so beautiful.
"I guess so."
#
"Payson, when are you going to tell him?" Kelly asked, steering their lighthearted conversation into serious territory.
"I don't know. You know, things are great between us right now and I think that until something changes, I'm just going to let things be the way they are. I'll know when it's the right time," Payson said. Kelly sighed, but didn't press the issue, probably because Austin and Sasha were making their way back to the table.
For hours they drank and laughed, enjoying each other's company. Payson and Sasha flirted endlessly, with little touches here and there, lingering glances, and it all made Payson's skin tingle. She wanted nothing more than to throw her fears to the wind and have her way with him. But she managed to keep herself together for the evening.
"It's almost midnight, we should all be getting some sleep," Austin said, glancing at his watch. He pulled out his credit card and handed it to the waitress to close their tab, and then leaned back in his chair. "You guys ready to get crushed tomorrow?"
"Good luck," Sasha snorted. Payson laughed at the slight slur to his words.
"Come on, let's go," Payson giggled. As she stood up, a wave of dizziness hit her and she stumbled. She'd had more alcohol than she thought.
Sasha caught her by the elbow and the four of them laughed before heading out to the cab, which dropped Sasha and Payson at the hotel first before taking Austin and Kelly to their homes. As they wobbled through the lobby, leaning on each other, Payson felt more and more like she wanted to throw her fears out the window and just be with him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but maybe it was also just the push she needed to jump in both feet. She giggled at how cliché-ridden her thoughts were.
"What's funny?" Sasha asked as they rode the elevator up to their floor. Payson stared at him, still giggling.
"Nothing," she said coyly. Sasha waggled his eyebrows.
"Nothing?" Payson swayed on her feet just as the door binged open. Sasha wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her down to her room.
"What's funny?" Sasha pressed. Payson leaned into his chest as he worked her key into the reader and waited for the light to turn green.
"You're cute," Payson said quietly, like it was a secret. "Want to come in for a night cap?"
Sasha sucked in a breath and held it, looking like he might agree. Payson smiled, toying with the hem of his t-shirt, but Sasha surprised her by shaking his head.
"We can't," he whispered. She frowned.
"Why not?"
"You're drunk, hell I'm drunk, and that's not how I want to start," Sasha groaned, like he hated himself for saying it. Payson sighed and smiled at him sadly.
"I know. Goodnight, Sasha," Payson said, slipping through the doorway. "And thank you."
Sasha caught her hand, pulling her close to him and lifting his free hand to her cheek. Before she could process it, his lips were on hers, pressing firmly. Just as quickly as they were there, they were gone and so was he.
#
Payson groaned as the alarm buzzed bright and early Saturday morning. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her head was pounding. She hadn't been hung over since she and the other girls celebrated their win in London, and she had forgotten how awful it was.
Rolling out of bed, Payson shuffled to the bathroom for a glass of water and fumbled in her purse for extra strength pain reliever. Then, she turned the shower on as hot as it would go and waited for the steam to fill the small room. Just as she was about to step under the stream of scalding water, someone knocked on her door.
"Who is it?" Payson asked, glancing at the clock. None of the gymnasts would be up yet, she knew they would try to squeeze out every second of sleep they could.
"Room service, miss," a muffled voice replied. Payson frowned.
"Uh, I didn't order any room service."
"Yes ma'am, someone ordered it for you." Payson stood on her toes to look out the peephole and found a bell hop with a cart full of food. Curious, she opened the door and watched as he wheeled the cart inside. She handed him a tip and he left, closing the door behind him.
Payson started searching for a clue as to who sent her the food, even though she had an idea. Sure enough, a card sat propped between two covered plates.
Thought you could use some help with the hangover. ~S
Payson smiled and uncovered the food; a large southwestern omelet covered in cheese and sausage, bacon, and toast, all covered in grease and the best hangover cure she could ask for. But first, she needed to shower.
#
"Thanks for breakfast," Payson said softly as she moved to stand next to Sasha, watching the teams warm up. He grinned, a cocky, half-smile that said he knew what a heartthrob he was.
"You're welcome. How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Much better. They look good," Payson said, changing the subject to the gymnasts. They looked fantastic, like they would blow Miami Elite out of the water, Annabelle in particular. The girl wasn't as intensely focused as Payson had been, but she was incredible. She had Kaylie's girl-next-door commercial appear, Kelly's fire, Emily's stubbornness, and Payson's talent, like a little super gymnast.
"They do."
"You two ready?" Austin called from across the gym. Sasha gave him a thumbs up and the announcer called all the gymnasts to line up. Sasha and Payson gathered their team for a little pre-competition huddle.
"Ladies, I know that because Payson and I are close friends with the Miami coaches you might think this is a friendly little competition that doesn't really matter," Sasha said. "But it isn't. Every meet between now and the Olympic Trials is preparation, including Nationals and Worlds. You must do the absolute best you can at each meet in order to take yourselves one step closer to Johannesburg in 2020."
The girls stared at Sasha with wide, nervous eyes and Payson could so clearly remember when she was in their position. How she'd idolized him, trusted him…loved him. He looked over at her, his eyes inviting her to speak if she wanted to.
"You're all ready," she said simply. "The only thing that can stop you all from a personal best score is yourself."
They all brought their hands in, chalk floating around them and Sasha counted to three.
"Rock on!" Payson smiled at the plume of chalk that rose around them as the girls threw their hands in the air.
Payson took a deep breath and held it for a few moments, trying to get rid of her nervous jitters. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins, but she had no way to release it now that she was a coach instead of an athlete. She felt Sasha beside her and glanced at him.
"Nervous?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Why? It's not you competing," he pointed out with a smile, like he already knew what she was going to say.
"Exactly. I want to be out there," she said, a little whine to her voice. Sasha laughed loudly before squeezing her shoulder and moving away to give last minute instruction. Annabelle took his place, outwardly calm.
"How you doing, coach?" Annabelle asked. Payson saw her hands shaking ever-so-slightly. Most people would never have noticed.
"I think the better question might be: how are you?" Annabelle shrugged, trying to pretend she wasn't nervous.
"Good. Ready to get this over with," she said. She started to fasten her grips, getting ready for a turn on the bars.
"Nervous?"
"Not at all," Annabelle said lightly, barely a tremor in her voice. Then it was her turn and she was testing the tension on the bars and chalking up.
Annabelle's routine was flawless. Her DOD wasn't as high as it could have been , but Sasha wanted to save her big moves for big meets. Despite what he'd said to the girls about every meet counting as the next step towards Johannesburg, they weren't pulling out all the stops quite yet. For a little dual meet against Miami Elite there was no need to use the big moves and give away all their secrets.
"Great job, Annabelle!" Payson cheered as Annabelle stuck her landing. The judges flashed a near perfect score on the screen and Annabelle beamed, running over to hug Sasha and Payson.
The Rock girls performed fantastically, and Payson was beaming ear to ear. She couldn't imagine being more proud, unless maybe it was Harper out there. She felt like all these gymnasts were her own kids.
"Having a proud mum moment?" Sasha asked, grinning. Payson smiled back.
"I am. Did you feel like this with us, like a proud father?" Payson asked. Sasha was silent for a moment, and Payson looked over at him, wondering if he was going to answer at all. He had a strange look on his face, one she couldn't place.
"About the others, yes. Not about you," he said softly. She blushed and looked away.
"Keeler, Belov, let's go!" Austin called from the doorway. Payson saw Kelly waiting just outside, ready to face a sea of reporters who all wanted to hear about the coaching adventures of the four greatest gymnasts ever to come out of the United States.
Payson followed Sasha towards the crowd and they made a show for the reporters; Payson hugging both Austin and Kelly, Sasha shaking Austin's hand and kissing Kelly's cheek. The reporters snapped at least a dozen pictures.
"Nice job, Keeler," Austin said as she hugged him.
"You too, Tucker. Sorry it wasn't quite good enough," Payson teased. He mocked hurt as they all climbed onto a small stage that had been set up by Miami Elite's gym manager and took seats behind a folding card table.
"The coaches of The Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Center and Miami Elite will be answering a few questions pertaining to today's meet," the Miami Elite manager said to the crowd gathered at the base of the stage.
The first few questions were softballs, questions about the facts of the meet, scores, Olympic prospects for the girls, etc. Payson watched as one of the reporters answered his cell phone, covering his other ear with his hand. Then he smiled.
"Ms. Keeler, are you enjoying being back in the world of gymnastics? You took quite the absence," one reporter asked. Payson flashed her a smile.
"I am. Gymnastics has been such a huge part of my life, and coming back to The Rock was like coming home. Of course, Sasha has made it incredibly easy to transition into a coaching position, and the girls themselves are wonderful," Payson said. The reporter scribbled the quote on her notepad as another reporter's hand went up.
"Payson, how are you handling the news that your husband's mistress is pregnant with his child?"
Payson felt her heart stop. She hadn't known that Rebecca was pregnant; her spineless soon-to-be ex hadn't shared that with her.
The second the questions registered with everyone else in the crowd, Payson felt Sasha's hand on her knee, beneath the table, and she reached over to squeeze his fingers. She didn't know what to say, how to answer that question.
"Payson," Sasha whispered, squeezing her knee. She could feel Austin and Kelly's rage at Jeffrey and concern for her. She swallowed roughly and took a breath.
"I wish Jeffrey nothing but the best," Payson said through gritted teeth. Before the reporter could press the issue with another question Austin and Kelly signaled to their gym manager that the press conference needed to end, and she wrapped it up in a short, terse sentence.
"That's it for today."
#
Payson couldn't escape fast enough. She felt like the whole world was pressing down on her, keeping her from breathing, and she needed to be alone so that she could fall apart. As soon as she was released from the press conference she dashed down the street to the hotel and ran the stairs up to her room.
When the door shut behind her, she burst into tears. Jeffrey shouldn't still be able to affect her that way, but he did. She'd dedicated six years of her life to him, and he'd hurt her more than she thought possible. And now, he was throwing his betrayal in her face.
"Payson!" Sasha called, knocking firmly on the door. She pressed her hands harder against her face, hoping it would help her hide from Sasha. "Payson open the door!"
"Go away, Sasha," Payson groaned.
"I am not leaving until you open this door." Payson heard the tone in his voice, one usually reserved for coaching a stubborn gymnast, and sighed. She would have to let him in eventually, so it might as well be now.
She opened the door and then walked back to her bed, falling backwards onto it and draping an arm across her eyes. Her tears had dried and her anger had cooled, and she was left feeling…lost. She wasn't sure how to react anymore.
"Are you alright?" Sasha asked in a whisper, sitting down beside her. She shrugged.
"I don't know. I wish…I wish this were easier. I wish I could have just magically fallen out of love with him the second I found out about her, but…" Payson trailed off, unsure of how to put everything she was feeling into words.
"It isn't quite that easy, is it?" Sasha asked. Payson felt her lower lip tremble as tears started to well in her eyes again and she shook her head.
"It's so hard," she sobbed. Sasha pulled her up into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her, holding tightly.
"I know, love."
For a long time they just sat together, Payson wrapped in his arms and Sasha making soothing noises. Finally, Sasha pressed a kiss to her temple and started to speak.
"Payson, I know we weren't going to talk about this, but I love you. I will be here for you, no matter what, whether we're together or not, because I love you. We'll get through this together."
Payson's heart swelled, making her cry harder into his chest. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but like always the words caught in her throat. She couldn't give her heart to someone as fully as Sasha deserved if she was still caught up over what happened with Jeffrey.
So instead of telling him, she decided to show him. She kissed him.
Sasha's lips were warm and soft beneath hers and she shifted to get a better angle. Sasha's arms tightened around her and he hauled her into his lap, skimming one hand over her thigh and up to her hip as the other tangled in her hair.
"Payson, we shouldn't," Sasha whispered, pulling away just enough to speak. Payson grabbed his chin in her hands and looked him straight in the eye.
"Shh, just kiss me."
So he did. Payson sank into his kisses, moaning softly as his tongue pressed into her mouth. No one kissed like Sasha kissed. Without breaking contact, Payson worked her hands down his chest, scraping her nails over the fabric of his tee shirt and then slipped them beneath the hem and pushed it up, baring his chest. They pulled away just enough for Payson to lift the shirt over his head.
Sasha twisted and pushed her back, pressing her against the mattress and bracing himself above her. Payson ran her foot up his leg, shifting to bring their lower bodies into contact that made them both gasp. He rocked against her, sliding his hand beneath her shirt, skimming over the soft flesh of her stomach. She groaned.
"Sasha," she breathed. He nipped at her neck, working her shirt up her body.
"What, love? Tell me what you want," he rasped. Payson twisted her fingers in his hair, tugging, and arched against him.
"You. I want you."
A/N: Thank you to JCI, iheartcam, xxCrimexObsessedxPrincessxx, AngelWings8, BearyFunny66, and Elli-Wyatt for your reviews!
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It's a little later than I was hoping to post, but this week at work has been absolutely brutal so I had to finish the last half or so tonight. That said, if you enjoyed any part of this, or have something to say about it, PLEASE review. I know there are a lot of you reading this and who have this story on alert and that makes me so happy, but it makes me even happier to actually hear what you all love about it.
Thank you all for taking the time to read, and let me know what you think!