I'm baaaaaackkk.
With a new chapter so let's get right to it.
Thanks for all the reviews, btw.
XXXXX
"I'm sorry but did I really just hear that story right?"
Remy gave Christine a funny look. "What's the problem?"
"I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around what you just said. It's very…complicated."
"What's complicated 'bout it? It's a love story 'bout a man who tried to blow off a woman's hand and later took her on vacation to Louisiana after he decided he fancied her."
"You kidnapped her," Logan reminded him grumpily.
"And you lied to her," Scott added.
"There were alligators too."
"And she can't touch."
Remy scoffed. "Details."
"If you think that's bad," Wade added for Christine's ears only. "You should find out who Rogue is currently boinking in the comic universe. I'll give you a hint." He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "It's Magneto."
Christine just blinked at him in confusion. "…huh?"
"Just ignore him," Logan barked. Remy nodded in agreement.
"Sometimes he jus' starts goin' on and on 'bout comics and the fourth wall and Ryan Reynolds. He's a little outta it."
"You should listen to me, LeBeau. I know all sorts of stuff you'd wanna know. Like which actor played you in the movie. And lemme tell ya. You'd be disappointed." Wade looked to Logan. "But you. You'd be happy."
"If you don't shut up Wilson, I swear I will shove a claw through your brain."
Wade giggled. "Last time you did that, it tickled."
Logan sighed.
"Um...can we get back to the subject?" Christine asked timidly.
"What was the subject again?" Scott said.
"Rogue," John answered.
Remy sighed dreamily. "Rogue."
"Right. Rogue." Christine looked back at Remy. "So…you love her?"
"Oui. I would love her even if she was sleepin' wit' Magneto." Remy scoffed haughtily. "Not like that'd happen. I mean, have you seen me?"
Christine took the opportunity to sigh herself. "Yes. I have."
Remy winked at her. She blushed.
Logan growled. Scott looked over the rim of his glass to bestow a chiding look upon his fellow X-Man.
"That…that's yo' problem, LeeBow," Scott slurred, pointing a shaky finger at Remy. "Yo' a flirt an' nothin' but a dirty, dirty flirt."
"At least I'm not a piece of yuppie scum who can't hold his liquor," Remy threw back, smirking slightly.
"I can tootally hold my liquor!" He lifted his half empty glass. "See! I'm holdin' it right now."
Logan sighed but said nothing. John snickered.
"An' stop tryin' to change the subject, LeeBow," Scott continued.
"It's LeBeau," Remy corrected.
"That's what I said. LeeBow."
"LeBeau."
Scott snorted. "Whatever. It's a stupid name anyway." With that said, he threw back the last of his third appletini and returned his attention to his teammate. "Yo' a flirt, LeeBow."
"How 'bout you jus' call me Remy?"
"Yo' a flirt Reemy."
The Cajun sighed.
"The first day you got to the mansion, all you did was flirt."
"You make it sound like it's my fault that I was born so terribly charmin'."
Logan snorted to stifle a laugh. Remy cast a glare his way but the older man ignored him completely. The tiny, self-indulgent smile on his face did not go unnoticed by Remy though.
"You aren't charmin, Reemy."
"How 'bout you jus' call me Cajun?"
"You aren't charmin', Keejun."
Remy sighed. Scott continued.
"You know what you are?"
"What?"
"A man whore!"
John and Christine gasped. Logan smiled a little larger. And even though Wade's eyes were hidden behind his mask, Christine would swear she saw them light up with childlike glee.
"Oh snap," the mercenary exclaimed, clapping his hands together.
Remy slammed a fist on the table, shaking the drinks on the table. "You take that back, Summers!"
"Man whore!" he yelled, louder this time.
Wade bounced in his seat. "Oh snap."
"Loser!"
"Man whore!"
"Shut up!"
"Man whore, man whore, man whore!"
"Oh snap."
"I ain't a man whore!"
Scott pretended to consider Remy's proclamation. "Yo' right. Yo' a slut!"
Wade gasped. "Oh snap!"
This was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back. Remy jumped to his feet and leaned over the table so he was face to face with Scott, his red and black eyes narrowed and glowing. Scott stared back, almost unwavering.
The alcohol was causing him to waver just slightly, though.
"You wanna say that 'gin to my face, Boy Socut?" Remy growled.
Scott leaned in a little closer until his nose brushed Remy's.
"Are you two gonna kiss?" Wade asked.
He was ignored.
Scot maintained eye contact for several long, tense seconds before he opened his mouth to speak.
"Slut."
The silence grew heavier. Longer. The tension could be cut with one of one of Wade's katanas. Everyone waited to see what Remy would do with baited breath. It was an eternity before the Cajun made his move.
Remy lifted his hand.
Christine winced, afraid.
The Cajun then proceeded to take his lifted hand and ever so casually tipped over the last of Scott's appletini, sending it spilling across the table in a lime green puddle.
"OH SNAP!" Wade squealed.
"My appletini!" Scott squeaked. Remy smiled with satisfaction when he saw the other man's eyes grow wide behind his ruby visors. He sat back to enjoy the sight of Scott trying to somehow scoop his spilled drink back into his glass. "You monster! How could you!"
"Monster? I thought I was a slut?"
"Boys," Christine said trying to get their attention.
"I hate you!" Scott cried.
"Aw. My feelin's."
"Uh, boys…."
"You aren't a slut."
"Non?"
"Non," Scott mocked. "You're the devil."
"Boys," she said a little louder, waving her hands in a futile attempt to get their attention.
"Ain't the first time I heard that," Remy drawled, sounding bored.
"Boys!"
"Devil!"
Christine opened her mouth to yell once more, only the sounds of three bullets being shot through the restaurant ceiling interrupted her. The next thing she knew, she was on the floor, under the table, making her peace with god.
Because clearly, she was going to die.
She was going to die in a room with drunk superheroes and an insane mercenary and she wouldn't even have kissed Nick.
That sucked.
"Gentleman!" Wade yelled, firing off another shot. "I believe our darling Christine was trying to get our attention. Now, Christine if you would…hey. Where'd she go?"
The men shuffled about a little bit before Wade poked his head under the table. He waved jovially at her.
"Oh, there you are! Hi, Christine!"
She squeaked.
"What are you doing under there?"
She opened her mouth to speak. The only sound that came out was another, terrified, tiny squeak.
Wade stuck out his hand, an offer. "Get back up here, silly pickle."
She blinked. "Silly pickle?"
He laughed, shaking his hand as an indicator that she should hurry and take it. Deciding it would be better not to reject his offer in case he pulled out another one of his other, scary, pointy knives, she placed her small hand in his and allowed him to gently pull her back to her feet.
"Thank you," she mumbled, dusting herself off.
Wade did a lavish bow.
She looked at Remy and Scott, who were sitting at opposite ends of the table. Not making eye contact. Pouting. She restrained the impulse to roll her eyes at the drunk men. Instead, she careful took a seat and looked back at Remy.
"Now. What's the problem with Rogue?"
He turned to face her but did not stop pouting. "I care 'bout her, right?"
"Right."
"I tell her I care 'bout, right?"
"Right."
"Even though I flirt wit' others," he said, cutting his eyes at Scott, "I make sure she knows that I only got red 'n' black eyes for her, right?"
"Right."
"I think she knows I care, but I don' think she know jus' how much I care 'bout her." His pout morphed into a pathetic little frown. "And Remy don' know how to tell her."
"Awww, Remy…."
"I jus' don' know what to do, Chris."
"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," Scott interrupted. He looked at Christine. "I'm waaaaay worse than Reemy."
"Mon Dieu, please stop sayin' my name…."
"Scott," Christine said patiently, "Remy is still talking. Why don't you wait your turn?"
Scott responded to this by taking his now empty appletini glass and throwing it on the table. It didn't break but it did crack.
"NO!" the X-Man yelled. "He spilled my drink so it's my turn!"
"Okay, okay, okay! Geez." Christine rubbed her temples, the beginning of a migraine creeping into her skull. "Tell me about your love life, Scott."
"Her name is Jean Grey and I love her…."