In honor of the holiday season, an ATC for The Ghost of Christmas Past in Two Parts
Sunshine filled the parlor, as the family looked happily at one, pleased that the Captain has brought them all together in a most special way this Christmas morning. As one extra thought came to mind, Claymore called out, "Captain? Captain!"
Appearing just behind him, letting his voice rumble, the Captain answered, "Hello," as we waited for the usual moment of Claymore's fright to pass. "You are so tricky!" his erstwhile nephew said with pleasure. "Captain, was the baby my ancestor?" Claymore asked, 'clearly missing the point', Carolyn thought with certainty, 'this was no history lesson that they had all experienced,' she mused 'it's a declaration of love, a celebration of the joy,' she paused in her thoughts, trying to put on a happy smile that didn't show how deeply moved she was by all that had occurred. 'It's nothing less than Daniel Gregg's testimony about how much he loves us . . . and me, absolutely me. I've got to get some time alone with him; I can't let this day go too long without finally saying the words he has been brave enough to say himself!'
She pulled herself up out of her planning to see the two Greggs' leaning toward one another, with a long, dramatic pause, the Captain drawled, "Claymore, even in a dream how could I possibly do such a terrible thing to an innocent child?" They all laughed as Claymore released a frustrated, "Grrr!"
"Come now Claymore," Martha said popping into the parlor, "it's Christmas, you're not having regrets about the turkey and the tree are you?" Spinning about, and remembering that Martha still had not met the Captain, he struggled to cover his tracks, holding his hands up he jumped toward her. "Oh, GRRRR! Martha, I was just doing my, my tiger impersonation for the children!" Looking over his shoulder, he watched Jonathan dissolve into giggles, and Candi stand just shaking her head in disbelief. "You know the rules," Martha ordered, "No presents until we finish breakfast, come on everyone!"
"Mom!" "Come on, do we have'ta?" Carolyn stood, 'Slugger' grabbing onto her hair, as she tried to untangle the baby's hand, she pointed toward the kitchen, "I'm not going to start Christmas day on an empty stomach – come on!"
"OK then," Candi lead the way, "come on Claymore, you can sit by me," she said with her most winning smile. Watching them head out; Carolyn stood, and walked over to the Captain. "Here," he offered, pulling her hair gently out of the baby's fist. "Another present?" she asked, looking up at him with curious eyes. "A helping hand, and one that is always yours M'dear, anytime I may be of assistance."
She held up a hand, as she saw him move to disappear again, "Please," she said quietly, in what she hoped was her warmest, wheedling tone, "what I truly need is not just a hand, but an open ear, and a private conversation later today, am I able to ask for that too?" He paused, and in the stillness, she recognized that same love struck look on his face that she had last seen in the dream, as he held her there on the porch. 'And I've seen that look before,' she said to herself, 'in fact dozen of times, and I was never able to be sure it meant what I hoped it meant.'
Shaking herself back to the present, she noticed him standing quite close, waiting for her to continue, "Did you have a time, a place in mind? I only ask as the children have been calling for you."
Blushing furiously, she laughed to herself, "I do. Perhaps 4pm, and out on the porch?" She felt her heart speed up, as he whispered, "I look forward to seeing you then. Just the two of us?" She merely nodded, unaware that her eyes told him that the dream's message had been entirely understood. 'Now,' he thought, as she turned to join the family breakfast, 'now, it finally begins today.'
The Ghost of Christmas Past – Part II
Reaching up and feeling the back of her hair, as she stood silently on the front porch, she found herself wishing for the ringlets he had created for her in their dream. Walking slowly, watching a few light flurries of snow begin to swirl in the afternoon wind, she thought again of the courage it must have taken for him to open his heart and share his dearest wishes with them on Christmas eve.
A warm, rather sensuous tingling running through her body told her it must be 4pm, and when she turned, the Captain stood near the steps, waiting for her. "I trust this is still a convenient time for our . . . meeting?" Looking down, moving with careful steps, she worked to collect herself, to behave in a proper fashion. Her true desire was to rush to him and let all the words she'd kept inside spill out, but after so long, she also wanted to let this moment last, to melt around them.
"It feels like it's been quite a long time to get to this moment," she began. "Hardly M'dear, just a few hours since we last talked," he said with a smile. "Come now," she chided, "after being so open and honest with your dream, hardly time to take a backward step, don't you think?" "Indeed," he stood looking at her, knowing that this was no time to retreat, even though the sensible part of himself was trying to make a case for just that very action.
"Captai. . . but I suppose since you called me Carolyn in the dream, I should feel comfortable using your name. . . Daniel?" Totally failing in her desire to be sophisticated and composed, she felt her cheeks blush furiously as his name left her lips. "In truth," he said, enjoying her lack of composure, "I never used your name with you; I believe I only spoke it to Martha, didn't I?"
"Yes, yes of course," she said glad for a second to regroup, "if I recall, it was when you told her you couldn't stay at Gull Cottage until, as you said, "Until Carolyn and I are married. . .do I have that right?" she said with a sparkle in her eyes and obvious tease in her voice. She felt a sudden jolt of pleasure, as she recognized he was quite as unsettled as she was, merely recalling the moment. "From nearly the first day we arrived, I thought, I suspected those feelings existed between us. I can't tell you how pleased I was to know my instincts were right." Even with his head turned away, she could see the corners of his mouth turn up into a gentle smile. When he continued to face away from her, she crouched down a bit, so she could look up into his face, "It was a wonderful gift, I only wish I could have something to give you in return."
"You do M'dear, you do every day you are here in Gull Cottage," he said, raising his head and meeting her eye with a steady gaze. They stood quietly, finding as usual, it was easier to let their eyes communicate their feelings, rather than the words that were yet unspoken. "Blast!" Carolyn murmured aloud. "Blast?" he responded curiously, "have I done something worth blasting here?" "Oh, no, not at all," she said quickly, "it's just I had intended to ask you something first." "By all means Madam", he said grateful to find easier ground for a second, "ask away!"
"Well, it was this," she said, struggling for the right words, "at the end of the dream. After they, or really after we left the porch, what happened next?" Laughing, he reached out and with a ghostly finger tilted her face up toward him, "Next, why of course, they or rather we lived happily every after. Didn't you know?"
"Well. . ." she stretched out the phrase, "well, actually I was looking for something more specific. What happened that day?" "That same day? Let me see? There wasn't time in the dream, but the wedding occurred that very afternoon there in front of the fireplace, and I assure you Martha was most displeased by the timing, but she came around in the end."
"I'm glad," she said shyly, "but later that evening? What then?" He watched her raised eyebrow, and from her sly smile, knew exactly the moment she was envisioning, and straightening his back, he announced in his most proper voice, "Surely Madam, you must know a gentleman may not speak of such things to a lady, even in a dream."
She nodded quietly, and with a tilt of her head she looked up, "Oh, of course. But a husband may of course, and really he should speak of such things to his wife though, don't you agree?"
His eyes opened wider, and a rush of amazement and appreciation for this woman who meant so much to him, filled his expression. "Well then, Carolyn, if it is, as a wife you are asking me, then I am obliged to fulfill your curiosity, aren't I?" "Amongst other things," she grinned.
"You are dearer to me than I may ever find words to say. I would give everything in my power to provide, if I could truly share that memory with you." "And I find it impossible to think of anything I would want more," she said reaching out, and letting her fingers linger near his lips.
They stood looking with intense longing at one another, until Carolyn shivered as a sudden gust brought a flurry of snow swirling around her. "It's much too cold for you," he said with concern. "Alright," she began, and was startled to see him vanish in front of her. Yet before she had time to look around, he had reappeared, with 'Vanessa's' shawl in hand. "Here beloved," he said softly. He could feel her tremble as he slowly draped the heavy shawl around her shoulders, pulling it up around her neck. Unlike the first time he had wrapped her in the same antique garment, he let his hands linger, cherishing the ability to show by touch just some of what he felt for her. Carolyn released a deep sigh, suddenly aware she had been holding her breath, her eyes shining there in the dim twilight filtering through the broken cloud.
Hands grasping her shoulders, he slowly turned her to face him. "This is still a dream you know, as dearly as I wish to be wrong, this is not, cannot ever be real." Expecting an argument from her, he was surprised to see her nod and look back with a deadly serious expression. "It's true. So you think then I should focus on what we cannot have? Truly?" He looked alarmed as she tossed off the shawl and stalked off the porch and stood arms out in the middle of the snowy lawn, the anger rising in her voice, "You honestly expect me to do that, when we finally are able to focus on what we DO have?" Unable to hold back tears she turned away from him, but instantly he was there, the warm shawl and his arms, or the illusion of his arms around her.
Wiping away her tears, she began again, so quietly it was difficult to hear the words, "Do you know, do you have any sense how wonderful it is to find love, to be loved at all? And knowing that, to actually walk away from it?"
Curious, she turned when he made no response, and was startled to see tears brimming in his eyes. "I do, I absolutely know how rare a thing we have, you and I. I wanted, no – I needed you to know." Looking sadly at her, he began to speak when she pressed closer, able to sense him through the shawl's soft fabric. "After today, surely you know there isn't any point- it's done and nothing will change things – change us now. No, this isn't everything I want it to be, but few things in life are exactly as you want them to be. I'm here with you tonight, and for as long as you want me. Not because of what isn't possible, but because of what is."
"Here," he said gently into her ear, as he wrapped the shawl around her head, so she could stand close, surrounded by his arms with her head pressed against his chest. "You feel warm," she giggled, "how is that possible?" "Carolyn Muir," he said with a resigned sigh, "nothing about us should be possible, but as you say, it seems we have no choice but to accept it for what it is." "I'm glad we have that settled," she whispered, "now about the rest of that dream?"
"As you will Madam," he said with a distinct growl to his voice, "I will have you, make you mine in all the ways possible, is that what you desire?" Stepping back, she looked up at him, "For a start," she said in a sultry whisper, "let's start there and see what happens with the next dream, shall we?"
Sweeping the shawl about her, she turned and headed back toward the house. "Rest well Madam," he grinned. "Happy dreams yourself," she offered with a dazzling smile as she went indoors. "Just happy?" he murmured with a glint in his eye, "prepared to be far more than happy, if I have my way – and I will!" and with a roguish grin he disappeared to meet her in their cabin.