Chapter 11: Ashes and Wine
"Is there a chance? / A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel? / A reason to fight? / Is there a chance you may change your mind? / Or are we ashes and wine?"
"Payson, open the door!" Payson burrowed farther into the pillows, pulling the blankets over her head. Not only was this her first weekend without Sasha, but it was also Jeffrey's first supervised weekend Harper, so Payson was all alone in her giant house. She wanted to spend the time wallowing in her sadness, not being dragged outside by Kaylie and Emily, who were pounding on her bedroom door.
"Go away!" Payson groaned.
"Payson, you have to get out of bed. You haven't gone to work all week, you've barely spoken to your mom…we're worried about you," Kaylie sighed. Payson squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth. They weren't going to go away, and she knew it. Finally she threw the covers away from her body and rolled out of the bed, stomping across the room and flicking the lock. Then she turned on her heel and crawled back into bed.
It was a long moment before Kaylie and Emily ventured in; they were probably stunned she'd actually unlocked the door. Once they did, they crossed slowly to where Payson was laying and knelt on either side of her.
"Payson," Emily whispered, reaching out to brush the hair away from Payson's face. "What happened?"
Payson couldn't stop the memory of the fight from flashing through her mind and she felt tears rising for what felt like the millionth time; her throat ached with the effort of holding them back, her eyes burned. Finally she couldn't keep them in any longer and they started to spill from her eyes and soak into the pillowcase.
"I ruined it. The best thing in my life besides Harper and I ruined it," she sobbed. Kaylie and Emily shared a look of sympathy, one Payson didn't catch, and then they both lay down next to Payson. Kaylie laced her fingers through Payson's and Emily wrapped an arm around her, giving comfort in the only way they knew how. It only made Payson cry harder.
"I'm sure you didn't ruin it," Kaylie whispered. Payson shook her head.
"I did. I ruined it."
"How so?" Emily asked, choosing her words carefully.
"I told him I don't want to get married," Payson wailed, her voice muffled by the pillow. Emily and Kaylie looked at each other, confused.
"Why did that…tell us what happened Payson, from the beginning," Kaylie urged. Just as Payson started to speak, Kaylie's phone rang.
"It's Kelly, I'm going to put her on speaker."
"What the hell is going on?" Kelly snapped. "I've tried calling you like ten times."
"We're with Payson, Kelly, and you're on speaker," Kaylie warned.
"So? What's the deal?"
"Payson was just about to tell us," Emily sighed.
"Let's hear it, Keeler."
"Sasha said he wants to get married someday, I said I don't. It snowballed from there," Payson managed before she dissolved into tears again. Kaylie and Emily shared yet another look, panicked. They had no idea what to do; Payson wasn't usually a weepy person, at least not openly. This was new territory for them.
"Uh, well, Payson," Emily started, trailing off. She had no idea what to say.
"Pay, this is you and Sasha we're talking about. He waited six years for you. He loves you. Just give it some time and go talk to him," Kaylie urged. Payson shook her head.
"I can't. I don't deserve him."
"So you're just going to lie down and die?" Kelly snapped.
"I don't know," Payson groaned. Silence hung in the air.
"Payson Keeler, if you make me fly back to Boulder after I JUST left so that I can drag your sorry ass out of bed, I will kill you. Get up, go to work, and fix it!" Kelly shouted.
"Kelly, maybe we should give her some time…" Kaylie started.
"To what? Wallow? Come on Payson, we all know you're not one to wallow for long. Kaylie, Emily, you better make sure she gets out of bed, today, and then on Monday if I call the Rock and she isn't there, I will beat you all senseless," Kelly demanded. The three girls looked at each other in apprehension before Payson finally sat up.
"Fine," Payson snapped. "Just so you know, Kelly Parker, I hate you."
"You'll thank me later, and I'm okay with that."
#
Monday morning, Payson went into work. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but Kelly's threat to fly all the way back to Boulder was enough to make her get in her car and drive to the Rock. Kelly could be a scary bitch when she wanted to.
Payson timed it so that she would be late, missing conditioning and hopefully any awkward encounter with Sasha. When she walked in the gymnasts were already working and Sasha was across the room, coaching one of the boys on the rings. She ignored the sharp pain in her heart at the sight of him looking just as ragged and worn as she did and jogged quickly up to the office to drop off her purse before heading back out to where Annabelle was waiting.
"Where have you been?" Annabelle asked, glancing over at where Sasha stood. "He's in the worst mood today. Go work your magic."
"What?" Payson asked.
"Whatever it is you do that makes him not the big bad wolf. Go do it."
"Annabelle, there isn't anything I can do," she sighed. She didn't bother adding that it was her fault to begin with.
"But Payson, he's a nightmare!" Annabelle whimpered. Payson frowned, glancing back towards him. He was frowning, his jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. She heard him snap something at one of the male gymnasts and winced. He'd never been very good at keeping his emotions out of coaching; for a relatively closed off man, he wore his heart on his sleeve at the gym.
"He'll be fine eventually. Come on, we've got a lot of work to do."
#
"What the hell is the matter with you?" Marty asked as he and Sasha sat at a bar, drinking more than they should. Sasha frowned into his Scotch like the bottom of the glass held all the answers to his problems.
What was his problem? He had more than one. The first and biggest was that he missed Payson, and all the rest of them stemmed from that. The work week had been torture, the worst hell he could imagine; they hadn't spoken more than a handful of words to each other and every time he tried to talk to her, she got skittish and found an excuse to leave.
"Payson," he groaned. Marty shook his head.
"Last I heard everything was sunshine and roses," Marty said, not sounding at all surprised.
"She doesn't want to marry me."
"You proposed?" Marty cried, nearly dropping his glass in shock. Sasha shook his head, running a hand through his hair and then pulling it in frustration.
"No. I mentioned someday, and she panicked."
"Sasha, buddy, she just got divorced," Marty laughed. Sasha glowered.
"I'm aware, thank you."
"What were you thinking?" Marty asked. Sasha shrugged.
"I was just excited. I've been in love with her for so long and we were finally together and I forgot that she hasn't been in love with me for all that long," Sasha sighed. Marty snorted.
"Yes she has. That girl has been in love with you since she was sixteen."
"What?" Sasha scoffed, sure that Marty was feeding him bullshit.
"No elite gymnast risks their career to kiss their coach on just a crush."
"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Sasha grumbled, taking another healthy drink.
"Guess not. So what are you going to do about this little fight you two had?"
For a long time Sasha didn't answer, because he didn't have one. He could push the issue and risk making Payson more angry, he could leave her which just the thought of made him queasy, or he could pretend it hadn't ever happened which he doubted Payson would allow. There was no good choice to be made.
He was about to respond to Marty's question when he noticed someone walk into the nearly deserted bar.
Jeffrey.
"Whoa, Sasha, sit down," Marty demanded in his sternest coaching voice. Sasha hadn't even realized he'd gotten up.
"It would make me feel better," Sasha growled as he sank back onto his stool.
"No, it wouldn't."
Sasha was prepared to let it go; after all if he was going to marry Payson and be Harper's father someday, if they could ever get past the small issue of Payson not wanting anything to do with marriage, he and Jeffrey were going to have to learn to coexist without killing each other. He signaled to the bartender for a refill and ignored Marty's grunt of surprise.
"Sasha!" Jeffrey called, wandering over. Sasha groaned.
"Bugger off, Jeffrey," Sasha said, his words slurred.
"How's my ex wife?" Jeffrey asked, leaning heavily on the bar. Sasha could tell he was already wasted.
"Why do you care, man? Just leave it alone," Marty suggested. Jeffrey snorted.
"Now that we're not married anymore, I find myself missing the sex. Rebecca is…nice, but Payson was dynamite in the sack," Jeffrey said wistfully. "Although Sasha I guess you know that."
Sasha felt his blood pressure rising with every word from Jeffrey's mouth. He had no right to talk about Payson that way, to divulge any of the intimate details of their marriage, especially after everything he put her through.
"Jeffrey, walk away," Sasha growled.
"I mean, damn, I've been with a lot of women, but Payson was one of the best. Top five, for sure," Jeffrey rambled. Sasha couldn't take it anymore. His fists clenched and he lunged at Jeffrey.
Dropping his shoulder, he hit Jeffrey in the stomach, taking him down to the ground. He sat up fast, swinging his fists and hitting Jeffrey in the face, the ribs, the chest. Jeffrey hit back too, though his punches lacked much power. Sasha felt Marty's hands grab at his arms, trying to pull him off, but Sasha flung him away like he was nothing. Jeffrey had had a beating coming for a long time, and Sasha wasn't going to hold back anymore.
Jeffrey got some leverage and pitched to the side, rolling them so that he could get a few solid hits in. Sasha grunted under the impact, but it didn't slow him down. Instead, it spurned him on, making him hit harder and faster. His anger and all the pain he felt over the situation fueled him.
"Sasha!" Marty called. The bartender and another big, burly patron were rushing over, trying to help break up to fight. Sasha scrambled to his feet, pulling Jeffrey up by the front of his shirt and tossing him across the room, into the bar. Glasses fell to the floor and shattered, and Jeffrey cried out in pain. Sasha wobbled a bit, smiling.
"That all you got?" He yelled at Jeffrey. Payson's ex-husband took a moment to gather his strength and then lunged for Sasha, who miraculously managed to stay on his feet. He pushed Jeffrey back and then took a swing at his face, sending him crashing to the floor again.
"That's enough!" Marty shouted, slipping in between Sasha and Jeffrey and planting his hands on Sasha's chest. He prayed Sasha was thinking clearly enough not to hit him.
Sasha didn't hit Marty, but he did spin around him in a move that would make a pro-football player proud and descend on Jeffrey.
Sasha was relentless, raining hits down on Jeffrey like it was nothing. Jeffrey stopped trying to return the hits and started just trying to deflect them. It went on for what felt like forever before several hands were hauling Sasha off.
The drunken, angry haze didn't clear from Sasha's mind until he felt the cold hard metal of handcuffs being secured around his wrists.
"Come on you two," the officer said as his partner cuffed Jeffrey as well. "You can sober up at the county jail."
#
"Mommy, where's Sasha?" Harper asked as Payson handed her a cookie, her "dessert" before bed. Payson frowned, not quite sure how to explain the situation.
"Um…he had to go on a trip for a little while. But he misses you," Payson added, because she knew without a doubt that he did.
"I miss him," Harper said sadly. The phone rang, keeping Payson from having to respond and she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Keeler?"
"Yes, this is," Payson said.
"You have a collect call from Sasha Belov at the Boulder County Courthouse. Do you accept the charges?" Payson's heart sank. The only reason anyone would be placing a collect call from the courthouse is if they were being kept in the county jail beneath it.
"Yes," she sighed. After a moment where all she could hear was the static coming over the line, Sasha started talking.
"Payson? I don't have long," Sasha started in a rush. "I'm at the courthouse. Jeffrey and I were in a fight at a bar, they took me, him, and Marty down to the jail."
"What do you want me to do about it?" Payson asked.
"Will you come bail us out?" Payson could tell he was still drunk, slurring just the edges of his words.
"I have to drop Harper at my mom's for the night, it's late. I can be there in half an hour." Payson hung up the phone without waiting for a response and turned to Harper. "Want to go spend the night at grandma's, baby?"
"Yes! Sleepover!" Harper shrieked, jumping up and down and running upstairs to her room. Payson texted her mother a warning that they were dropping by and then followed.
#
"My, uh…friends are being held here for fighting in a bar?" Payson asked the security guard at the main desk. He looked up at her, uninterested until his eyes had time to take her in. Then he grinned. Payson wanted to hit him.
"The three guys?" he asked. Payson nodded. "If they were fighting over you, I can see why it got so messy."
"Can you just tell me what I need to do to get Sasha Belov and Marty Walsh out?" Payson sighed. The guard typed a few things into the computer and read whatever page came up.
"What about Jeffrey Thames?"
"No, just Sasha and Marty."
"Okay, five hundred bucks and I'll take you back to get them." Payson wrote out a check, not really caring about the amount of money, to her five hundred dollars wasn't all that significant. Then the guard took her back, unlocking the main door and leading her to the last cell in the row.
"Guys, your guardian angel is here," the guard said. Payson stared at the three men in the cell; Sasha and Jeffrey were black and blue, Jeffrey worse off than Sasha, and Marty just looked drunk.
"Payson!" Marty cried happily.
"What am going to do with you?" Payson asked, her question clearly directed at Sasha. He looked up at her, his eyes tired and sad, but didn't answer.
"Thanks Payson, let's go!" Jeffrey cried, jumping to his feet. Payson leveled her most intimidating stare on him.
"If you think I'm bailing you out of jail, you are even more delusional than I thought you were. If you want out of here, call your girlfriend," Payson snapped. The guard opened the door to the cell and let Marty and Sasha out.
"I'm going to call a cab. Thanks Payson," Marty said sincerely, leaning in and kissing her cheek.
"You're welcome, Marty."
Sasha climbed in the car and Payson started towards his apartment, and still they didn't say anything. It was not a fun car ride. Finally they got back to Sasha's apartment.
"Thank you," Sasha said quietly. Payson turned off the engine and started to get out of the car. "You don't have to come up."
"You can't wrap those hands yourself. Don't be a baby," Payson warned.
As soon as they got inside, Payson went straight for the first aid kit and started to tend to Sasha's hands. He sat quietly, not meeting her eyes. She hadn't felt this on edge around Sasha since after she first kissed him all those years ago.
As she wrapped Sasha's second hand, his first one drifted up to her hip, his thumb rubbing back and forth slowly. Payson closed her eyes, trying to ignore the thrill that spiked through her at just the smallest touch.
"Payson," he whispered, his voice ragged. Payson could hear the desire in his voice and stepped back before she could get lost in him.
"There you go, all set."
"Payson, wait," Sasha said, grabbing her hand as she moved away.
"Sasha, I can't…"
"I don't want to push you, but I need to know; is there any chance you might change your mind, even if it's years from now?" Payson wasn't sure how to answer that question. No part of her could see changing her mind, even in the future, but that didn't mean she wouldn't. But the last thing she wanted to was to string Sasha along if she didn't.
"I can't make promises about the future, Sasha, but right now? No."
Sasha's hand dropped from hers and he looked away sadly.
"Then I guess we're over."
A/N: I know this chapter is kind of short compared to the others, but I wanted to get this posted as I'm on vacation and have only very limited internet access. Hope you guys enjoyed it, even if it was a little heart wrenching! And didn't I tell you that Jeffrey getting his butt kicked would be worth it?
Thanks as always to my wonderful reviewers: HopeFlies, JCI, justxsmile, poppetrussell, Idacullen, AngelWings8, Laura, HarryPotterFan2010, crazylady789, Kiwiflea, Elli-Wyatt, and BearyFunny66.
Review please!