It had been several months since that rescue mission to North Korea had turned deadly. He had spent many hours reflecting on what had happened.
He had been tortured by Wo-Fat and in the weeks that followed after Danny and his team had rescued him and as he recovered from the physical injuries, the mental torture had been even worse. He was haunted by nightmares as he played her death over and over again in his mind. He had become withdrawn and he just couldn't pull himself out of the despair and depression that took over his life.
Looking back on those days of darkness he knew that he would never have recovered if it hadn't been for his partner, Danno.
They had been partners for a little over a year at that time and though they had grown close, this crisis and 'that night' had bonded them deeply.
Steve had not been answering his phones that afternoon and as Danny arrived at the house to check on him he was alarmed at the sight before him. The house was a mess, dirty and cluttered. Beer bottles and containers of half eaten take-out and delivery meals were strewn about in the usually clean and tidy living room and kitchen. The smell of rotting food was overwhelming. As he searched the house for Steve his fear grew. Open medicine bottles covered the bathroom vanity, numerous pain pills and sleeping aids…..the bottles were all nearly empty meaning the injured man was taking more than the prescribed doses. Now fearing for his friend's life, Danny had raced through the house and into the back yard. His eyes frantically searched the horizon until he spotted his partner, lying spread eagle in the sand at the oceans edge.
As he reached the unconscious man's side he dropped to his knees holding his fingers to Steve's neck relieved to find a strong, steady pulse. The sun had set and it was a fairly cool evening as a storm was imminent. Steve was shirtless and barefoot, wearing only sweatpants. He was wet as the tide had been washing over him and several empty beer bottles were at his side. He slapped Steve's cheeks attempting to rouse him.
"Steve….Steve come on man wake up for me now…..STEVE !"
Eventually the drunken man's eyes opened and a broad crooked smile crossed his face, "DANNO ! Buddy….hheeyy…..good ttoo see you!"
Danny couldn't help but crack a smile of relief at his drunken friend, "Good to see you too, what are you doing out here?"
Steve struggled to a sitting position and laughed, "Just havin' a beer….oohhh….I'm kinda' wet"
"Yeah, you're kinda' wet. Come on you fool, let's get you into the house and into some dry clothes okay?"
Danny helped his friend to his feet and they staggered into the house.
As Steve went to change into dry clothes Danny started to brew a pot of coffee.
"STEVE, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG, YOU OKAY?"
When we got no response, he climbed the stairs towards the bedroom. The lights were on in the bathroom and the door was closed. Not bothering to knock he opened the door alarmed to find his partner fumbling with the medicine bottles.
Danny lunged forward knocking his partner to the floor. Taking his hand and brushing it across the vanity he sent the pills flying through the air.
"NO STEVE, NO MORE!"
"Danny…please…..I need the pills, I hurt brother…..I hurt"
Looking down at his partner, Danny Williams was terrified at what he saw. He had never seen Steve McGarrett like this, so scared…..so vulnerable. Kneeling at his side he placed a strong supportive hand on Steve's shoulder and that small gesture was too much. Steve began to shake uncontrollably and the words came haltingly,
"It's all my…..ffaaullt…..Danny, oh God…..it's all my ffauult"
Danny instinctively pulled Steve to his chest attempting to comfort the man he had grown to admire so much. He had never met anyone as strong and as confident as Steve and yet here he was, holding the man as his body was wracked with tortured sobs.
"It's going to be okay Steve, let it all out buddy…I'm here now, I've got you…"
They sat like this for a long time until Steve's body began to relax. Pulling him to arms length Danny again spoke, "The coffee should be ready, let's start sobering you up a bit now"
Danny stood and helped his partner to his feet and down into the kitchen. He cleared an area on the table and poured coffee for both of them.
"Are you hungry?"
"No Danno….I'm sorry man"
"You have nothing to be sorry for partner. I'm your friend and I'm worried about you. We need to talk about this but you have to sober up first so whether you're hungry or not, I need you to eat something"
"Alright…..Thanks Danno"
"You're welcome. Now you keep drinking that coffee, you hear me?"
"Yes sir"
Danny prepared some scrambled eggs and toast and the men ate in silence.
After brewing another pot of coffee, Danny sat to face his friend. "I talked to your Doctor earlier today Steve. He told me he gave you the okay to come back to work last week. Talk to me brother…." Steve sat with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands as Danny continued, "Look at you…..look at this place, Jesus Steve, you've got to snap out of this"
"She's dead because of me Danno…..it's my fault"
"You know that's not true. She betrayed you! You were tied up and you were tortured! I know you like to be the hero at all times but there was nothing you could have done for her Steve, nothing! You had no way of knowing that Wo-Fat was behind it"
"I see her in my dreams every night Danny. I can't sleep…Wo-Fat wanted me and he used her to find me. She'd be alive if it weren't for me and you know that"
"So what are you going to do stop living, just quit!"
"Danny, I just can't do this anymore. I've lost my parents, I've lost men under my command and I've lost partners…..nothing's ever hit me like this before…."
"Steve, I…..I can tell you that you are not to blame until I'm blue in the face…I cared about her too….if you don't remember she saved my life when I was exposed to the sarin. She knew of your connection to Wo-Fat and she chose to believe him. She betrayed you, hell Steve…she betrayed us, she betrayed 5-0 and if you need to hear somebody say it then here goes ….the only people responsible for Jenna's death are Wo-Fat and Jenna herself. I'm not going to just sit by and watch you kill yourself. I took this job so I could help clean up this island and keep it safe for my daughter and those I love. Nobody I know is better at their job than you are Steve. Now, are you going to quit and drink yourself to death or are you going to get back to work and help me find Wo-Fat. Your search for that son-of-a-bitch has been so you could avenge the deaths of your parents and now he's killed Jenna as well. We need to stop him Steve and I need you with me"
Steve looked into the eyes of his partner, "Thank You Danno, Thank You"
"I want you to go up to your room now, get some sleep and come in to the office in the morning, okay?"
The men stood and after a brief embrace, Steve went up to bed. Danny had stayed for several hours cleaning the house and doing his laundry.
That night Danny Williams had seen a side of Commander Steve McGarrett that very few people ever saw. He wasn't really Superman, he had fears and regrets, inner demons just like any other mortal. That night Steve and Danny became more than just partners, they were now truly family and they would be there for each other, always.