This is not an actual journal for any of the people listed here. Nor will it ever be. This is a journal for my muses.
The people you'll see here include Amazing Red, James Storm, Haylee Jacobs [OC], Frankie Kazarian, Trent Barreta, Tina Corino [OC], Sierra Hickenbottom [OC], Rydell Borden [OC], Scotty Rechsteiner [OC], Alex Shelley, Evan Bourne, Danielle Brooks [OC], Ariana Hart [OC], Regina Ellington [OC], Jayden Black [OC], Crimson, Edge, Cody Rhodes, and probably others I can't remember.
January 22nd 2012
As much as I hate plane flights, I've found they're great for thinking about things, and working through stuff that I got to deal with. With the lack of inexpensive alcohol on these flights, I've grown to limit myself at getting drunk on a plane. Plus, Robert saying he refuses to pay for my drinks anymore helps a fair bit. I did manage to get one drink though after stealing money from him when he left briefly to use the bathroom.
Many men in our business have used plane flights to join the mile high club; I've done it too with this one chick I used to go with. Not so much with Robert. I guess he feels he's above that stuff. I don't know, he's strange in that way but I've accepted it. But, lots of other guys have done it, like right now I can see Austin and Alex creeping into the bathroom right now. The flight attendants haven't noticed, or if they have they don't care. I think they get off hearing the noises from the bathroom quite honestly. I'm not even sure how they ended up on our flight, well actually yeah I know how; they got diverted to JFK due to the weather and got on our plane. Lucky us.
But, back to my dilemma for this flight, well it's not really a dilemma it's more of a slight problem. Before the flight, I got a message from my ex-girlfriend about having her and our child come out to see me and Robert after we got back. Normally, that wouldn't be bad, Robert and her get along really well, and we all love my little Gabriel, but it made me think. Years ago, I dated this woman named Jetta Jarrett, the younger sister of Jeff Jarrett. Jeff never liked it, he spited us all the time, saying we were going to last. I guess he was right in the long run, but at the time, I absolutely loved her. I wanted to marry her, settle down with her, all of that cheesy shit. Anyways, I got her pregnant and that's when the problems started. Or rather, that's when I realized I wasn't really in love with her; I was in love with the idea of being in love. Lame I know but it's true.
I broke up with her before she gave birth to our kid, but I was still there for the birth, I still accepted that he was my son. I still do to this day. But after we broke up, I got with Robert. I learned shortly after I broke up with her that the reason there was no spark between us anymore, and all the drama with her brother that I had dealt with helped too, was because I was because I was gay and in love with my male best friend. Robert and I got together around the time Gabriel was born, and while he wasn't our child, Robert accepted him pretty well. He still does even to this day. I guess it's not really that bad, but it makes me wonder sometimes. It makes me wonder if all of this was worth it. I mean, I got a kid with a woman I don't care about anymore, and a boyfriend that I love more than anything.
In the end, I still have Robert. I always had him I think. I love Robert a lot, and I wouldn't change anything after I got with him. But sometimes I wonder if all of the crap before it was worth it. If none of that had happened, I wouldn't have him.
Nor would I have him sleeping on my shoulder and drooling on my shirt, ew. Maybe these long flights aren't good for thinking, my head hurts. Where's my beer?
Cowboy James Storm