A/N 1: Oh, you guys are going to hate me.

Chapter 10: "Don't Give Up On Us"

"Don't give up on us, baby / Lord knows we've come this far / Can't we stay the way we are?"

"Where are the girls taking you tonight?" Sasha asked, lounging on the bed. Unfortunately for Payson he was fully dressed, although it was probably for the best; she was supposed to leave to meet Kelly, Kaylie, and Emily in ten minutes and a half dressed (or not dressed) Sasha would make that nearly impossible.

"We're meeting at Kaylie's, and from there I have no idea," Payson laughed. She finished fastening her earrings and jumped on the bed, leaning over to press her lips against his. He growled softly, threading his fingers through her hair and holding her close.

Payson pulled away just as the sound of little feet running down the hall reached her ears. Harper burst through the door a moment later, jumping onto the bed and bouncing up and down.

"Sasha!" she shrieked happily. Sasha grabbed her around the waist and tickled her, making her shriek even louder.

"Harper, are you going to have fun with Sasha tonight?" Payson asked, joining in the tickle fight. Harper laughed and tried to squirm away.

"Yes! Me and Sasha are going on a date," Harper said, very matter-of-fact. Sasha tweaked her nose.

"Yes we are," he agreed.

"Be good, okay? Both of you," Payson said, pointing playfully at her daughter and her boyfriend. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Harper's forehead and then reached for her purse.

"Where's mine?" Sasha asked, pouting. Payson laughed and leaned over to kiss him too.

"I love you!" she called as she sailed out the door.

"We love you!" Harper and Sasha called back in unison.

#

Payson knew that spending a quiet evening of quality time with her girlfriends at Kaylie's house was too much to hope for, but she hadn't expected the night the girls had planned.

"Payson…" Kaylie whined. Payson combed her fingers through her hair and winced as she hit a snag. Kelly had done something ridiculous to it, something that no Hollywood stylist had ever subjected her to, and even though it looked great, it itched and pulled like crazy.

"Seriously, Kay, what part of you thought this night sounded like something I'd enjoy?" Payson asked.

"You deserve to celebrate! What better way to do that than dancing?" Kaylie pressed. Kelly appeared behind her, making a sad face.

"Please Payson?" Kelly begged.

"Guys, you know Payson is too boring to go dancing on a night like this," Emily said from her place in the doorway.

"Fine!" Payson groaned. "We'll go dancing."

Payson was met with cheers from her three best friends, and the ushered out the door before she could change her mind. Kaylie drove them across town to the clubs frequented by the college crowds, which technically she guessed they still were. The club was pretty swanky for "broke" college students; with a velvet rope and everything. Of course, they were waved right in.

The music was almost too loud to handle, making Payson want to cover her ears. At least a hundred people were crammed on the dance floor and a hundred more were vying for the bartender's attention; only the prettiest girls with the biggest boobs were getting it. Kelly, Kaylie, and Emily turned to Payson, who was the curviest out of all of them.

"Emily and I will snag a table while you and Kelly get drinks, okay?" Kaylie said brightly, pulling Emily away. Payson couldn't help but laugh. If Payson's breasts couldn't get the job done, Kelly's bitchy attitude would.

"Come on!" Kelly shouted, grabbing Payson's hand and pulling her towards the bar. Payson looked down at the shirt Kaylie had practically forced her to borrow, on Kaylie it would be tastefully low cut, but Payson was practically spilling out of it. The girls had assured her she looked smoking hot, but she felt like she should be pulling the top up every five seconds.

As they approached the bar, Kelly leaned against Payson's back, pushing her forward and smashing her boobs together, and then whistled at the bartender. He turned to face them and Payson blushed as his eyes traveled down to her chest and stayed there.

"What can I get you lovely ladies?" he shouted above the music.

"Four gin and tonics, heavy on the gin," Kelly demanded. The bartender's eyes never left Payson as he quickly filled four glasses. Payson winced at how much gin he poured, and how little tonic.

"Here you go. Start a tab?"

"Yeah, why not?" Kelly shrugged, handing over her card. "We're celebrating!"

"Oh yeah? Celebrating what?" the bartender asked, leaning in close. Other patrons started shouting.

"My friend Payson here is officially divorced!" Kelly threw her arm around Payson's shoulders and hugged her tightly.

"Divorced? What are you, twenty two?"

"Twenty-four," Payson corrected, itching to get away from him. "Well, we'd better get these drinks to our friends, they get kind of grumpy when they have to wait too long."

She grabbed two of the drinks and started walking back towards the table, hoping Kelly would get the hint and follow. She did.

"He thought you were hot!" Kelly cried, giddy. Payson snorted.

"He thought my boobs were hot. Come on, Kelly."

"Come on what? You and Sasha might be all hot and heavy and love-of-the-century and all that, but you can still do some innocent flirting."

"I want nothing to do with flirting. I'm here to celebrate with my girlfriends, and that's it," Payson promised. Kelly gave a little pout.

"Who's flirting?" Kaylie asked as they set the drinks down. Payson rolled her eyes.

"The hot bartender was flirting with Payson," Kelly said.

"Yeah, until he found out that I'm a twenty-four year old divorcee," Payson groused. Emily nudged her with her elbow.

"That's hot! Come on, Pay, we're supposed to be celebrating, not moping," Emily begged. But Payson couldn't help it. It wasn't that she still wanted to be married to Jeffrey, or that she missed him, because she didn't, it was the fact that at just twenty-four her life had fallen apart. She'd been playing wife and mother at an age when most people she knew were in college, out partying and being carefree.

Payson knew that wasn't what she wanted, either. She had never been the kind of girl to enjoy that lifestyle, but a part of her still felt…lost.

"I know, I just…I don't know. I feel like a failure," Payson admitted.

"Oh no, we are not doing this right now," Kelly insisted. "One, you are in no way possible a failure and two, this is a celebration! You're getting your ass on that dance floor if I have to drag you out there myself." The girls pulled her to her feet, draining their drinks, and then forced her to the dance floor.

She had to admit, it was fun. After a few more drinks and a whole lot of dancing with the girls, she was able to almost completely forget her little quarter-life crisis and just enjoy the time with them. It wasn't often the four of them were able to be in the same city, and she made a pact with herself that she was just going to enjoy it.

Payson also had to admit it was nice to enjoy some harmless male attention, something that made her feel like Sasha wasn't the only man in the world dumb enough to be attracted to her. Several guys asked to buy them drinks, which they accepted because who refused free drinks?

They danced for what felt like hours before last call and then Emily, who was perfectly sober, drove them home.

"Thanks, guys," Payson said, getting out of the car at her house. She would pick her own car up from Kaylie the next day, when she wasn't drunk. "You're the best."

"We love you Pay, Pay!" Kaylie giggled.

"Go get yourself some hot lovin'!" Kelly teased. Payson blushed.

The house was quiet, she was certain that both Harper and Sasha were asleep. Tip-toeing up the stairs, she peeked into Harper's room, smiling at her sleeping daughter. The little girl looked like an angel, her fist curled into blanket that had been Payson's. She closed the door as quietly as she could and then moved to her own room.

Sasha was indeed asleep, the sheets draped low over his hip and his chest bare. Payson's mouth watered at the way the moonlight glowed against his skin. She dropped her purse in her closet and kicked off her shoes. Then she peeled off her shirt, standing in the middle of the room in a black lace push-up bra and a black skirt.

"You're gorgeous." Payson jumped, Sasha's sleep roughened voice startling her.

"I thought you were asleep," Payson said with a smile. Sasha propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes traveling her body.

"I was. Come here." Payson crossed the room slowly and then crawled across the bed until she was just inches away. Sasha reached up to trace his fingers over her face and then leaned in to kiss her.

Payson was expecting a slow, sweet, tired kiss, the way Sasha always kissed her first thing in the morning or right after waking up, but what she got was hard and thoroughly possessive, a kiss she felt in every part of her body. He wrapped his arm around her waist, dragging her across his lap and rolling her beneath him, all the while never letting his lips leave hers. She moaned into his mouth, pressing her hips against his.

Sasha moved away from her mouth, kissing down her neck and across her shoulder, unclasping her bra as he went. Then he kissed his way back up to her jaw, pulling away and smiling at her.

"You know, now that you're not technically a married woman, this isn't as exciting," he teased. Payson laughed and smacked the back of his head.

"Shut up and kiss me, you fool."

So he did.

#

"Call me when you land, okay?" Payson asked as she and Harper got out of Sasha's truck in front of Kaylie's house. Sasha was on his way to the airport, flying to New York for a NGO conference, and had dropped them off so that Payson could pick up her car.

"Of course, love. See you tomorrow night." Payson reached up and kissed him through the open window.

"Fly safe," she said. He gave her a wink and pulled away from the curb.

Kaylie wasn't home, but Payson knew she wouldn't be. Kelly had flown back to Miami early that morning, and Emily was spending the day with her brother, so Payson had planned the day to be just her and Harper, even though her daughter had begged to play with her unofficial aunts.

"Sweetie, Mommy has to stop by work really quick, and then we'll go to the park, okay?" Payson asked as she buckled Harper into her car seat.

"Okay!"

Payson drove them to the Rock so she could pick up some paperwork. As she shuffled through stacks of paper on her desk looking for the right one, Harper bounced happily on the trampoline. Payson's hand closed around the form and she turned to watch Harper from the office doorway.

"Come bounce with me Mommy!" Payson jogged down the steps and set her purse and the paper to the side before bouncing onto the trampoline.

"Want to see a trick?" Payson asked, laughing.

"Yes!"

Payson moved around Harper and ran the length of the tramp, throwing herself into a double Arabian. Harper shrieked with glee, clapping her hands together.

"Teach me Mommy!" Harper begged. Payson laughed, bouncing back to Harper and taking her hands.

"How about I teach you to somersault instead?" Payson suggested. Harper's smile was blinding.

"Yes!"

Payson helped Harper learn to roll herself into a somersault, guiding her little body into the perfect position. Harper picked it up quickly, and then Payson started to teach her a cartwheel. She couldn't deny that her daughter had at least some of her natural talent.

"Mommy, I want to be just like you," Harper said as Payson gathered their things almost two hours after they'd arrived. She reached for Harper's hand, smiling.

"Just like me?"

"Yes!" Payson knelt down in front of Harper, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind the little girl's ear.

"How about you be just like you?" Payson suggested.

"Okay!"

#

"Mmm, I'm so glad you're home," Payson sighed as she lounged against Sasha's bare chest.

"Even two days away is too much," Sasha whispered against her hair. Then he sighed. "But I do have to go back to my apartment."

Payson pouted and watched as he started to get dressed before doing the same herself. If Sasha was going back to his apartment, she needed to drop by her mom's and pick up Harper.

"Fine, leave me to sleep in this big bed all alone," Payson teased. Sasha smiled, taking her face in his hands and kissing her forehead.

"I can't wait until we're married someday, and I don't ever have to leave you again," Sasha murmured. Payson froze. Sasha hadn't ever mentioned marriage before, in fact she had thought he was pretty much indifferent to the idea. Which she had been okay with.

She laughed nervously, hoping he wasn't serious.

"Oh, I'm never getting married again," she said. Sasha stepped away from her, his eyes darkening.

"What?"

"Sasha I love you, but I'm never getting married again. Been there, done that, didn't really work out too well for me," Payson said with a shrug.

"So you wouldn't ever even consider marrying me?" Sasha pressed. Payson's heart started beating a little faster. She hadn't expected this kind of reaction from him, and she knew that now she needed to tread carefully.

"I'm saying…why do we have to get married? And, we haven't even been dating six months! It's a little soon to be talking about marriage, isn't it?" Payson asked. Sasha snorted, shaking his head.

"I'm not saying I want to get married right now, Payson, but it would be nice to know that the possibility exists."

"I'm twenty-four years old…"

"And already divorced with a child. You've never acted your age, don't start now," Sasha snapped. Payson winced.

"Sasha, I thought you knew…"

"What? You thought I knew that this was a dead-end relationship? Where are we going, if not marriage?" Payson felt tears welling in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Sasha, but she knew she didn't want to be married again, at least not anytime soon.

"Dead end? Sasha, marriage doesn't have to be the ultimate destination for a relationship!" Sasha shook his head, tossing his hands up in the air.

"I want to marry you, Payson."

"I just got divorced."

"And? I know Jeffrey hurt you, and I think he's pretty much the worst human being on the planet, but I'm not him! When are you going to stop comparing us?" Sasha shouted. Payson took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

"I'm not saying that you're Jeffrey!"

"You're treating me like I am. I'm walking on eggshells all the time, Payson, worried that I'll say or do something that will make you think of how much he hurt you. You have to trust me!"

"I do!" Payson screamed, her tears spilling over her cheeks.

"With your heart, Payson. You have to trust me with your heart. If you can't do that…" he trailed off, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his face. Payson clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to stop crying.

"What? If I can't do that then what?" She asked. Sasha sighed.

"I need to know that we're going somewhere, Payson. I spent the last six years loving you, knowing that nothing would ever change between us because you married Jeffrey. And then when you showed up back in Boulder, I thought it was miracle. We could finally be together. But I'm still loving you from afar! You won't let me close enough to love you, really love you, Payson, and that's a problem," Sasha said, his voice gruff with tears.

"Look, I have baggage Sasha, it's going to take time."

"And I can give you time! I can give you time if I know that someday in the future we'll be moving forward."

"I…Sasha I can't get married again," Payson sobbed.

For a long moment they just stared at each other. Tears were flowing freely down Payson's cheeks and Sasha's jaw twitched with the effort it took to keep his own at bay. Payson could feel him slipping away from her, like sand through her fingers, and she felt powerless to stop it. It was a pain worse than anything Jeffrey could ever have inflicted.

"Sasha," Payson breathed, hiccupping around a sob. She reached out for him, but he twisted and her fingers just grazed his sleeve. She waited for him to say something, anything. Even screaming would have been okay if would just talk to her, but instead he picked up his keys and shook his head before walking out the door.

Payson was left standing in the middle of her bedroom, unable to control her sobbing. And as the sound of his truck driving away reached her ears, she wondered if she'd just lost the only man she'd ever truly loved.

A/N 2: You hate me, right? I told you that you would. And I'm sorry to do this to you, but it had to happen. Really it did. So, if you must scream at me, please feel free to leave a review. And if it helps, I promise that the Sasha vs. Jeffrey confrontation you all have been begging me for is coming next chapter and it will be EPIC.

Also, a gigantic THANK YOU to HopeFlies, JCI, Elli-Wyatt, JacenLukeSolo, Ilovetoreadnwrite, angelwings8, justxsmile, Laura, iheartcam, Ida-cullen, crazylady789, and CaterinaFan159 for your reviews!