Holly was a bit frightened; well more to say he felt scared shit-less well as scared out of your pants as an eleven year old boy could get. His mom he noticed had been moody all day more in particular with their father Hoagie- and it wasn't her regular bouts of I'm ignoring you because your an idiot and the only reason I don't make you sleep on the couch is because the kids would be free to torment you kind off angry. No, his mom was pissed and he had no idea or indication as to why.

Holly imagined It wouldn't have been so bad if it was just one of those shut up I don't feel like talking to you kind of deals she and her father had but she was just being plain evil. She didn't respond with glares or shouts or anything beyond that. Her words were calm and civil almost happy, and he dreaded that more than the flu shots. Her furry was so bad even Amalee the child who can do no wrong was avoiding them. Even the baby, the Baby the noisiest kid Holly had ever had the pleasure of trying to drown out with reggae music- the teething devil who cries every three minutes in the middle of the night was peaceful. The house was filled with an ominous disquiet it was like being suckered into watching Sesame street with his little brother only to remember as his watching it the show is skin deep, those costume come off behind them are greasy big headed actors who couldn't get a real job. The thought just made him shutter, he hated thespians.

And so he decided for the night he was going to get to the source of the matter. Regardless of the circumstance. It was the evening time the house tingled with fevered whispers as the children sat in accustom silence. Ariana was helping her mother by feeding the baby Den- he in return was making quite a mess but the girl didn't seem to mind gurgling nonsense back at the boy.

Amalee had young Lu by the ear as he explained to her the practicality of time tables and division he had then decided to scribble onto his mash potatoes the quadratic formula before his sister insisted they talk about languages instead. Mom and dad had left into the kitchen where Holly could here their soft disgruntled whispers from the dining room. Looking around he decided he was the oldest, he had to be the one to get to the bottom of this.

"Well if you wouldn't have bought that piece of shit thing in the first place we wouldn't have got stuck with crap."

"Hey treat Irene with some respect she's a guest."

"Abby don't care she is dangerous and freakin' home wreaker."

"Momma," Said woman looked up from her bickering to her oldest child. Hoagie stood near her with a frustrated yet dejected expression.

"What is it baby?" She asked. Looking at the sight of what she would always deem her little baby. He was getting older she couldn't refuse that even now at only eleven he was catching what Abby declared the unwarranted attention of the older junior high school girls. Who could resist the sight of sweet baby blue eyes, freckles and a set of long braided hair down his back. Abby knew their would be a day the girls would swoon over her little boy, but it was too soon she grimaced, hopefully or not those Hoagie genes will show up soon to ward them, if not she was going to buy him stick to beat those girls off of him.

"Uhhmmm..." He shuffled his feet together before blushing. "Why are you and dad fighting?" Cocking his head up he looked so adorably Hoagie-like as he batted his glimmering eyes at her.

"What makes you think were fighting?" Abby asked clenching the dish a little tighter.

He looked at his mom, "So your not fighting?" Then turned to his dad. "So is this one of those girl things you were telling me about dad?" Hoagie blanched at the woeful look his son sent him. Abby blushed red before stealing herself turning to her sweating husband before looking back at her son who was stuck somewhere between frustrated and curious.

Standing by her son Abby asked, "What is this girl thing your speaking of?"

"Huh? Oh!" Holly responded completely ignoring his father's indignant whelping and hand gestures to keep quiet continued, "Dad said since I'm getting older and girls from my school are going to want to, get in on... this? I think is what he said?"

Looking at her husband, "Is that right? Continue."

"I should know about this special time when girls get really cranky. He said every month a girl foot starts to hurt really bad from wearing to many high heel shoes and so they let out all their anger for a couple days until their foot feels better. When this happens I should ignore them like the plague!" Recited Holly word for word.

"Is that so?" Abby countered raising her eyebrows at her husband.

"Yeah well, you know dear..." Abby placed her hand in front of Hoagie's face to silence him.

"Except I asked this girl cause she was being really, really mean about it and she told me she doesn't own heels, and you don't where heels either but dad says you wear lots of heels to bed and so you get mad more times in a month than the other girls at my school."

Clucking her tongue Abby clicked her nails against the counter, "So that's what your father told you." Tapping her foot Abby glared at her husband, "So I wear a lot of heels to bad huh, well okay. You aren't going to be seeing heels for a long time. And you know while were at it Hoagie why don't you tell him about Irene?"

"Honey I don't think that-"

"What you don't want them to know about Irene, cause apparently everybody but Abby knows about Irene!" She pulled Hoagie by the cuff of his shirt. "If I ever see Irene in this house again I promise I will strangle that thing. Do you understand me."

"Whose Irene?" Amalee ask. All the children save for Den gathered at the entrance of the kitchen.

"Well uhmm... how do I explain, when a man loves something very much but can't have it. It makes him kind of desperate sometimes..." He looks at his wife who sends an exasperated sigh his way, "He will do anything to have it and sometimes when you don't obey the rules you get stuck with consequences. Do you understand?"

The children nodded. Abby left shaking her head and groaning into her palm, this was without a doubt the Hoagie gene.

A few days later. He was at home a bit later than usual. He found the kids in the dining room finish up homework. Abby was in the bedroom apparently just out of the shower only bared in her towl coming to the end of a phone conversation.

"Yes principle Weisegnhower I'm sorry for the mishap. No I promise we are not having any marital problems and I assure you there are no illegitimate children that I know off. Believe me I would have castrated my husband if that was the case. They were merely confused my husband," finally noticing Hoagie in the room, "has a tendency to speak in metaphors. Yes I'm very sorry for the mishap. Irene? She's a car, a crappy car I told my husband he couldn't have but he bought it anyways. Its so broken we can't get rid of it but its a death trap so I don't want it in the house. Well I hope you have a goody evening as well again sorry for the misunderstanding."

Hanging up the phone Abby let go of a breathe. In the meantime Hoagie was trying to cancel out his fear and sneak out the room unnoticed. "Hoagie."

"Yes wife who I cherish to the bottom of my heart and promise to love through good and bad, sickness and health because you know those are some powerful words and all."

She took a deep breadth, "From now on Abby is giving all the kids the talk. I don't care if its the dog had died talk to the sex and drugs talk. I'm giving all of them. Heels Hoagie, really? Heels?"

"Well you know since your not mad at me and your already in a towel how about we,"

"Oh I don't think so you know I've been wearing to many heels and all and my feet hurt so bad there's no way someone in so much pain could handle that."

"Abby!"

Ariana starred blankly at her mother while Holland was close to green his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"I can't believe you told me that!" Holland screamed running out of the room.

Ariana looked at her mother almost close to tears, "You mean Its gonna happen no matter what I do and it won't stop for days?" Even if I try to hide it with a band aid."

"People do that All the time but it doesn't make it stop."

"Then what does."

"Time." Abby countered.

"Bu-but, that's gross." Ariana shivered in her seat, "Well at least Holland will have it before me."

Putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder Abby sighed,"Baby that's not how it works you probably have about two more years before-"

"But I don't want to get pimples momma!"