Title: Dear Danno - Letter 3

Author notes: hi this the third letter I wanted to say thanks to all of you who left a review, and big thanks to my amazing beta Jerseybelle.

Danny was the last one. There were no more McGarrett's, he was the last one carrying that name. He was now known as Detective Williams-McGarrett and he would be the last one.

She was dead, he had just buried his sister in law; Steve's baby sister had killed herself because she couldn´t take the pain.

The stupid, fucking bitch killed herself because she couldn´t take it anymore. BULL, she was just a coward that couldn´t deal with it. That was what he was telling himself until a voice in his head reminded him that if he didn´t have his Monkey and family, he would happily eat his gun and be damned with it.

Danny was angry, enraged because he failed; he failed Steven in taking care of Mary. He should had known that she could do something like this.

"Son of a bitch."

"Danny?"

"I failed, Chin, I failed him."

"No, Danny, you didn´t fail Steve, you...you…"

"I what, Chin, tell me. I fucking failed him, because I should have known. I knew Mary wasn´t fine, but I´m drowning in my own despair. Chin, I´m drowning and I didn´t see that she was slipping, I should have known, I´m a fucking detective, Chin, but I didn´t and you want to know something?"

"What Danny?"

"I envy her. I have Monkey, my baby, the one I never call because I´m too fucking drunk to do it and I have my family in Jersey and I have you so I can´t leave you alone, I can´t eat my gun like I want to. I can´t sleep, Chin, I just want him back, Chin, you understand, I want him back. I never had him in my arms but they ached with need, I craved what I never knew. I can´t fucking cry at my sister in law's funeral because I don´t have any more tears, and I fucking envy her because I want to follow her. I know she´s happy now because he´s hugging her and I want that, I ached for his hug, Chin, I´m fucking drowning, Chin and I´m scared that someday maybe not even Gracie can be enough of a reason for me to keep existing."

"Danny, I can´t give you reasons, because, brah, I don´t have much. I´m struggling and so is Kono. Steve was Ohana, the kind that never turned his back at you. Steve was Ohana, Danny, he give me a reason to get up in the mornings, he give me back my pride he gave my cuz a place to prove herself beyond the fact that she was the cuz of a "dirty cop". He was Ohana, Danny, for her and for me and now we´re sinking I can see that and I don´t know if we will be strong, but I can tell you this, you´re not alone, we´re there with you, Danny. So when you can´t find a reason, you call me or Kono OK, and WE WILL BE THERE to give you one and we will stay with you because we owe you and Steve that, because he would have thrown a fit if you follow him without see Grace first child fist you understand, so we had become you guardians Danny and you can keep being ours, so when we can't find a reason, we'll call eachother, ok?"

"OK."

And after leaving Mary next to her brother they left the cemetery together.

Danny knew that he couldn´t keep drinking but he needed the alcohol to numb the pain because even when he had agreed with Chin, he knew deep inside him that he may be fighting a losing battle.

Again, in Steve´s bed with the photo of Chin´s birthday near him, he opened the next letter.

"Danno,"

Hi, Danno, this is the third letter that I'm writing and I´m thinking about sending them to you, but I don´t know, maybe I´ll wait.

How are things back home? Are you behaving, Danno? And by behaving I mean, tell me at least you blow up a car or throw a suspect in the shark tanks every once in a while.

We completed the assigment here but still this mission will be long, we have a long road to cover. Well, enough about me.

Tell me, Danno, how is my princess? Did you give her my kiss? Because I will find out if you didn´t and I´m going to get very angry if you deprived my princess of the kissess she deserves-Tell her that Uncle Steve loves his princess-

I miss you, Danno…and Danny froze because Steve´s feeling were scaping him.

Yeah, I have said it, I miss you my friend.

Danny, who knew Steve would have had to be afraid of scaring him, again closed his eyes in sadness at never having the chance of telling him that he missed him back and that he loved him. Danny´s tears appeared.

* I´m a bit annoyed the second that they send me in this mission is making me angry , I miss you, partner. You know how to have my back.

Danny I just wanted to say that you and I need to speak to each other. I need to tell you something, Danno, and I hope you won´t get angry at me.

Wait for me, Danno, I´ll come home. I promise.

Steve

Danno could see Steve's resolution to tell him about his feelings. Danny now could only dream how that moment could had been.

"What would you had done, Steve? Goofus, what would you have done?"

And with his letter clutched in his hand and thanks again to Jack, he welcomed the blackness that was now his world.

TBC