Who has two thumbs and got stuck in flash flood in high heels for five hours? This chick.

Am I a trooper or what?

But enough about that. On to your always wonderful and appreciated reviews.

BlueFox: I thought I was the only one who hopped on Deviant art. And I think you should be quite pleased with this chapter. Also. I haven't sent you a summary yet. But I will. I'm just so, terribly lazy.

Hope Hannigan: why thank you = )

Zany: glad you caught the Hugh Jackman reference. Your reenactment of the fight was hilarious.

Keep reviewing guys. They not only encourage me but they're so funny and helpful. Thank you for all the support. As my way of saying thanks, I shall give you another hint about Thigh High Boots.

My little, unhelpful hint: say hello to The Avengers….

XXXXX

"Remy don' know what the problem wit' you and Ginger could be—"

"Did ya jus' call my girlfriend a ginger?"

"Non. I called her Ginger. There's a difference."

"Really?"

"Non, not really. But seriously. You and Jeanie got the perfect relationship."

"Aye, man. You're too whipped to be anythin' but happy," John added.

"I am not whipped!"

"Oui, you are."

"Aye, you are."

Scott pouted, looking toward the older X-Man in desperation. "Logan?"

"You're whipped, Boy Scout."

Christine could have sworn she saw Scott's lip quiver and eyes begin to water but the X-Man managed to compose himself before she could be absolutely sure.

"Don' make that face, Scotter. You and Ginger got it good."

"In this universe," Wade said idly, admiring his katana with boredom. "But in the main one, you two are screwed."

Everyone stared at the mercenary for a pregnant moment.

"Is this another one of those 'we're all comic book character' things?" Christine said.

"Yes."

"Are you going to elaborate?"

"Yes."

"Even if I ask you not to?"

"Yes."

Christine sighed. "Go ahead then."

"Oh, yay! Story time!" Wade giggled and clapped his hands. "Well, if things turn out like they do in the comics, Jean will die."

Scott gasped, pressing a hand to his heart.

"Don't worry. She'll be fine. She comes back. Always does."

Scott relaxed. "…that's good then."

"Not really. You're gonna cheat on her."

Scott gasped.

"With a hot blonde."

His jaw dropped.

"With huge implants," Wade went on, gesturing at his chest.

Remy and John smiled.

"Then Jean dies again."

Another gasp.

"And you make out on her grave with the hot blonde." Wade smiled smugly. "The end."

John threw his head back and laughed. He slung an arm around Scott's shoulder, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "Way to go, Boy Scout. Didn' know ya had it in ya."

"Very classy," Remy added with heavy sarcasm.

Scott shook his head earnestly, looking overly distressed. "I would never do that."

"Oui, you would."

"Aye, mate. You totally would."

"Christine, you don't think I would do that, do you?"

She lifted her hands defensively, shaking her head. "Hey. Whoa. I don't know you like that. I don't know you well enough to make that judgment."

"Logan?" Scott turned to him once more, chin quivering. Logan simply lifted an eyebrow, giving the younger man a look that spoke volumes. "Um. Nevermind."

Logan just nodded approvingly at the decision.

"Man," Scott whined, his shoulder slumping as he stared sullenly into his empty appletini glass, "this sucks."

Christine placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, rubbing him soothingly. "It's okay, Scott. What Wade said occurred in an alternate reality. Not this one. That means it doesn't have to happen so you shouldn't have to worry about it too much." She smiled softly. "Besides. This is Wade we're talking about."

"Hey! Are you trying to say I'm a mentally unstable, unreliable source?" he asked indignantly.

Christine nodded without hesitation. "Yes. Yes I am."

Wade shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Can we get back to the point?"

"What was the point again?"

"Boy Scout an' how he's gonna cheat on his lady."

"I'm not going to cheat on Jean!"

"Not yet."

"Shut up!"

"No!" Christine yelled. "No more fights. No more spilled appletinis. No more interruptions." She whipped around to point a finger at Wade, who had opened his mouth behind his mask. How she knew that he was about to speak, no one was quite sure. "Yes. Even you, Wade."

He tilted his head to side thoughtfully "Did you just tell me what to do?"

Christine seemed to realize this, her angry demeanor disappearing instantly. She bit her lip. "Um…yes?"

Wade nodded. "Sassy. I like it." He waved a hand at her. "Proceed."

"Um…" She looked back at Scott. "Proceed."

"Well…Jean and I have known each other for a long time."

"Uh huh."

"And Jean is my best friend."

"Uh huh."

"And we finally got together awhile ago."

"After years of sexual tension," Logan added, speaking up for one of the few times in the strange encounter.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Yeah, bub."

"Aye."

"Oui."

"How would you know, Gambit?" Scott demanded, gesturing wildly. "You weren't even apart of the team when me and Jean were still friends."

"So?"

How was anyone supposed to argue with the flawless logic of Remy LeBeau?

"You were saying, Scott?" Christine urged.

"Me an' Jean finally got together and since then everything been perfect."

"Even when Ginger became a horseman for Apocalypse?" Remy asked.

Scott made an exasperated noise. "You weren't there for that either!"

"So?"

"Remy, please. No more interruptions."

"Desole, chere."

"Besides," Wade interjected, "you are the last person who should be talkin' 'bout being a horseman for Apocalypse, LeBeau."

"This 'nother one of those comic book things, Wadey?"

"Yup."

"Boys, Scott was still talking."

"Desole."

"Sorry, Chris."

"You were saying, Scott?"

"Well, ever since me an' Jean got together things have been perfect."

"I'm not really seeing a problem then," the red head exclaimed.

"The problem is things are perfect and…." Scott blushed. "And I can't tell her that."

Christine blinked at him in a confused daze. "Huh?"

"I can't tell her that."

"That you have fun with her?"

"It's a little more than that…."

"You like her?"

"Getting warmer…."

"Oh." Christine pressed a delicate hand over her heart. "Oh, Scott. You love her and you can't tell her that. How sweet."

Wade, Remy, and John apparently did not share this sentiment. Or, at least, Christine assumed they did. For all three men threw their heads back and laughed as if they had just heard the joke of a lifetime. And when the laughter had yet to cease after two minutes, the waitress actually began to feel sympathy for the poor X-Man. She cast a glare at the other three men.

"Stop being so insensitive, you guys."

Remy was the one who managed to compose himself first. "Desole, chere. It's jus' hard to feel sympathy for a fella who got himself a wonderful girl who don' threaten his existence on a daily basis."

"Or who doesn't light his hair on fire."

"Or who…wait." Wade scratched his head. "Do I have girl?"

"Non."

"Aww…."

"Boys."

"Sorry, Chrissy." John flicked his lighter with agitation. "It's just hard to feel bad for a fella who has the world and beautiful gal at his feet. If I was with Wanda, I'd tell her the second I had the chance to."

"If I didn' think Rogue would knock me into next week, I'd tell her too."

"You could be a little more sensitive about Scott's situation, guys. He deserves your sympathy."

Logan slammed his glass onto the table. Hard. He did not turn to face the others. He just remained where he was, staring stonily ahead.

"No," he grumbled, his voice cold and unforgiving. "He doesn't."

Then he lifted his glass to his lip and continued to drink.

Everyone stared. He ignored them.

They stared some more.

Logan rolled his eyes, his lips curling up in annoyance.

"You are not," he barked, "gettin' me to open up and participate in this stupid, romantic story hour."

Christine then took it upon herself to dip her head so that she might peek up at the gruff man through her long lashes, her sapphire eyes compelling. Logan remained unflinching, undeterred by her pleading eyes.

But then she poked out her lush bottom lip and he was through.

He sighed in defeat. "It ain't much of a love life to speak of…."