Chapter 12: Not Moving On

There was just something different about the waitresses at Pandasan when they got there about half an hour later. Eiji was with them of course, and when the waitresses saw the boy standing between him and Nowaki, they started acting just a little bit crazier than usual. However, Hiroki had glared at them, and they had regained their composure and told the three to sit wherever they'd like.

Hiroki had made a habit of sitting across from Nowaki rather than beside him, but Eiji sat in one side of the booth and Nowaki in the other. It had come down to sitting next to Nowaki or sitting next to the kid.

In the end, it seemed that Nowaki was the lesser of two evils, because Hiroki sat down next to him. Nowaki just smiled and picked up a menu, and Hiroki was at least thankful that Nowaki didn't try to hold his hand or something.

"Thanks for doing all of this, Wacchan," Eiji said, his head ducked. The waitress hadn't yet come to take their order, so he at least had the excuse of looking down at the menu to hide his embarrassment. "I know you didn't have to."

Nowaki put down his menu and smiled at Eiji. Hiroki had to look away lest it be obvious that the smile was making him blush; Nowaki always looked so gentle, but perhaps it was the fact that he was always a bit spaced-out as well. He was a good guy, but most of the time, his eyes were unfocused like he was looking at something that Hiroki couldn't see.

"It's my pleasure, Eiji. You know I do whatever I can to help you and the rest of the children at the orphanage," Nowaki said. "And it's no trouble at all. Right, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki choked a little on the water he'd been drinking when Nowaki suddenly addressed him. Even though the apartment was technically still only his at that point in time, he hadn't had a single part in the decision to let Eiji sleep over. Oh sure, he could've protested, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn't. He couldn't say no to Nowaki.

Well, there was one instance in which he had said no to Nowaki repeatedly, but Hiroki had gone without sex for a few years now, so saying no wasn't that big a deal. It was becoming harder and harder to tell himself that he didn't want it, of course, but whenever he almost did, he just thought of the fact that he still had feelings for Akihiko and it kind of ruined it for him.

Nowaki didn't deserve to date a man who didn't put all of his feelings into it, after all. And as it was, Hiroki barely had any feelings at all, let alone enough to distribute between Akihiko and Nowaki to make it worthwhile.

Hiroki just shook his head and proceeded to order, since the waitress had gotten there while he was stuck in his own thoughts. He just ordered what he always got there and thrust the menu at the waitress like he was mad at her or something. She was too busy looking amazed at the child sitting there with them to really care, though.

"What?" Hiroki asked when she didn't go away.

The waitress held the menus up to her chest and took a deep breath, as if she needed to brace herself for what she was about to ask. "Did you two just adopt him?"

Hiroki had been about to reach for his glass, but at that he stopped. Nowaki just kept going about his business like nothing had happened, but if Hiroki had taken a drink, he probably would've done a spit take. "Excuse me?"

"Well I was just wondering since you two have never come in with anyone else before and…" The waitress's eyes wandered off to the side, as if there were something there that would get her in less trouble than this conversation was.

"There is no 'us two,'" Hiroki said with a huff, picking up his glass.

The waitress looked directly at him again, confused. "You're not together?"

"No." Hiroki narrowed his eyes behind his glass as he drank. Beside him, Nowaki didn't say anything. He just kept his head ducked, ignoring the strange look Eiji was giving them both.

Someone over in the kitchen called their waitress's name, and she quickly went back to her job. Hiroki recognized the waitress from other times they had been into Pandasan, and when she got their table, she wasn't exactly known for her diligence in relation to her wanting to just stand there and stare at them all day. But Hiroki had clearly caused an awkward scene, and she wanted to get away from it as quickly as possible.

There was a long silence between the three. Nowaki, of course, was too nice to say anything even though Hiroki could tell that he wanted to. Eiji, on the other hand, got tired of the awkward silence after a while and said, "So you two really aren't together?" Hiroki huffed but shook his head. "So like, you live together and you kiss each other and all that, but you're not together?"

Hiroki grit his teeth. Then, without warning, he pulled out his wallet, tossed a thousand yen bill on the table, and said, "Just tell them to pack up my food. I'm going home."

"Hiro-san-" Nowaki started.

Hiroki just waved him off and put his wallet away before leaving the restaurant. He had thought about making excuses about having work, because he did have work he could be doing instead of going out to eat with Nowaki and Eiji. On the other hand, he was tempted to just drink himself into oblivion. Of course, that was a rather bad idea since it was still a week night; he'd made the mistake of going into classes hungover during his first few weeks as an assistant professor, and he firmly believed that his heightened reactions to his students stupidity because of the jackhammer pounding into his left temple was why they started calling him Kamijou the Devil.

When Hiroki was about a block down the street, his cell phone started ringing. He thought that it might be Nowaki, trying to reason with him and get him to go back to the restaurant. When he looked at the caller display, however, he saw that it wasn't Nowaki.

Hiroki wasn't sure if he wanted to answer the phone when it was his mother calling. As he had pointed out to Nowaki, he still hadn't told his parents about him. Not that there was really anything to tell, as Hiroki had so helpfully pointed out.

Finally, though, he sighed and accepted the call. "Good evening, Mother."

"Ah, so you finally decided to answer me, Hiro-chan," came his mother's voice. She didn't sound mad or like she was going to curse him out, she just sounded amused. "What exactly have you been doing with yourself these past weeks? I've been trying to call since the last time we talked and you never answer."

Hiroki tried to think about what he'd been doing since he'd hung up on his mother that day he'd been leaving the university, but all he could really think of was the fact that he'd been spending so much time with Nowaki. His mother sometimes exaggerated when talking about her efforts to get into contact with him, but Hiroki betted that if he looked into his call history, he'd find a lot of missed calls from his mother's number.

Finally he sighed and said, "I've been busy, Mother. The semester started so I've had classes to teach and plan. Also, you know how much research I have to do." His mind briefly went to that project he'd been doing involving him comparing the English translations of Akihiko's novels to the original Japanese. He hadn't picked that up once since Nowaki unofficially moved in. He didn't even know where half of his Usami Akihiko novels were, although he had a feeling that Nowaki had picked them up and put them away one night when he was alone in the apartment.

"You don't have to make excuses, Hiroki," his mother said, and he flinched at the use of his full name. She almost always called him Hiro-chan; it was only when she was in an especially cross mood with him that she resorted to "Hiroki." When Hiroki was in America, he'd heard kids referred to in cross voices with three names; Hiroki figured that if Japan traditionally gave their children middle names, his mother would use his along with his full name just to really let him know shit was going down.

"They aren't excuses, Mother," Hiroki said, glancing around. Pandasan wasn't that far from his apartment building, so he could see it in the distance. When he turned, all it did was confirm that neither Nowaki nor Eiji had come after him. He frowned. If he hurried, he could get a change of clothes from the apartment and just go to his and Miyagi's office for the night. It'd probably be better for his productivity than having Nowaki there trying to cuddle up to him and Eiji around asking weird questions. "…anyway, I have to go into the university. Unless there was something urgent, do you think you could call back tomorrow?"

His mother sighed. "Oh fine, Hiro-chan. Just don't work too hard or you'll get sick, okay?"

He was twenty-eight; he didn't need his mother telling him to be careful about getting sick. He still agreed, though, simply because he didn't feel like it was worth it, at that point, to fight his mother.

Hiroki was able to get in and out of the apartment before Nowaki and Eiji got back, but when he got to the university, he was disconcerted to see the light was on in the office. Of all the nights for Miyagi to actually be working late.

The door was locked, however, and Hiroki frowned at it. It wasn't like there were people who went around the university at night, finding rooms where professors lurked and trying to mug them or something, so he didn't see why Miyagi would need the door locked while he was still in there. He was about to knock when he heard a voice.

"I don't care what my father thinks!" Hiroki was quick enough to recognize it as Shinobu. "I love you Miyagi! I would've thought that would be enough." He was sounding a little choked up, and that combined with what he was saying was making Hiroki feel embarrassed just listening to it.

"You're just a kid. Hell I'm twice your age and I probably couldn't tell you what love is." And that was Miyagi.

There was an odd sound that Hiroki could've sworn was crying, and that was about when he decided he should knock on the door and let them know that someone had been listening to their rather dramatic conversation.

"Shit," Miyagi hissed, probably thinking it was the dean of literature. There was some shuffling before he came to the door, but it took him a few seconds to open it even after the lock clicked. When he saw it was Hiroki, however, he visibly relaxed. "Ah, Kamijou-sensei. What are you doing here? I thought you went home for the night."

Hiroki narrowed his eyes. "Too many distractions. I thought I'd come here to do some work, if you and that squirrely little boyfriend of yours are done with your lovers spat."

Miyagi frowned but nodded. Then he turned into the office and said, "Come on, Shinobu. I'll bring you home."

"I don't want to go home," Shinobu muttered, but when he saw Hiroki was there, he was more than willing to comply.

With them gone, Hiroki thought he would open up his laptop and get to work. However, he ended up kicking off his shoes, tossing his bag and coat aside, and just laying on the couch. He was too tired for this shit.