Phased 2nd visit
Vala'd told Sam that it'd been a shock to realize that being heartbroken could be so liberating. She had no more anxiety, no more fear about how Daniel would push her away the next time they got close, no more trembling at the thought of her heart being broken. She simply had to stay out of Daniel's way until they returned from their mission. Once back at SGC she'd head out through the Gate for the start of her next adventure. Landry had agreed that she could leave later in the evening after Daniel had signed out. Sam would stay to wish her farewell. Vala planned to reveal her plans to Mitchell and Teal'c the morning before they left for P7X-238. She wasn't going to mention Daniel as the reason she was leaving, hoping they would pretend that everyone didn't know the truth. She also hoped they'd want to stay late that night along with Sam and say goodbye.
It wasn't hard to stay out of Daniel's office. Vala spent most of the day in her room deciding what to pack. Sam had offered to store what she didn't take with her. She knew it made Sam feel as if she'd definitely return to SGC. Not going to the Commissary was much more difficult. Daniel had no set schedule. Some days he'd eat three meals in the normal order at normal times. Other days he'd seem to forget to eat at all. On those days she always tried to make sure he ate at least once. She'd drag him out of his office complaining that she was starving and that he needed to keep her company.
Vala hadn't slept the night before and around 4:00 am she'd gone to the commissary and piled a tray full of her favorite foods to take back to her room for breakfast, lunch and snacks. Sam had promised to bring pizza to Vala's room for dinner. The next morning, before they left she'd eat breakfast with the whole team. And try not to think about it being the last time.
Daniel was anxious and he knew why. Vala wasn't around. At first he was happy. When Vala wasn't around he could pretend he didn't have a problem. That he wasn't in love with her and terrified by it. Daniel was convinced that if she knew she'd simply laugh and move on to her next conquest. The longer she was gone the more he realized that he couldn't bear to not have her in his sight and the cycle would start over. He had to have her near him but then he had to drive her away. Daniel couldn't breathe if she wasn't near him. Then he couldn't breathe if she stayed close. It was getting harder to convince himself he was sane. He'd been crazy before and he could feel himself slipping away.
SG-1 again walked through the Gate onto P7X-238. Daniel headed towards the ruins. Mitchell just pointed to Vala and gestured towards Daniel's back. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. He'd told her that morning he was going to make her work with Daniel the whole time they were there. Mitchell explained he'd heard Jackson was 'so cute' when he was playing Indiana Jones that she wouldn't be able to resist him. He was convinced with just a little more time the idiot would come to his senses and step up. Sam and Teal'c had both smiled expressing their hope for such an outcome. This morning Vala had told them of her plans to leave Earth and the guys were not happy. They were as unhappy as Sam but more angry. Vala had tearfully made them promise not to harm Daniel saying it wasn't fair to blame him for not feeling the same way as she did. Mitchell didn't respond to her argument but agreed it wouldn't help to actually kill the man she loved. Teal'c's eyes flashed but he spat out an agreeing "Indeed" to the whole not killing or maiming Daniel part.
Leaving their two friends behind Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell headed into the village. They carried a written proposal to present to the elders. The details had been worked out by SG-6 while SG-13 had explored the planet. They'd found no other settlements nor more Naquadah deposits.
Just as she had on her first visit Vala walked the perimeter a few times and then sat on the same rock. She hadn't realized how painful it would be to be on a mission with Daniel, knowing it was for the last time. Mitchell was right about the appeal of Indiana Jackson. Suddenly she pulled her pack off her back and dug through it looking for a piece of paper and a pen. Vala wrote a quick note to Mitchell telling him she was going back through the Gate. That she had more packing to do and was sure that Daniel would be safe left alone with his ruins. Folding the paper in half she wrote his name on the outside. Vala repacked her bag and slung it over her shoulder.
She stood outside of the ruins looking at Daniel. She could see him sitting in the dirt writing in his notebook. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear his voice one more time or just leave the note and slip away. Before she could decide he looked up and saw her.
"Is everything okay Vala? You look nervous. Sort of frightened. Did something happen?"
The look of concern on his face was genuine and it hurt. Vala told Sam that she didn't believe Daniel even liked her. It was a lie. When he looked her in the eyes at moments like this she knew that he loved her. But whatever held him back was too strong. Even now she felt him regret his reaction.
"Nothing Daniel. I decided that my being here is a waste of time. You don't need to be watched over. You're a capable adult and the natives are friendly. I'm going back to the Gate. Please give this note to Mitchell for me. I couldn't raise him on the radio." She handed Daniel the paper and touched his hand keeping her skin in contact with his just a moment too long. He gave her a puzzled looked but made no comment. Daniel had turned and was headed back to where he'd left his notebook when Vala called his name.
"Daniel, would you please give Sam a message from me?"
He nodded in agreement.
"Tell her that I went back and I'll just keep on going."
"Okay. Anything else?"
"No. I'm good." Vala turned to leave and over her shoulder she said "Take care Daniel."
Vala kept on walking. She didn't want to take a chance on him asking her a question or calling her back. Her tears had started and once out of his sight she ran towards the Gate. Vala wasn't sure Sam would understand what she meant by "keep on going." She wanted to let Sam know that she hadn't changed her mind about leaving. Vala decided not to worry about it. She'd see Sam tonight for pizza and talk. She stopped to catch her breath and wipe her face with her hands and heard a noise behind her. Vala turned and there was Lauren. She bent over so that she was at eye level with the small boy.
He smiled at her and then noticed her face. "You've been crying. I'm sorry." He came closer and standing on tippy toes put his two little hands on either side of her face. "Please don't cry. I'm here. I can make you feel better."
Vala smiled. "You just did Darling."
Taking her hand the small boy pulled her along with him. "Come back with me. All of the other children want to meet you. I told them how you played with me. Some of the older ones didn't believe me. But all of them wanted to believe. To believe that a grownup could care."
In spite of what she'd written in her note Vala had no packing left to finish. She was as ready as she'd ever be to leave. There was no reason she couldn't spend some time with her new friend. Maybe she could discover what he meant when he said he wasn't from the village since SG-13 reported that they hadn't found any other settlements.
"That sounds like fun. I'd love to meet your friends. Let's go." She let him pull her along towards a pile of rocks. He let go of her hand and started to clear away an entrance. It was an underground passage, a tunnel that went under a small hill. Lauren slipped through easily while Vala had to wiggle the last few feet.
In minutes they were both standing in a meadow. Lauren was covering up the opening with rocks and branches. He looked up at her. "The older kids don't think I should go on the other side of the Wall. They think I'm crazy and that I'll get hurt. But I don't care. I don't really like it here."
Vala looked back towards the ruins. She could barely see the crumbling walls. They seemed further away and there was a sort of shimmer around the building. Vala remembered Sam's description of the Wall. Maybe the two sides of this Wall were somewhat, just not completely, out of phase with each other. She decided to discuss it with Sam when she went back. "Lauren, where exactly is here?"
The boy laughed and skipped off across the meadow. Vala laughed in return and followed him towards a small grove of trees.
The meeting with the Elders had been a success. SG-1 was returning with a signed treaty and mining agreement. Daniel and Mitchell stood by the Gate as Sam dialed home. Mitchell was reading Vala's note. He looked puzzled and then, once he finished reading, upset.
Daniel wasn't watching and didn't notice his reactions. He turned to Sam having just remembered Vala's message.
"Sam. Vala left a message for you."
"She left another note?"
"No. She asked me to tell you that …" obviously trying to recall Vala's exact words he smiled and said "Tell her that I went back and I'll just keep on going."
"Are you sure Daniel? That's exactly what she said?"
"Word for word. Why? Is there something wrong?"
Sam exchanged glances with Teal'c and Mitchell. She asked Mitchell what Vala's note had said.
"That she had some packing to finish up and she was sure Daniel would be safe without her."
Mitchell sounded angry and Daniel assumed it was because Vala had left him alone. "She's right. I was fine. There was no reason for her to stay around."
"That's sort of the problem isn't it Jackson? Let's go guys. I'd like to catch up with her."
SG-1, minus Vala, left the Infirmary after their routine medical exams. Daniel headed to his office. Once he was out of sight Mitchell asked. "Do you think she left as soon as she got back? I really wanted a chance to say goodbye and another chance to talk her out of it."
"Indeed."
"I think we should look for her. I can't believe the Princess'd just leave like that. She's the one that asked us to stay and say goodbye. Do you have a key to her room Sam?"
The three friends stood in the doorway. The room was empty except for three large boxes taped shut, labeled with Sam's name and the word storage written in black magic marker. They had no way of knowing that Vala's leather traveling bag, with her leather coat, had been stuck in the corner of the Briefing Room. Vala had planned on saying a quick good bye to the Control Room and Gate Room staff on her way off Earth.
Sam was insistent. "It'll be okay. She's going to come back. Landry gave her a month but told her she could return anytime and he'd give her any job she wanted. I pushed for Area 51. I think we'll see more of her if she isn't stationed off-world at the Alpha Site."
"What about coming back to 'The Band'?"
"She didn't say no. Actually she said maybe."
Mitchell and Sam exchanged hopeful smiles.
"Then perhaps we shall hear from ValaMalDuran soon."
Daniel hadn't expected to see Vala the day they got back. Maybe not even the next. But it'd been two days. The day before the mission Vala had been purposely staying out of his way. During the mission she'd been quiet but she wasn't sulking. She'd seemed a little upset when she left early but she'd smiled when she gave him her messages to pass along. Usually she didn't stay angry for much more than a day. He'd offer a sincere apology which she'd accept. Daniel had gotten used to the rhythm of their game. Though he feared this time she'd stay angry for much longer. Their last run in had been the worst in months. Sam had been very angry and upset with him. He knew he'd disappointed Sam and not for the first time. Vala must have been doubly hurt that Sam not only knew exactly what had happened but actually witnessed his latest disaster.
Daniel thought about confiding in Sam but he thought once he spoke out loud about Vala he couldn't pretend any longer. Pretend that he didn't love Vala. Pretend that he wasn't pushing her away trying to test her love. In spite of how he acted Daniel wasn't really an idiot. He knew that Vala loved him. He just didn't believe that she'd stay with him. He didn't believe that he deserved her love and she certainly didn't deserve the tragedy that seemed to follow the people he loved. He also knew that there was just so much abuse she would take before she was gone, leaving him as miserable as he deserved.
It was the morning of the third day after their last mission. The SG-1 team, minus Vala, was eating a quiet breakfast. No one had mentioned Vala during the meal. As they finished eating Daniel tried to sound nonchalant as he asked if they thought Vala might make it to lunch.
Mitchell choked on his corn muffin. Coughing he looked at Sam and Teal'c. All three of them were asking themselves the same question. Could Daniel really not know that she'd left?
"I doubt that ValaMalDuran will have returned to Earth by then."
Daniel looked confused. "What do you mean 'returned'?"
With no expression Sam explained. "Vala left as soon as she came back through the Gate from P7X-238. Two days ago."
"Left? Left where?"
"DanielJackson, ValaMalDuran has taken a leave of absence from SGC while she determines her future direction in life."
"What do you mean 'leave of absence'? Why would she do that? Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't she tell me?"
"Are you kidding Jackson? Why the hell do you think she left?"
Daniel was going to insist that he had no idea why Vala would leave, but it would have been another lie. Daniel thought it might be time to stop lying to his friends and to himself. His elbows were on the table and he held his head in his hands. "I went too far didn't I? And now it's too late."
His friends had no sympathy for his anguish. Teal'c, Sam and Mitchell stood up together. Before they left the table General Landry approached them.
He had a large smile and nodded to them. "So Dr. Jackson, you did come to your senses before it was too late. Congratulations. I knew you weren't stupid enough to let Vala leave. Take my advice and don't waste any more time. Life is too short. When you're in love …"
Sam interrupted him. "What do you mean, Sir? Vala left the day before yesterday."
"She certainly did not. Walter had strict orders to let me know before she left. I wanted one last chance to talk her out of it. Surely you don't think Walter screwed up?"
Mitchell looked at Sam and asked "Did you know she was still here?"
"No. I haven't seen her since we got back. Actually I haven't seen her since the morning we left for P7X-238. That was two days ago."
"Report to the Briefing Room in 20 minutes people. I intend to find out what the hell's going on around here."
Together Sam and Mitchell replied "Yes, Sir"
"Indeed."
Teal'c, Sam and Mitchell sat around the table and General Landry stood in the door with Walter. Walter was nervous and Landry was angry. Vala's bag and coat were on the table.
"It seems that Vala Mal Duran never returned to SGC. And somehow that little fact fell between the bureaucratic cracks. It isn't clear yet how that happened. But there will be an investigation." He glared at Walter as he spoke.
Sam spoke first. "We all knew she planned to leave that evening and when she sent me the message that she was going to 'keep on going' I assumed she was coming back here and leaving early. When I didn't see her around I thought that she'd already been here and left."
"Indeed."
Mitchell added "That's what I thought, too. Maybe she gated directly from P7X-238 to wherever the hell she was going."
Daniel protested pointing at the table. "But why would she leave without her stuff?"
"I'll check the Gate logs from here to make sure she didn't gate out with another team as soon as she arrived back at SGC. If Vala wanted to leave as soon as possible it might have seemed the easiest way if she wanted to avoid us. I know she didn't have a specific destination in mind. SG-13 is still on P7X-238. I'll contact them and have them send me the DHD data from the Gate there. I should have some answers in a couple of hours." She stood up, excused herself, and left the room.
"We'll meet back here at 2100 hours." Landry turned on his heels and left. A terrified Walter scurried after him.
"What you're telling me, Colonel Carter, is that Vala never left P7X-238."
"Yes sir. As far as I can tell that's correct."
Daniel stood up and headed for the door.
"Where do you think you're going Dr. Jackson?"
"To P7X-238. To go get her."
"Not so fast, son. Does anybody think the villagers are responsible for her disappearance?"
Sam and Teal'c answered together. "No."
"Do you agree Colonel Mitchell?"
"That one Elder creeped me out and I don't think they were telling the whole truth about the Wall. But they didn't strike me as criminals or evil bad guys. I can't think of any reason why they'd want Vala. They aren't crazy about us spending time in their village but they sure do want the money they'll get with the treaty agreement."
"SG-1, I want you to be ready to go through the Gate at 0600 hours tomorrow. I suggest you go fully prepared, including weapons. We have no idea what you might find."
SG-1 stood in the Gate Room preparing to leave for P7X-238 for the third time. The three of them were looking anywhere but at each other. Mitchell spoke first. "Does anyone else have a bad …"
He was interrupted in midsentence by Sam. She punched him in the arm. "Do not finish that sentence. You've read enough mission reports to know better."
Teal'c gave him the faintest of Jaffa dirty looks. "Indeed, ColonelMitchell."
Daniel hadn't heard any of it. He was distracted by the feeling of dread that he couldn't dismiss. If he'd heard Mitchell he might have done more than punch his arm. The last Chevron locked and they walked up the ramp into the Kawoosh.