My public service announcement for the end of the year, a time when many people are feeling down:
Alanna's moment of self-discovery early in the chapter is based on a similar event in my own life. For anybody having a bad period, remembering that you deserve to be happy is a huge moment. Don't run away from it.

Happy New Year, everybody, you'll see more of Lady Lioness in 2012!

Chapter Eight

No matter what anyone else said, Alanna knew her brother was lonely.

That was the reason they had their nearly-silent teas nearly twice a week, where he would occasionally compliment the tea or repeat some approving comment that Roger had made about her. It seemed that Thom hadn't the faintest idea that she and Roger were something like enemies, and if Roger was happy with that deception, Alanna was just as pleased. It was hard enough to keep the smallest hold on her brother when Roger could offer him power and acknowledgment and everything that their father never had.

Thinking of that led to Alanna's third comment of that day's meeting. "Father is settling in, right now, but we could both go to see him after this if you'd like. I know he'll want to talk to both of us during his stay."

Thom's eyes narrowed. "Father's here?"

Alanna had been patient. She had let Thom spend most time in her little sitting room to absolute silence, and had even begged Salma to take some free time elsewhere in the palace so it would be the two of them. Salma hadn't approved, as she still didn't like Squire Thom, but had given way in the end when she realized it was that important to Alanna.

A full week after George had told her about Roger's plans for one Arram Draper, Thom was closer to Duke Roger than ever. There was no sign that Thom disapproved of any one of the wonderful Roger's actions, and it was making Alanna think that she was only delaying the inevitable. If Thom would turn on their father…

In time, she was going to lose him. Maybe she should accept that grief now and leave room in her life for people that cared about her. She wanted Thom to be happy, but she deserved to be happy, too. Not even her twin brother took away her own right to try being happy.

Alanna stood up slowly. Thom was always fast to move when he was angry, but time and self-control had left her very deliberate in her anger. "Thom, you would be happy that Father was here if you weren't ashamed of yourself for the way you've been treating him. As it happens, I didn't write a word to father about what you did, because I didn't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt you, either, but I can't avoid that without ignoring everything that you've done.

"Thom, you should know that Roger and I are never going to be friends. We'll make polite faces and say polite things in public, but I hate him for what he's done to you and for what he wants to do to the world." The words felt immeasurably good to say. "I can't believe a twin of mine would be party to all of the things that he wants to do, starting with Arram Draper. If you really believe that an eight year old boy created a healer-killing fever and sent it from Carthak, then I'm the queen of the Copper Isles."

"Draper's twenty-two!"

"Then he was more powerful at sixteen than you are now," Alanna snapped. "Take a look at him when he comes, Thom, you'll probably have a prime seat for the execution of a child that was a threat to Roger's power." No matter how angry she was, she couldn't say that Thom might preside over her own killing. As infuriating as her brother had become, she loved him.

That let her cool her temper the slightest bit, and to speak before Thom could collect himself. "I do love you, Thom, and I always will. You used to understand me better than anyone else, and I used to know you better than anybody."

"But we're done," Thom said flatly. "Well, that's fine with me, sister dear."

If the cutting inflection was meant to hurt her, she was too angry for the tone to land any scores on her. He stormed out of her room, which was all the better. She cleaned the entire tea set with magic, scrubbing away any trace of him, and stormed off to the library while still in a high temper. She avoided the common corridors, managing to frighten only two maids on her way to the library.

Sir Gareth the Younger hadn't been present all week, but of course he was at the central table looking sour and as unapproachable as she'd ever seen on the one day she was in no mood to charm anyone. She'd have a hard time charming paint to dry, so she gathered her favorite books with more force than completely necessary. When she settled at a table to rehash Carthaki inheritance laws and the current royal family, she did so with deep furrows between her eyes that would give Sister Thele fits about later wrinkles and the ruination of such nice skin.

Twenty minutes later, she was still tracking down the many, many heirs to the Carthaki throne when she finally gave up on her mental dialogue. It wasn't like anyone was near enough to be disturbed. "You'd think they could have some kind of lineage, there's enough fancy titles for everybody to want a big old parchment of it. Somebody needs to inherit after Ozorne."

Behind her, someone cleared his throat.

"That will probably be His Royal Highness Kaddar, prince of Siraj, duke of Yamut, count of Amar, first lord of the Imperium…and eventual heir apparent to His Most Serene Emperor Ozorne of Carthak." Gareth grinned, taking in her expression. She likely looked just as sour as he had twenty minutes before. "Of course, he's all of two at the moment, so Ozorne's rather safe. There are other heirs, actually, but by virtue of his age, Kaddar's the least likely to say dim things at court, be branded a traitor, and wind up executed."

Alanna raised a brow. "He's two."

"Given the right regents? He has the right bloodlines to prevent a civil war better than anyone else." Gareth nodded to the open seat beside her.

"Of course," Alanna said, too bemused to disagree. "I can't help but ask about your motives, however. I know we aren't friends."

"Raoul said you were nearly as bad as I am," Gareth admitted easily. "I think he was being generous to me, though, because you're much more polite. Really, I couldn't help but admire such a fine display of temper, and I am trying to remove my head from my posterior."

"Well… consider yourself forgiven, then." Alanna thought it would be harder, but she knew her mother would have frowned on any sort of grudge-holding, no matter who had been insulted. "What's this about civil war?"

Gareth explained himself at great length and with great enthusiasm. Raoul wandered in about halfway through Gareth's full description, requiring Gareth to start the summary again while the three of them considered several different tomes and two hand-etched parchments tracking the convoluted ruling house of Carthak.

"That more than answers my question," Alanna said nearly an hour later. "Thank you, Sir Gareth."

Gareth winced. "Gary, please. Sorry, but it still…"

"It's like when Trebond's head maidservant kept calling me 'my lady,'" Alanna sympathized. "It's hard when you don't feel that you earned the title."

Raoul nudged both of them approvingly. He was gentle with Alanna's shoulder, but Gary visibly wobbled from Raoul's shove. "Knew you'd get along."

"Where did you pick up so much about politics?" Alanna asked, when it was clear that Gary would rather not talk about past misdeeds or distance.

"It's important when my line's always been close to the throne," Gary admitted. "Jon was my cousin, not just my friend. Duke Roger of Conté is closer, of course, but Naxen is the next duchy in line for the throne. Along with four others, but my family's always been the favorite when it came time for someone to fill a throne. We grow on people. Rather like mold."

Alanna laughed, more at the expressions Gary made than the words. "Well, let's not say too much of mold, please. My father has a poor enough time at the palace without fussing about mold in his food."

"Lord Alan's making an appearance?" Gary blinked, then looked accusingly at Roaul. "Why don't I know about this?"

"You've been holing yourself up in the library all day," Raoul said without much sympathy. "I told you nobody talks to you in here, but apparently you made an exception."

"Well… I finally ran into somebody that looked as angry as I felt."

Alanna couldn't take offense when he was being so honest. "You can walk me to dinner, then, because Myles had some mysterious errand to do."

"Myles really took to you," Gary said thoughtfully, tucking her arm around his perfectly despite his abstracted air. "We'll leave the books, I have the feeling we'll want to talk more later. The servants assigned to the library trust I'll put them away when done with them."

"I get the feeling that he wanted a child of his own, and… well, I don't mind if he practices a little on me," Alanna replied.

Raoul looked something close to smug. "No wonder you're always gossiping like an old woman, Gary, it is nice to know something nobody else does."

Alanna knew Raoul well enough to elbow him sharply in the ribs. Well, she had aimed for the ribs, but she actually hit somewhere in his abdomen. He still wasn't fazed. "Well?"

Raoul grinned, conceding with good grace. "Myles is visiting a healer in Corus, and it's not for any sort of ailment. He looked a little moonstruck, actually, and the servants were having a great time getting him all dolled up enough to court the belle of a ball."

"Good for him!" Alanna cheered. "I'd bet that I know who it is, Gary, but it'd be an unfair bet. It's my healing tutor. He and Eleni Cooper were making eyes at each other a week ago, and he wouldn't care she's a commoner."

"Cooper?" Gary's gaze was very sharp, but his expression was amused. "Any relation to George Cooper?"

Lying had never been one of Alanna's strengths. She blushed.

Gary looked around them in a fast circle. "You know the king of thieves?" he asked in a loud whisper. "What kind of lady are you and why didn't Raoul bully me into talking to you before? I know the two of you were going to pretend at courtship to keep the rest of the bloodthirsty hordes at bay, but I'm not letting either of you leave me alone."

"George recommended that I should befriend you, actually, to confuse Rog—er."

Gary's smile was just as bloodthirsty as the hordes he had maligned. "Better and better. Far too many people like my late cousin's slimiest relation. Goddess bless her, Lianne was stronger before he came back, and weaker and weaker after." Gary nodded decisively. "We're keeping her, Raoul."

Raoul laughed, saying nothing to disprove of the declaration.

"I'll need to introduce both of you to my father, I suppose," Alanna said speculatively. "He's probably the guest of honor tonight, from what my maid told me earlier. That should ruffle enough feathers of people that don't happen to like the three of us, and make the court gossips' day a happy one."

True to her word, Alanna set many gossips into a tizzy of chattering when she walked into the ballroom escorted by a man who had previously disliked her, and both of them followed by her assumed fiancé. All expecting drama were sorely disappointed, however. Lord Alan kissed his daughter's forehead, said several polite things about her manner and her companions, and did not add one bit of scandal. Before people could fully enjoy themselves about the impropriety of one lady and two gentlemen, however, Cythera tapped Alanna on the shoulder.

"May I borrow one of your escorts, Alanna?" Cythera asked, laughter in her eyes. "I seem to have forgotten to procure one today, but I did say that if Gary would remove his head from his posterior, I would honor him with a dance."

Gary actually blushed. "I wouldn't say that's entirely true yet, my lady."

"That denial is the best sign that it is true, your grace," Cythera retorted. "Well, shall we? I do have an empty seat at my table, and you can distract me from Harailt and Muirne mooning over each other."

Raoul chuckled as Gary followed dazedly after the animated blonde. "Well, that's torn it. He's had a bit of an infatuation since she turned him down so volubly at the big town party where Alex proved himself a snake. Gary made a play for her, with her being the prettiest single woman left in the place, and she made it very clear that anyone so cruel to you had no chance with her."

"That seems like forever ago, now, and it's all well now. That's how I met my friend George."

"Ladies don't have commoner friends," Raoul warned. "Not opposite-sex ones, anyhow. Call him a cousin and nobody'll bat an eyelash."

Alanna's forehead wrinkled as she considered 'Cousin George.' "I'll just say he's my mentor's son, then, and be honest about it. He definitely doesn't act like family."

Raoul looked as if he was going to make some odd comment, but he shook his head in lieu of speaking it. "That sounds right enough to keep the conservative folk happy. I'll sit with you and your father, if you don't mind. Just talking to you at dances has kept the matchmakers away from me."

"Most nobles don't think matchmakers are so bad." Alanna couldn't help but wonder why he hated the idea so much.

"My parents were match-made, and they were living proof that it doesn't always go well. Well, my father was proof before he passed away, and my mother isn't doing much better. They weren't happy. I'd rather be single and happy than take a chance on misery."

Alanna could hardly argue with that. "I feel the same, Raoul. If I don't find someone that will make me happy, I won't be married. I can support myself as a healer if it comes to that."

"It won't," Raoul promised. "We'd be spinsters together and you could live off Goldenlake in a way that screams usury to the world, if you'd like."

Alanna smiled. The conversation turned to milder things as they approached the main table, and dwindled to nothing before she curtsied to King Roald. She couldn't help but notice Roger's presence, and Raoul was just the same. Her dear friend, however, gracefully took the seat that blocked Alanna from Roger's view entirely. In the light of Thom's poor temper and worse humor, it was a blessing to have friends. Eleni, Myles, Raoul, George, and even Gary would take care of her, and that left her to start untangling just what Roger was hoping to accomplish.