Tony was out in minutes of them finally settling down, and Steve shivered happily at the warmth that swept through him that he was 'safe' enough for Tony to fall asleep. He was surprised that Tony had agreed to his idea. And now that Tony was safe, now that Steve could see him, Steve fell asleep shortly after satisfying himself.
He didn't wake until it was dark out and he heard feet paused outside the doorway. Blinking at Tony, he rolled out of the bed when the man was still asleep and pulled the door all the way open before the person could knock.
"Steve!" Jan's hand was raised and her eyebrows flew up comically.
"Tony's sleeping."
"Uh. I figured." Her lips curved up in an amused smile. "Were you hungry? Is he going to eat anything. I'm sure his IV bag needs to be swapped out."
"Jan. We're—well I'm a little hungry. Tony's sleeping though. And I want him to keep sleeping. I—"
"Relax, honey. Hank can switch the bag, and I'll bring some food up." She paused and then she grinned. "So..."
"Don't start!" he warned.
"Oh Steve..." she huffed. "I've only seen it for months..."
"Months!"
Patting his arm, she smiled. "It's okay. Men are dense. I know. Now I'll leave you two." Another hesitation. "He doing okay?"
"Um. Well enough, I guess. I'm keeping an eye on him."
"I know you are. I'll be back." She turned and wandered down the hall.
Steve shuffled back to the bed and stretched himself out next to Tony, watching his face. Watching his face twitch a little as he slept. Peacefully, Steve hoped. He propped his head up on an elbow, waiting, watching while Hank came in and swapped out Tony's IV bag.
"Morning," Tony mumbled as Steve shifted the blankets. Hank glanced at him and then
"Hey, Tony," Steve breathed. He waited while blue eyes cracked open at him, fluttering a bit, soft with sleep. Not quite awake. Lips twitching into a smile while his eyes closed again in a yawn that pulled his whole face in. Steve almost chuckled.
Tony shifted under the blankets, tossing them off. "Hot..." he complained, then scowled at the IV still in the back of his hand. "Can I take this out now?"
"Leave it in, for now. You were pretty dehydrated," Steve said, intercepting the hand that went to scratch.
Tony groaned, flopped on his back and then immediately hissed and rolled to his side. "Fuck, that's unpleasant."
"How about a bath?" Steve asked.
"A bath, Steve? I shower. I only take baths if I'm planning on seducing someone to my bed afterwards. And I'm pretty sure I'm not doing that any time."
"Oh. Shower then." Steve shrugged. "After breakfast."
Tony's brow arched, amused. "Do you have the rest of my schedule for me, Mr. Rogers, my friendly neighbour?"
"Huh?"
Snorting, Tony shook his head and sat slowly as if assessing the situation and then threw his legs over the side of the bed. "After your time. Or. In between. Whatever. Confusing." He grabbed the IV stand and shuffled towards the bathroom. "I'm fine," he said when Steve got up.
"I can see that. Do you need anything?"
Tony paused in the doorway, back to Steve. "Uh..." His shoulders tensed as Steve stepped closer.
"Sorry." His heart clenched as Tony flicked him an annoyed guilty glance.
"This is... Jesus. This is so stupid."
"Taking a shower?" Steve asked, trying for levity. Tony's pride was a careful thing.
"Being afraid."
"Oh Tony, no." Steve ducked in front of him, his heart swelling, knowing how much it hurt to admit fear. "There's nothing wrong with being afraid." He ran his hands over Tony's arms, still encased in a sheet and satin pyjamas under that.
"Don't give me the speeches, Cap," Tony replied bitterly, staring at his feet. "This is me. I thought..." He groaned. "I really don't want to go into it..."
"So don't. You don't need to talk about it yet," Steve said, hands stilling on Tony's arms.
"I can't..." Tony threw his hands off and balled the sheet up to toss onto the bed. "Fuck! I thought I was done with this shit!" He flinched as there was a knock on the door.
Steve took a steadying breath. Tony had been about to talk and now he was looking furtively between the door and the bathroom.
"Just me, boys. Brought breakfast!" Jan poked her head in. "Hungry?"
"Thanks, Jan. Just set it down please."
She nodded and put the tray down on the sidebar and hovered by the door. "Tony, honey, you doing okay?"
"Jan, that better be the first and last time that you're going to ask that question. Thanks for breakfast," he added when Steve threw him a look. "I'm just gonna shower. Be out later."
She smiled "Oh, don't worry about it. We got everything covered." And then with a wave, she was gone.
"Steve. The door. Open the door."
He hurried to the door and cracked it before heading back over to Tony, touching his shoulder and trying not to be offended when he flinched again.
Gritting his teeth, Tony grabbed his hand and placed it on his own shoulder. "This is ridiculous. I refuse to go around flinching every time I'm touched." He grabbed Steve's other hand and placed it flat over his arc reactor, staring through Steve's chest and keeping his breath even.
Steve's heart ached. Tony's chest was warm, shoulder solid, if thin, beneath Steve's other hand. Waiting until the other man's breath evened out, Steve slid his arms around Tony and pulled him close to his chest.
"Wha—Steve? Wait, Steve. What..."
"Is this okay?" Tony was tense, but not pushing him away. He was probably pushing the limits... He bit his lip. Tony had just said he was not so okay with touching. Even Steve. And now—he grunted as Tony's arms came up around his back, gripping his shirt. "Oh. Okay." And then Tony sagged against him.
"Okay. I'm okay with this. This is fine..." And stayed there for a minute before dropping his arms and wriggling out of Steve's. "And that's good for now. 'Kay, I'm going to shower. You..." Tony looked at him, bit his lip and squinted half a second. "Can you just. Um. Stay by the door. The open door. We can talk. Or something."
Steve smiled. "Sure. That's fine." The tightness in his chest didn't go away while he and Tony fell into a stilted facsimile of their prior patterns of teasing mindless chatter, but he sat across the doorway and hoped he was a comfort all the same. Tony finished shortly in the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist and one draped around his shoulders when he came into sight. More scars for the man to be ashamed of. Tony had just recently stopped being shy about the arc reactor around Steve when they'd changed before or after sparring or for emergency showers from chemicals or something like that that happened more frequently than it should. He fetched Tony a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and waited outside while he changed and then joined him on the bed to make him eat something. It was a small fight, but when he sat back against the headboard watching Tony eat, he could feel nothing but satisfaction. He scooted down until he was lying flat on the bed, happy with everything. Happy with Tony eating. Happy Tony was safe again and home. Happy he trusted Steve. Happy Steve was with him. He dropped a slice of orange in his mouth from the tray Jan brought and then poked Tony in the cheek with another.
"Wha—Steve! What are you—five?" But Tony's lips quirked in a smile.
Happy Tony was smiling. He poked Tony's lips with it next, pushing it in when Tony opened his mouth to protest. Then laughed when he grumbled around it, but chewed and swallowed.
"Hey Steve..." Tony said, looking down at his lap, fingers twitching like he wanted to be tinkering instead. "Do you...like me?"
He sat up. How on earth had he misconstrued his feelings so badly— "Tony! Of co—"
Tony interrupted him with a waved hand. "No. We're friends. Of course you like me. Enough. No. I mean... Steve." He looked up and met Steve's gaze. "Do you want-to-have-sex like me?"
Steve gaped. "I..."
"I didn't break you, did I?" Tony joked casually. Even though the divot between his eyebrows and the creases at the corners of his mouth said otherwise.
"I..."
"Wow. You know. When people use the phrase "eyes as big as saucers," I think they meant yours right now."
"Uh..."
"I did break you." Tony dropped his eyes and leaned away. "Or you're taking a really long time to think of a way to lie to me. Steve, you like me romantically, right?"
Now his brain kicked on. "Shit!"
"Captain America swearing! That's got to mean something, right?"
"Tony! Stop joking!" he whispered, heart flying and stomach twisting.
"Shit, Steve. Steve, I'm not making fun of you, I promise! I was just... I was wondering! I'm flattered! I am. I just..."
"You're in no place for a relationship," Steve blurted. Then winced mentally and forced a smile to his lips. "It's fine."
Tony stared at him. "Oh God. Liar. Now I've really broken you. Fuck. Steve. Shit. I'm messing this up. I don't... I'm—you're right. I'm not. Relationships. Bad. They don't work out for me. I screw it up. And you're my friend. My best friend. And I want..." Tony cut himself off with a groan and thrust his fingers into his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry—I don't... Wow. I've never really turned anybody down before. Not.. not like this. Not someone who matters... Oh Steve, I'm sorry."
Well. That wasn't too mortifying. Steve stared blankly at Tony's dark head that was curled down to avoid Steve's eyes. "Okay," he said faintly. "That's...fine. I'll just..." He shifted to move, but Tony's hand flew out to grab Steve's ankle. He blinked at it before following the skin up the arm to Tony's shoulder and then Tony's face. "Do you...uh..."
"Can you stay? God, I'm such a dick for asking, Steve..."
"I'll stay. Yeah. I'll always stay. You're still my best friend too, Tony," Steve found himself saying as he resettled.
In fact, Steve spent most of the next week with Tony. Whatever time he could spare, he spent with Tony. And came to three decisions. One, he was really desperately in love with Tony. Jan was right. He gave Tony preferential treatment, thought about him first usually and relied on him most, and he gave Tony special leniency in things (he usually let Tony's smart-mouth comments pass more often, let Tony eat the last whatever since he'd take ingested calories wherever he could, allowed more of Tony's chatter on the comms). Two, he was taking what he could get. If Tony didn't love him back, then he'd settle for best friends. Even if this line seemed blurred even to him, what with sleeping in the same bed and all. Which lead to three. Three. He had to stop sleeping in the same bed as Tony and spending so much time with the man. Because honestly, he was a little needy, and Steve just wanted to help in whatever way he could, but Tony was being so open (they still hadn't talked about what happened while he was kidnapped) and he didn't want to stifle that. Okay. Four decisions. Four, Steve had to stop behaving like a teenage girl. This was getting ridiculous.
But he finished the sandwich and grabbed the glass of milk and took it down to Tony in his workshop.
"Steve! Come see!" Tony's hand appeared over a pile of stuff, waving around.
"Hey, Tony. Are you hungry?"
"No, not right now, I'm in the middle of something. Come see!"
Setting the sandwich down on an uncluttered and relatively clean surface, Steve came over and squatted down next to Tony. "What is it?"
"Ta-da!"
Steve frowned. "Okay. But what is it?" He reached out to touch the small black pieces of...something, but Tony slapped his hand away.
"Not yet, stupid. They're still a little fragile."
"What are they?"
"They're trackers! And recorders! Tracker recorders. I'll have to think up a better acronym for them. But you stick it to your skin and then it'll assume your skin tone and be pretty much invisible. And they record what's going on. So like, you stick it to your forearm or something. And it records sound. And also relays a signal back here, to the Tower where it can be tracked. So that way someone will be able to tell where you are if they need to. Isn't that awesome? It's awesome."
Steve chuckled and shook his head. "That's what you've been working on?" He sat back and crossed his arms over his knees, listening to Tony ramble on. He was better. Physically. The burns had turned pink and shiny. The welts had gone down. The bruises were fading. The cuts were healing over and vanishing.
The first night after Steve had somehow confessed to his liking Tony, he had pulled one of the big armchairs towards the bed. Tony had looked at him, genuinely confused.
"I thought..." Steve's hands fluttered between the bed and the chair. "I'd sleep here...?"
Tony had just laughed. "Steve. Just because you dig me, doesn't mean I'm gonna make you sleep on a chair. You can join me in the bed." He'd teased and cajoled Steve until Steve gave in and curled up facing Tony. And then flipped over to face away from Tony to watch the cracked door. And in the darkness, Tony had asked quietly, "Steve, why do you like me?"
He'd been quiet, honestly not knowing how to answer him.
"I know you're not asleep."
"Because you're a dick sometimes," Steve had quipped, grinning into his pillow as Tony shifted and let out an offended grunt.
"No seriously."
Steve had rolled over. "No seriously."
"You like me because I'm a jerk? What the hell, Rogers!"
He'd laughed. "Tony, I like you because you try. You're not perfect, and you're passionate. You really want me to tell you?" Again, his face felt hot. He was glad it had been dark.
"No. No, it's fine. Go to sleep." The sheets rustled again.
"Are you...okay with this, Tony?" He'd asked after a while. But Tony hadn't answered, just mumbled something that didn't even indicate he'd really heard.
"Steve, are you listening to me?"
He stared and blinked at Tony. "Yeah." Smiled.
"Liar." But Tony grinned as well and leaned towards him before rocking back and getting to his feet quickly. "You brought food?"
Steve nodded. "Your sandwich is over there on top of those boxes. Milk too."
"You're too good to me." He wiped a hand over his thigh and then grabbed the sandwich, eating it quickly and downing the milk in less time than Steve would have thought possible.
"Woah, slow down..." Steve leaned against a pillar, watching him.
"Okay, mom," Tony retorted, before brushing past him to his tracker devices.
"What are you doing now?"
"Gotta program them. You know. To peoples' specific signatures and stuff. And program their names and info into them. Coded, of course. They're unhackable, even if someone did discover them, but they should never stop transmitting a 'here I am' signal. To the good guys..."
Steve shook his head and headed back upstairs to do some work for Fury and coordinate with Jan for meetings and emergencies.