Author's Note: This little story is my take (with helpful input and lots of great one-liners from Tess—who has a fantastic imagination) on what Dorothy might have said to Michaela during the talk the show's writers teasingly hinted at, but never allowed us to view. Thanks Tina for raising the question on the forum regarding if such a fic had been written!
FALLIN' OFF A LOG
By Linda Ellen
February 2012
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (but those people aren't using them anyway!)
"Dorothy..." Michaela murmured softly, gazing at her friend in shy hesitation as people ran to and fro around the main street, everyone excited and looking forward to the celebration of the train coming to town for the first time.
Dorothy was smiling brightly, having just gleefully agreed to be Michaela's Matron of Honor at her upcoming wedding. Now, as the audacious editor looked into her friend's eyes, she nearly blanched at the forlorn expression in their two-tone depths.
"What is it?" the older woman asked gently.
Michaela glanced down shyly for a moment, before raising her eyes again and admitting, "I...could use some advice...from someone who's had...experience," she added, gazing pointedly into her friend's eyes and hoping she would understand without elaboration.
Dorothy smiled wisely, remembering a conversation months before when Michaela had painfully admitted that she had never...been with a man.
"Aw...well... don't you worry, it's as easy as fallin' off a log," she answered gently, smiling at her own quip.
Michaela nodded and gave a little shrug. "Remember... I've never...fallen off a log," she responded with a self-conscious grin.
Dorothy giggled delightedly and turned toward the depot, taking Michaela with her and slipping a hand in the crook of her friend's elbow as other people began to make their way to the festivities.
Cheerful music floating their way from the bandstand served as camouflage for their 'private' conversation.
"Well...I'll tell you everythin' I know...for whateva' it's worth."
Michaela smiled up at her somewhat taller friend as they strolled along, waiting with baited breath for the grand revelations she was sure were about to pour forth from the newspaperwoman's mouth.
"Just relax and let him do all the work," was her sage advice.
Michaela instantly replied, "Dorothy, I'm a doctor. I already know what happens... I'd just like to understand more about what...happens."
Dorothy nodded thoughtfully, though she couldn't resist teasing, "Well, whatta your textbooks say?"
In slight aggravation at the woefully vague tomes, Michaela leaned closer and quietly exclaimed, "Everything is detailed about men, probably because they are written by men, but there is so little about women... and I have nothing to go on other than what my mother said. She just referred to it as the wifely duty."
Dorothy nodded. "My mother hardly said anythin' either. Basically to just lay still and it'll be over quick."
Michaela glanced around, making sure no one was near enough to overhear. Then peering at her friend's face, she asked softly, "Is it really like that?"
Dorothy smiled understandingly, knowing how Michaela hated not being 'in the know' about a subject.
"At first it seemed like that, but then things...changed," she offered mysteriously.
This got Michaela's attention. "Changed? How so?" she asked eagerly.
They paused as several children ran by brandishing American flags, nearly bumping into the two women. "Well...it was just...betta for me..." she hedged, suddenly feeling a little awkward trying to put such a subject into words.
"Better...?" Michaela probed, scrambling to understand the mysteries of this act called, 'making love'.
"Yes...betta...you know..." Dorothy began, pausing as she tried to come up with a delicate way to describe what it was like to be caught up with a man in the throes of passion...to adequately, yet modestly, explain that feeling of ecstasy, so all-consuming and overpowering, your toes curl and your back arches up to meet...but I can't say that...how in the world can I word such a thing... Dorothy mused, fanning herself as a sudden hot flash warmed her face and neck.
"No, I don't kn..." Michaela began, pausing as a voice yelled, "Dr. Mike! Dr. Mike!"
Looking toward the depot platform, she saw the Reverend waving to get her attention.
"Oh...I have to go...but..."
Dorothy nodded with a grin. "We'll continue our talk a little later."
Grinning in return, Michaela murmured, "Excellent. I shall look forward to...learning everything you know," she added with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
The two ladies laughed as they went their separate ways, confident that they would continue their conversation as soon as the ceremony ended.
However...with the arrival of Michaela's mother and sisters, and the events that transpired throughout the week, the promised discourse was pushed to the wayside.
OOOOOOOO
The days passed amidst a flurry of activity, and finally it was the day of Michaela's wedding...a day she had once thought would never come.
Now, she was about to marry the most wonderful man in the world...the sweetest, kindest, most ruggedly handsome man that ever drew breath. A man who had already proven he would do anything for her...followed her all the way to Boston to tell her he loved her...risked death and injury many times to save her from harm...worked night and day for a year to craft the most beautiful home in Colorado Springs just to please her...
Weaving the needle in and out of the piece of cloth she was working on, Michaela sighed softly as she thought of him...Sully. Those blue eyes, sparkling with love, watching her every move. The special grin he reserved only for her...the way he leaned in to whisper a private thought in her ear or press a sweet kiss to her temple in the midst of a crowd. The way he would gently grasp her hand and linger over it, pressing his lips to it reverently. The way it felt when he held her in his strong, muscular arms...the heavenly way his lips felt against hers when he kissed her...so warm, so...sensuous.
Quickly, the pleasant thoughts of love and affection gave way to the familiar nervousness. The nagging fear she had always shoved into the recesses of her mind once again reared its head, and this time would not be hushed.
With each stitch, Michaela felt as if the clock on the wall were ticking louder and louder, taking her ever faster toward that inevitable moment when she and Sully would become man and wife...in every way, and with nothing to hold them back...no propriety she could hide behind. She swallowed nervously as the elusive picture of she and Sully entwined in a lover's embrace, skin to skin with no material barriers whatsoever between them, once again swam into her mind.
She glanced over at her best friend as her sisters and friends worked frantically to combine two completely different wedding dresses into one creation.
Dorothy looked up from the piece of lace she was stitching and caught Michaela's eye. Something in the bride-to-be's two-tone gaze immediately clued the older woman in to the fact that Michaela was allowing herself to fret.
Well...it's now or neva if we're gonna have that talk about 'fallin' off a log'... the lady editor mused.
Holding Michaela's gaze, she cleared her throat and placed her sewing to the side.
"Michaela? I just remembered somethin' I...need your help with," she stated, reaching out and grasping hold of Michaela's hand, barely giving the startled doctor time to lay her sewing down as she pulled her to her feet.
"We'll be right back," Dorothy assured the others in the room, who looked up stunned as she ushered the nervous bride out the door, down the hall, and into the furthest recovery room from where the others were working.
"Dorothy...what..." Michaela sputtered as her friend bustled her inside and firmly closed the door.
Taking hold of her hand once again, Dorothy led the bride-to-be, clad in just her exquisite under things, over to the bed and encouraged her to sit, settling herself comfortably facing her.
"What are you doing, Dorothy?" Michaela queried curiously.
Dorothy met her friend's eyes and smiled understandingly. "You're frettin' about tonight, ain't ya," she stated, eyebrows elevated as she waited for a response.
Michaela clamped her lips closed and lowered her head a bit.
"Am I that obvious?" she murmured softly, feeling a flush beginning to infuse her cheeks.
"Only to your best friend," the other woman stated caringly, her eyes running over the top of Michaela's perfectly coiffed head. "Still worried about fallin' off that log?" she asked quietly.
Michaela's head lifted and she met her friend's caring eyes, allowing a halting nod of admission.
"I just...I keep thinking I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. That there is...something...I'll need to do or know and I simply won't – and I'll end up embarrassing myself and..." she paused, admitting with a quiet shrug, "...disappointing him." Catching her lip between her teeth, she rolled her eyes with a sigh, allowing her head to drop back in self-conscious confusion.
Dorothy smiled reassuringly and reached to pat Michaela's hands, which had twisted nervously together in her lap.
"Michaela...listen to me. Stop worryin'. That man you're about to join with loves you more than any man ever loved a woman. You know that, don't you?"
Michaela averted her eyes for a moment and shrugged delicately, giving a small nod. Knowing he loved her somehow wasn't helping her nervousness.
Her feelings for him ran just as deep...she knew she would walk through fire for him...lie to anyone, including the army, if it meant saving his life...she had risked prison to save him from a fate worse than death...but at that moment, she would rather participate in another jail break than do something to cause a look of disappointment to cloud those blue eyes she adored. The expression of hurt and disenchantment on his face after their 'talk' the night he left to find Cloud Dancing still burned in her memory.
As Dorothy watched Michaela needlessly tormenting herself, she wondered what exactly she could tell her friend that would help ease her mind.
"He knows you've never..." Dorothy stated by way of question.
Michaela nodded. "Yes...and he promised we would...'take it ever so easy'," she admitted with a tiny smile, remembering that day in the church at the end of their tumultuous 'pre-marital counseling.'
Dorothy drew in a breath, knowing time was of the essence. Clasping Michaela's entwined fingers firmly, she murmured softly, "Well, good. Now, here is what you do. When you and Sully are alone in that hotel room – you follow his lead. Just relax and enjoy bein' with him – for the first time without any restraints."
By this time, Michaela had locked eyes with her friend, drinking in every word. She moistened her lips as she waited for Dorothy to continue. When she hesitated, however, Michaela prompted just above a whisper, "Dorothy...what is it really like? How does it...feel?"
Dorothy gazed at her accomplished, beautiful friend, nearly chuckling at the eager, almost girlish expression on Michaela's face. She knew Michaela was like a dog with a bone and wouldn't let her get away with vague generalities. The seasoned newspaperwoman put a hand to her mouth for a moment, trying to decide just how detailed to get.
"Well...it feels...wonderful...heavenly. It's hard to describe just how good it feels ta...join with the man you love," she began, tilting her head to one side in thought. "When he joins his body to yours, you'll feel...pleasantly fulfilled, and...complete..."
Michaela stared at her friend, nodding as she leaned forward in earnest curiosity.
"You'll feel as if...you've been missin' somethin' all your life, but just didn't know it. He'll become...part of you. And oh, Michaela...that's a mighty powerful feelin'. He'll make ya his woman, and he'll become your man...and from that moment on...you'll neva again feel...whole...when you're apart from him."
Dorothy smiled softly as she gazed at her friend's enchanted expression. "All this time you've loved him...and he's loved you...but once you cross that line and become lovers...everythin' changes...deepens...magnifies..." Dorothy murmured mysteriously.
Michaela's eyes drifted away for a moment, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as she tried to process all that her friend had divulged. Drawing in a breath, she released it in a frustrated huff, her eyes seeking out her confidant's once more.
"I wish I could imagine it...to picture how...I mean I know the act involves, well...friction..." she paused, blushing furiously. "But...I don't know what it's like, or...how long it takes...or...anything..." the lady doctor whispered, staring guilelessly at her friend.
Dorothy blinked several times, trying to digest just how 'innocent' her best friend actually was when it came to marital activities. She can accurately diagnose illness and disease...perform brain surgery...hold her own in any conversation – with anyone...yet she's so innocent in the ways of love... Dorothy mused, her lips forming a tiny smile. It disappeared, however, as she brought her mind back to the task at hand...how to describe lovemaking to someone who had no clue...
Swallowing and clearing her throat, she decided to pull out all the stops, and go for broke. If her friend needed detail...then detail she would get!
"Well...as to how long it takes...that's up to the man and his...stamina. Could be five minutes...could be thirty," she added with a grin, silently quipping that Sully's 'stamina' probably equaled that of a racehorse. "And what it's like...it's kinda like ridin' horses... that consistent, steady motion...?" she paused as Michaela's eyes grew larger. "Or churnin' butter... that smooth in and out rhythm... soothin'... and yet at the same time passionately exhilaratin' - keeps your heart 'a pumpin'..." she added with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
"Dorothy!" Michaela squeaked, a hand flying to cover her mouth as she glanced quickly at the closed door, knowing she'd never be able to ride Flash or churn butter again without thinking of this conversation.
"It's true, only he'll be the one doin' the ridin'," Dorothy returned, her eyes twinkling. "Or churnin'...at least until you get...a little seasoned..."
"A little what?" Michaela gasped, feeling much like they were two schoolgirls sharing secrets. She grinned in spite of her nervousness and immediately clamped her lip between her teeth.
"Oh...sometimes Marcus liked it when I...well, he'd grab my hips and roll over, takin' me right with him...and I'd end up sittin' on top...like gallopin' on a stallion," she added with a giggle, one hand covering her mouth, feeling her own face begin to turn pink.
Michaela's mouth had dropped open, totally speechless, wild imaginings racing through her mind of her and Sully...the wedding bed...firelight reflecting on tanned and creamy... undulating skin...
Suddenly a memory surfaced. Not long after she had settled in Colorado Springs, she had gone into the back area of the saloon to treat one of the girls, and a drunken 'customer' had exaggeratedly stepped back to allow her to pass, in the process clumsily bumping into one of the doors in the hall, which flew open. Inside, a customer and one of Hank's 'girls' were barely clothed, and she was straddling his midsection as he lay prone on the bed. At the time, Michaela hadn't given the incident a second thought, other than disgust, but now...that's what the girl was doing? Riding the man, the way one would ride a...stallion?
Meanwhile, warming to the subject and beginning to remember the good times with her husband during their first year of marriage, Dorothy added dreamily, "Um...it worked out quite well for both of us."
Michaela closed her mouth and swallowed, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "What do you mean...worked out..."
Dorothy shook herself from her musings and met her friend's confused eyes again. How in the world can I explain what ...THAT...feels like? I don't even know what to call it...
"Um...you know...what happens...the finish...the...pay off..." she stammered, watching the wheels turning frantically in Michaela's mind.
"You mean...procreation?" Michaela murmured, knowing that was what the man worked toward...but the woman...?
Dorothy nodded, scrambling for words. "It's like...a teapot comin' to a boil...an explosion of...marvelous...breathtakin' feelin's..." she paused again, able to tell by Michaela's expression that the doctor had no idea what she meant – nothing remotely close in her life experiences with which to compare, especially since she had thought all her life that the woman simply laid there and waited for the man to 'finish'.
"Ah, Michaela...I guess there's just some things ya gotta learn by doin'..." Dorothy sympathetically concluded, her shoulders lifting in an apologetic shrug.
"But..." Michaela whispered, still somewhat in the dark.
Dorothy patted her hand again and drew herself up to her full height.
"You just...allow yourself to let go...to get...caught up in his kisses," Dorothy tried. "Forget everythin' but the feel of his mouth and hands and..." she instructed, pausing as she watched Michaela's expression, a thought occurring.
"Has Sully ever...used his tongue when he's kissin' you?" she asked softly.
Michaela instantly reddened as she self-consciously nodded. "Yes...well...once or twice..." she responded. In the sweat lodge when he proposed to me...on the floor of the homestead when I panicked and nearly pushed him away...
Dorothy nodded with a knowing grin. "Well, he's gonna be doin' that a lot from now on...and you're gonna love it," she added with a twinkle in her eyes as she pictured the handsome, virile mountain man her friend was mere hours away from marrying. "In fact...I predict that soon after ya honeymoon, you'll be so besotted with his kisses and his lovin'...you'll daydream about makin' love," she declared with certainty.
Michaela chuckled a bit at that, recalling the feelings Sully had stirred within her during the few times of passion they had shared...and how she had leaned into him, yearning for more...how she had even wanted him to kiss her deeply on several occasions, but he had held back.
"So...relax and enjoy as he kisses ya and caresses your body. If you want to...you can do a little caressin' yourself. Men enjoy that as much as we do," she confided with a grin. "They love ta touch and feel...and squeeze...and taste...certain parts they seem ta find...fascinatin'," she confided mischievously.
Michaela nearly blanched at that, instantly picturing Sully's hands...and lips...unhindered on her body...and hers touching his...
"But he's not gonna expect ya to do anythin', Michaela. Don't worry about what I told ya a minute ago," Dorothy reassured her friend, pausing a moment thoughtfully.
"Sully's a man who thinks things through. I'll just bet he's put a lot of thought inta how he's gonna handle your first time. Trust 'im. He keeps his promises, he'll be gentle and...easy with ya. Remember, that man loves ya and he's not gonna hurt ya. But, the more relaxed and...ready ya are, the betta," she added with a sparkle.
Michaela pressed her lips together and nodded once; thankful she knew what her confidant meant by being 'ready'.
Swallowing nervously, she searched her friend's eyes, one unknown still nagging.
Dorothy's eyebrows rose in question, encouraging Michaela to ask anything that still may be hindering her from experiencing joyous anticipation of her wedding night.
"Dorothy? The first time...how much will it...um...hurt?" Michaela asked, just above a whisper, fighting the shame and embarrassment of reaching the ripe old age of 37 and still being so naïve about the subject of copulation.
Dorothy pursed her lips, wanting to be both honest and reassuring at once. "Well, it kinda depends on how big his... um..." she stammered to a stop, embarrassed. Clearing her throat, she continued quickly, "As I recall...it felt like a pinch, or a, a...twinge...but it was over quick," she hastened to reassure.
Michaela nodded, missing the meaning of the first half of Dorothy's statement, much of the tension dissipating as her instructor's reassuring words did the trick.
"Rememba - the key is...the more relaxed ya are...the more ready ya are...the less it'll hurt. And...there are things he can do to help get ya ready," Dorothy added, her eyes twinkling again.
At Michaela's shocked expression, her mentor added sagely, "Michaela – what you and Sully do togetha', in private, is nobody's business but your own – and nothin' to be ashamed of eitha'," she added, nodding and giving her friend an encouraging smile.
"I guess I'm worried about...him seeing me...like that," the nervous bride admitted softly, crossing her arms over her stomach. "What if he..." she paused, old insecurities rising again as she imagined Sully disappointed in some aspect of her figure.
Dorothy's mouth dropped open at this admission – to think that a woman as lovely as Michaela would be even remotely insecure about her looks! "Michaela!" she exclaimed, "You're a beautiful woman, and that man can't take his eyes off ya – he neva could!" she added as Michaela turned her head away bashfully.
"You got no reason to be shy with him. Just relax and enjoy what God created for married couples to enjoy doin' togetha'," Dorothy concluded, reaching for one of Michaela's hands and giving it a final pat.
Seeing the veracity in her friend's eyes as the older woman nodded encouragingly, Michaela straightened up with a nod, and drew in a relieved breath as the final bits of apprehension mercifully fell away.
Armed with her new knowledge and feeling more at ease than she had in months, Michaela leaned forward with a pleased smile and wrapped her arms around her friend, grateful for their frank 'talk'.
As the two made their way back to the room at the end of the hall to help finish what would be a stunning wedding dress, Michaela couldn't keep the mischievous smile from her face as Dorothy's advice and instructions played through her mind.
Later, when the family and friends Michaela cherished presented her with the borrowed and blue 'gifts', it was evident to them all the marked difference in her state of mind, but of course they had no clue regarding the private instruction she had received.
OOOOOOOOO
The rest of that perfect day, Michaela remained at ease. She laughed, teased, and even flirted with her new husband, no longer frightened of the looming 'unknown'.
Sully couldn't help but notice the difference in the effervescent woman who had owned his heart from the first moment they met.
Sitting together at their wedding reception, he couldn't seem to take his eyes...or his hands...from his beautiful bride. Something seemed different about her – not only did she look even lovelier than she ever had before...there was a confidence in her posture and a come hither look in her eyes each time their gazes met. He couldn't know the real reason, but he thought perhaps it might have been just the fact that they were finally legally married - but whatever it was, it made waiting through the customs and traditions of the reception almost like torture. He wondered how he would be able to survive the four-hour train ride to the hotel in Denver.
Needless to say, they were both thrilled with Brian's surprise when they saw the caboose had been transformed into a bedroom.
When Sully finally closed the door of their honeymoon train behind them, Michaela remembered all of Dorothy's instructions, and was able to relax and enjoy her new husband's attentions.
Dorothy's prediction was right on the money, too – even more than she envisioned, for Michaela most assuredly became 'besotted' with Sully's lovemaking...to the point that the morning after they returned from their honeymoon, he snuck out of their bedroom after a full night of loving to go and find Cloud Dancing, knowing if he had awakened his bride, she would never have allowed him out of the bed! Even when she dressed quickly and found him outside, he held back from giving his passionate, insatiable wife a kiss goodbye, so that he wouldn't 'light her fire.' (Hey – even virile men like Sully need a rest once in awhile. LOL)
And for the rest of her life, she would never be able to hear the word 'darker', or the term 'falling off a log' without a twinkle and a smile – always prompting those around her to wonder what was running through the prim lady doctor's mind.
~~The End~~