Disclaimer: See first chapter.
Ghost of Love: Chapter Thirteen
Sakura sank slowly onto her unmade bed, struggling to process what had just happened. Sasuke… She felt his image still burning in her mind, the serious, attractive features of her childhood crush now fleshed out and developed into a truly handsome man. Not really, though. He still seems so young. I mean, sure, he's changed- grown and filled out, but… I can't help but feel like he's still really not an adult. It's like his body has grown but his mind's still stuck where it was when he was twelve. Like he can't move on until he has his revenge, maybe. Ugh, I don't even know what I'm thinking. Sakura groaned in a mixture of frustration and exhaustion and let her head fall into her hands. I need to just not think about him. I have to focus on getting out of here first and foremost. When I'm back, safe and sound in the Leaf Village, then I can try and make sense of everything.
Slowly the pink-haired kunoichi got to her feet and gathered up a change of clothes. She frowned with disgust as she noted - as she did every time she opened the drawer - that her clothes consisted mainly of Sound Jailor uniforms with a single flak jacket tucked away at the back. The difference this time was that a Sound forehead protector lay smack bang in the middle, on top of one of the jailor outfits. Like I would ever wear one of those. She shoved the drawer shut with a disgusted bang and left the room, heading for the showers near the end of the hall. Her brisk, energetic strides garnered strange looks from the few people she passed on her way; she had been listless for the last few days and never in their – admittedly limited - experience had she displayed such purpose. Their minds registered the change but hardly dwelled on it for a moment. Sakura herself was entirely unaware of the difference in her demeanour- she was too busy examining her encounter with Sasuke and fuming over the deliberately placed headband to notice.
I wonder what they did with my forehead protector. I wish I had it with me. Just something to give me a connection to home. Even my clothes have disappeared! It's like nothing exists outside this damn compound – and anything that might give you hope otherwise must be destroyed. Hope must be destroyed. God I hate him. It occurred to Sakura then that she wasn't entirely sure which him she was hating at the moment- Sasuke or Orochimaru. She quickly decided on both of them. Bastards.
She showered slowly and mindlessly, her subconscious far too busy processing to spare any energy for conscious thought. She dried off, dressed and dropped her dirty laundry into the large basket near the entrance to the showers and didn't come back to herself until she was wandering aimlessly down the hall toward her room. Why was Sasuke in my room, I wonder? Was he just looking for me and I happened to walk in at the right time? Was he waiting for me? Or was there something else? Maybe he never meant for me to even know he'd been in my room… That doesn't make sense, though- what could be in there that would interest him? She shook off these thoughts for the moment- but they intruded again with a loud bang; He was the one in my room the other night! It has to have been him! But why? Ugh, there are no answers.
Her training with Orochimaru had left her feeling pleasantly empty of thought, worry and emotion- but now that hollow was filled with conflicted thoughts chasing each other around and around, providing no answers and ever more questions. Why was Sasuke in my room twice? Why is Orochimaru pretending to be nice? Why does he sometimes glow and other times not? Who does the laundry around here? I've never seen anyone going in to collect it and it always just appears again, clean in my drawers.
And now I think I need to just stop thinking. I don't have any answers and I don't know how I'm going to get them at the moment.
Sakura groaned and flopped down on her bed once again, in almost exactly the same spot as before. Her training with Orochimaru had been rigorous and both mentally and physically demanding, but it provided her with something to examine that didn't rouse questions and fears.
First he had her concentrate intently on her chakra, similar to how she did when healing or giving him her excess energy. Then, when she was completely in tune with it she had to direct it, just as she would for walking on water or climbing trees. He insisted that before he could teach her anything else she had to have complete mastery of the Matsumori chakra- though how that was ever going to come about was beyond Sakura. She could only just manage to force it to obey her when it was at its lowest ebb; right after Orochimaru had siphoned off the excess. Today had been absolutely dreadful because she was halfway through the four day cycle that they had developed- every fourth day she would give him the overload of foreign chakra that her body couldn't handle and it was only for a few hours after that she could control it. Today it was well over the limits that she could deal with and it was incredibly frustrating not to be able to do the simple things that had always come so naturally to her. It didn't help her emotional state that Orochimaru was merciless and unrelenting, pushing her harder and harder until finally, out of sheer miserable desperation, she managed to wrestle the wild chakra into submission. And all the frantic frustration and fear was worth it for the elation she felt at finally – if just for a moment – controlling the restless energy that had invaded her body and wrested all of her power away from her. It didn't last more than a few seconds but it was enough. Orochimaru had smirked and his eyes had blazed with hot, gleeful triumph as he witnessed his weak, soft little distraction succeed in his presence for the first time. He had dismissed her immediately after that with glowing, almost-happy forcefulness.
Sakura smiled as she remembered his expression. It wasn't really happiness and it wasn't really pride, but it could almost be called both those things. Perhaps it was as close as he could get? Maybe he really is still a sensei underneath all of that evil?
The coral-maned kunoichi stretched her slowly tightening muscles and combed her fingers through still-damp hair with a vague grin on her face. Maybe those exercise and success induced endorphins weren't completely chased away by Sasuke's visit after all? With a determined shove she forced all thoughts out of her head and closed her eyes, zeroing in on her chakra with perhaps slightly more ease than she had earlier. Practice makes perfect. Maybe he will be able to teach me how to control this chakra after all? That would be wonderful. I could break out of here and maybe even kill him… Darkness hovered at the back of her mind and Sakura frowned at the strange near-unhappiness that this thought caused. It flashed through her mind, wordless and formless, that if she killed him he would never look like that again. With glowing eyes full of almost-happiness and almost-pride. Full of energy and life and…
No more thoughts… just chakra. I'm getting out of here. Whether I end up destroying him in the process or not.
AN: Not much to say about this one, except... ugh. It was like my fingertips had concrete in them, blocking the words from getting out. Stupid, annoying, frustrating - *throws tantrum* grrr.
Anyway, moving on from my juvenile ranting; thankyou to Crazikido2, ReginaSlytherin, Ziggo001 and Echo Uchiha for their encouragement and thoughtful reviews! You're wonderful beyond words, my lovelies!